Let it go. And go. And go.

Don't be fooled by the dinosaur onesie, this little boy is all about Frozen. So much so, that it looks like his parents may have given the doll that sings 'Let it Go' to the wrong kid. Because he can't get enough of it. The problem for him is that the doll only sings for a few seconds at a time when the blue button is pushed, which allows his sister to control him like a dancing puppet. While the doll is singing, life is good. When the music stops, he goes into a deep funk that can only be lifted by another round of 'Let it Go.'

What is it about this song? It's as if scientists at Disney have created a musical formula that taps into children's brains. Sure, they know how to write catchy tunes, and their movies provide parents with precious hours of sanity. But while parents are cooking dinner and napping, another generation of kids are being programmed to turn their will over to the dark forces running the Magic Kingdom. And based on the video evidence, most parents are perfectly fine with that deal.

1. Refs' Terrible Call Makes It Slightly Easier For Cowboys To Knock Lions Out Of Playoffs

The Dallas Cowboys caught a big break yesterday in a wild card playoff game when a flag for flagrant pass interference was inexplicably rescinded by the referees, keeping the Detroit Lions from receiving a sorely needed first down and many yards. They then received a whole bunch more big breaks as the Lions proceeded to do no good for themselves for the rest of the game.

Congrats to the Dallas Cowboys and the refs on beating the Detroit Lions
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) January 5, 2015

2. Sarah Palin Defends Standing On Dogs As A Lifestyle Choice

After conservative icon and public relations genius Sarah Palin made the wise decision to share a photo of her six-year-old son Trig standing on top of the family dog as though he were a foot stool on Facebook last week, she started to get a little blowback from fans, non-fans and PETA. She thoughtfully responded by pointing out that liberals are stupid and Barack Obama eats dogs. Check and mate, critics.

Photo Sarah Palin posted of son standing on a dog is not really animal cruelty, it's more a case of human douchebaggery.
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) January 2, 2015

3. UAE Airline Finds Innovative Way To Make Air Travel Even More Nightmarish

The United Arab Emirates-based airline Etihad Airways reportedly kept a plane full of passengers trapped onboard while the aircraft was parked on the tarmac for 12 hours without food while they waited for weather conditions to improve this weekend. "They kept telling us that we were going to leave, you know 15 minutes from now, 20 minutes from now, 30 minutes from now, for 12 hours," one passenger later explained to The Guardian. Officials from every other airline are currently studying this incident with the hope of replicating it the next time you have to fly to your in-laws'.

One nice thing when you have to wait on the Tarmac for a while they make it a toasty 170 degrees.
— x_ (@cornlog) November 23, 2014

4. Dr. Oz To Bring His Discredited Medical Advice To Magazine Stands

Television physician Dr. Mehmet Oz is taking the next logical step after a scientific study showed that approximately half of the advice he dispenses is utter nonsense: he's expanding his audience. His new magazine, Dr. Oz The Good Life, should be available for your gullible family members to start buying sometime in the upcoming months.

I informed my mom that Dr. Oz is full of shit and inadvertently sent her world spinning out of control.
— Shane Mauss (@shanecomedy) July 30, 2014

5. Oklahoma Might Make Hoodies Illegal In Effort To Make Oklahoma More Ridiculous

Lawmakers from Oklahoma are considering amending an old law intended to dissuade Ku Klux Klan members from committing hate crimes while wearing hoods to make it illegal for people (read as: black people) to wear hoodies in public. Exceptions to the law would include religious garb, halloween costumes and the fashion choices of people whom they don't feel like harassing.

I went on one date years ago where at one point we were just talking about the various hoodies we both own. I want that magic back.
— Lenny (@lennyburnham) January 4, 2015

"You know who was the original must-have new pet?! ME! DOG! You'll never replace us!!"

Just think of how freaked out this dog must be. Furbies came out in 1998. That was 16 years ago. Do you know how many dogs live to be 16? Not a majority of them (sorry, everyone). This would be like a young human coming home to find that a singing telegram girl was at their door. What the hell is up with that? Who still sends telegrams, let alone novelty telegrams? What is going on? Am I in a time machine? Am I trapped in a time loop? WILL NOONE STOP THIS ANACHRONISTIC MADNESS????

Or, maybe he finds it creepy for the same reason the rest of us did: it tries to be alive, and it is not. It is wrong, and it must die. It has already lived 15 years too long.

Looks like this kid earned his black belt the hard way.

It's an exciting time to be a cop! Apparently, Floridians who want to beat their kids to the extent of the law can now do so by calling the cops to supervise their "parenting."

Afraid that he might go too far and get in trouble, Florida's Dad-of-the-Year called the sheriff's office to send someone out to oversee him paddle his 12-year-old daughter. She had gotten into a "heated argument" with her sister, and you know what they say, "if they heat, they must be beat."

"It's within statute for them to discipline their children, and spank them. ... You are entitled to paddle your child, whether you use you hands, you use a belt, you use a paddle. Within reason, as long as you're paddlin' the buttocks," undersheriff Noel Stephen told WLWT over the phone from what sounded like the MIR space station.

So, to make sure the paddlin' was kosher, a sheriff's deputy drove around to the Okeechobee dad's house and trained his eyes on the man's pre-teen daughter's ass. When the lesson learnin' was over, the deputy wrote up a report, and then drove away.

This isn't a new thing, either. The undersheriff has personally lent his gaze to 12 such disciplinary events.

Stephen explained that the sheriff's office has been willing to help out in these instances, but much like a massage parlor (wink wink), "it's definitely not something we advertise to do." He then went on to say that his team will only watch a good paddlin' if they don't have something better going on.

One unnamed woman WLTV found standing on the street doesn't seem to think there could be anything better do to. The woman came to the defense of corporal punishment, saying, "Look at the kids these days, most of them are in prison. A little bit of, you know, whoopin', wouldn't hurt nobody."

Okie-dokie.

No word on what, if any, punishment was received by the more favored daughter.

1. Can we have the entire season be nothing but Lord Grantham being turned down for bullshit committee chairs and ribbon cutting ceremonies and whatever else he pretends is a job?

No one asked you because you're the Donald Trump of British bluebloods. Except at least Trump went bankrupt over and over again on fun stuff like casinos. You sunk everything into a Canadian railroad, like anyone in Canada has any need to get to any other part of Canada. Even your grandkid can't muster any respect for you.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass, Donk.

Let's keep this going. He should be constantly passed over for stuff in favor of his servants. Have Daisy steal his spot on the Town Committee In Charge Of Asking Out Loud Why Rich Landowners Can't Get A Fair Shake. Have Thomas weasel into Grantham's seat on the Council For Giant-Headed Milquetoasts. Have him show up to dinner one night and discover that they gave his seat to the dog.

2. I know it's season 5, but can you try just a little harder than this?

Big day, huh? Good luck, Mary!

Character exits are tough to write, I know, but literally anything might have been more interesting than that.

Intriguing. And in character. Or how about...

I want to know more! Or maybe just...

Now that's the spunky Lady Mary the bachelors are lining up to marry. Give her some dialogue she can hang an eyebrow on, for Pete's sake.

3. Can this bitch get over himself already?

The mirror, girlfriend. Look at it! Thou art not all that. You walk around all day sliding pastry onto plates. Clarkson heals the sick! Hand over the cake and go lick the platter clean, Spratt.

4. If we all promise to write long-hand letters to the BBC stating that we understand the overarching theme of this show is the old world being encroached upon by the new, could you go a single episode without a character speaking the theme? Or maybe just a single scene?

We know! It's all falling apart, and soon even commoner scum like Dr. Clarkson will be handed cake whenever he wants it. Change is terrifying and the future is one where you might not have the luxury of working sixteen hours a day in a basement. Move on.

5. We're not going to have to suffer through a dyslexia plotline are we?

Maybe you got a little gun-shy after your season-long "aftermath of Anna's graphic rape" arc met with some criticism, but come on. Dyslexia? We tune in for exciting hat-removals, not afterschool specials. Whilst we're on the subject, can you tell Carson to go screw himself?

She just wants to learn basic math, dude. It's not going shake the ground under your feet if she figures out how to subtract. Go steal more of your boss's fake jobs and get out of Daisy's business. Or better yet, take some sensitivity training. She has dyslexia! (Maybe. Hopefully not, but maybe.)

Wedge issue.

First of all, the kid turned out fine. Not only that, he seems like a great problem solver, at least when it comes to keeping his cool while trying to get himself out of a seemingly difficult jam. The situation was kind of funny at first. Even dad was chuckling. But after a few attempts at pushing and pulling to un-wedge his son's head from the gate, things became considerably less funny. Then, just as it began to look like they would have to call in a rescue team with a blow torch, the kid pulled off a trick straight out of a David Blaine street magic TV special.

The lesson here is that sometimes the answer to a difficult problem is so obvious that it's easy to overlook. Also, keep your children from getting too heavy, because at some point or another, most kids are going to wedge their heads in a gate.

The Emperor strikes apps.

If you've ever watched penguins at an exhibit and wistfully dreamed that you could also dive deep into the water with your blubbery body and forget all your cares, take heart, you have more in common with these birds than you think:

1. You are also flightless :(

2. Penguins love to play with iPads.

Yup, iPads, the apple product intended to stimulate the minds of homosapiens and felines alike have found a new market at the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific in the Magellanic penguin habitat. Aviculturist Sara Mandel explains that penguins are genetically gifted to be highly aware of their surroundings due to threat of predation, and are therefore titillated by "Games for Cats," an iPad game she originally downloaded for her cats at home.

The game is so stimulating for the birds that playing with the iPad has become a regular part of the penguin's morning enrichment time.

Mandel also subtly credits the iPad for getting her birds knocked up.

"I must have sone something right because we got Anderson and Heidi out of it," Mandel says, referring to two recently birthed baby penguins.

5. Sarah Palin, because PETA's mad about her son standing on the family dog.

In important political news, Sarah Palin posted a photo of her six-year-old son, Trig, using his service dog as a step stool. PETA and a whole bunch of other people got pissed, even though this is probably the nicest way Sarah Palin treated an animal all year. It's pretty obvious from the photos that the dog is not distressed by the small child standing on his back, which leads me to the saddest part of this story: I agree with Sarah Palin about something.

4. Prince Andrew, who has been accused of having sex with a teenage girl.

(Getty)

Prince Andrew, otherwise known as the prince that no one really cares about, is in hot water today after allegations that he had sex on several occasions with an underage teen. Apparently, his buddy, child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, paid the young woman to sleep with Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz, and others during encounters that Epstein may or may not have recorded. In a rare step for a member of the royal family, Buckingham Palace flatly denied the allegations against the prince, adding that there were plenty more cute photos of Prince George in sweater vests they were happy to distract people with.

3. This woman, who got stuck, naked, in her ex's chimney.

(via @CALFIRERRU)

You know that nightmare you keep having where you're naked inside your ex's chimney? Well, that came true for one Southern California woman. A 35-year-old woman who has not been identified was rescued by firefighters from a chimney after she tried to crawl down into her ex-boyfriend's house. When she got stuck, she attempted to make more space by getting naked. The woman was treated at a local hospital for "moderate" injuries and maximum embarrassment. Incredibly, an almost identical incident took place back in October. Maybe that's where she got the idea.

2. Teresa Giudice, who headed to prison this morning.

(Getty)

Your job may feel like prison on the Monday morning after vacation, but at least it isn't actually prison! Hey-o! (Unless you work at a prison!) Reality television star Teresa Giudice turned herself in to authorities today to serve her 15-month sentence for fraud. She'll be held at the same minimum-security Connecticut prison that inspired the show Orange is the New Black, and just like Piper Kerman, she'll probably be the least interesting person there.

1. This man, who got attacked and sent to the hospital by the deer he shot.

(Thinkstock)

A 72-year-old Wisconsin man was out hunting with some other family members when he struck a doe with a bow and arrow. Later, he went searching for her, and she attacked his leg with her head, causing injuries that required him to be sent to the hospital. As for the deer? "I'm guessing the deer got away," Officer Jeff Bonack told the Fond du Lac Reporter. Yep, the deer got away and lived happily ever after with its deer babies. That's how Bambi ends. Time to get in your jammies and turn off the TV now.

Please don't let this be the big teen trend of 2015.

As you may be aware, tiny humanoid and worldwide heartthrob Anna Kendrick was in a movie that came out in late 2012, Pitch Perfect. Whether or not you saw the film about Kendrick's adventures with a high school girls' a cappella group, over the next two years you certainly were exposed to the hit song Cups, also known as When I'm Gone. It has 172 million views on YouTube. If you loved it, you will probably love this cover version using, um, unique instruments. If you hated it, you've probably fantasized about a world in which it was possible to shoot a song. This is as close as you're going to get.

This video was recorded by Jim Huish of the band Amber's Drive. In the video's description, he lists the "instruments" as "an AR15, an AK47 (AK74), a CZ75 and a Walther P22." He also states that this took a large number of takes because the extremely cold weather (shot in Utah) caused the guns to keep jamming—and keeping him from jamming out with his guns.

As someone who has never seen Pitch Perfect, I will now mentally substitute this version for the original, making Kendrick's a cappella group seem a lot more badass. I look forward to the sequel, which I hear has an excellent number involving rocket launchers.

If you have an irrational fear of somebody taking all the weird, freaky things that happen inside your brain and turning them into a halfway-funny/halfway-creepy online comic, then you might want to skip this post.

For the past several years, Fran Krause has been soliciting people's darkest, weirdest, most-irrational fears and using them for his delightfully macabre Tumblr comic Deep Dark Fears. There's so much good stuff on there, it seems wrong to even call these a few of my favorites:

Fighting doppelgangers to the death was actually a popular sport back in the '20s. (via)

In reality, reflection demons are only mildly evil. (via)

This is why you should always keep a spare tongue handy.(via)

A good knee doctor can get those hammered right back into place.(via)

This is why they sell worm-proof mattress covers.(via)

Take note: this strategy does not work with burglars. (via)

So many more nightmares to be experienced on Deep Dark Fears.

If you can see this, you might be dead.

When Ted Turner created CNN in 1980, he introduced to the pre-Internet world the concept of round-the-clock news reporting and media overdosing with the now famous promise that "we won't be signing off until the world ends."

In order to fulfill his prophecy, he morbidly commissioned an end-of-the-world video which was to remain hidden, waiting for release, until the last robot manning the broadcast pressed play upon completion of planet Earth.

Instead, it was uncovered by former CNN intern Michael Ballaban, not so cleverly hidden on CNN's MIRA archive system, under the name "TURNER DOOMSDAY VIDEO."

The video was loaded and ready to execute, limited only by one restriction: "HFR (Hold For Release) till the end of the world confirmed."

The last thing us humans were intended to see as AIDS became airborne, or as the Challenger pieced itself back together to take its revenge, or whatever, is a 4:3 ratio, '80s quality grainy video of an army band playing "Nearer My God To Thee." The chosen tune is rumored to be what the band on the RMS Titanic played as it sank into the jewelry-filled water.

There's something romantic about everyone watching TV at once while they wait for infinity, especially in a time when most people brag that they don't even have TV because they can just stream whatever they want. Personally, I don't think I'd be watching members of the military industrial complex bang out a church hymn when I could be watching the mountains crumble into the sea outside my window, but it's nice to know someone cared.

If Ted Turner has his way, this is the last thing you'll see before you die.

Is this it? Are we dead yet?

If this is your view, you're too close.

Learning that two people were reportedly injured during this explosion at a fireworks factory outside of Bogotá, Colombia might be the most insane thing about it. It's great news and all, but—WTF?—two people inured? That's it? More people are hurt watching supervised fireworks displays every 4th of July. The footage, captured by a local TV cameraman, is so nuts it looks like it's been lifted from an apocalyptic video game for the PS4.

There isn't much news about how the explosion went down, just that there were road closings as a result. However, one thing is clear—if you're covering a blaze at a fireworks factory for a news station, 200 yards should not be considered a safe distance.

If someone was already shooting a movie about an explosion at a fireworks factory, the final scene they imagined was probably not quite as spectacular as this. And if there isn't a movie in production about an explosion at a fireworks factory, someone should build one around this. Because an explosion this epic deserves a bigger story than "both lanes closed on the Bogotá Turnpike following a cigarette mishap." And it shouldn't be a police comedy, because Naked Gun has already covered it.

"Never let me go! BFFffffffffff... ok, too tight, buddy! Too tight!"

Snake handler Jamie Guarino, 34, wants you to know that snakes, in particular pythons, can be loving family pets. He wants you to know it so badly that he taped this video of his 14-month-old daughter, Alyssa, playing with his 10-year-old and 13-foot-long Burmese Python, Nay Nay. There's no denying that Alyssa and Nay Nay are having a blast (well, Alyssa is, anyway—for some reason, I'm having trouble reading the expression in Nay Nay's cold, dead predator eyes), just as there's no denying that many of the people in the comments section are currently having embolisms.

This is not Guarino's only video to try and help snakes' bad reputations—he has a whole channel of himself and his young family handling large and exotic snakes. I wish him the best of luck in using YouTube to undo the millions of years of evolution that hard-wired snake-fear into humanity (which makes sense, since all mammals are descended from something that looks like it could be sold in the "snake food" section of the pet store).

We're gonna need a more absorbent diaper.

What you have to understand when you look at this post is that, for a certain type of person, building a crib inspired by Robert Shaw's climactic death scene from Steven Spielberg's 1975 classic Jaws is the absolute height of avuncular love.

Staten Island cool uncle Joseph Reginella—with the excited blessing of new dad Mark Melaccio—put an amazing amount of effort into making it look like his two-month-old nephew Mikey is constantly just about to be eaten by a massive Great White Shark. Check out these pictures from the construction process:

.

After all that effort, this kid had better grow up to appreciate great cinema as much as his uncle and father do. Or develop a debilitating fear of sharks at the very least.

By the way, here's a slightly more kid-friendly version of the death scene in question, in case you don't want to give yourself nightmares:

"Never hurry and never worry" - Charlotte

Just in time for the cold snap that threatens to freeze the entire east coast and send all of its inhabitants into a shivering ball of despair, we have Phinny!

Phinny is Ricky Phillip Gindlesberger (hymer schmidt)'s pet pig from Pittsburgh and he is trying to get to the grass but can't seem to keep his cloven footing on the ice. I haven't seen a slip that big since Janet flashed her nip for a mega-second at the Super Bowl.

OMG so cute I almost forgot my nose froze off because I stepped outside to take out the trash.

IS PHINNY OK????

Fear not, concern trolls! Ricky Phillip promises that "Phinny has been cuddled up by the heater all day! No more ice sliding!"

There can be only one.

It's easy to see how this adorable baby could mistake the dog's bed as something for her. It's the perfect size and comfy as hell. Cute or not, the pug isn't having it. Compared to babies, dogs don't get a whole lot in the way of possessions. A couple of chew toys, their food bowls, the occasional steak bone. Which is why this dog isn't about to give up his most prized possession without a fight. At first he tries to evict the baby by shaking her out of bed. When that doesn't work, he tries climbing in, hoping to make it so awkward and uncomfortable for both of them that the baby will leave on her own. No dice. So he goes nuclear, flipping the bed and dumping the baby on the rug.

In the end, the pug's victory could be short lived. Because, in the process of getting his bed back, he inadvertently introduced the baby to her new favorite game.