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When technical difficulties prevented a girl from finishing the U.S. national anthem, this Canadian crowd stepped up.

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Oh, Canada.

The United States and Canada don't always see eye to eye, or "eh" to "eh." But when the chips are down, Americans know they can always count on Canada to have our back.

That fact was on full display in Toronto Tuesday night, when the mic cut out while a girl was singing the U.S. national anthem at the start of a Maple Leafs' game. Instead of mocking the girl with laughter or a group chant of "anthem fail!", the Canadian crowd stepped up and finished the song without missing a beat. 

When the song was over, the crowd continued with a rousing rendition of their own anthem, "O Canada." You like to think any Americans in the crowd returned the favor by singing along. Even if they didn't know the words.

(by Jonathan Corbett)


Angry Ram enters into a never-ending battle with a punching bag.

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The bag vs. the b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.

I kind of feel like this is pretty obvious, but I'll tell you anyway, just in case: if you should happen upon Angry Ram on the street in the course of your day, do not get in Angry Ram's way. Angry Ram will not hesitate to ram your ass down.

We've already seen Angry Ram knock a drone right out of the sky. We've seen Angry Ram take out his immense anger on a motorcycle. We've seen Angry Ram go after a 6-ton backhoe like it was a 5-ton backhoe. 

Now we see how Angry Ram hones his ramming power into an intense ball of anger with a foe that can never be knocked down and always comes back for more:

Oh, Angry Ram. Whatever will you angrily ram next?

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

No glove, much love.

Buffalo Bills offer free tickets (plus $10/hr) to anyone willing to help them shovel out the stadium.

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Also acceptable: building an 80-ft-high snow referee.
(via)

In case you hadn't heard (or seen the many insane photos), Buffalo, NY and the surrounding region got swamped with multiple feet of lake-effect snow (which replaces "polar vortex" as the winter buzzword of the season) yesterday and last night. Nevertheless, their hometown NFL team, the Buffalo Bills, refuse to let something as silly as thousands of tons of frozen water covering Ralph Wilson Stadium (known as The Ralph) stop them from playing this Sunday at 1pm against the New York Jets.

Not when they have an invaluable resource at their disposal: thousands of snow-bound Buffalonians who really, really need something to entertain them this weekend.

That's right, if you live in the Buffalo area, you can sit outside in this frozen hellscape and enjoy a rousing game of pigskin against in-state rivals, for free, if you do your part and help scrape out this place for $10/hr.

Well, what do you think? This is a pretty good deal if you need cash, love football, and are naturally very warm (perhaps you have a layer of insulation you could work off while shoveling). Otherwise, I'd be interested in watching a webcam of people doing this from a warm room. But still, I've got to hand it to the team and civic spirit of Buffalo and their Bills. If I were the Jets, I'd be very wary of a crowd that just days before were all wielding shovels in unity. 

(by Johnny McNulty)

8 hour flu.

This woman's impressions of celebrities stuck in traffic are pretty spot-on.

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Her Kim Kardashian is so perfect, it's like being irritated by the real thing.

What to do when you want to do a lot of celebrity impressions, but since you live in Southern California you end up stuck in traffic all day? Comedian and actress Lauren O'Brien decided to slam two greats tastes that taste great together and compile these very convincing impressions of celebrities stuck in traffic.

Celebrities, they get stuck in traffic just like us! (Except they don't. Everyone knows about the "secret" freeway for A-listers and senior Illuminati council members).

(by Bob Powers)

18 times when people found penises in their food.

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Circumcise this ham all you want, it is still not kosher. (Via)

Sometimes your food is just food. Other times, your food contains a not-so-subtle subliminal phallic message. Dicks. 

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I'll pass on this un-glazed dough stick. (Via

Are they doing this on purpose? Are the dong-ing them with intent?


I could have sworn I asked for no froth. (Via

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Hold it right there. (Via)

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Oh. "Jerkin' your gherkin." I get it. (Via)

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The seeds are anatomically correct. (Via

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I'd say "let's blow this popsicle stand," but I'm detecting Paddle-Pop Simplex II. (Via)

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This is what hot dogs look like in Europe. (Via)

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The shape in this teabag. All teabag jokes implied. (Via)

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Bonus vulva clementines. (Via)

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I demand to know the source of this "buttermilk." (Via)

I made this post while at work. I hope you are looking at them while at work. Screw the man!

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More like cock-tenders, amirite? (Via)

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Modeled after the leaning tower of penis. (Via)

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I prefer dark chocolate. (Via)

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That bread, dough. (Via)

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I can Haaz avocado? (Via)

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I hope we've all learned our lesson on this one. (Via)

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Leave the gun, take the... you know what... leave the cannoli too. (Via

Thanks to the subreddit r/mildlypenis (that is a thing that exists), you can find many other examples of penises in your food, in your nature, and in your cracked iPhone screens

Yes, my parents are proud of me. No, they don't know I did this. 

(by Myka Fox)

Jay Leno surprising a wounded soldier with a $40,000 car makes for pretty sweet television.

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I prefer the way Dave gives out cars. 

Jay Leno is a divisive figure. Some people will never forgive him for the way he handled his ugly divorce from late night television. While others remember him fondly as the guy who told jokes while they fell asleep. Regardless of your opinion of Jay, it's impossible to knock someone for digging into their own pocket to give a wounded U.S. soldier a 2015 Dodge SRT Hellcat. Even a guy who may own five of them.

Jay presented the $40,000 ride to Cpl. Ethan Laberge during the Today Show's "Shine A Light" series. Laberge was wounded so severely while serving in Afghanistan that the list of his injuries had to be crammed into a montage. Put simply, he's a guy in need of a few uplifting moments in his life, and Jay delivered at least one of them in a big way.

Laberge will need a lot of help in the coming years. Specifically, in the form of medical assistance. But as Jay put it, "that can be like getting socks for Christmas," so he decided to surprise him with something a little more fun.

It's a sweet segment. The soldier get a new car. Jay gets some good press. The Today Show gets an uplifting segment, and you get to read a celebrity story that has nothing to do with Kim Kardashian's ass.

(by Jonathan Corbett)


Pompeii

Undisputed.

Ken Burns

Two Australian dudes narrate the insane experience of hitting the jackpot on a Japanese slot machine.

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At this point, I wouldn't have been surprised if the machine bestowed powers directly upon the winner via a beam of energy.

Most of us have played a slot machine or a coin arcade like this one before, or even pinball or some other game where the odds of winning, really winning, are basically nil. We enjoy the flashing lights and the machine's polite pretenses of almost letting us win, and then we go home with a lot less coin than we began the night. I bet many of you out there can remember one time when you saw someone win a half-jackpot or something, and it probably seemed pretty crazy. I've never seen someone win a full jackpot though, especially not on one of these kinds of coin-rack games, which I usually avoid as being impossible. I've definitely never seen someone win one in Japan, and anything in Japan automatically gets a x3 bonus to crazy. 


At some point, physical balls start emerging from the machine to do things on their own.

Still, that's what happened to these very determined Australian boys who clearly spent way too much time in a Japanese arcade recently. The video, posted to their YouTube channel maxmoefoetwo, is a few minutes long, but it's worth it—the game keeps getting crazier. I was shocked because, as one of the kids points out, few people have probably actually seen this, but 90% of the work that went into this machine seems to have gone into its elaborate jackpot sequences, which put the "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding" of your average US game to shame. The kids clarified that the jackpot number was in arcade tokens, which are worth much more than their equivalent number in yen. I don't know exactly how much their coins were redeemable for in prizes, but since 5,000 yen is about forty-two bucks, I think its safe to say they're taking home a lot, lot more than that in cheap electronics and huge dolls.

(Skip to about 2:55 for the crazy parade)

I won a few hundred dollars at a slot machine once. I didn't get a Japanese girl applauding me (I was on my honeymoon, though, so I guess I shouldn't have). All I got were a bunch of sullen gambling addicts staring at me and mouthing "congratulations" while thinking "he's a plant the casino put here to convince us wins happen." Considering the casino inevitably convinced me to give it back in one form or another, I wish I had gotten to watch this amazing machine instead, because at least then I'd have known it could never get any better, and gone home.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Angry young ping pong player dumps the ref on his ass after losing at ping pong.

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Game, set, match, assault!

Ping pong has a new bad boy! Or maybe its first bad boy. I don't follow the sport, but I'm definitely more intrigued after watching this clip of a young Russian kid dumping the referee on his ass after losing a match.

The Ivan Drago of table tennis whiffs pretty badly on the last point, so his anger must have stemmed from an earlier incident. It also could be the result of anabolic steroids, because this looks like classic roid rage! After the ref gets up, he approaches the sore loser before deciding against it. Even the parents seem intimidated by him. If you're a fan of ping pong, violence, or WTF videos out of Russia, this kid is one to watch.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Carry on.

Holiday jeer.


A guy has been putting up these weirdly funny "Missing" and "Wanted" posters all over New York City.

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Should never have taken it off its leash.(via SaenzSigns)

If you've been walking around New York City lately, you may have noticed some unusual "Lost" and "Free" posters on telephone poles, the sides of buildings, and even the ground. 


(via SaenzSigns)


(via SaenzSigns)

Instead of letting you know about a missing pet or piece of jewelry, one of these signs reports the loss of a "Set of House Keys" with an exact address and the time the owner is usually out. A "Wanted" sign specifies that a band's desired prog rock drummer must be able to play "Boom Tis Tis Boom Tis Tis Boom," "Ticka Tocka Ticka Tocka" and "Da dum da dum dum dum da dum." 


(via SaenzSigns)


(via SaenzSigns)

These mysterious public jokes are the project of NYC-based comedian Jason Saenz. Asked what inspired the project, which he calls Saenz Signs, Saenz said, "I love comedy/art that's just out there. That's in the universe with no explanation or set up. Like 'Where the hell did this come from?'"


(via SaenzSigns)

You can see a bunch more of Saenz Signs on Tumblr.

(by Shira Rachel Danan)

Muffler problem.

Lewis Black vs. Black Friday on 'The Daily Show.'

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My admonishment finger is shaking in anticipation.

When a news story falls through the cracks, Jon Stewart has told us for 15 years now, Lewis Black catches it. He does so less and less often these days, but "Back In Black" is still the Daily Show segment I get most excited about. Last night, Black dissected and dismantled the practice of (and media baloney around) Black Friday, a cultural institution we all loathe, yet we have no idea how to solve. 

Let's be honest, as much as the plight of workers forced to spend Thanksgiving helping angry shoppers sucks, more than a few of us would still take that over family time. Why don't they just set up a system whereby Americans who hate their families take over all the stores on Thanksgiving? What could go wrong, unless the family you're avoiding shows up, and you have to help them buy a big screen?

(by Johnny McNulty)

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - November 20, 2014

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1. Mike Nichols Is Creating Classic Films And Comedy Sketches With The Angels Now

Mike Nichols—who has directed so many classic films that there's not room to even begin listing them here—died of a heart attack last night at the age of 83. It seems redundant to include a clip of one of his movies here, since you probably have most of them memorized, so here's a sketch from his days performing comedy as one half of Nichols & May: 


2. Sen. Jim Webb Launches Exploratory Committee To Look Into Losing 2016 Primary To Hillary Clinton

Virginia's former senator Jim Webb is launching a presidential exploratory committee, according to Politico. This officially makes him the first high profile Democratic politician to formally express an interest in getting his ass handed to him by Hillary Clinton and then taking a spot on the ticket as V.P. 


3. Hollywood Looking To Adapt Groundbreaking True Crime Podcast Into Predictable Thriller Probably Starring Jeremy Renner

The This American Life spin-off podcast Serial—which tells the slowly unfolding story of a reporter seeking to unravel the mysteries surrounding a 15-year-old murder case—has become a cultural phenomenon. As such, Hollywood producers are apparently considering if they can possibly procure the Internet program's name, change all the main characters to white people and pump out a thriller that can be in theaters in time for Christmas of 2016.


4. Utah To Finally Enter 18th Century, Begin Executing Prisoners By Firing Squad

The primitive desert community known as "Utah" is seeking to legalize the firing squad as a state-sanctioned form of capital punishment. "It's an instant death," state representative Paul Ray said of the innovative new way of killing people. "A lot of these folks are dead before they even hear the gun."


5. 'Text Neck' Is An Obnoxious New Term For A Medical Condition Caused By Your Obnoxious Phone Habits

In addition to alienating friends and accidentally walking into the paths of city buses, people have been allowing cell phones to ruin their lives in a way we're only just now discovering. A new medical study being published in the journal Surgical Technology International claims that people are causing severe damage to their spines by continually staring down at their phones. "It is an epidemic or, at least, it’s very common," a medical expert explained. "Just look around you, everyone has their heads down."


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Winter

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