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Caring for you.
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Twitter detectives track down group of friends suspected of attacking a gay couple in Philadelphia last week.
Blurry faces. Blurrier morals.
It's pretty cool when Twitter is used for heroism instead of, y'know, whatever bullshit you use it for. In this particular case, a few Twitter detectives worked together to solve the case of a hate crime that took place last week in Philadelphia.
A gay couple were violently attacked last Thursday in Philly's Center City. A gang started yelling gay slurs at the two men, and then beat them up, leaving one with fractures and cuts to the face and the other having to undergo surgery and have his jaw wired shut. They also stole a bag one of the men dropped while fleeing.
Philly Police released this video of the suspects:
Then Twitter user Greg Bennett shared this photo from "a friend of a friend of a friend" that showed what appeared to be the same group of people in the same clothes eating dinner at a restaurant:
Philly hate crime: pic.twitter.com/i3PBprO9nn
— Greg Bennett (@GreggyBennett) September 17, 2014
Greg wasn't sure what restaurant they were eating at, but another Twitter user (and Eagles fan) @FanSince09 retweeted the photo and identified the place as La Viola with the help of his nearly 10,000 followers. Then he went a step further, and found out the names of most of the people in the photo with the help of their Facebook check-ins. Apparently, it wasn't that hard.
If you're going to gay bash don't fill your FB profile with gay slurs and also delete that resturant check in from earlier
— FanSince09 (@FanSince09) September 17, 2014
Wise words.
@FanSince09 then called the cops, who were delighted to have the information:
This is how Twitter is supposed to work for cops. I will take a couple thousand Twitter detectives over any one real detective any day.
— Joseph Murray (@PPDJoeMurray) September 17, 2014
Though detective Joseph Murray noted that no arrests had been made yet, he seemed pretty sure that Bennett and @FanSince09 had solved the case.
@FanSince09 just hopes that Twitter users in other cities speak out and help solve crimes like these if they happen in their own hometowns.
Listen. We showed tonight that our city will not tolerate this. My hope if that another city realizes they won't tolerate it
— FanSince09 (@FanSince09) September 17, 2014
Because soon, the message will spread that this won't be tolerated. Not in our town, not anywhere.
— FanSince09 (@FanSince09) September 17, 2014
This is 2014, we have all the information we need at our fingertips.
— FanSince09 (@FanSince09) September 17, 2014
We think @FanSince09 deserves his just reward and so do Philly Police:
I know two guys that should probably get a nice dinner at La Viola soon...
— Joseph Murray (@PPDJoeMurray) September 17, 2014
We hope they get it.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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Beyonce forgot to lip sync in the middle of a concert in Paris.
We're sure she had her reasons.
Beyonce either forgot to lip sync during a recent performance, or she has the god-like ability to broadcast her voice without the use of a microphone. Probably the latter, right?
In the video below, taken by Instagram user flowpest at a concert in Paris, Beyonce appears to stop singing, bend down and touch a few fans' hands. But somehow her singing continues! It might be the magic of Beyonce that makes it possible. Or she lip syncs. Would you deny Queen Bey a damn break for a few seconds?
Click here to experience Beyonce in concert without ever leaving your home.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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Repeat offender.
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Doctor who operated on Joan Rivers took the most tasteless selfie ever before unauthorized procedure.
For the record, this is not the guy. This is Dr. Cohen, who has been put on leave after letting
"the guy" operate on Rivers without a.) her consent or b.) approval to work at that clinic.
Taking what may be the most inappropriate selfie in history is quite an achievement, but the unnamed ear, nose and throat doctor who was operating on Joan Rivers' vocal chords when she went into cardiac arrest may have clinched it. The list of morons you have to defeat to earn this title is impressive: there's the girl who took a selfie at Auschwitz and responded to the controversy with "I'm famous, y'all," and there's even another doctor who was arrested for taking nude selfies next to unconscious patients—but, y'know, those people didn't also die. That doctor also didn't do the absolute worst thing that the ear, nose and throat doctor did to Rivers—perform a procedure that was not authorized, namely a biopsy in Rivers' throat. Oh yeah, he also didn't have the necessary accreditation to operate at Yorkville Endoscopy, the clinic where Rivers went for her procedure.
Yep, that's right. This guy had the gall to take a selfie in the middle of a procedure he hadn't finished and then proceeded to botch. The star's throat is thought to have become inflamed and swollen during the biopsy, causing airflow to her lungs to be cut off, sending her into cardiac arrest. As of yet, neither he (described as Joan Rivers' personal ear, nose and throat doctor, but so far unidentified) nor any other doctors who were present at the earlier (authorized) procedures that day have been charged with malpractice, however.
For more details, click here.
(by Johnny McNulty)
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Thrill seeker.
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Poor judgment.
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Jowly dog plus sunroof equals good times.
Ah, to feel the wind in my teeth.
Thank you, dog owner Josh Hickam, for attaching a GoPro to the roof of your car so we could see your Weimaraner have a jowly good time sticking his head out the sunroof. It's a good reminder that it's all about the simple things in life, like having your cheeks nearly blown off by the breeze.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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No fear.
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These Russian construction workers playing with jackhammers have a blast while getting nothing done.
Jack-hammered.
This video of Russian construction workers playing "guns" should provide some comfort to the rest of the world. It only shows that, despite their reputation for being stone-cold and humorless, Russian men are the same as most men around the world. They just want to have fun while doing as little work as possible. I bet "Jackhammer War" has been played on every construction project since the jackhammer was invented. It's hard to imagine two guys with jackhammers not playing it for at least a few minutes before beginning whatever dreadful job they're actually being paid to do. These guys make it look so fun, the clip could be used as a recruitment tool for manual laborers.
So many crazy videos have been coming out of Russia lately, it's refreshing to see them just being goofy and accomplishing absolutely nothing.
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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Punishing terrain.
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - September 17, 2014
1. New Book Outs Jon Stewart As Imperfect Human Being With Emotions
According to the newly published book Angry Optimist: The Life and Times of Jon Stewart, the Daily Show host is "anything but warm and fuzzy." Lisa Rogak's biography quotes show staff members who claim that he has been known to get angry and yell at people—like a monster!—before eventually cooling down and apologizing for his behavior—like a regretful monster!
If you want to learn synonyms for "annihalted," read Salon tweets about Jon Stewart talking about Fox News.
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) June 6, 2014
2. Google Helpfully Publishes List Of All The Sites You Should Avoid If You Don't Want To See Kate Upton Naked
In an effort to remain transparent, Google has published an enormous list of urls of supermodel Kate Upton's leaked private photographs provided to the tech company by her boyfriend, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, in an effort to get them removed from Google search engine results. This provides vigilant Internet users with an excellent lexicon of web addresses to not accidentally type into their browsers. Believe it or not, Upton and Verlander are yet to thank the company for its help.
Let's get real for a second, even my dog has googled the nude pics of Kate Upton.
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) September 3, 2014
3. North Korea Is "World's Most Advantageous" Nation For Human Rights, Reports Terrified North Korean Report Writer
According to a new 53K-word report published with trembling hands on the Korean Central News Agency website, North Korea leads all other nations on Earth as "the world's most advantageous human rights system." Shockingly, the United States came in dead last as the "world's worst human rights abuser."
So weird - LinkedIn just urged me to congratulate Kim Jong Un on his "work anniversary"
— Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) August 7, 2014
4. America Truly Is The Land Of Opportunity To Get Hugely Fat
The American gut just keeps getting bigger and bigger, according to a recently published report in the Journal of the American Medical Association. The numbers show that 54 percent of U.S. adults are sporting abdominal obesity, up from 46 percent just 15 years ago. This is the most dangerous kind of fat, as it leads often to heart disease, diabetes and the necessity for pretentious suspenders.
“You’re not grossly obese.” - the best compliment I’ve received today
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) September 6, 2014
5. New Study Reveals That Cats Prefer To Be Treated Like Cats
Yes, you are annoying your cat. No, your cat does not like to be constantly petted and pulled up onto your lap and treated like a dog. According to animal behavior expert Dr. John Bradshaw, your cat doesn't quite understand what you're doing with all the grabbing and the poking and the picking up. It's stressing your cat out. "If cat owners understood their pets better, they'd recognize the demands we're putting on them and how that manifests itself in their physical and mental health," Bradshaw said.
“Fuck off.” - cats
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) September 11, 2014
(by Dennis DiClaudio)
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Celebrities reveal the nuttiest things that fans often say to them.
"Who are you again?"
Whether your job is acting or making pizza, it would be extremely annoying if, every day, random people came up to you and asked, "Who are you? What do you do? Will you pose for a picture?" Famous people have to deal with the same routine bullshit that we all have to put up with. Yet, for the average person, encountering a famous person can be so exciting, they don't stop to wonder if that celebrity might be having a crappy day before handing them a phone so they can wish someone they've never met a happy birthday.
An interviewer at the Toronto Film Festival asked a bunch of celebrities the craziest things they routinely hear from people on the street. It's pretty funny, and gives you an idea of why a celebrity might act a little standoffish in public. What's surprising is that more of them don't flip out at people on a daily basis.
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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A guy raced the London Tube on foot.
Hope he's running on the left side of the road.
Man, I love watching other people run while sitting at my desk enjoying some Triscuits directly out of the box (feel free to send me free stuff for that plug, Nabisco). It's even better when they're wearing a GoPro, so I get to experience what it would be like if I was the sort of person who voluntarily raced public transit just to prove I was really, really fast. In fact, I'm the sort of person who sits down to wait for the train to arrive.
This super fit guy, on the other hand, raced London's Circle Line from Mansion House to Cannon Street on foot. The race comes down to the second, and the ending is pretty thrilling.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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Touching sentiment.
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So, the arrested 'Django Unchained' actress was indeed having sex in her car with the door open.
It's a nice day for it, at least. (via TMZ)
Yeah. Here's a tip for anyone, like 'Django Unchained' actress Daniel Watts, who gets arrested for boning in the passenger seat of your car while hanging out the open door: don't start a national brouhaha by refusing to hand over ID and then claiming that you were assaulted and falsely accused of being a prostitute just because you are black and your husband is white.
You were doing the nasty while holding the roof of the car for support with your shirt pulled up around your boobs and your husband's feet on the asphalt after people at a nearby office building had already asked you to stop. They even witnessed you use a tissue to clean up and then throw it on the ground.
And inevitably, TMZ found pictures of it. If it happened in daylight, TMZ will find a picture of it, as they did of Watt's initial arrest, which propelled this incident to fame before TMZ found out it wasn't true:
In short, you accidentally ended up doing a big favor for the kinds of people who like to dismiss real cases of police abuse. They don't need favors. Also, you falsely told people that it was OK to refuse to give ID to the cops, because of "activism." Granted, white people carrying guns in public pull that shit all the time and cops let them get away with it. The way the law is applied sucks. I know it sucks. It sucks. That said, the ACLU advises people to give the cops ID, and this is how people who are not actresses end up in detention limbo for weeks at a time. I'm not saying the cause isn't just, I'm saying this is reckless.
Police abuse is a huge problem, and I understand the urge to say "fuck the police," but encouraging people with less power than you to fuck with the police could get them hurt. The police aren't the nicest or most patient people around, so maybe try to encourage change rather than encourage people to provoke them face to face.
(by Johnny McNulty)
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Don't do it.
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Populist quote.
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Old age.
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