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Mom interrupts daughter's vlog to make a far more interesting announcement about the toilet.

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No idea what the little girl is saying up top. Someone named "Sherloyd?"

Thank you, Internet, for bringing us this moment. In a time before the Internet, this young lass would have been on the phone, and she could have easily covered the receiver with her hand or hung up before her mother said, "Well it woz fockin one ayez." Also, we never would have seen the little sister make weird puppy faces in the corner. None of this special family memory would have been preserved for all eternity. So, thanks Al Gore or whoever.

Anyway, I think the mom did it.

Man who turned brother's room into pink little girl's playroom rotates room 90 degrees >>

[Via Youtube jay harris]


Announcement of Whitey Bulger verdict results in wonderfully inappropriate screen caption on MSNBC.

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No way you didn't write that chyron yourself, Touré.

Yesterday's "Guilty" verdict for James "Whitey" Bulger resulted in a wholelot of tweets playing on the serendipidity of someone with the nickname "Whitey" being convicted by a jury in America. Not one to pass up a golden opportunity, MSNBC's Touré delivered news of the verdict on The Cycle with this chuckle-inducing chyron decorating the screen. Not an accident.

Burglars return stolen goods with apology after realizing they stole from a charity >>

(Via Dorsey Shaw on Twitter)

Thanks for not being good enough at my job to take it from me while I was on vacation.

If Breaking Bad took place entirely on Facebook - Season 5, Episode 9.

It's either you or me that I'm having sex with later.

The best thing about being a new mom is the lower tolerance from not drinking for nine months.

I worry my soulmate is on a different dating site.

You deserve someone worse.


I'd love to talk but I'm in a hurry to get home so I can be alone.

I know a great wine that pairs with you sitting and watching me get drunk.

CrossFit is a great way to spend $300 a month to do calisthenics in a warehouse.

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today — August 13, 2013

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Plane crashes, bank robberies, monkey Jesus and a great way to die await you in 5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today!

Go now >>

I judge a man by the size of his sandwich.

They don't have an emoji for what I want to do with you.

I hope your vacation is relaxing enough to distract you from the constant thoughts of the absurd amount you paid for it.


Happy birthday to someone whose age now makes them cry more than they did on the day of their birth.

I hope you're enjoying your vacation from me complaining about being at work.

I'd give you the shirt off my back if I wasn't afraid to take off my shirt.

You made my day by not making me listen to how bad yours is going.

I want to wake up next to you not remembering your name.

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