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Tiny kitten starts a slap-fight with two huge Dalmatians, and wins.

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This little cat playing with Dalmatians clearly doesn't understand differences in size or the basic concept of fear.

If I was a tiny cat and two giant dogs started nosin' their way into my business, I'd go hide in a teapot (or somewhere else where I'd look just adorable). But not li'l kitten Uno. Oh, no — if any man or beast sticks his nose in Uno's business, he is fighting back, no matter how big they are.


What To Tell Grandma: 8 easy answers to your nana's prying personal questions.

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It's hard enough to deal with your own (f*cked-up) life without the added pressure of letting down your loved ones.

Here are some situations that can easily be reimagined in Grandma-speak:

1. "Are you dating anyone nice?"

You've just been broken up with by someone that you didn't even like that much and you're more annoyed that they beat you to it than you are heartbroken. Still, the last 3 relationships have been failures ranging from disappointing to painful. You're crazy, they're crazy, and nothing shows any sign of changing any time soon.

2. "How are you getting along at work?"

The only thing you currently hate more than your mostly non-existent love life is your piece of crap job. Your boss is a sociopath who subsists on a diet of telephone calls and Starbucks. No one seems to notice you much, unless you're not there, in which case everything needs to be done immediate and you are apparently the only one capable of doing it.

3. "How are you liking school?"

This is a ridiculous question. Liking school? It's school, no one likes it! In the history of time, no one has ever liked school. Even the teachers hate it, and they're actually getting paid to be there. Unlike you, who are spending an exorbitant amount of money (that you do not even actually have, so really it's an exorbitant amount of credit which will hang over you forever until you give up and die) to learn things that you will in all likelihood not even use. But, on the upside, there are parties, and you've figured out the thing about eating a bagel and drinking a ton of water before bed to avoid hangovers.

4. "You're not still living in that same apartment, are you?"

"Apartment" is just a nice way of saying "drywall shoebox." You are still living there and the really sad thing is how much you're paying to do it. The walls are so thin you can hear your neighbor's IM blips above the sounds of The X-Files theme forever issuing from your Gillian Anderson-obsessed roommate's bedroom. You've killed roaches so big other roaches showed up and outlined the body in chalk.

5. "Are you going to make this old lady a great grandmother before she dies?"

Oh boy. Even if you wanted kids, you couldn't afford them. You don't have enough room for all your clothes, let alone a small human and all his or her clothes...unless the baby could maybe live in the closet and you could put your clothes on one of those rolling carts and put that, I don't know, in the living room? But then the bookcase would have to go to the kitchen, and there'd really be nowhere for social services to sit when they inevitably visit when they are tipped off by a nosy neighbor (THANKS GINA) that your baby is living in the closet.

6. "Can I get you something to eat?"

Be careful, this is a trap. If you don't eat whatever she offers, you're rude and/or starving yourself. If you do, you might find yourself on the receiving end of another round of thinly veiled references to your "curves" being the thing keeping you from "finding the right one." So eat something, but only a moderate amount, despite the fact that you actual are super hungry from skipping lunch in favor of a small packet of Cheez-its, an unremarkable tangerine, and a work phone call that involved 10 minutes of soul-numbing hold music.

7. "Is that a TATTOO?"

Yes. It absolutely is.

8. "How's the diet going?"

What diet?

Cruel soul terrifies Internet by sneaking Jar Jar Binks into the new 'Star Wars' film.

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Get ready to cry at the trailer for 'The Force Awakens' again, but for all the wrong reasons.


NOPE.(via murdockmotion/Star Wars on YouTube)

Michael Murdock of MichaelLovesMovies.commight indeed love films, but he might not love us, because he created a version of The Force Awakens trailer that's all about that Binks, about that Binks, no treble.

If you believe in the multiverse — that everything that could exist does exist in a parallel universe — then that means, that in some alternate world, this film has already been made. And people LOVE it. Shudder.

2015 meets 1996: you can get a Tamagotchi on your Apple Watch.

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Bandai Namco has released an Apple Watch-compatible app based on the classic toy.


Least practical of both worlds.(Getty/Bandai Namco)

Millennials, rejoice! Your favorite mid-90s fad is back, but now you can pay much more for it. Tamagotchis, the plastic egg-shaped virtual pets first introduced in 1996, were a staple of many childhoods, including mine. Everyone I knew at school had one, beeping away in their pockets and demanding constant attention. In a way, it was a premonition of the smartphone craze that was still ten years away.

And now, that cycle has come full-circle. Bandai Namco, the makers of Tamagotchi, have had an iPhone app for a while. And now, an Apple Watch version means that your needy virtual pet is never more than a wrist-glance away. You won't even have to get something out of your pocket to feed it, play with it, clean its poop, and inevitably watch it die (or fly away, if you're a wimp).

The best part: unlike the $17.99 price tag of the original Tamagotchi, the app only costs $0.99! And the watch only costs $349! Plus, having a virtual pet on there pretty much erases the Watch's ability to impress people, which is its whole purpose. I guess the appeal just depends on how much you value nostalgia. Hopefully, it's at least $350.

Finally, a drone use we can all get behind: defacing 60-ft tall posters of Kendall Jenner.

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Sure, the last thing we all may hear is the buzzing of a distant killer drone, but at least we can chuckle as they tag members of the Kardashian clan's gigantic product placements.

An enterprising graffiti artist named KATSU figured out how to get a drone to use a spray can. Even though it's rather crude, this could well herald a new era of street art — a new and probably really annoying era of anything being within the reach of taggers. "It turned out surprisingly well," KATSU told Wired, "It's exciting to see its first potential use as a device for vandalism."

Let's just hope future vandals pick targets as responsibly as KATSU did. As a New Yorker, I know this poster. It's a very big poster, and it looms over a very busy and popular intersection at the entrance to the fashionable (and completely played out for about 20 years now) neighborhood of SoHo. Even if you like Kardashians and Jenners, it's just one of those gigantic billboards that makes you say "ugh, jeez, did we really need a 60-foot product placement right there?" Not that it's really worse than the other 60-foot posters that adorn that spot, unless you really don't like Kardashians and Jenners.

I hear there's an election coming up. Those have a lot of posters, right? Now if there was only a way for drones to tag horrible campaign ads as they beam through the airwaves. One can only hope.

Alerting all dads: Hootie and the Blowfish reunited last night on David Letterman.

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Well, that's the 90s-est headline I'll write all day.

It's been 21 years since Hootie and the Blowfish made their TV debut with "Hold My Hand," and even though a new tour or album don't look to be in the cards, the band reunites once a year to hold a Homegrown Concert for charity. That doesn't happen until August, but for whatever generous reason, this year they decided to promote it on The Late Show with David Letterman by performing the song that made them famous. Also, it's probably because David Letterman likes Hootie and the Blowfish (I'm sure Steven Colbert does as well).

Disney princesses don't fare too well with the #HowOld bot.

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At least the guy who kisses Sleeping Beauty can feel a little better since she's apparently not a minor after all.

Under the sea / Under the sea! / It's very salty / Your skin gets all saggy / Under the sea!
Ariel's 16, by the way. Don't think too long about the wedding scene at the end.
(via Mashable)

The folks at Mashable had the very Internet idea to put the images of Disney princesses (a permanent Internet favorite) into the very rude age-guessing carnie living inside the website How-Old.net (the Internet's current flash in the pan). Unlike the rest of us, who were deeply offended by how accurate the site can be, the Disney princesses should be upset for a different reason: the machine either thought they were kids or really, really old women (how long was she asleep again, anyway?).


While they believed she was male, Mulan was deemed too old to serve in the army.
Real age: 16. Seriously? (via Mashable)


Rapunzel is way too young to be having dudes ask her to throw down her hair.
Real age: 18. Wow, she's lucky she got a movie made so far past her prime.
(via Mashable)


"I'm not old, I just have resting bitch face, dammit. Literal resting bitch face."
Real age: 16. That's messed up.
(via Mashable)

See more over at Mashable.

Miley Cyrus tries to be the pioneer of dying a new kind of hair on her body.

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Miley dyed her armpit hair pink, and because it's Los Angeles, she did it with a professional colorist.





Pit party wiff @anderssonjj
A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

The only thing that Miley Cyrus could do at this point that I'd find surprising would be totally re-embracing Hannah Montana — that's about it. Thus, it is with little surprise (and mild interest) that I inform you that Miley Cyrus got together with colorist Justin Anderson to dye her new armpit hair pink during a "pit party."







Don't eat the bleach baby
A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on



A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

The ultimate result is that Miley is apparently turning into an early 90s raver. All she's missing is the pacifier — that is, unless you count the giant joints she's smoking in 50% of her Instagram photos as pacifiers. Then she's 90s-rave ready.




#PANK #dirtyhippie
A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on

Nothing to do on Friday night? Wanna play Oregon Trail right now (or any other old game)?

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Here you go. Don't die of dysentery.


(Use your keyboard to control it)

Yeah, that's right. Oregon Trail. Right there. For you. For free. You're welcome! It's Friday night, so let's all sit quietly by ourselves and have a great time.

By the way, the Internet Archive offers literally thousands of old MS-DOS games, arcade games, and console games as part of their mission to preserve the digital history of humanity, and now they're letting us embed them. Thanks, guys.

YouTube star discovers that she has two vaginas.

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22-year-old model and YouTube star Cassandra Bankson went to the doctor because of what she thought was kidney pain — and discovered she has two vaginas.

Cassandra Bankson is a professional model who has struggled with acne since before she was 10. These days, she uses her popular YouTube channel, Diamondsandheels14, to share tips, tricks, and inspiration with others who struggle with acne. But last year, she learned that there was something else that makes her unique, as you can see in the above piece from Barcroft TV— she has two vaginas.

As Bankson explains in the video above (as well as her expanded explanation below, which is very worth checking out), she's always had very bad cramps and irregular periods. But when she saw an ill duck at her grandmother's house a couple of years ago and then experienced some pain in her kidney area, it set in place a chain of events that lead to her discovering that she only had one kidney...and two vaginas.

Bankson hoped that having two vaginas might help explain her acne problem, but according to Dr. Dena Harris, who she visits in the Barcroft TV video above, that's unlikely.

Bankson also said in her explanation video that she's down to answer viewer questions about having two vaginas. If you have a question, you can Tweet her at @SincerelyCass11 or comment on her YouTube video, and she might answer it in a future video.

Weekend

More of the best examples of people on social media who should really stop drinking.

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First post from a new werewolf.(via lamebook)

If you get mind-meltingly drunk and don't post about it somewhere on social media, did it even really happen? (It did, but not having the evidence makes it so much easier to lie to yourself). This is a collection of people who should either cut down on their drinking or their smartphone addiction.



¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (don't worry, he got arrested)



Hungover you is never going to read that.(via lamebook)



What a rip-off.(via failbook)



Depends on how many Pringles.(via lamebook)



At least he recycles.(via Online Dates I Didn't Go On)



Your phone always remembers.(via lamebook)



Was it face up or face down? Also, were you face up or face down?(via lamebook)


Maybe he follows you on Snapchat.(via Elite Daily)



I would also be mortified to have a Hanna Montana bunk bed.(via lamebook)



"Drunk Jess, you've let me down for the last time."(via BuzzFeed)


As long as it doesn't sound like every day, you're OK. (via lamebook)



A man of his word.(via reddit)



Charming performance review. (via lamebook)



Sometimes Mom needs to cut loose.(via Twitter)


Let's hope Henry is as full of shit as this guy was full of liquor. (via lamebook)



I hope he left a yelp review of their delicious toilets.(via BuzzFeed)


You got 1/4 of the way to assembling a mutant fighting team.(via lamebook)



"There's no time for that!"(via reddit)


An extreme way to stop yourself from drunk dialing. (via lamebook)



His car and closet? He probably ruined most of his clothes.(via lamebook)



Past-Maddy should hang out with Drunk Jess.(via lamebook)



Still, that's a pretty lucky fish.(via lamebook)


This selfie stick looks like a human arm so you'll look like a person who's not sad and alone.

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Oh, how sweet!(photo: Aric Snee)

Selfies are inherently sad. They've recently become incredibly popular, so the underlying pathos of taking a picture of yourself because there's no one around to take it for you has been muted somewhat, but it's still there. Don't fool yourself. And adding a selfie stick into the equation just makes it sadder. Buying one is literally investing in a future without photo-partners.

This selfie arm, though... Wow, this increases the sadness levels exponentially.


Oh. How... weird.(photo: Aric Snee)

To be fair, this is the product of artist/designers Aric Snee and Justin Crowe, who seem more interested in a statement about narcissism in the age of social media than they are in getting their fiberglass hands into the hands of every U.S. consumer.


Oh! How much does this cost?(photo: Aric Snee)

In fact, they're only making ten of these selfie arms, with each one selling for $6,200 dollars.

If that seems a bit pricey to you, don't worry. You can probably make one yourself for under $20.

7 people who are going totally bonkers over the royal baby.

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Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby girl, and everyone is losing their minds.


Remember when there was only one royal baby? (via Getty)

There's a new royal baby in town and she is taking over your news feed. The Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a daughter, and both mother and baby are "doing well." Do you know who else is doing well? Every single person in all of England. In fact, they're not just "doing well," they are going absolutely crazy over the birth of this baby. Although the baby's name has yet to be announced, the reaction she's causing across the land leads me to believe one day she will rule the world (probably with Blue Ivy Carter). Here are 7 people (and objects) proudly showing off their royal baby insanity.

1. This amazing couple.


2. The Royal Navy.


3. This guy making the birth announcing.


4. The entire Tower Bridge.


5. Politician Nigel Farage.


6. This magnificent human.


7. Everyone at British Airways.

'The Avengers: Age of Ultron,' but with adorable kittens.

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Behold the cinematic juggernaut that could have been.

It's not often that you see Marvel Studios seriously drop the ball on one of their tent-pole movies, but this is definitely one of those times. Sure, Avengers: Age of Ultron is getting good reviews and is on track to become the highest grossing film of all time. But writer/director Joss Whedon made one crucial error: he cast the film with a bunch of boring Hollywood movie stars instead of pack of bewildered and distracted baby cats. Luckily, Catvengers: Age of Furrtron came along to pick up the slack.

So close, Marvel. So, so close.


Dog proves she is a terrible driver by crashing a car into a pool.

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A black lab named Caroline accidentally crashed her owner's car into a pool.


This dog may have been inspired by Furious 7. (via WRAL)

Michael and Ruth Smith of Erwin, N.C. like to bring their black lab Caroline with them everywhere because she is such a sweetheart. I mean, look at that face! I'd bring her everywhere, too.

Unfortunately, Caroline got spooked while Ruth was driving through a grocery store parking lot. The dog jumped down to the floor of the truck, forcing Ruth to hit the gas pedal. They couldn't get Caroline off the pedal, and the '88 Dodge Ram careened through a fence and into a swimming pool.

It's a shame the Smiths' sweet ride got totalled by the crash, and luckily no dogs or humans were hurt in this pretty hilarious car wreck. John McNamara, the pool's owner, although shocked to find a truck in his pool, was just glad no one was hurt. The Smiths don't blame Caroline either, they know it was a crazy accident.

Wait, so a car crashes into a pool and nobody is upset? No one is suing each other? The dog isn't even claiming any emotional damages? Is this even America?

I suggest watching the news video if you want to see just how adorable Caroline is.

Seasonal

Let Matt LeBlanc serenade you with the joyous songs of Joey Tribbiani.

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Matt LeBlanc channels the musical stylings of Joey Tribbiani on 'The Graham Norton Show.'

Get ready to have two of Joey Tribbiani's famous songs from Friends stuck in your head for the rest of the day. During an interview on BBC One, Graham Norton asks LeBlanc if he remembers any of the song from the Friends-created musical Frued! LeBlanc responds "Unfortunately, I do," but for a split second his eyes say, "Will I ever stop being Joey Tribbiani?" He then gives a flawless performance that manages to trump the original musical number from the ill-fated Frued!

And who can forget the time Joey sang to his identical hand-twin in a Vegas casino?! Luckily, LeBlanc has the song safely tucked away in his brain forever and could grace us with a beautiful rendition of "This Hand Is Your Hand." Here are the lyrics so you can sing along:

This hand is your hand,
This hand is my hand,
No wait that's you hand,
Oh no that's my hand.

Good luck getting this song out of your head, and have a great Sunday!

Some guy got his dad to reenact all the taunt moves from Super Smash Bros.

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Things like this are why dads were invented.

If there's one thing that dads generally excel at, it's being embarrassing. Whether it's the weird things they say on social media or the weird things they choose to put on their bodies, you can bet that it's going to cause intense mental discomfort for their kids. I can wait until my kids are old enough to hate being seen with me. It's gonna be the very best!

Once in a while, a kid figures out how to harness the weirdness of dads to make something magical. And when they do, they end up with something like this video that comedian Nick Luciano made of his father reenacting all the taunt moves from the video game Super Smash Bros.

Scarlett Johansson stars in Marvel's first female-focused rom-com superhero movie.

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"For Black Widow, falling in love can be hard, but it can also be... incredible!"

We've been waiting a long time for Marvel Studios to finally put a female character front and center in one of their wildly successful superhero movies. Now I see why they've kept us waiting. They obviously spent a lot of time and effort hammering out the perfect story and script to entice the lady comic book fans. And, wow, did it pay off! This is why Marvel is what it is.

This is gonna be so much better than DC's When Wonder Woman Met Doctor Psycho.

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