This baby elephant can't figure out his bathtub and he loves it.

March 13, 2015, 1:45 pm

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≪ Previous: First successful penis transplant completed by very satisfied doctors.

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If only human kids liked baths this much.

Double Trouble the baby elephant loves taking a bath. He might even love it more than Barry the pug. He doesn't squirm and kick happily like Barry does, but he does tumble in and out of the water more times than seems reasonable. Really, it's just hard to beat a baby elephant for looking happy.

There's a lot to love about this video, so it's easy to ignore the less pleasant details: the handler's flip flops, the little bit of poop that the elephant squeezes out, the fact that his name is Double Trouble… really, if none of it bothers him, who are we to judge?

This video comes from Elephantstay, a non-profit preserve and education center outside of Bangkok, Thailand. Visit their website to learn more about these clean, clean creatures.

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Department of Facepalm: Rudy Giuliani says Bill Cosby should be Obama's role model.

March 13, 2015, 1:51 pm

≫ Next: Obama and Kim Jong-Un impersonators unite to impersonate a buddy movie and sneak into parties.

≪ Previous: This baby elephant can't figure out his bathtub and he loves it.

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Let me see if I can take my hands off of my face for long enough to write this.

"I'm telling it like it is! Except I'm very disconnected from how things actually are!" (via Getty Images)

Former NYC mayor/lifetime sufferer of foot-in-mouth disease, Rudy Giuliani, said on a radio show earlier this week that President Obama should look to Bill Cosby as a role model. You know, Bill Cosby. That guy who's currently accused of sexual assault by over thirty women.

Giuliani was actually referring to how Cosby has, as the New York Daily News puts it, "spoken frequently and often bluntly about how African-Americans needed to focus more on education, be better parents and avoid lives of crime." But lest you think that Giuliani just had a brain slip and forgot about the several rape allegations Cosby currently faces when he said this, here's Guliani's full quote about Obama: "I hate to mention it because of what happened afterwards, but (he should be saying) the kinds of stuff Bill Cosby used to say."

The former mayor has also been quoted recently as saying that Darren Wilson, the police officer who shot unarmed teenager Michael Brown, should be "commended." What will he say next on "Rudy Giuliani's Making New Friends Goodwill Tour 2015?" Who knows, but I bet I'll hate it!

Obama and Kim Jong-Un impersonators unite to impersonate a buddy movie and sneak into parties.

March 13, 2015, 2:59 pm

≫ Next: One naked man ran into a parking garage and somehow wrecked two cars and a fence.

≪ Previous: Department of Facepalm: Rudy Giuliani says Bill Cosby should be Obama's role model.

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Don't forward this to your grandparents, they'll have heart attacks.

Too late: this is already leading your conservative aunt's next newsletter. (via Facebook)

Reggie Brown is perhaps America's most successful Obama impersonator, and he's had longer to prepare than anyone else—he's originally from Chicago, and he said way back in 2001 someone told him he looked like "some guy named Barack" a friend played basketball with at a local gym. Much less is known (appropriately) about "Kim Jong Um," a British Kim Jong Un impersonator who claims to be the only professional one around. On a purely physical basis, it's unlikely many other people could compete, anyway.

These two got together in LA last month for three reasons: to cement world peace, to see the sights, and to get into an Oscar party. Above, you can see the full album from their trip, and here's video of their attempt to attend an Oscars afterparty below that.

Post by Kim Jong "Um"-Kim Jong Un 김정은 Look alike/Impersonator.

I wonder if there are 47 Republican senator impersonators out there (yeah, they're in Congress! zing!) pretending to mess up negotiations with an Ayatollah Khamenei impersonator.

One naked man ran into a parking garage and somehow wrecked two cars and a fence.

March 13, 2015, 3:05 pm

≫ Next: Kanye, if you're going to lie about knowing someone, don't lie about knowing the President.

≪ Previous: Obama and Kim Jong-Un impersonators unite to impersonate a buddy movie and sneak into parties.

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One man truly can make a difference.

Nobody is sure what 21-year-old Garrett Smith was on when he stripped naked and charged headfirst into a parked car on Tuesday night, but let's hope it was something. The alternative is even scarier.

Anaheim waitress Clarisa Vidrio, who was in the next car, believes he was after her. She certainly did at the time, and got so scared that she backed into her neighbor's fence. Then, Smith jumped on to the roof of her car as she tried to drive away (which certainly supports her position), and shattered her windshield. She drove into a wall to dislodge him, sending him flying across the parking lot. He got up and sprinted off, but was picked up by police down the block.

This whole incident lasted only five minutes, but resulted in much, much more damage than you would expect from a naked guy. There's really only one possible explanation: he's a Terminator.

Not only should Clarisa Vidrio be careful, but every other Clarisa Vidrio in Southern California. This guy may be in police custody now, but he's just biding his time. He'll be back.

Kanye, if you're going to lie about knowing someone, don't lie about knowing the President.

March 13, 2015, 3:17 pm

≫ Next: This genius built a bar in an igloo and made the endless winter awesome.

≪ Previous: One naked man ran into a parking garage and somehow wrecked two cars and a fence.

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Despite what Kanye thinks, Obama's speed-dial does not include the Kimye residence.

"No, seriously guys! The President calls me all the time!" (via Getty Images andJimmy Kimmel Live on YouTube)

Kanye West spoke at Oxford University recently— and oh, when he addressed the young people in that aesthetically pleasing, chair-less room, he dropped some gems. First of all, he asked no one to whisper in the presence of Yeezus:

OK, everyone please be completely quiet, because I can literally hear a whisper, and it'll throw off my stream of consciousness, and when I get my stream of consciousness going that's when I give the best, illest quotes. Literally, a whisper can throw it off.

He then proceeded to deliver several ill quotes, including this claim that Kanye and Obama are phone BFFs:

I understand that I'm a servant. And with my voice, with my ability to build relationships with amazing people, speak to amazing people, call Elon Musk out of the blue or call Obama out of the blue — Obama calls the home phone, by the way.

But according to Obama? Not so much. He set things straight on last night's Jimmy Kimmel Live:

This genius built a bar in an igloo and made the endless winter awesome.

March 13, 2015, 4:40 pm

≫ Next: Repeating every year.

≪ Previous: Kanye, if you're going to lie about knowing someone, don't lie about knowing the President.

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Scratch all of your previous weekend plans; if you still have snow, it's time to build a bar in an igloo.

An igloo bar can make the winter a little more polar-bearable. (via snowsculpt on Instagram)

Dave Rothstein is a snow sculptor, attorney, and — dare I say it? — hero who lives in Northampton, Massachusetts. This winter, Rothstein not only built an awesome igloo, but he also opened it up as a neighborhood speakeasy where he served drinks while dressed as a polar bear.

In an interview with Mass Live, Rothstein said of the igloo, "It seemed a shame to let it go to waste, with only me enjoying it." So instead he started serving up free drinks — both alcoholic and non-alcoholic — in shot glasses made of ice. His igloo bar attracted up to 70 people a night the last couple of weekends.

The only thing that sucks about this is that we didn't learn about it earlier in the winter. (via snowsculpt on Instagram)

Here's a little video tour of the inside of the speakeasy, complete with Rothstein in his polar bear getup:

Repeating every year.

March 14, 2015, 5:00 am

≫ Next: Nerd to the nth power.

≪ Previous: This genius built a bar in an igloo and made the endless winter awesome.

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Nerd to the nth power.

March 14, 2015, 7:00 am

≫ Next: On and on.

≪ Previous: Repeating every year.

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On and on.

March 14, 2015, 8:00 am

≫ Next: Sometimes smart.

≪ Previous: Nerd to the nth power.

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Sometimes smart.

March 14, 2015, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Infinite love.

≪ Previous: On and on.

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Infinite love.

March 14, 2015, 10:00 am

≫ Next: Some very persistent cats demand attention from the humans lucky enough to serve them.

≪ Previous: Sometimes smart.

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Some very persistent cats demand attention from the humans lucky enough to serve them.

March 14, 2015, 10:38 am

≫ Next: Beautiful curves.

≪ Previous: Infinite love.

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"Your services are required!"

Look at all of these ungrateful humans forcing their feline overlords to request the petting that is rightfully theirs. Don't these people understand that they should constantly be offering attention? If the cats don't want it, they'll simply scratch the hell out of their arm to signal their lack of interest.

Beautiful curves.

March 14, 2015, 11:00 am

≫ Next: Here's everything you need to know about the arts for people who are much more into farts.

≪ Previous: Some very persistent cats demand attention from the humans lucky enough to serve them.

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Here's everything you need to know about the arts for people who are much more into farts.

March 14, 2015, 11:26 am

≫ Next: Buy a round.

≪ Previous: Beautiful curves.

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An arty-farty party for people who aren't a smarty.

A really well-crafted oil painting or marble sculpture has a lot more in common with one of your malodorous clouds of flatulence than you might think. When done right, both are sensual and redolent. Both come from their creators' guts. And both are highly subjective. Some people are going to appreciate what you produce, while many others won't. In either case, you should get used to the phrase, "Wow, that stinks!"

Related: An Idiot's Guide To Not Letting Smart People Take Your Money

Buy a round.

March 14, 2015, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: To your health.

≪ Previous: Here's everything you need to know about the arts for people who are much more into farts.

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To your health.

March 15, 2015, 5:00 am

≫ Next: Got your back.

≪ Previous: Buy a round.

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Got your back.

March 15, 2015, 7:00 am

≫ Next: Someone slipped a topless lady into a Nickelodeon cartoon. Think of the children!

≪ Previous: To your health.

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Someone slipped a topless lady into a Nickelodeon cartoon. Think of the children!

March 15, 2015, 11:13 am

≫ Next: Worked out.

≪ Previous: Got your back.

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Warning: NSFCW (Not Safe For Cartoon Work)

Oh no! It's having an effect already!

Guys, this is America's worst nightmare made true! It seems that some mischievous animator for the Nickelodeon cartoon Oggy and the Cockroaches thought that it would be a real hoot to corrupt our nation's children by sneaking an image of a real life cartoon woman's real life cartoon breasts into a recent episode!

The episode has apparently been scrubbed from Nickelodeon's website, but thankfully cultural watchdog TMZ was able to save it for our outraged viewing pleasure:

Sadly, this distasteful incident has not been without its casualties. According to TMZ, one father was forced to have a conversation about the female body with his 8-year-old son after the poor child was subjected to the split-second image. Our hearts go out to both of them and their entire extended family.

Worked out.

March 16, 2015, 5:00 am

≫ Next: 15 brave pets who dared to go make-up free.

≪ Previous: Someone slipped a topless lady into a Nickelodeon cartoon. Think of the children!

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15 brave pets who dared to go make-up free.

March 16, 2015, 6:44 am

≫ Next: Truth be told.

≪ Previous: Worked out.

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1. A border collie who isn't afraid to be herself.

(via)

Domestic animals are subjected to so much scrutiny about their cuteness. With the insatiable demand for ever-more-unrealistically-adorable pet pics, the pressure to pretend to have perfect fur, perfect slobber, and a perfectly chubby belly has gotten even worse in the Internet era. Since most house pets choose to stay at home, many believe their only purpose is to look great at all times for any Instagram opportunities that may pop into their owners' heads. That's why we find it refreshing to see make-up-free pets refusing to leash themselves to conformity.

Here are our some of our favorite cuties pulling off au naturel looks:

2. She loves the way she was born, take it or leaf it.

(via)

3. An American bobtail bravely shows the world how comfortable she is with all aspects of herself.

(via)

4. Just because she's a rabbit doesn't mean she's jumping to meet the expectations of your human gaze.

(via)

5. In the race for beauty, this poodle's a winner.

(via)

6. Tahoe loves being outside and posing for pics outside your aesthetic comfort zone.

(via)

7. The blue hose represents the internal bondage all pets feel about society's impossible standards.

(via)

8. Someone call Dr. Meowtin Luther King, Jr. because being make-up-free has united black & white kitties.

(via)

9. She may be a French Bulldog, but she doesn't accept the Internet's bull.

(via)

10. Egon was named after a Ghostbuster, so naturally this cat isn't afraid to pose barefaced.

(via)

11. Beyoncé's biggest kitten fan. She wakes up like this.

(via)

12. Three weeks and four days old is too young to start dolling up with the same chemicals that get tested on this puppy's pals.

(via)

13. FREE! FREE OF YOUR DEMANDS FOR PERFECTION!

(via)

14. If you don't think this pig looks great, then you're the pig, PIG.

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15. This is one kitten that won't be boxed in by anything other than a literal box.

(via)