Dave & Buster's upset Twitter with a joke about Mexicans that's almost as lame as Dave & Buster's.

November 18, 2014, 1:02 pm

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I hope their taco ingredients are fresher than their humor. (screengrab via Adweek)

When your company is just Chuck-E-Cheese with a liquor license and bouncers, no one is expecting pure class to emerge from your social media accounts. However, in 2014, a certain amount of not making jokes at the expense of minority groups is expected, even for Dave & Buster's. That memo, apparently, did not reach their social media department before they tweeted out this gem, which I presume had the whole office laughing (before apologizing and deleting the tweet).

We sincerely apologize for the tweet that went out today our intention was never to offend anyone please accept our apology

— Dave & Buster's (@DaveandBusters) November 18, 2014

I can't tell what's worse, the casual racism or the fact that it's LAAAAAME. I mean, the phrase "said no one ever" was even partly popularized on our parent site, Someecards (according to Know Your Meme), so we should know better than anyone that the phrase has been over and done with for a while now. Not only that, but people have made this exact joke many times. Many, many times. Hell, you can buy it as a t-shirt on Amazon (I'm not linking you there, go find it yourself). 

“@DaveandBusters: "I hate tacos" said no Juan ever #TacoTuesday#DaveandBusters” wow yall just said fuvk it Huh

— AfroSamurai (@NaijaNupe_) November 18, 2014

That is probably exactly what they said.

I mean, yes, casually making Mexicans the butt of jokes is worse than just making a really bad joke, but doing both? That's Dave & Buster's.

Of course, I don't see this affecting their core crowd of drunk people who wandered in after being asked to stop making a scene at a nicer establishment, like Chili's.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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Penny

November 18, 2014, 9:22 pm

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A brave guy enlisted Arnold Schwarzenegger to help with his marriage proposal.

November 18, 2014, 1:11 pm

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"See you at the reception, Richtah!"

Dean Goulding is a brave man. Not only did the British dude arrange a marriage proposal on stage in front of a large crowd, he enlisted the help of a guy who was most likely trying to have sex with his girlfriend. Because, based on available data, anytime Arnold Schwarzenegger is close enough to make physical contact with a women, there's at least a 50-50 chance of sex being involved.

Goulding, a physical trainer in the Royal Navy, was attending an event honoring Arnold in Leeds, England with his girlfriend Jessica Edding. During a live interview, Arnold invited the couple on stage. Before Goulding could even get down on one knee, Arnold took matters into his own hands, and demanded an immediate answer from Edding: "Let's hear it very loud from you first, I do." Whether out of love or intimidation, she dutifully repeated after Arnold. Once that little detail was cleared up, he allowed Dean to step in and finish the job.

It's a good thing Edding said "I do," because otherwise, things could've gotten awkward. Arnold isn't the kind of guy who likes hearing "no." Also, if she turned the guy down, it would mean she was technically available, at which point Arnold would've stepped in and closed his own deal.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Germans outsmart neo-Nazis by making them unwittingly march against their own cause.

November 18, 2014, 1:15 pm

≫ Next: Oxford Dictionaries' Word of the Year for 2014 is "vape."

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If you've ever talked to a German, you'd know many are still very sensitive and guilty about the Holocaust. 

Thats why it's especially frustrating for the people of the small town of Wunsiedel, in Bavaria, when neo-nazis come marching through there every year to the former grave site of Hitler's right hand man, Rudolph Hess.

Every year, neo-Nazis stroll through their town in support of the Third Reich, and this year organizers for Rechts gegen Rechts (Right against Right) have brilliantly come up with a plan: turn the pilgrimage into a walk-a-thon supporting anti-fascist charity EXIT Deutschland, which directly helps people safely leave the neo-Nazi party. 

For every meter the fascists walk, Right against Right has gotten local residents and businesses to support a pledge of 10€ ($12.50). The walkers didn't know that this pledge had been made until their walk began, when they found signs along their route telling them exactly how much money they were earning against their cause with every step. 

Thanks, buddies!

By the time they reached the grave site, the neo-Nazis had earned $12,500 toward a charity that helped people leave the neo-Nazis. The event has since been dubbed Germany's “most involuntary walkathon.”

And if they don't like it, they could just stop marching. 

Thanks for all the donations, neo-Nazis!

(by Myka Fox)

Oxford Dictionaries' Word of the Year for 2014 is "vape."

November 18, 2014, 1:17 pm

≫ Next: "Tiny Hamster" eats a tiny Thanksgiving with his tiny friends, cooked by a stressed-out giant chef.

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Now every room can become a steam room.(via Getty)

Sorry, "cray." Better luck next year, "bae" and "slacktivism." You're all trendy enough to have been worthy contenders, but not nearly as annoyingly popular as "vape," which has been named Word of the Year for 2014 by Oxford Dictionaries.

Here's how Oxford defines the word:

vape, verb
Inhale and exhale the vapour produced by an electronic cigarette or similar device

As in, "I wish that D-bag would vape somewhere else."

vape, noun
An electronic cigarette or similar device; an act of inhaling and exhaling the vapour produced by an electronic cigarette or similar device

As in, "Is my vape annoying you? Sorry, but I'm not breaking any laws. If you don't like my vape, breastfeed your baby somewhere else!"

According to Oxford research, use of the word has doubled in the past year. Happy Place research has concluded the word mostly comes up between bong rips in college dorm rooms, and by late-night TV viewers wondering what the hell happened to Stephen Dorff.

What started as a healthier alternative to cigarettes and bong loads has now become a multi-million dollar industry that continues to grow. And now that it's gone legit, there's no sign of it slowing down any time soon.

So, thanks for nothing, Oxford Dictionaries!

And congratulations to stoners everywhere, as well as those who have given up smoking but are still so hopelessly addicted to nicotine they're willing to annoy everyone around them with their steamy breath. You're all winners!

(by Jonathan Corbett)

"Tiny Hamster" eats a tiny Thanksgiving with his tiny friends, cooked by a stressed-out giant chef.

November 18, 2014, 1:33 pm

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Frankly, the mouse (2nd from left) wore the hat best, and Bunny could skip a feast or two.

I'm only going to include a tiny amount of copy today, because if you don't know Tiny Hamster at this point, you are spending a tiny amount of time on the Internet. Tiny Hamster has been a tiny sensation since tiny April now, and even though he's had tiny group meals with his tiny friends before, this is his first big holiday meal with guests. As always, his humongous human chef is terrified and under an enormous amount of pressure. I've begun to think that this is because we've never seen the takes where he messes up the tiny dinner and Tiny Hamster gives him 1,000 tiny lashes with a tiny whip. Seriously, Tiny Hamster is very demanding.

In case you thought I wasn't serious about how you should already know Tiny Hamster:

Behold the "Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos" series premiere.

Tiny Hamster takes on Kobayashi in a hot dog eating contest.

A tiny hedgehog had a tiny birthday party with tiny cakes for his tiny hamster friends.

This tiny hamster knows the correct way to eat a tiny piece of pizza.

Get with the tiny times, people.

(by Johnny McNulty)

This kid deserves an "A" for trying to make up for not writing a long-enough essay.

November 18, 2014, 2:03 pm

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"AP Language / And Composition" - I see what you did there. (via reddituser213)

We've all been there: you were assigned a certain number pages for your essay, and there is just no way you're going to make it. It could be because you're much more elegant with your language than your classmates, but it's probably because you're lazy. In any case, you're going to have to fluff out those lines to get this document over three pages, and fast. Everyone thinks they invented this stuff (just look at the comments when this image was posted on reddit to see a number of people who literally think they invented this stuff), but really, there are only so many tricks in the book. Make all the periods in the document a slightly larger font size (hard to notice and increases the space between lines), move those margins in just a little bit (this was easier in the days when converting a document from PC to Mac would actually screw it up - since I had a PC and my school had Macs, I would wait to print until school and then use this one a lot), experiment with very similar but slightly larger fonts, adjusting the spacing between letters, all sorts of fun tricks. You can only do each one a tiny bit, however, or any attentive teacher with a ruler (yes, a ruler) would catch you.

Then, there's what this kid did (the image was posted by redditor reddituser213, although there's no proof that it's the same person). I must admit, I've tried variants on this, but I've never had the sheer gall to turn my name/date/teacher corner into a full-fledged bio. Congratulations, 18-year-old Greg NoLastName. You've won barely doing your homework for 2014. Good luck in life, I see a lot of management potential in you.

(by Johnny McNulty)

A man refused to stop drinking for even a second as the cafe around him erupted into violent madness.

November 18, 2014, 3:06 pm

≫ Next: Watch two Norwegian fisherman get videobombed by six humpback whales.

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"I wish that angry mob would keep it down a bit."

Don't you just hate it when you're sitting in a restaurant with a friend, enjoying a drink, when suddenly a dozen or so masked men with weapons come in and start pushing people around and then everybody else in the restaurant gets up to begin brawling and everything quickly descends into utter chaos?

Sure, it's a minor annoyance—as the Russian guy in the center of this video can attest—but it's an annoyance none the less.

Good thing nobody set the place on fire. This guy might have had to get up.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

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Watch two Norwegian fisherman get videobombed by six humpback whales.

November 18, 2014, 4:21 pm

≫ Next: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi are a cuter, more Christmassy version of Kim Kardashian's Paper cover for their holiday cards.

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Splash mob!

These two Norwegian guys were boating on a fjord—a long, narrow inlet with steep sides (thanks, Wikipedia!)—and got videobombed by six humpback whales. What's nearly as amazing as the sight of six massive humpbacks popping out of the water is how cool these two guys are as it's happening. The place is called Kvaløya, which translates to Whale Island, so this probably isn't their first encounter with whales. Still, when their boat is suddenly surrounded by 200 tons of mammal, despite some nervous laughter and what sound like the Norwegian equivalent of "dayam, bro," the two remain surprisingly calm and completely fjord focused*.

*sorry

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi are a cuter, more Christmassy version of Kim Kardashian's Paper cover for their holiday cards.

November 18, 2014, 4:49 pm

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Thought it was Chanukah that's about oil.

Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi broke the Internet this week.

On her show Monday, Ellen said that she and Portia aren't quite sure what their holiday cards are going to look like yet, but they have considered one timely option. Then she revealed the card above that shows the women's heads photoshopped onto Kim Kardashian's (photoshopped) body from her Paper cover. Two big red bows cover up their bums, making the card not only amusing, but downright tasteful.

I'd put that on my fridge. 

(by Shira Rachel Danan)

May-November Romance

November 18, 2014, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Some dolphins had fun watching a human do tricks for them for a change.

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Some dolphins had fun watching a human do tricks for them for a change.

November 18, 2014, 5:23 pm

≫ Next: In plain sight.

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"No, seriously, how did you do that?"

Aquarium dolphins have to put up with a lot of crap over the course of a day. You've got people knocking on the sides of their tank. Then you've got kids pressing their dirty, sticky faces up against the glass. And privacy—forget it. Whatever you gotta do, you're doing it in front of two dozen slack-jawed tourists.

So, it's nice to see them enjoying themselves for a change. When a circus theater company got booked to perform at Sea World Orlando, one tumbler really caught the eye of a certain curious cetacean:

I've got to say, that's pretty cool. I would love to go home at the end of a day and be able to say, "I entertained a dolphin today." Unless they figure out a way to make the Internet waterproof, I'll probably just have to dream.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

In plain sight.

November 19, 2014, 5:00 am

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Craigslist Missed Connections that we pray never lead to a connection.

November 19, 2014, 5:15 am

≫ Next: What people in your office are actually thankful for this year.

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There should be a "forward to your investigating police officer" button on CL.(Via)

Sometimes a missed connection ad seems to be there solely to show you how close you came to death, or worse, a hookup or relationship with a truly unhinged person. Look through these ads detailing some terrifying near-misses, and if you recognize yourself in any of them, thank your lucky stars you got away alive.

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What you were wearing? A flimsy gown rolled up above your waist?(Via)

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Need more details. What kind of cat food? (Via)

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Aggressive nipping? Like, in a threatening way? Or just an "invading my space" way? (Via)

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Wouldn't it be great if this was the same woman from the OB/GYN? (Via)

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You both love name-brand fashion at low prices. You were made for each other.

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Had no idea there was more than one brand of pork rinds. (Via)
(click image to enlarge)

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To summarize. You: Neck veins. Me: Enjoys neck veins.

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He's not going to want to have sex with you if you make him catch a cold.

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Updated 1/22/14:

Everyone has their own definition of "funny." Especially when it comes to smells.

 

I'm sure she remembers your fingertip when it grazed the digital pixelation of her face.

 

Some fish are the catch of the day. For her, it was the catch of a lifetime.
(click image to enlarge)

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The most wonderful time of the year (for pervs).

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You call him a BabyDaddy. She calls him a FucktrophyDaddy. Potato, potahto.
(click image to enlarge)

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Dude, find her! You'll never find someone with lower standards!
(click image to enlarge)

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Updated 9/30/13:

Did she perhaps shout, "I am calling the police?" If so, it's love.

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If this is your type a of woman, you might really just be looking for a pet.

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Just had to be in jail for a few hours. We all need our alone time.
(click image to enlarge)

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It's hard to find a edumacated man who understands horemones. Keeper!

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Give him a chance. Some of those grandes can cost like seventeen bucks.
(click image to enlarge)

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If there was ever an incentive to turn that frown upside down, it's not this.

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Updated 6/28/13:

OMG is this the guy we pooped on at the diner on Sansom last week?

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I want to recycle our encounter and turn it into 85% post-consumer love.
(click image to enlarge)

 

Just click to enlarge. It's worth it.
(click image to enlarge)

 

How many pie-related experiences does he think she's had?

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You clearly have a thing for men with snot-covered hands.
(click image to enlarge)

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We're pretty sure we know who this is about. And we agree.
(click image to enlarge)

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We can work this out if you relax your rules about not throwing fruit at the elderly.
(click image to enlarge)

 

Updated 5/29/13:

I could fart and you could laugh for the rest of our lives.

   .

If you want to be with the kind of guy who sneaks pics of chicks' toes, I'm your man.

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Was it Meghan? Sorry, I'm a little hard of hearing.

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But now that I've apologized, maybe you're into that sort of thing?
(click image to enlarge)

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Girl, your fine ass is just made for sexual harassment training.

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Save this one for the scrapbook for your grandchildren!
(click image to enlarge)

Updated 4/29/13:

Maybe see you at the reading of the will?

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Physical description: he had hair, empty eyeballs, and a nose.

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A man who can make explosives out of his mullet is truly innovative.

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Seeking: Policeman. Must be able to duck. 

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Always great to find someone who shares your interests/infections.

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Dark prince disciples always fall for the flame-haired alabaster crystal guardians.

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Updated 3/25/13:

Fake. The "I vomited on your shoes" thing is used in every Nicholas Sparks novel.

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How could she leave him? He had a logo and everything!

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Brenda, everyone at that library would like you to take him back.
(click image to enlarge)

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Can we get this guy and the farting "We shared a moment" girl together?
(click image to enlarge)

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She only put you in jail because she wanted to know where that pretty face was at all times.
(click image to enlarge)

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Nope. Want to go peeing some time?

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If you were at a store recently and you had an ass, somebody loves you.

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Updated 1/30/13:

You never know when you're going to be the victim of unlawful entry...in your heart. 

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Ew, he got taller? Dealbreaker.

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We want these people to throw us in their trunk and take us on a cross-country crime spree. 

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Would have been a ten but the landing was actually too sticky.

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We don't understand what happened, but we're excited that kittens are using Craigslist now.
 

Updated 1/3/13:

Dear God. Did...did he kill her with his fart?

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Fork-geddaboudit!

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Um, drunk as she was, she should still avoid responding to an ad from a guy who naps on train platforms.

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Updated 12/03/12:

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Updated 9/14/12:

 

 

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Updated 8/9/12:

 

 

  

 

  

 

 

 

 

What people in your office are actually thankful for this year.

November 19, 2014, 7:37 am

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This American Life

November 19, 2014, 9:25 pm

≫ Next: 'Tis the season.

≪ Previous: What people in your office are actually thankful for this year.

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'Tis the season.

November 19, 2014, 8:00 am

≫ Next: Records lows.

≪ Previous: This American Life

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Records lows.

November 19, 2014, 8:30 am

≫ Next: Ballet

≪ Previous: 'Tis the season.

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Ballet

November 19, 2014, 9:25 pm

≫ Next: The remake of 1984's 'Do They Know It's Christmas' just became the fastest selling single of 2014.

≪ Previous: Records lows.

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The remake of 1984's 'Do They Know It's Christmas' just became the fastest selling single of 2014.

November 19, 2014, 9:00 am

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Do they know it's not even Thanksgiving yet?

Bob Geldof got the Band Aid back together for another cause, and their remake of the 1984 charity single Do They Know It's Christmas is the fastest selling single of 2014. According to the Official Charts Company, the song has sold over 206,000 copies in its first week of release.

That's a pretty impressive number when you consider that most music these days is either streamed or stolen. It's even more impressive when you factor in that it's a Christmas song about Ebola. And not even an original one. It's pretty much a straight cover of the first song—written for famine relief—with a few of the lyrics reworked into the Ebola theme.

Many Americans won't recognize the crop of new British pops stars like Sam Smith, Ellie Goulding and a handful of generic-looking bearded dudes. But Chris Martin and Seal are there, along with Bono, who uses the opportunity to change the famously dickish-sounding "Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you" into "Well tonight we're reaching out, and touching you." Because it's Bono, people will still find a reason to be upset about it, but it's an improvement, and his heart's in the right place.

The song will likely annoy as many as the those who appreciate it. Whenever a group of rich celebrities ask regular folks to donate money, it usually raises more skepticism than cash.

But even if the song gets a lot of people complaining, they'll be indirectly complaining about Ebola, which is kind of the point.

(by Jonathan Corbett)