Basically, he thinks America is weird and fascinating...and that's pretty much the job requirement.

Jon Stewart has done a very good job hosting The Daily Show. But what does 'a good job' mean? At the risk of oversimplifying, it means watching all of American news and remaining calm enough and objective enough to call out contradictions and to hold it against the standards of what American news and culture should be. As John Oliver's guest-hosting stint (and subsequent success at Last Week Tonight) showed, immigrants who adopt America as their own can sometimes spot our quirks more clearly than those of us who have lived with them forever. Here are five ways South African comic Trevor Noah has already shown he can wield that insight for comedy.

1. He understands that the brightest minds in America crunch sports statistics, not economic data:

2. He is baffled by radio stations who think hip-hop fans don't know what words are being bleeped out:3. He can discuss aspects of race (and Obama) in America that would make Americans of any color uncomfortable:4. His accent is delightful enough to keep Americans awake during a discussion of chess:5. He actually does better American accents than Jon Stewart does (besides Jon Stewart's own accent):Bonus: He speaks 6 languages and is really smart. Whether or not that endears him to America remains to be seen:

If you'd like to learn more about Noah, you can check out his stand-up special African American on Netflix, or read this Rolling Stone article on why he'll be great at The Daily Show, or watch more clips at the Daily Dot.

Why is this contraption different from all other contraptions?

As legend has it, thousands of years ago, a young Jewish woman named Jochebed placed her baby into a watertight basket set him adrift down the Nile. That baby was Moses, and though she couldn't possibly have realized it at the time, she had set in motion a chain of highly improbable events that would lead to the Jewish people being freed of their Egyptian chains, a forty year trek through the Middle Eastern desert, and the founding of the Israel. So, Jochebed could be considered the spiritual mother of the Rube Goldberg machine.

To be honest, that's kind of a stretch. But, if you just go with it, it makes this already cool Passover chain reaction device—devised by a group of students at the Israel Institute of Technology to re-enact the events of the Book of Exodus—even cooler. And since Passover is less than a week away, this is the perfect time to bone up on the Biblical story in any way that doesn't involve Christian Bale.

If you ask me, the best part is when the machine makes it rain frogs. But I'm always a fan of a good frog-raining.

This kid assumed his Airsoft gun's battery was dead, and his stuff paid the price.

This kid may look like a rosy-cheeked cherubic angel, but don't let that fool you. He's pure danger. He's heavily armed, and he can hit a target as small as a monitor from two yards away. Move over, American Sniper.

Honestly, this video is a pretty perfect example of everything you can do wrong with a weapon. Using it without supervision… in an enclosed space… pointed in a random direction… without checking to see if it's loaded. The kid explains in the video's description that he was filming himself to add special effects later, and he assumed the gun's battery was dead because it hadn't fired in months. But you know what happens when you assume, right? You have to buy a new monitor. And then your mom drops the F-bomb.

Safety first, everybody.

President Obama almost ate it walking off Air Force One earlier today. The real winner here is Chevy Chase, who won't be asked to risk hurting his back again on SNL by doing a falling-presidents gag with Jay Pharoah.

Yes, this is literally a non-story, but what a non-story it is!

As Ted Cruz or John Lennon might have put it, can you imagine? Can you imagine a world where Barack Obama fell down a flight of stairs? On a return flight from a golfing trip, no less?

See also: Madonna eats it falling off stage at British Grammys, learns why capes are a bad idea.

Can you imagine the 24/7 right-wing glee? Can you imagine the stupid jokes pundits would make and then laugh at themselves? Can you imagine the idiotic metaphors about the economy falling down a flight of stairs? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF DRUDGEREPORT.COM WAS FINALLY FORCED TO HANDLE GIFS?

Whoah! I almost fell down from all that imagining.

What's a heartbroken girl to do during the fateful weekend of her ex-boyfriend's wedding?

Thanks to wedding websites, which trumpet all of the adorable details of a couple's courtship and honeymoon plans (“They hated each other at first—can you believe it?" “The bridesmaids will carry bouquets of snapdragons because that is the couple's shared favorite flower!"), it can be hard to ignore when your guy-that-got-away officially “gets away."

So here are some helpful tips (and no, none of them is “show up at the wedding, Graduate-style") for surviving the weekend your ex gets married:

1. Smoke the Old Supply – Literally or Figuratively.

When you're missing the familiar embrace of your ex-BF who is about to score a whole lot of monogrammed towels, why not fall into the equally familiar arms of that bartender who you had a dalliance with all those years back? Either that or get blazed like it's 4:20 pm on 4/20 and lose all sense of what day it is and what event is taking place at a nearby function hall.

2. Pamper Yourself.

Dip your body in hot wax and rip off all remaining hairs, then get a facial, manicure, and pedicure. By the time that's all done, you'll have no idea what day it is. And losing a layer of skin and hair is like an adult rebirth ceremony.

3. Enjoy the Silence.

Silent retreats aren't just for rich weirdos anymore—now they're for YOU, girl! You can't talk ad nauseum about your ex's wedding registry (“brown towels? That's SO typical Keith!") if you can't talk.

4. Get Some Strange.

Make out with a guy who is the exact opposite of your ex. If your ex has a job, this guy doesn't. If your ex hated plaid, this guy wears a kilt 24/7. If your ex hated hockey, this guy is a professional goon with killer hockey hair (can you set me up with that guy when you're done, please?). If your ex was a Democrat, this guy's pillow talk sounds like Rush Limbaugh's radio show. Deliberately dip your toe in an unfamiliar pool and discover new talent.

5. Lose Yourself Underground.

This one is for the city dwellers except for Chicago (sorry, Chi-Town pals). Hop on the subway and head to that subterranean paradise where you can avoid texts, calls, and social media coverage of his special day. Pack some snacks and hope that most of the time down there is SHOWTIME!

6. Keep Busy.

Have you ever heard a cook talk about his or her Thanksgiving routine? He gets up early to get the turkey in the oven, then start in on the sides and soon it's time to make the crusts and use those weird ball pie weight things but don't forget to regularly baste the bird and before you know it company is coming over! The day flies by when you're manically busy—your friends will enjoy the dinner and you'll keep your brain occupied and your fingers off your smartphone.

7. Take a Lesson from Carrie Bradshaw.

I'm sure we all recall the Sex & the City episode when Carrie was dumped by Post-it and she forced the ladies to go out with her that night in order to have the day be more than simply the day she was dumped via Post-it. You should do the same! The day isn't your ex-boyfriend's wedding day—it's the day you dance atop a bar while wearing too much eye make-up and then lose your wallet (or whatever memorable event you'd like).

8. Volunteer, Journal, think about Gratitude.

As Gandhi and a military hottie who I used to smooch would both say: "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others," and for real girl, it's true. Rather than treading in the toxic waters of wondering if you're the butt of a joke in the best man's speech, give your time to someone else and remember how lucky you are for what you DO have. Know that there are happier times just around the bend, you deserve to be with someone who adores you, and there are plenty of fish in the sea—hot fish who wouldn't dream of registering for brown towels.

(images via Thinkstock)

If you follow this list, you can do EVERYTHING — and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to block your truth shine.

You can do this all the time... if you know how to prioritize everything. (via Thinkstock)

Whether you're reading about fitness, dieting, friends, family, home improvement, personal development, or reaching career goals, the advice is almost always the same — you have to make the things that matter to you a priority. But when everything's a priority, how do you prioritize your priorities?

You could focus on a small handful things that are the most important to you, doing a great job at those and leaving yourself time to relax and just be. But the person who does that sounds like a boring loser! If you're reading this list, I bet you're the kind of awesome person who wants to do more with his day and surround himself with motivational art he found on clearance at TJ Maxx. (“Work for beauty in your beliefs, and your tomorrow will become today's truth!!!!")

Good for you! This list will help you making all of your priorities a priority.

1. Make reading this list a priority.

Hey, dummy — how are you ever going to prioritize anything else in your life if you can't even prioritizing reading a list? If you're even thinking about bookmarking this for later, just go away. You'll never be successful with that attitude!

2. Adopt a productivity mantra.

A mantra that you can repeat to yourself during tough times can help you power through and remember why you're working so hard. Try one of these:

• If I fail, everyone will hate me.
• If I stop working, I'll have time to think about who I am as a person, and I don't want to do that.
• I am only lovable because the amount of work I accomplish.

3. Sleep less.

At the end of each day, our stupid bodies turn into cocoons of unconsciousness — but when we wake up, none of us ever have butterfly wings, we just have a bunch of time we missed out on! That's why you should say NO to sleep, and say YES to caffeine, speed, and doing the uberman sleep schedule, where you sleep for 20-minute chunks every four hours. If you ever feel tired, stand in front of the mirror and repeat “It's hard to kill the game while the game is asleep" until Tony Robbins appears in the mirror and tells you that you're doing great.

A woman who has made it a priority to work on her priorities. (via Thinkstock)

4. Never just eat.

There's a word for people who focus on their food when they're eating: failures. Consume all of your meals while completing another task, whether it's commuting, exercising, or having sex. After all, you know what people who prioritize everything say — you haven't really made love until you've made love while drinking a green smoothie!

5. Meditate correctly.

People might try to tell you that meditation doesn't provide any special insights — just that the act of sitting in awareness can, over time, help stabilize your mind. Wrong! People who say you can't get any special insights from meditating are just lying to keep their special meditation insights secret! If you meditate correctly, you will learn the secret to being the best at everything. If you don't figure out how to be the best at everything while meditating, you should consider yourself a broken failure.

6. Make a schedule and stick to it.

Bad time management is one of the main reasons people are not able to prioritize all of their priorities. That's why you should schedule every waking moment of your day to the last minute. For example, your morning should look something like this:

Great job! There is no free time in there to wonder about whether all of this productivity actually makes you happy or not.

7. Never, ever second guess your decision to do everything.

The moment that happens is the moment you stop doing and start thinking. You know who thought a lot? The Unabomber. Live your life like a shark — always moving forward, never stopping, and violently gnashing your two rows of horrible teeth at anyone or anything who tries to get you to slow down.. This is your life — live it until you run your dumb body into the ground at an early age!

Some pleasures unite us all, regardless of species.

Winter the lamb is an endearing little chop. He loves bounding around on a big springy bed more than anything. You would too, if you stopped worrying about the longevity of your mattress for a minute. So go home tonight and jump away. Life is short, and you never know when someone will roast you and serve you with mint jelly.

By the way, this video is actually part 2. Here's the prequel, so you never have to stop enjoying the bounce:

And if older lambs are more your speed, check out this video of sheep being herded by a drone.

The Biebs showed up to duet with Ariana Grande, then promptly forgot the words to her song.

Justin Bieber made a surprise appearance at Ariana Grande's show in Miami over the weekend, and he gave Ariana a bonus surprise of forgetting the lyrics to the song he was dueting on, "Love Me Harder." But Bieber followed Bieber rule #1: If you don't know what to say, just replace it with swag. (It's similar to Bieber rule #2: If you don't know how to look when getting your mugshot taken, smile.) Instead of singing the latter half of the song, J Biebs simply strutted around the stage and touched the hands of screaming tweens ("scweens").

He did immediately and profusely apologize after the song (bump to 2:10 in the video to see that part), and he apologized again on Instagram as well:

From the mouths of Biebs: "Had fun with u Ariana, even tho I forgot all the words haha" (via justinbieber on Instagram)

A couple noticed their baby clapping in the ultrasound, so they sang along and filmed it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for this couple and their growing family, but is that supposed to look cute? His fetal hands looks like little raccoon mitts in there.

Or maybe he's a baby genius, and he's clapping for the doctor's excellent ultrasound technique. That would actually be kind of cute... except for the part where there's a sentient fetus judging everyone in hearing distance.

There are few things more heartwarming than a long-awaited homecoming.

This video comes courtesy of the Heath Veterinary Clinic in West Sussex, UK — some six months after Jasper the Whippet had been reported as missing/stolen, he was brought into one of the vet's locations. According to the clinic:

Rhian, one of our vets, checked him over and scanned him for a microchip and it was discovered that he was registered to an address in Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire and had been reported missing/stolen in September 2014. In the meantime Jasper had been sold to a woman who had looked after him for the last 3 months.

Awww. I think the only way Jasper could be more excited is if his owner was wrapped in bacon and had a squirrel sitting on his head. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have something in my eye. (It's a bunch of tears.)

As a bonus, this is an eco-friendly way of wiping out scary bugs.

Yellow jackets. Wasps. Stingy-stingy-ouchy-ouches. Whatever you call them, get them the hell away from me. This guy, however, was willing to get pretty close to the disturbingly huge hive that seems to have settled into his house. Not too close, though: he had about 9 feet of vacuum tube in between him and these hellspawn. When all was said and done (a few hours later), he had killed "at least hundreds" of them using nothing more than the machine, some water, and some dish soap to finish them off. Much better than soaking the house in possibly carcinogenic insecticide which will wash off with the rain and then flow into the town's water supply.

As a youngster, I used to love blasting wasps' nests out of the gutters and roof nooks of my parents' house, but I did so with my pride and joy: the absolute biggest Super Soaker they made at the time, a mega-rifle that looked like something Vin Diesel would shoot in an alien movie. I was braver, then.

If you're a wanted criminal, maybe you shouldn't be using Snapchat. Or using your cellphone. Or hanging out in your house.

Based on the yellow hue, I'm going to assume that he was doing his best impression of the Snapchat ghost in this picture. (via the Somerset County Sheriff's Department)

Back in January, Christopher Wallace, the brilliant gentleman you see above, stole a cast-iron stove from a hunting camp in Maine. He was caught on film, so police went to his house. They found the stove, but they did not find Wallace.

Fast-forward a few months, and Wallace was still at large. That is, until this 24-year-old on the lam made the brilliant decision to Snapchat that he was in his house. Some people who saw it alerted the authorities, and police came and searched the home. They didn't find Wallace. But before the police even left his residence, this criminal mastermind sent another Snapchat that he was hiding in a kitchen cupboard. Then, according to the Somerset County Sheriff's Office Facebook page (which, by the way, is legitimately funny):

A search of the kitchen cabinets turned up some food, some pots and pans, and also a pair of feet. The pair of feet just so happened to be attached to a person, and that person was Christopher Wallace. He was removed from the cabinet, and placed under arrest. All of that, brings me to the moral of the story. Always remain humble, my friends.

But hey, great news for Wallace, who obviously loves social media — you have this great new mugshot to use as your profile pic!

Trevor Noah was named the new host of "The Daily Show," but his Twitter feed is full of anti-semitic and fat-phobic "jokes."

That's what my face looked like when I read these tweets.(via Getty)

Most of us have something embarrassing on our various social media platforms someone could dig up if we were suddenly thrust into the spotlight. Of course, most of us aren't in line to inherit one of the biggest late-night shows on cable television. Trevor Noah is and he probably should have taken a long hard look at himself and his previously published jokes before the announcement was made. He has so many funny bits. Work that delete button, dude.

Here is some of the offending material:

.WTF DID YOU SAY @Trevornoah? GOT ANYTHING ELSE SMART TO SAY ABOUT JEWS LITTLE #AntiSemite ? pic.twitter.com/XfPdpcuR7o

— DAVID DRAIMAN (@DAVIDMDRAIMAN) March 31, 2015

Side. Eye.

A hot white woman with ass is like a unicorn. Even if you do see one, you'll probably never get to ride it.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) November 28, 2011

Ha ha. Women are things.

"Oh yeah the weekend. People are gonna get drunk & think that I'm sexy!" - fat chicks everywhere.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) October 14, 2011

Trevor Noah is handsome, I guess, but dudes who dismiss a certain kind of woman as unattractive to everyone, everywhere, forever, better be more than handsome. They better be the kings of sex. He might be the new host of The Daily Show, but I doubt anyone who spends this much time thinking up jokes about "fat chicks" is getting laid a lot.

So far, the only response to all the backlash was this tweet, posted this morning then deleted about a half-hour later, though the offending tweets remain up:

(via BuzzFeed)

Yo, comedy bros, the world is changing. Your past transgressions are on view. Your current opinions are widely disseminated. You can either grow up, apologize, and move forward or get left behind. Hopefully, if Noah can't do the former, Comedy Central will do the latter.

"Do you like violence, Timmy? Yes, yes, let the evil consume you." (Via)

As hard as shopping malls try to make "going to see the Easter Bunny" a thing, it's never quite caught on like visiting Santa Claus. Maybe that's because Christmas is a magical celebration of materialistic greed and gluttony while the closest thing to "fun" about Easter is showing off your new pair of church slacks — or maybe it's because every Easter Bunny costume is a walking nightmare of soul-scarring horror. Here are some examples of why the image of a bleeding, emaciated guy on a cross rising from the grave is somehow not the most traumatizing thing about this holiday.

"In my day, if you wanted an Easter Bunny you had to expose one to radiation yourself!"(via)

I'm way more scared of the girl who looks like this is her personal demon pet.(via)

There is no way this bunny doesn't sound like "MWUAHAHAHAHAHA" when it laughs. (via)

He accidentally bleached his Bigfoot costume. Lemons into lemonade. (Via)

That's nothing. We once saw a bunny swallow five kids in one gulp.(Via)

He's just giving her a head-start. They love the sport of the hunt. (Via)

In the old days, childhood was utter madness. MADNESS! (via)

After I give them their eggs, I am taking them back to my planet with me. (Via)

"Say anything of my plans and I'll cross your other eye, too."(via)

His eyes can see your circulatory system under your skin. (via)

Even death will not stop the Easter Bunny from mall appearances. (via)

It's uncomfortable that the Easter Bunny sits like our Dad on a hot day. (via)

I'd cry too if a Chuck E. Cheez animatronic bass player came to life. (Via)

"Yes, this kid is already perfectly colored to become my next egg." (Via)

This bunny's name is Hopalong Junkpouch. (Via)

Something tells me it's not the bunny that will be chocolate-filled after this picture. (Via)

"Prisoner 49581, please submit yourself to The Bunny. Prisoner 49581 to The Bunny."(via)

They say when you look into its eyes you can see Hell itself. (Via)

We once saw a crazy anime movie where this exact bunny looked about 5% trippier. (via)

They both somehow look like startled/offended British aristocrats. (via)

Well, that's a big old pile of this-shouldn't-be-happening. (via)

"Give us a thumbs up if the bunny is threatening you."(via)

Easter is the one day a year that Grandpa's bunny suit looked slightly less crazy.(via)

That's no bunny... that's a giant sentient Peep. We've got to microwave it from orbit. (via)

This bunny is so terrifying, the top half of his face is trying to escape the bottom half. (via)

This costume was made by having a blind person describe a rabbit to a deaf person. (via)

Bunnies love shoulder meat. It's the tenderest. (via)

He always keeps a spare. (via)

Unable to wriggle free, the child grimly accepts his fate. (via)

For children who prefer their six-foot rabbits more nightmarishly realistic. (via)

We're not sure if this is an Easter Bunny or a mascot for an asbestos company. (via)

"There, there, child. The time for struggle is long over." (via)

"If I'm going to deliver your Easter basket I'm going to need that alarm code." (via)

We've made a lot of dark jokes in this post, but seriously, WTF? (Via)

"I skipped the mask because I thought it looked a little creepy." (Via)

"Could someone take this child, please? I'm late for a bank robbery." (Via)

This is the kind of picture you send along with a ransom note. (via)

It's hard to say which one of these looks more like a middle-aged alcoholic. (via)

Already eyeing his next victim. (via)

From Donnie Darko's baby pictures. (via)

Those are actually just whiskers. His mouth is the part that's salivating over the dog he's about to swallow whole. (via)

He looks sad because she's going to be hard to catch on those Rollerblades. (Via)

He's been sitting like that for 28 minutes. (Via)

You can have her, just please stop looking at us like that. (Via)

Sometimes an Easter Bunnies is just a giant Q-tip with a taste for blood. (Via)

Pretty sure we saw this one in the opening credits of American Horror Story. (via)

A video that takes us on a tour of the factory birthplace of your favorite anthropomorphized Easter marshmallow.

Finally, spring has arrived! The crocuses and snow drops are pushing through the thawing ground, people are Mary Tyler Moore-ing their winter hats, and everyone is giving each other sex eyes. Well, turn those sex eyes on this video and watch how the Peeps get made. When you see those little yellow soldiers lining up to march into your mouth, you know winter is finally over.

The company that makes Peeps, Just Born, is still a family owned business, and damn if they aren't dedicated. The Borns have been making candy since 1917. Their factory has been in Bethlehem, PA since 1932 and they've been mass producing our Easter Peeps since 1953. Two BILLION of these guys get made every year! Probably because we've been nibbling the delicious crusty sugar edges off and throwing the rest of that soggy mess away?

According to this video, you haven't lived until you've tasted a warm Peep. Adding that to the bucket list.

This week's episode is titled “The Carfather." Though no one dies in a Scorsesesque fashion (or at all) to keep the esoteric empire going, there is plenty of death talk.

Kris is worried about who will pull the plug on her, and Khloè is now the scared owner of a painting of one of Beach-Boys-buddy Charlie Manson's victims, Sharon Tate.

It's normal for your mom to worry about which family member is up to the task of deciding when her life is more over than Justin Bieber's squeaky-clean image, however most of the episode was anything but ordinary.

Here are five standout moments that reminded us not to bother trying to keep up:

1. Seeing your mother-in-law in her underwear doesn't include technological breakthroughs.

2. No 17-year-old in your family is ever releasing a hair extension line with eleven shades.

3. Kanye West isn't there for you when your trainer's imagination fails you.

4. Your ex-stepdad isn't buying you a painting of celebrity murder victim Sharon Tate, unintentionally reminding you of the celebrity murder trial of your mom's best friend.

5. There is never a huge truck of cars outside with no explanation.

Kyesha Smith Wood of Birmingham, AL, describes finding a woman her kids were rude to at the movie theater through social media.

Two teenage girls were acting up at the movie theater and their brother straight tattled on them. Most moms would be like, "I have three kids, don't ask, don't tell, honey," but not Kyesha Smith Wood. She went to Facebook and tried to make things right, searching for the woman who'd attempted to discipline her children during their mother's absence:

(via Facebook)

It reads:

This is a long shot, but I'm looking for a woman that was at Tannehill Premier tonight seeing Cinderella at 7pm. I dropped my teenage daughter, step daughter, and son off at the movie. My son later told me, much to my humiliation and embarrassment, that my girls were rude and obnoxious during the movie. The woman I'm looking for addressed them and asked them to be quiet and they were disrespectful. After the movie she approached my girls and told them that her husband had been laid off and this was the last movie she would be able to take her daughter to for a while and my girls ruined that for her. If you are this woman, please message me. I can assure you that these girls are being strongly dealt with and appropriately punished. This rude, disrespectful, and awful behavior is unacceptable and they owe you an apology. My husband and I are having them write your apology letter tonight and we would like to pay for your next movie and snacks out of their allowance. Please message me if this is you. I apologize profusely for their disrespect.

Wow. In my experience, if you try to tell someone else's kids how to behave they come at you like a rabid dog, even if you were stopping a toddler from jumping in a glass-filled pit, or something. Wood's humility and eagerness to set things right is incredibly admirable. Lots of other people were impressed, too, and it wasn't long before her post went viral, getting shared almost 5,000 times. And she found the woman!

Rebecca Boyd from Adger, Alabama replied to the post where it was shared on the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office Facebook page (pause: why does this exist? Un-pause.), saying that the post brought her to tears and proved that there are good people in the world. The day Rebecca Boyd had her movie-going experience ruined, she told the girls that she and her daughter were there to see Cinderella because her husband had just been laid off and this was their last movie for awhile. Like a swan song to being able to afford life's simple joys.

Kyesha offered in her post to buy the Boyds their next movie ticket (from her daughters' allowance), but even better, the Boyds have received several job offers because of the popularity of the post. Now that's a real Cinderella story.

My favorite part of the video above, after Kyesha's lilting Alabama accent, is how triumphant she is over getting hundreds of thousands of likes more than her kids could ever hope to acquire on any social media platform. Truly, the greatest shame of all is having your mom's Facebook page be more popular than your own.