Motel
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Silicon Valley low.
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A dad forced his 10-year-old daughter to wear "age-defining" clothes as punishment for flirting online.
She doesn't look a day over 9½.
Kids. They grow up so fast. One day they're little girls asking you for help doing their fifth grade homework, and the next they're carrying on flirtatious online relationships with adult men. Sometimes it's literally the next day.
When Louisville, Kentucky father Kevin Jones discovered that his 10-year-old daughter was not only lying about her age on various social media sites, but that she that she claimed to have a boyfriend with whom she was in love—"which is completely against my rules!!!!" Jones explained—he decided that drastic measures were in order.
So, he bedecked her hair with barrettes befitting a girl of her young age, handed her a Disney princess backpack and forced her to wear a t-shirt stylishly emblazoned with her age and grade. Then he took pictures of his handiwork and uploaded them to her precious Internet, like so:
Surely, the saddest princess in all the realm.
So, is this an example of precautionary parenting, or a form of public humiliation? Is this girl learning a lesson, or enduring a punishment? Will she thank her dad for this one day, or hate him for all time?
I suspect the answer to all of the above is yes.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)
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TMZ
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Michael Jordan called Obama a "shitty golfer."
Space Slammed.
Just like that, Obama's legacy (as a golfer) is being called into question. In a recent interview with Back 9 Network's Ahmad Rashad, Michael Jordan was asked who would be on his golf dream team. At first, he included President Barack Obama. Then, he took it back, saying Obama was a "hack."
Rashad asked if Jordan was sure he wanted to condemn the President of the United States like that, and Jordan replied: "I never said he wasn't a great politician. I'm just saying he's a shitty golfer."
Pretty harsh, coming from someone for whom golf is his third-best sport. But that's what you get when you're a lame-duck president—no one feels the need to hold back. Wonder what Jordan thinks of Obama as a basketball player.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
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College student sinks 4 consecutive shots including one from half-court to win $10,000.
It's like looking in on somebody else's dream
Video of Gustavo Angel Tamayo from Bryan College just emerged of him knocking out four shots in a row to win a bunch of cash. Each shot looks like it was thrown with very little concern, and the ball hit the rim and bounced every time, but Tamayo told the Times Free Press that "a lot of concentration" was what it took to get the lay-up, free throw, 3-pointer, and half-court shots all through the hoop.
Trash talk his form all you want, but Tamayo is a soccer player, not a basketball player. He also had a broken finger on his left hand, and had to make all four shots in 30 seconds. Tamayo beat that clock by two seconds to walk away with $10,000.
He's a senior and has already paid off his college bill, so when asked what he was going to do with the money, Tamayo said, "Everyone wants a piece of the pie, so I guess I'm just going to hand out $1 bills."
Thanks! You can PayPal me my dollar at mykafox@gmail.com.
(by Myka Fox)
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A magician performed the Magic Spider trick and a woman wigged out. Literally.
Scared out of her hair.
Magic is all about deception. In the case of this particular trick, a woman was deceived about whether or not a "magic spider" would make a live appearance on her arm, and she wasn't happy about it. There are a lot of ways to describe how upset she became with the magician, but when a woman literally pulls off her wig and begins beating him with it while screaming, you kind of have to go with "wigged out." Sorry, but rules are rules.
In her defense, she told him not to do that. And then reminded him at least a dozen times.
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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Grand old time.
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10 hairy Halloween costumes that will allow you to keep your beard.
"We're going to need a bigger razor."(via)
To put up with the everyday hassle of maintaining a face full of hair, you really have to love having a beard. It's a way of life. Men with beards care way more about their facial hair than any holiday. Every Halloween they are faced with the challenge of coming up with a good costume that will allow them to keep the look they've spent months perfecting. Here are ten costume ideas that let you celebrate Halloween without having to shave.
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"Nacho Man" Randy Savage. (via)
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Dutch trick or treat. (via)
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Four Skor and a seven Kit Kats. (via)
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Silver and Tan Beard's Ghost. (via)
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In a pinch, you're only a dress away from the Bearded Lady. (via)
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Sharp costumed man. (via)
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This could be a Minnesota driver's license photo. (via)
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Also doubles as Count Chocula. (via)
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Wilson's sister Winnie. (via)
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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This is officially the loudest human burp known to man.
The guy in the lab jacket and party hat is either a real burp expert
or the best casting job I've ever seen.
Paul Hunn is the Burper King. You can tell he's the Burper King because a.) he owns theburperking.com b.) he burps really loud, and c.) the Guinness Book of World Records has officially recognized this as the loudest burp in recorded history.
The odd party you see in the background is the event that Guinness put together for their 2015 book release, which also happens to be their 60th anniversary. Check out the hashtag #gwr60 for more cool record-breaking videos.
You've come a long way, shiny book of weird things.
(by Johnny McNulty)
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Extreme weight loss photoshopping will make you feel like a jerk for bothering to go to the gym.
That red arrow is much thicker in real life.
In a world where some of us exist almost exclusively online, the old marketing adage that perception is reality is truer than ever. Real Retouch on YouTube shows just how extremely a person can bend perception with the circular touch of his photoshop wand.
The woman pictured above is a famous TV star in Japan, however she is virtually unknown to most of us here in the States. Real Retouch's work is so convincing, the only way I would have known which version of this woman was the real one is from the direction of the arrow. That, and the tiny bit of flesh between the strands of her earring that he couldn't quite remove. The change is so realistic, and so extreme, that it would be almost as honest to just replace her with a picture of a stranger.
Part exposé on the deception in advertising, part voyeuristic victory, the real fun comes in when Real Retouch has to make the tough decisions: from what part of her body will he construct her jawline, and what ear shape should he randomly give her?
Amazing. Is she really photoshopped, or is this video just photoshopped to look like that? What is reality? Who am I?
From now on, online, I am this woman.
(by Myka Fox)
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Someone remade 'Gone Girl' with nothing but cats.
Just follow the barf.
If you're one of the millions who saw the delightful celebration of marriage and scavenger hunts, "Gone Girl," you probably thought to yourself, "Pretty good, but it would be better if they were all cats and every word was a pun."
You're in luck! The Pet Collective has put together "Gone Purrl," and that title is far from the last groan-worthy instance of cat-themed word-play they've got going on. Please don't spend too much time hunting for a shot of Ben Catfleck's genitals. This is family fare.
(by Bob Powers)
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This is not the shirt you want to be wearing in your mugshot.
A look that says "I goofed."
(via Lee County Sheriff's Office)
When Micah Dailey left his house in Cape Coral, Florida on Tuesday, he probably did not plan on going to jail. You have to think that if he thought there was even a chance that he'd be arrested and charged with possession of no more than 20 grams of marijuana, he would've changed his shirt before heading out.
Monopoly: Florida Man Edition
Because, when you wind up posing for a mugshot wearing a Monopoly T-shirt that says, "Go directly to jail," you're not only going to hear about it from every cop in the precinct that night ("Hey, he just landed on Perp-walk!"), you can count on becoming a first-ballot Mugshot Hall of Famer. So, congrats, Micah! Your picture now belongs to the ages, among greats such as The Eye Shadow Thief, Meta Mugshot Guy, and, perhaps the greatest of all time, Crystal Metheney. Take a bow!
(by Jonathan Corbett)
Related: Man arrested for DUI probably really regrets his choice of t-shirt.
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Jon Stewart welcomes the Koch Brothers as Daily Show sponsors by fixing their ad for them.
Koch Is It!
Why on earth did the Koch Brothers assume that advertising during the Daily Show would be a good idea? They couldn't have assumed that they would walk into Jon Stewart's house and win over his audience with some slickly-edited stock video clips. And they're certainly not known for having a particularly thick-skinned philosophy for dealing with criticism from the media. So, poking this satirically adroit bear just seems kind of weird.
I don't know if something like this fantastic remix of their corporate ad is what they were shooting for, but it's certainly what they got:
It's always possible that they figured something like this would happen, and they just didn't care. I mean, they'll own a majority of both houses of Congress come Tuesday. They'll probably own the concept of humor by the 2022 midterms.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)
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A complete list of what's coming and going from Netlflix streaming in November.
October is almost over, which means it's time to start thinking about what half-assed Halloween costume you can throw together at the last minute. It also means you've got one day left to watch roughly 400 hours worth of streaming video on Netflix before dozens of titles vanish from their site. The good news is that all the movies you probably weren't going to watch anyway are being replaced by a brand new crop of films to clog up your queue for a while.
Only a handful of titles arrive on the first, and the rest are scattered throughout the month. Which is great news for anyone who hasn't seen the original sci-fi classic Total Recall, but frustrating for those of us who've been waiting patiently to privately stream the porn drama About Cherry ("Everything here is done badly."—NY Daily News).
Here are the titles arriving in November. No date means it's available on the 1st.
About Cherry (Nov. 30)
Altman (Nov. 4)
Artifact
Babes In Toyland
Bali Season 1
Beyond the Edge (Nov. 25)
Bill Cosby 77 (Nov. 27)
Bomb Girls Season 3 (Nov. 26)
Chelsea Peretti: One of the Greats (Nov 14)
Comedy Specials
Doc Martin Series 6 (Nov. 15)
Doug Benson: Doug Dynasty (Nov. 6)
Fading Gigolo (Nov. 5)
Happy Christmas (Nov. 23)
Helix Season 1 (Nov. 10)
Hell is for Heroes
Ida (Nov. 22)
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 9
Kingpin
La Bare (Nov. 12)
Lilyhammer Season 3 (Nov. 21)
Louder Than Words (Nov. 8)
Nebraska (Nov. 8)
Nikita Season 4 (Nov. 22)
Not Yet Begin the Flight (Nov. 11)
Portlandia Season 4
Quartet (Nov. 11)
Running from Crazy (Nov. 25)
Sabotage (Nov. 19)
Sinbad: The Fifth Voyage (Nov. 15)
Small Town Santa (Nov. 13)
Snowpiercer (Nov. 22)
Spike
The Grand Seduction (Nov. 30)
The One I Love (Nov. 29)
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (Nov. 3)
The Rocketeer
Total Recall
Trading Mom
Trailer Park Boys 3: Don’t Legalize it (Nov. 29)
Trailer Park Boys Live At The North Pole (Nov. 15)
TV Shows
VeggieTales in the House (Nov. 26)
Virunga (Nov. 7)
War Story (Nov. 25)
Workblood Season 2 (Nov. 15)
Snowpiecer is the big "get" on that list. Bill Cosby's new stand-up special will also have a lot of people talking. Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons. And how many seasons are they going to shoot of Lilyhammer before Netflix gets the message that the country has said no to Lilyhammer? More than three? Nice to see "TV Shows" made the list. Because who doesn't love TV shows?
Here are the titles that will no longer be available after October.
101 Dalmations (1996)
American Psycho (2000)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Apocalypse Now Redux (2001)
Balibo (2009) The Big Chill (1983)
Blown Away (1992)/
Bob the Builder (1999-2012)
Breezy (1973)
Brighton Beach Memoirs (1986)
Broadcast News (1987)
The Buddy Holly Story (1978)
Bullet Proof Monk (2003)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Candyman (1992)
Caveman (1981)
Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie (1980)
Cloak & Dagger (1984)
The Conqueror Worm (1968)
The Dogs of War (1980)
Elvis ’56 (1987)
The Escape Artist (1982)
Footloose (1984)
For a Few Dollars More (1965)
Fire in Babylon (2010)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
The Great Outdoors (1988)
Hammett (1982)
Hannibal (2001)
He Said, She Said (1991)
Heat Wave (2011)
Iceman (1984)
King Solomon’s Mines (1985)
Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987)
La Bamba (1987)
Les Miserables (1998)
The Ninth Gate (1999)
The Odessa File (1974)
One from the Heart (1982)
Orca: The Killer Whale (1977)
The Prince of Tides (1991)
A Raisin in the Sun (2008)
Red State (2011)
Say Anything (1989)
Serenity (2005)
Silent Running (1971)
Single White Female (1992)
Small, Beautifully Moving Parts (2011)
St. Elmo’s Fire (1985)
Starman (1984)
Steel Magnolias (1989) Tetro (2009)
Thelma & Louise (1991)
Thomas & Friends (2005-2012)
Tortilla Soup (2001)
Trees Lounge (1996)
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)
Up at the Villa (2000)
Vigilante Force (1976)
If you were planning on streaming many of these before they disappear, you'd better get the flu or just quit your job outright, because you're running out of time.
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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Turn down for this kid goat saying "what."
It's like a goat version of Sheila Broflovski.
In the butt. That, of course, is the answer to the question posed over and over by this kid goat, "what, what?" This kid belongs to Dusty Belew, the guy in the video who sounds exactly like a guy who owns a goat who can say a word.
There's also a Vine version if you'd just like to listen to the goat saying "what, what" forever and ever on loop.
What it is, goat. What it is.
(by Johnny McNulty)
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Hotter than ever.
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Sit down, be quiet, and watch this recreation of the 'Psycho' shower scene using nothing but pumpkins.
And it's actually kind of scary still.
Now we know where Gus Van Sant went wrong with his shot-for-shot Psycho remake. He used Vince Vaughn and Anne Heche instead of some squash. This stop-motion remake of the Psycho shower scene succeeds at not just being wildly creative, but actually creepy and eerie.
Brooklyn artist Yuliya Tsukerman explains the process on her website. It took her two weeks to carve the pumpkins, with three 16X9 cm frames rendered onto each.
(Via)
Check out how the pumpkin version matches up to the original via the YouTube Doubler.
(by Bob Powers)
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What's underneath.
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