Drinking
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Watch a jerkass seagull steal some guy's fish right out of his mouth.
This thieving sea bird remains on the loose. Keep your herring behind locked doors.
This is a hard video to watch, especially if you're a fan of herring. Sure, this was recorded in the Netherlands, but it could be anywhere. This could be your town, your street, you living room. That's why we must be ever vigilant against the flying menace of seagulls.
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The Starbucks employee whose rant went viral has a logical explanation for screaming at a customer.
A Starbucks employee in Queens was caught on camera screaming at a customer and now she's telling her side of the story.
The Starbucks employee, who identifies herself as "Melissa," explained to Pix 11 why she yelled at a customer last week. The video of the rant, which was directed towards customer Ruby Chen, went viral on Facebook, but Melissa said it only "tells one side of the story." Melissa claims the customer called her names, pointed a cookie straw at her face, and proceeded to get other customers involved in the fight. It all sounds pretty terrible, so it makes sense that Melissa quit after the incident.
What we don't know is how annoying the customer was being, or how many awful customers she has had to deal with in the five years she's worked at Starbucks. Melissa said she's dealt with disrespectful customers before, and someone even threw a log at her. A log! Why are people throwing logs in Starbucks?
Here is the original video of Melissa's epic rant:
Help to share this too much attitude at Starbuck on grand ave 86-51 Broadway elmhurst New York 11373 on Tuesday may 12th ,2015 her name is Melissa she called the cop and the cop told Chinese lady to complain online . She didn't act like manager and all the time she has high attitude to the customer
Posted by Pennapa Castro on Tuesday, May 12, 2015
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A guy's "friend" tricked him into walking into a stranger's house. The fallout is the best/worst part.
Ah, the old trick your friend into becoming a home intruder prank. Classic!
Apparently, this guy told his friend (and I use that term very loosely here) that he was in the middle of a video game and that the friend should just open the front door, walk in and make himself at home. Only, he had given the friend the address of the house across the street from his, so that he could film the friend's terrified reaction when he figured out that something wasn't right.
Breaking and entering has never been so hilarious!
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Are you offended by the controversial Louis C.K. 'SNL' monologue everyone is talking about?
Watch Louis C.K. deliver a very Louis C.K. 'SNL' monologue.
Racism. The Middle East. Pedophiles. These are the topic Louis C.K. covered in his monologue on the season finale of SNL last night. His jokes were controversial. They were also very well written jokes. Some people used Twitter to tell the world they were offended, while others defended his honor in the name of comedy. Today, every news outlet is writing about his monologue, meaning Louis C.K. succeeded in being a famous comedian.
Hi everyone, before you tweet that you were upset about Louis CK's SNL thing, please remember that it doesn't matter that you were upset
— Eddie Brawley (@ebrawley) May 17, 2015↧
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White tiger cubs celebrate their first birthday in the most adorably metal fashion ever.
"HELLO, CLEVELAND! WE ARE TIGER BIRTHDAY BLOODCAKE!" - Me, introducing my new band after watching this video.
Jeremy and Simon are one year old, and they celebrated in the way adorable killing machines do best: slobbering down some frozen bloodcake (and some raw chicken and watermelon). Jeremy and Simon live at The Wildcat Sanctuary in Sandstone, MN, a no-kill, non-profit wildlife refuge. Since they're so humongous and badass, however, the Wildcat Sanctuary is in the middle of holding a fundraiser to build them a pool to cool off in the day and establish a bigger area for them to roam around in. You can help that cause by donating here.
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You are going to want to watch this video of tortoises eating tiny pancakes.
Four tortoises eat little stacks of pancakes for your viewing pleasure.
You probably didn't know you needed to see tortoises trying out pancakes for the first time, but now you know that you definitely need to see it. The people over at BuzzFeed Blue decided to push their brunch agenda on some reptiles, and the result is totally adorable. They're not sure at first, but these guys end up loving their tiny carb-loaded short-stacks.
The tortoises' names are Oz, Tails, George, and Ralph, in case you needed any baby name ideas.
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A man recorded his farts for his homesick brother. One was so beautiful he turned it to song.
Yeah, you read that right. You read that exactly right.
According to redditor lozzobear, "My brother moved away from town, and I was missing him. So I started texting him farts to let him know I love him. This would have been in the first dozen or so, but the second it came out I knew it was special." That might be an understatement. This is the kind of ephemeral musical inspiration that drove Mozart to insanity with brilliance and drove Salieri to insanity with jealousy. Except, you know, with his butt.
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This all-new, full-length episode of 'Seinfeld' may be better than the originals.
"Of course, I'm happy that she's alive....but that relationship never should have been resurrected!"
Earlier this month, in the basement that hosts New York's famed Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, the sketch team Bellevue did the impossible: they created an entire episode of Seinfeld ("The Leaning Susan") that was so good, you never even wished for a second you were watching the real show instead. It was gold, Jerry, gold.
Listen, when it comes to the list of "things I'm reluctant to ask people to click on," number one with a bullet is "taped recordings of live comedy performances." So, believe me when I say that this is one of the best pieces of comedy I have ever seen, period. I was a performer at that theater and have watched shows there since 2006, and even though I just happened to stumble upon this randomly online, it brought back all the magic of first seeing really good comedy there. I realize that's a huge disclaimer, as is the fact that I came up with and love all the performers, whom you should immediately go follow on social media:
Cast:
Noah Forman as Jerry
Cathryn Mudon as Elaine
Dru Johnston as George
Michael Antonucci as Kramer
Joanna Bradley as Susan
Laura Willcox as Anastasia
Matt Moskovciak& Nathan Min as Businessmen
Glenn Boozan as Salon Receptionist
Claire Downs as Waitress
Writers:
Matt Moskovciak, Glenn Boozan, Dru Johnston, Claire Downs, Melinda Taub, and Nathan Min.
But I don't care how big a disclaimer it is that these are my friends and my old theater. This was awesome.
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Ending prematurely.
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The son of a fallen police officer lost an auction for his dad's squad car. Then something amazing happened.
A stranger came through for Tanner Brownlee when he least expected it.
Tanner Brownlee was 15 when his father, Sheriff's Deputy Sam Brownlee, was killed in a shootout. In the five years since then, he and his brother Chase have collected every memento they can to remember their father by. So when Deputy Brownlee's squad car went up for auction, Tanner felt compelled to bid on it.
The 2010 Dodge Charger with 147,000 miles was valued at $12,500, but Tanner was willing to pay more. After all, there's no Blue Book value on memories. Still, he wasn't prepared to pay the $60,000 the car fetched on the day of the auction. It was bought by a man Tanner had never met, local rancher Steve Wells.
For a moment, Tanner's hopes were dashed. A very brief moment. No sooner was Wells declared the winner than he handed the keys over to the young man, saying, "Tanner, here's your car."
Wells declined an interview after the auction, presumably riding off into the sunset on a white horse. Tanner also rode off in a white ride, but one with considerably more power. Let's hope he treats it well for years to come. That's what his dad would have wanted. And for him to obey all traffic laws.
All proceeds from the auction went to the Concern of Police Survivors (COPS), a national organization providing support services to the families of officers lost in the line of duty.
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The 5 questions I have after learning about the Mpreg community, where men fantasize about male pregnancy.
The Internet is a vast and wondrous place. Here is a thing I found in it. You're welcome.
What does it say about me that my first reaction was to start making "bones" puns?(via ApplePie1989)
1. What is Mpreg?
Mpreg is a community of men who fantasize about the possibility of male pregnancy. There are a lot of fan fiction stories (yes, mostly about Star Trek characters) and drawings (yes, mostly cartoon/anime characters).
People seem conflicted about which of the 'Supernatural' guys would impregnate the other.(via bt_kady)
2. Is this porn?
Kinda? It depends what you mean. A lot of the pieces are homoerotic, but a lot don't feature sex and are focused solely on a male being pregnant and/or giving birth.
Mark, don't be a tough guy. You're too far along to be working. (via Slide)
Pro tip: If you show this to an MRA person, their head will explode. (via Buggy Girl)
3. If it's not porn, why is this happening?
Why does anything happen on the Internet? Because a small group of people become obsessed with it.
But also, I think I get (part of) it: Childbirth is a huge and meaningful experience for half the population that the other half will just never be able to relate to. Imagine if half the population got to be shot into space for a day, which was extremely painful and inconvenient but also life-changing. Wouldn't you feel like you missed out on something if you weren't in that half?
For sure would have made 'Age of Ultron' watchable.(via puking-mama)
4. I'm having a lot of feelings. Which of them are right and which are wrong?
We're all having a lot of feelings about this. There's something really striking about the image of a pregnant man. That said, just be cool about it and let everyone feel the way they want to about it. After all, a lot of mainstream people worship a fictional work about a man with magic powers who died to save everyone and then came back as a spirit: Obi Wan Kenobi.
This could have been someone's religious studies senior thesis.(via Zenia)
5. Have they ever seen the movie 'Junior'?
They must have, right? I found shockingly little mention of the film on the forums given that it must be the first thing out of anyone's mouth when they talk to them. Maybe they all hate Junior and have agreed to never speak about it. In that sense, at least, the Mpreg community is just like all other communities.
This man was Governor of my home state. Not related to this piece, just have to point that out.(via Wikipedia)
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A breakdown of where every ridiculous wedding guest will be seated.
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See if you can name every smokin' hot famous lady in Taylor Swift's 'Bad Blood' video.
You are going to love how many cameos there are in Taylor Swift's new music video.
The dark eyeliner is how you know she means business. (via Vevo)
It's like Where's Waldo but for gorgeous females. It's like if Die Hard was made to pass the Bechdel Test. It's the pop-star-produced action movie we've all been waiting for.
Taylor Swift cast all her famous lady friends in this fiery, action/sci-fi/thriller of a music video. At first I had trouble imagining the perfectly poised Swift as a villain, but she pulled it off. Really, really well. She also managed to find a balance between making a somewhat self-indulgent yet feminist piece of art. Two thumbs up.
From watching 'Bad Blood' you'll learn that women can do everything men can do, and look better doing it. For example:
1. A woman can plan a heist then double-cross her partner and try to murder her.
2. A woman can smoke a cigar.
3. A woman can fall out a window onto a parked car and not die.
4. A woman always fixes her lipstick after she knocks somebody out.
5. Some women (Hailee Steinfeld) are actually three people!
OK, now watch the video.
Here's the full list of badass women in 'Bad Blood', courtesy of The Independent: Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Karlie Kloss, Kendrick Lamar,Martha Hunt, Jessica Alba, Serayah, Lena Dunham, Hailee Steinfeld, Ellie Goulding, GiGi Hadid, Hayley Williams, Zendaya , Lily Aldridge , Ellen Pompeo, Mariska Hargitay, Cara Delevingne, Cindy Crawford, Selena Gomez.
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The world's best cat owner made this whack-a-mole game for cats.
Teaching the cats to use the foam mallet is going to be the toughest part.
Any good cat owner knows you have to stimulate your cat's tiny brain with lots of fun and confusing toys. One crafty cat-lover in Japan has built her two cats their very own whack-a-mole game using some dowel rods, some toy mice, and an old Super Mario Brother's play set. Someone should tell these two feline friends that reaching into the mole hole is a big foul. It's practically whack-a-mole goal tending.
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The actual contents of every office fridge.
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Worst friends ever make groom a beard out of their own pubes for his bachelor party.
Beards are enjoying a cultural moment right now, but this is going a step too far.
Posted by Steve West on Friday, May 15, 2015
It's not easy for some guys to grow a beard. Mark Longley from Surrey, UK recently grew a beard in the most repugnant way possible—by letting his friends glue their pubic hair to his face. The "reason" for the stunt was Mark's bachelor party, so sorry ladies, he's taken!
Posted by Steve West on Friday, May 15, 2015
You would usually never hear about these kinds of stag party shenanigans (mostly because the only time a groom gets pubes on his face at a bachelor party is if he pays extra in the champagne room), but these guys are social media savvy. Mark's best man, Steve West, not only documented the whole thing, but helpfully uploaded the pictures to Facebook saying, "Personally I think he looks like a bit of a plonker" ("plonker" is ridiculous British slang for, let's say, "pube werewolf").
Posted by Steve West on Friday, May 15, 2015
They also put him in clown shoes, duct taped him to a wheelchair, and gave him a cabbage to hold, because that's what friends do when you... owe them a large sum of money? Lost a bet? Are being blackmailed? I have no idea. Friends don't let friends glue their crotch fuzz to their faces.
Posted by Steve West on Friday, May 15, 2015
Luckily, he escaped:
Not even 3pm and Mark Longley has gone through a whole roll of gaffer tape escaping the wheel chair.
Posted by Steve West on Friday, May 15, 2015
Here's their trip to a local nursing home (best bachelor party ever!):
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Article 39
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This Sikh man broke his religious code to save a child who got hit by a car.
A selfless decision to break religious protocol earns man praise from around the world.
Harman Singh , who took off his turban to help a child involved in an accident in NZ ... Respect u Sir pic.twitter.com/08WJtYq9EL
— Dr.Tahir Zaidi (@DrTahirZaidi) May 17, 2015Harman Singh was in the right place at the right time to help save a 5-year-old child's life. After being struck by a car, the boy was bleeding from his head. While many came to the boy's aid, it was Singh who removed his turban to help stop the bleeding.
Singh, a 22-year-old from India studying in New Zealand, is a Sikh. Having your head covered in public is a very strict rule. However, with a young boy in need of help and the child's mother standing by and watching, Singh knew he had to do something, even if it meant breaking religious protocol.
Harman Singh, world-reknowned great guy. (via Michael Craig, New Zealand Herald)
Being photographed without his turban in public could have created controversy in the Sikh community. However, the Sikh community does make allowances for religious rules when it comes to saving a life.
Singh has received international praise, but he remains humble. He told the New Zealand Herald, "Total strangers are asking to be friends on Facebook and thousands of people have said 'Well done'. I was only doing what I had to and trying to be a decent member of the community."
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Deuce is the app that lets you schedule your day around your poops.
We wish this was real.
Our traffic analytics allow us to see what percentage of you are reading the site on your phones from the comfort of a toilet seat, and it's 100%.
Hi reader. How's that poop going? Hopefully, you're feeling relaxed and not rushed by the knowledge you have a meeting in five minutes.
You'd never have that kind of scheduling conflict if you were using the Deuce app. It gives you 24-hour advance notification of when to expect a poo, and then rearranges your calendar so you've got plenty of time. My only complaint about the app is that it's a sketch written by The Bilderbergers and not a product I can download right this second.
This isn't the first time the group has addressed the important topic of pooping. Here are "8 Great Poop Hacks" you need to know about. You might as well click. We both know you're going to be here for a while.
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