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Bob Ross


Brad Pitt and Zach Galifianakis talk showers and sperms before being interrupted by a surprise guest on 'Between Two Ferns.'

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Bradley Pitts (l), former bassooner, sits down with Zach Galifianakis. 

Zach's last episode featured an historic interview with Barack Obama, and it's surely just a coincidence that the president's popularity has been plummeting ever since. The only way for Between Two Ferns to follow that "get" is to do some mouth stuff with perhaps the world's biggest super star's husband, Brad Pitt. 

Watch for a surprise walk-on about halfway through.

(by Bob Powers)

Kid wears the same shirt in every yearbook photo, even as he continues to grow.

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Nice. Really nice. (Via Daily Camera)

What started as an accident has now become law for Longmont, Colorado 12-year-old Joe Archibold. In second grade he wore his favorite shirt, a "really nice" blue and grey striped hand-me-down from a cousin, in his year yearbook photo. The next year, he accidentally did it again.

He told the Daily Camera that when he realized what he did, he thought, "Hmmm, I guess I'll keep wearing it. Then again and again and again." 

He was able to keep the trend going up to seventh grade because his cousins happened to hand down that same shirt in both the small and medium sizes. 

Now that that wrath of aging has taken its toll, Joe has outgrown even the medium size and realized his yearbook photo mayhem might be coming to an end. Unless, of course, he was able to find the shirt in a larger size. The only problem was the shirt, while still looking really nice, was also really old. It had been handed down a while ago, he didn't know where it had been bought, and it probably wasn't even made anymore.

The tragedy of it all!!

Enter: the Internet. Joe made a desperate plea on Facebook for help finding the shirt in a larger size so that he might continue his tradition without wearing a tight shirt and ripping through it Hulk-style when the photographer asks him to tilt his head a little up and to the left.

His request went (Colorado) viral and, lo and behold, a larger shirt emerged.

When the story made it to Angela Houchin, of Fort Collins, she "jumped out of her chair."

"It was crazy," Houchin told the Daily Camera. "Wait a minute, I recognize that shirt. No way." 

Houchin has a couple of sons older than Joe and bought the really nice blue and grey striped shirt for one of them who didn't see it's value (he's a "Hollister guy"). So "really nice shirt" was left, unworn and in pristine condition, in his closet. 


Ba da ba ba ba... I'm lovin' this really nice shirt. (Via Daily Camera)

It seems impossible that this tale could get more exciting, but it does. The found shirt just happened to be in size extra large! Provided Joe doesn't go on any crazy binge eating episodes, he will be able to wear this shirt at his college graduation.

Not that the former shirts are going into retirement. Joe plans to pass the shirts down to his nephew, Harlan, who, though only being one year old, has already been committed to wearing the shirt for his school pictures by his father. As Joe explained to the Camera, "It's still in really good condition," he says. "It's just a really nice shirt."

(by Myka Fox)

See you.

Painfully embarrassing cases of people who should have used spell-check before getting a tattoo.

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If you can overcome this, you can overcome anything. (via)

You'd think people wouldn't sit in a chair and have permanent ink embedded in their skin without making absolutely, positively certain every letter of it was correct — but if you'd think, you wouldn't be these people. Part of us wishes every tattoo parlor could be immediately outfitted with a Dictionary, an AP Stylebook, and an up-to-date copy of Strunk and White's Elements of Style. But the other part of us knows that would deprive us of photos like these. If you've seen any egregious tattoo typos or, God forbid, have one of your own, please send it to us for our continued amusement.


The ultimate measure of a man's spelling is if he can spell "challenge." (via)

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No love could be loyal enough not to make fun of you for this. (via)

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No spelling mistake to egregious. (via)

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Seems like your major demon is compound verbs. (via)

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In front of a camera so you can be properly shamed. (via)

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Oh, just feeling serious cause you've made such a huge mistake. (via)

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Updated 8/20/14: 


True. We're all just a bunch of imperfect nobodies in the grand scheme of things. 


And not long after that, spell-check. (Via) 


"Surender" your high school diploma, please. It's invalid.(Via)


We did not choose our tattoo typo. We where drunk.  (Via)



Then your wounds did what? (Via)


No one will ever understand the bond they share or the tattoos they get. (via) 


My motto has always been, "Be pre-recorded!" (via)



Family should come first, but spelling shouldn't come quite so far behind. (via)



She should have resisted this. (via)



Is that like a fat infidel? (via)



At least he tride. (via)

Updated 2/20/14:


Sorry, but you fail the exam for your poetic license. (via)

 


It's sad that we're impressed your spelling mistake is easily fixed. (via)

 


Seems like something you could have just put in a card. (via)



She has a presh and pun look. (via)



My dad is my isosceles triangle. (via)



Good thing you're someone who can see the silver lining. (via)


Took us a while to catch it, but luckily we were in no danger of the mistake going away. (via) 


Uh oh. Your tattoo has a spelling mistake and also sucks. (via)


The best place for a spelling mistake is somewhere you can grow hair over. (via) 


Fine, just stop breath-ing so loud! (via)

 


Verily, God is great. (via)

 


An accident or a really weird pun? You decide. (via)


Including all of the limbs you've destroyed.

 


You know, like molasses or something.

 


That's awkward because I'm judging you right now.

 


Fine, maybe one, tiny regert.

 


Well, you're a poor speller.

 


In this case, that's up for debate.


Well, you're genuinely something, anyway.

 


There's really no point in looking back once you've done something like this.

 


On the other hand, weigh your dicisions carefully.

 


I believe you're looking for the word "perfecter."

 


Oh shit, that stawberry's pissed! He just saw a meln running off with his buberry!

 


Like socks.

Updated 8/13/13:


And the wisdom to spell "difference."

 


Is that the British spelling?

 


All a chive needs to do is believe in itself and it can garnish anything!

 


But this tattoo will never, ever be better.

 


Man, raisins again? And I forgot my darn umbrella.

 


And if you can't find one, just think about the fact this person has to live with this forever.

Updated 7/17/13:


There are other measures of success, sir.

 


Even guardian angels can't save this person from herself.

 


But ever so slightly above that: spell-check.

 


It's from First Corinthians Book One.

 


#regret will help you find other things people are regretting!

 


You're never fully an adult until you know the difference between "your" and "you're."

 

Updated 6/17/13:


Sadly, this tattoo will never get better.

 


Does anyonehave the streangth to overcome this?

 


Hey, if you're flawed to begin with, no harm adding a flawed tattoo here and there.

 


And on the 9th day, God was like, "Hang on, that should be 'infantry.'"

 


His perfect match would be a Sajittarius, but he'll end up marrying a Lio.

 


But if your smart, you'll stay away from this nightmare.

Updated 5/16/13:


Well, how do YOU abbreviate "promenade?"

 


You're going to get a lot of the same comments.

 


Lol. It's just an epitaph I wear on my body forever. NBD!

 


...and verb tenses that don't correspond to pluralities.

 


Betting we're better than you at one thing.

 


No time to check spelling. Let's live!

 


So life life to the fullest.

 


Misspelling is the tastiest alcohol.

Updated 4/17/13:


Whereever - when you don't know where you're going but it sounds really fun. Whee!



Did your parents fail to mention it's spelled "Orlando"? Hmm? Burn? No?
 


More like they RAWRley make history. Sorry, we meant to spell that RAWRely.
 


But mostly, dambed if you're dumb.
 


We wonder which one you r.
 


And old enough to make horrible mistakes.

 


Cotton Mather, from the Salem Witch Trials? But you'd be 321 years old... witchboy!
 


No, it won't. That's the point of tattoos.
 


Finally, the feel-good tattoo mispelling of the millenium!
 


Ledgend (n.) - Any great story told about Heath Ledger.
 


...FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

Updated 1/04/13:


That's why Corey wears his sunglasses at night: because he's crying over her.
 


We all eagerly await the Day of Fudgement.
 


The spelling of tragedy may be wrong, but they nailed its definition.

 


This reminds us of how Lance Armstong turned all of our LiveStong into badges of shame.
 


It's nice when people really exemplify the meaning of their tattoos.

 


You have to know how to draw letters terribly before you can misspell "you're."
 


...and maybe nobody will notice your mistake.

 


Yeah, do that road. Do it real good.
 


That's it. We're never not giving up right now.
 


Too busy to spell "too."
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patient zero.

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - October 24, 2014

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1. New Yorkers Finally Get To Make The Ebola Outbreak All About Them

While it's incredibly unlikely that an Ebola-infected doctor accidentally passed on the virus to anyone after returning to New York City from work in Guinea and before eventually being hospitalized and quarantined, it is technically true that there are now several people in the city who are maybe infected. But you know what? That's all that New Yorkers needed. The outbreak is now theirs and they get to be loudly afraid and self-obsessed on social media, so all is right with the world.


2. San Francisco Is About To Lose Its Last Big Lesbian Bar, In Much The Same Way That It Is Losing Its Soul 

Historic lesbian bar The Lexington Club is being priced out of San Francisco's Mission neighborhood. The owner announced the impending closure yesterday, explaining that increased gentrification had driven rent prices upward while decreasing customer patronage. This means that we will soon live in a world in which S.F. has a World Series-level baseball team and zero lesbian bars. Is that even a world worth saving?


3. Belgian Chocolate Company Changing Its Name To Something Slightly Less Evocative Of Beheadings

After nine decades of business, the Belgian chocolate company Italo Suisse decided to change its name last year to something that would more easily stick in the minds of consumers. They ended up choosing Isis, which—as a cursory look through international headlines will show you—is a remarkably catchy name. Now, for some reason, they're changing it again. Come on, guys. Make up your minds!


4. Streaming Services Will Spend Nearly $7 Billion Next Year So You Can Watch Reruns Of 'Ice Road Truckers' Whenever You Like

Digital entertainment streaming services, such as Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime, will be spending $6.8 billion dollars next year to bring television shows and movies into the living rooms of their subscribers. That's kind of a staggering number to consider tonight when you're listlessly scrolling through your queue looking for something halfway decent to watch. 


5. The Koch Brothers Are Funding Pro-Pot Campaign Ads Because Politics Is Stupid

American Future Fund—a staunchly conservative political group funded in large part by billionaires Charles and David Koch—has been running some very silly pro-marijuana ads on Hulu that are intended to entice viewers in North Carolina to vote for libertarian Senate candidate Sean Haugh. The idea is apparently that these ads—which represent exactly what conservatives think liberal pot smokers think and act like—will siphon votes away from Democratic Sen. Kay Hagan so that the Republican Thom Tillis can win her seat. Politics!


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Air New Zealand has a 'Lord of the Rings'-inspired in-flight safety video.

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Sadly, there does not appear to be drink service on this eagle.

What's the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear somebody mention New Zealand? Maybe it's the folk comedy duo Flight of the Conchords. Maybe. Academy Award-winning actor Russell Crowe is a strong possibility. Except that you probably think that he's from Australia, don't you? (You probably do.) There's a non-zero percent chance that you think of the flightless/wingless kiwi bird. But that's not likely, because I don't think that even kiwis think of kiwis all that often.

Let's just cut to the chase: you think of The Lord of the Rings. It's fine. Everybody does. New Zealanders are well aware of this, and they're totally cool with it. In fact, I think they're kind of jazzed to be associated with hobbits, elves, orcs and massive preternatural spiders. Native-born Peter Jackson using their countryside as the real-world manifestation of J.R.R. Tolkein's Middle Earth was the greatest thing that ever happened to them, culturally or financially.

They've really gone all in. Just look at this in-flight safety video that Jackson's Weta Digital film company helped Air New Zealand produce:

Is this the greatest airplane safety video ever produced? It has to be. Consider this: not only did you just watch that video all the way through, but you're not even on an airplane.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)


Now everyone in Williamsburg is claiming they had Ebola, like, 3 years ago.

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⚡David Angelo⚡Fri, 24 Oct 2014 09:46:57 EDT

Now everyone in Williamsburg is claiming they had Ebola, like, 3 years ago.

Face it.

Email virus.

Catching on.

A woman got her wisdom teeth out and woke up confused about why she wasn't Nicki Minaj.

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Nicki Minajjskskshspshshspfhghspshffpsshpshppppshshs.

Meet Jayci Underwood. She just had her wisdom teeth out, which is a shame, because she was convinced she was being put under for a Nicki Minaj operation. You know, the operation where you're Nicki Minaj afterwards. I think Nicki Minaj had one of those. She also really likes the Ellen DeGeneres show, and why not? It's literally in her name. Ellen's generous.

With so many post-dental-surgery videos out there, and with several of them now revolving around shouting out different celebrities, with at least two having a direct emphasis on Ellen DeGeneres (which has totally worked at getting people on Ellen's show), there's some speculation that this might be a ploy to get on TV. To those doubters I say: you must take good care of your teeth because the stuff they use in those offices is bananas.

(bJohnny McNulty)

Already quarantined.

Every on-screen death in the "Star Wars" trilogy in under three minutes.

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Over 2 billion deaths served.

It has been almost half a century since the original Star Wars trilogy came out and established itself as one of the few movies you can watch with your kids that won't make you want to kill yourself (another round of Frozen, anyone?). Turns out you are sparing your death by watching over 2 billion others. If you chop all the death scenes from the original trilogy together (thank you, Digg), it looks less like a children's movie and more like a documentary about genocide, but fun!

Here is every on screen death, over two billion, set to some pop music. 

(by Myka Fox)


Orphaned fawns are joyfully released back into the wild where they belong.

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You can call me flower if you want to.

Five orphaned fawns were rescued at infancy and rehabilitated by the California Wildlife Center in Malibu, California, where they were prevented from "seeing human faces and forms." As such, the video was filmed "from behind a camouflage blind in the woods, by a volunteer."

Enjoy watching them as they cautiously emerge from CWC’s fawn enclosure.

If you want to help the CWC care for more bambies, you can adopt a fawn. They'll send you a picture of the fawn you have adopted as well as a plush toy, which is not quite the same thing as having one of these balletic creatures in your home, but at least the toy is allowed to see human faces and forms. 

(by Myka Fox)

True love is between a cat and his vegetable.

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Chock full of vitamin cuddle.

Many cats enjoy napping on warm radiators, comforters, or humans. This guy likes snuggling with salad. Do not try to turn his pillow into soup, or you'll get clawed.

(by Shira Rachel Danan)

Friday Afternoon Dance Party: Priests stop battling sin long enough to engage in a truly divine dance battle.

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Step Up 777: The Devout

Back in April, at a fundraiser for the Pontifical North American College in Rome, Rev. David Rider of Hyde Park, NY decided to liven up the event with a little bit of tap.

Rev. John Gibson of Milwaukee, WI saw Rider tearing up the floor and thought, "Oh, Hell heavens no."

Gibson took the stage waving his arms, shoeing away Rider and his steel-soled shoes so he could have some room to show him how they do it back in the Irish homeland.

As far as Rider was concerned, this wasn't over by a long shot. And thus was born the most badass priest-on-priest dance battle this side of purgatory.

Things really don't get going until about a minute in...

According to the Associated Press, many commenters chastised the holy men for dancing underneath a crucifix, to which Rider replied, "We would just refer them to the Bible, where the Lord tells us to live with joy."

O, snap!

(by Bob Powers)

Now THIS is a pothole.

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For just a tiny second, you think maybe that truck is about to take off like a rocket.

On the one hand, this is your standard Russian dash-cam video, a staple of the Internet. On the other hand, this is an exquisite piece of suspense cinema. We know from the title that the pothole is there. Over the course of 40 seconds, the tension inexorably builds. We know at some point the cars on screen will be affected by it, but we never see it. Even when it gobbles up its victims, you can't actually see the monster at work, except for little edges. 

It's like Stephen Spielberg took everything he learned about a scary villain from Jaws, and then took out the terrifying truck from his first movie, Duel, and made a new movie about a pothole. I didn't say it was as good as the other movies. Pretty good for an Internet video, though.

(by Johnny McNulty)

This yappy little dog plays dead whenever his nemesis picks him up.

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"I'm dead to you."

The little dog in this video appears to be suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder. One of his personas is a big-talking tough guy, fiercely loyal to his owner and ready to bite the head off of anyone who dares to approach him. The other personality is deceased. For some unexplained reason, that dog only appears when the guy dressed in overalls picks the dog up, and stays present until he puts the little guy back in his favorite chair. Then the yipey, growling badass returns. His condition would be sad, if it wasn't so funny.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

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