1. America Wants Harriet Tubman On The $20 Bill, Probably To Piss Off Its Sexist, Racist Uncle
Civil rights icon and slavery abolitionist Harriet Tubman topped an unofficial online poll asking Americans which woman they'd like to see replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. As awesome as that would be, considering the continued gender inequality in the country, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up on a $15.60 bill instead.
Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill? Way to make the presidents feel awkward when they're stuffed in the same wallet.
— River Clegg (@RiverClegg) May 13, 2015
2. Radio Shack Finally Finds Something People Want To Buy—Your Email Address
The Standard General hedge fund recently made a $15 million bid to purchase the Radio Shack store brand name as well as all of the email addresses it collected from customers over the years. So, remember that time you went in there to buy a converter plug for that hookah you picked up in the Netherlands? Your address is probably part of the deal.
Radio Shack is going under, Shake Shack is doing great. The effectiveness of naming your business "Shack" remains undetermined.
— Matt Nedostup (@nedostup) March 12, 2015
3. 'Jem And The Holograms' Movie Is Just Like The Original Cartoon, Except Not Like It At All
Hey, remember that cartoon from '80s about a regular woman who, along with her friends, is transformed into a rock goddess by a holographic supercomputer, and then they have to fight an evil rival band called the Misfits? Yeah? No? Doesn't matter, because this movie adaptation of Jem and the Holograms has absolutely nothing to do with that.
You could've just made a movie about a girl band. I would have helped you come up with character names. You didn't have to take Jem from me.
— Emily V Gordon (@thegynomite) May 13, 2015
4. Colorado Hotel To Provide Customers With Weed, Just Like Every Other Place In Colorado
Bud + Breakfast is the first hotel in Colorado that is specifically designed to cater to all of the people who are flocking to the state to take advantage of its new legal status for marijuana. It features a breakfast in which "Eggs are cracked and bowls are packed," and a ""4:20 Happy Hour" so customers can get stoned before going out to get stoned.
"Wake and bake" is like Plan B for a baby that could have been a productive day.
— Trevor S (@trevso_electric) October 14, 2012
5. We're One Step Closer To Letting You Upload Your Brain Directly Into PornHub
Researchers at the MicroNano Research Facility in Melbourne, Australia have created an electronic memory cell that seems to work in the same manner that a biological cell in the human brain does. "This is the closest we have come to creating a brain-like system with memory that learns and stores analog information and is quick at retrieving this stored information," the leader of the project told Science Daily. Unfortunately, this probably won't lead to the downfall of human civilization in time to stop the 2016 presidential election. Fingers crossed for 2020, though.
If twitter-bots are any indication, we are a looong ways off from any real artificial intelligence threat.
— batkaren (@batkaren) May 10, 2015