Rev. Warren Hall was the director of the Office of Campus Ministry at Seton Hall University, one of the country's oldest Catholic colleges. He's not anymore, because he was fired for not hating gay people.

Seton Hall, Warren Hall. No relation. (Via NY Daily News)

Last week, Rev. Warren Hall posted a picture to Facebook (since removed) of himself supporting the "NO H8" campaign. Unfortunately, Hall's casual, public support of a movement that aims to get people to hate other people less does not quite jibe with the Catholic Church's stance on the issue, which is that gay people are icky and weird and the devil. On Friday, Hall posted the tweet above, announcing he'd been fired by the Archdiocese of Newark, which makes all of Seton Hall's personnel decisions.

The Catholic Church is probably anti-volleyball, too. (Via Facebook)

While the Archdiocese has no comment on the matter, more than 600 students have already signed a petition demanding that Hall be reinstated, more or less bringing up that SHU is on the wrong side of history, especially since even Pope Francis has significantly softened the Church's tone on gay rights.

And as far as Rev. Hall is concerned, dude's not even mad:

Grateful for all the support. Dont be angry!! Turn this into an opportunity for open/reasonable discussion on LGBT issues on a Cath Campus.
— Warren Hall (@Warrmeister) May 15, 2015

Two Columbia MFA students discover they are long-lost sisters during an ice-breaker conversation in class.

Lizzie Valverde (left) and Katy Olson (right) became sisters without rushing Delta Delta Delta.(via Fox8.com)

Lizzie Valverde and Katy Olson started at Columbia as two students from different parts of the country simply seeking masters degrees, but ended up reuniting as family.

On the first day of a new class Valverde and Olson were both enrolled in, the class was asked to introduce themselves. Usually, these icebreaker conversations merely help kill a half hour on the first day of classes. Valverde introduced herself briefly, telling the class she was adopted as a child and is now a mother to a daughter of her own. She also weirdly mentions her Olson Twins fanaticism.

The details sounded so familiar to Olsen, who knew a few details about her biological family and her adoption. The details of Valverde's story matched up with the information Olsen had on her biological mother and possible older sister. The New York Times accounts how, after class, Olsen stopped Valverde to confirm her suspicions.

So she approached Ms. Valverde after class and began blurting out such detailed questions about her personal life — about her maiden name, if she had been adopted in Florida and whether she lived in New Jersey — that Ms. Valverde, who never knew she had a biological sister, was stunned.
“I think we're sisters," Ms. Olson recalled saying.
All Ms. Valverde could do was utter, “Is this real life?"

In a strange twist of fate, these two separated sisters ended up not only in the same city, in not only the same city, not only the same university, but the same class! Thanks to this twist of fate, Olson was now able to finally get in touch with her biological mother. Before they met, Valverde had done her own searching and found their mother living in Florida.

TheNew York Times also spoke to the mother of the newly-acquainted sisters, Leslie Parker, who gave up her daughters due to many hardships, including being attacked by serial killer Gary Ray Bowles. Parker is extremely proud of her two daughters, especially for following the same dream she once had of being a writer.

The physical and metaphysical implications of this discovery are both vast and harrowing.

Pardon me. It is not my intention to explode your brain all over the nice clean walls of whatever room you're sitting in, but I'm afraid that's precisely what is about to happen. Scottish filmmaker/artist James Houston had one of the greatest Eureka! moments of human history. Maybe the greatest Eureka! moment, actually. (I mean, Archimedes' water displacement thing is a bit obvious, isn't it?)

It turns out that "Fuck off!" sounds exactly the same backwards as it does forwards.

I know, right?

Come to think of it, that's probably why you can never take a "Fuck off!" back from somebody. It actually just makes things worse.

The International Fund for Animal Welfare documented the first time these two tigers ever encountered a pool.

Don't you hate when your friend takes forever to get in the water?(via IFAW)

Carli and Lily are rescue tigers who live at Safe Haven Rescue Zoo in Nevada. In this video, Kelly Donithan from the International Fund For Animal Welfare visits them for the first time in a year to witness them having a special moment. A new in-ground pool had just been added to their enclosurel, so Donithan brought a camera crew to capture the moment they took a dip for the first time.

Related: Baby elephant loves a bath.

Bathing is an important behavior for tigers in the wild, but this is the first time these two were ever able to experience it in anything resembling a natural body of water. As you can see, the results are magical. Watching this makes me want to swim. Frankly, it makes me want to swim with tigers. I know that's a bad idea, but right now, I'd risk it.

The only thing worse than Common Core.

"This is going to me more than it hurts you, because I get awful heartburn."(via ThinkStock)

Recently, an instructor at a South Korean boarding facility ate a live hamster in front of seven children, but don't worry! It was for their own good.

According to reports, the children were teasing the hamster nearly to death so, the 44 year-old Yu devoured the rodent to teach the children "how dear life is." As he told the Korean Times:

“While watching the hamsters die from teasing, I thought I should teach the children it was wrong to make light of life," he said.

A harsh lesson? Sure (although most kids learn how fragile life is by watching a hamster get devoured by its own mother), but at least give the guy some credit for going the extra mile. Dedicated teachers like Yu are why South Korea repeatedlyranks so much higher in education than the U.S.

If anything, our teachers should be eating more hamsters (plus, they're more nutritious than anything served in the cafeteria).

An alligator rains hot bayou pee on the FOX News studio floor, proving wishes do come true.

FOX & Friends had an alligator on to promote Animal Planet's upcoming "monster week," and it pissed all over the place like it was being fired from Sterling Cooper. The camera may have cut away, but you know that swamp monster was streaming harder than HBOGo during the Game of Thrones finale.I mean, this gator peed so much—how much was it?—this gator peed so much, he solved the California drought crisis.

Also, Steve Doocy made a joke that stank worse than fresh, hot gator piss.

Stephen Colbert delivered the 2015 graduation speech for Wake Forest University, and it was wonderful.

Seated behind Colbert were members of the faculty and the faculty's mustaches.
(via CBSN on YouTube)

Stephen Colbert built a career on swaddling depressing truths in funny jokes, which makes him the perfect person to remind college graduates that they're now TOTALLY ALONE IN THE WORLD (or, at the very least, that they're now totally alone in paying their bills). On Monday, Colbert did just that at the commencement ceremony for Wake Forest University. He began speech with several jokes about college in general...

Of course, we mustn't forget the parents, who, to get you students to this day, have sacrificed so many things, primarily money. I'm sure there are other things they've sacrificed, but I'm gonna guess that money's the one they bring up most often.

...and Wake Forest in particular:

Wake Forest has always been a leader. In the late 19th century, this was among the first Southern schools to teach biology in a lab. Before then, you weren't supposed to learn biology until marriage.

But the meat of Colbert's speech was a lesson that he may have pulled directly from The Colbert Report— that the world isn't black and white, no matter how much we want it to be. There is no real truth. That means we as individuals need to create our own standards and decide what is right for us:

People my age will sometimes say to you, “Hey, that work you did, that thing you said, that cause you championed – it's not good." Well, having your own standards will help you weather moments like that. Having your own standards allows you to perceive success where others may see failure.

500 points to the CBSN live caption person who put this Mad Max-inspired quote on screen. (via CBSN on YouTube)

Colbert continued on to skewer the graduation speech trope of "a famous inventor with a crazy dream" (unfortunately, he didn't also parody graduation speakers who just read Dr. Seuss's Oh, The Places You'll Go from beginning to end — seriously, everyone, you need to stop that):

I'm reminded of one famous inventor who was ridiculed for his dream. But flash forward 15 years to the day. And do we or do we not now all ride Segways to work? We do not, but they are featured prominently in the movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop. That's good, too.

Blart-based humor aside, Colbert also underlined the importance of treating ourselves with kindness when we fail — because we all will. Seriously, all of us. You might even be failing right now as you read this blog post!

Of course, any standards worth having will be a challenge to meet. And most of the time, you will fall short. But what is nice about having your own set of standards is that from now on, you fill out your own report card. So do yourself a favor: be an easy grader. Score yourself on a curve. Give yourself extra credit. You have the power. You are your own professor now. Which I know is a little creepy, because that means you're showering with your professor. But you have tenure. They can't fire you.

You can read the entire speech on Time.com, or watch the video of it below:

And the oscar for best baby goes to... this baby.

Everything the light touches made me bored enough to do this. (via Imgur)

What did new parents do before the Internet? Did they just look at their baby, and think, "Man, I wish this were a movie!"? That's all I can think about as I look at these amazing recreations of movies and TV shows made with a baby. What did you do before being able to post a zillion photos of your offspring for strangers to laugh at? Did they just feed it, and let it sleep? That sounds so boring!

Thank God for bored parents like these who are willing to make their child a star before he even knows what a movie is. Enjoy!

How much rum does it take for a parent to decide to do this? (via Imgur)

Photographic evidence that a baby steered the Titanic into an iceberg.(via Imgur)

If they're scared now, wait until they see what the baby left in his diaper.(via Imgur)

No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to...cry! (via Imgur)

Get the shot before the baby starts...whaling!(via Imgur)

Momma always said... actually, I haven't been alive long enough to know.(via Imgur)

I'm the one who plays with blocks. (via Imgur)

Give me my pacifiers! (via Imgur)

The parents were ready to drive off a cliff from boredom until they thought of taking this picture.(via Imgur)

Just when you thought it was safe to get out of your crib! (via Imgur)

Being at home alone is exactly what allowed these parents to become bored enough to try this project.(via Imgur)

Batbaby doesn't need a disguise because all babies look the same.(via Imgur)

I wish my parents could go back in time and do this for me. (via Imgur)

I was hoping they'd make the baby do the dance from this.(via Imgur)

Great. Now that baby knows about drugs! (via Imgur)

King Kong is actually a weird metaphor for what it's like to be a misunderstood baby.
(via Imgur)

This one genuinely pulls at my heart, though.(via Imgur)

More traumatizing to a baby than seeing 'Alien' is being in twenty separate photo shoots.(via Imgur)

Wilson is the only friend this baby has left now that his odd parents scared everyone away.(via Imgur)

See even more here.

Reports claim that women were prevented from attending gala events at the prestigious festival because they weren't wearing high heels.

Watching a movie without uncomfortable shoes? How uncivilized.(stock photo)

Since 1946, the Cannes International Film Festival has been at the forefront of cinema. Showcasing films and filmmakers from across the globe, the invitation-only event is widely considered the most prestigious film festival in the world. The problem is that it's also a stodgy snooze-fest where a bunch of pretentious old European farts can live out their fantasy of deciding what movies people should be allowed to like. Now, however, it's their taste that's being criticized.

A number of festival-goers are reporting that women have been turned away from screenings at the festival because their shoes weren't high enough. Apparently, the "hosts" (security guards) at Cannes are instructed to strictly enforce the festival's unwritten dress code, which mandates tuxedos and bow ties for men, and dresses with heels for women. How you can strictly enforce an unwritten rule is lost on me. Christine Aime, a spokeswoman for the festival, told NBC News that the staff had made a mistake:

"There is no specific mention about the height of the women's heels as well as for men's. Thus, in order to make sure that this rule is respected, the festival's hosts and hostesses were reminded of it."

Perhaps they should have been reminded to have some class. Reports are claiming that several women over 50, some with medical conditions, were turned away at a screening of Carol, a lesbian romance film starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara. Cannes is making an effort to feature movies like Carol this year, in response to claims of sexism by the festival organizers. That one sure backfired on them.

The cast and director of Sicario (footwear not pictured).(Getty)

Emily Blunt, attending the festival to premiere her movie Sicario, had some harsh comments. She called the news "very disappointing," adding, "I think everyone should wear flats." Denis Villeneuve, the director of the film, joked that he would wear heels to the premiere as a protest, along with the male stars Benicio del Toro and Josh Brolin.

Others from the world of film are coming down hard on Cannes too. Janet Pierson, the head of film at the South by Southwest Festival, tweeted this:

Why I don't go to Cannes RT Women denied Palais entry for wearing flats http://t.co/AEzcE425Nb
— Janet Pierson (@JanetPierson) May 19, 2015

It looks like the folks at Cannes have a lot of backpedaling to do if they want to seem like they're living in the 21st century. Or they could just go whole hog and demand whale-bone corsets and chastity belts. Also, all the movies would be silent.

Deaf Russian dancer Andrei Dragunov puts on an amazing show while sitting at the dinner table.

This is some amazing stuff. I always thought my hands were impressive because I could uncap a pen and put the cap on the other end with one hand. Actually, I still think that's impressive. You try it!

But compared to Andrei Dragunov, my hands are hooves. This guy has the dexterity of ten men. What's more, he proves that being able to hear is not a prerequisite for having rhythm. It's inspirational.

Imagine how fast he types, too! I need to stop geeking out over this.

Related: Dog dances with his ears.

"How many times does one go into zero?"

If the schoolhouse is a rockin', don't come a knockin'.(via WSB-TV)

A middle school math teacher was recently fired for allowing his students to turn the classroom closet into a makeshift fuckatorium. Quentin Wright of Dekalb County, Georgia was let go from Champion Middle School after the mother of one of his unnamed (male) students found a disturbing exchange of texts between the two hammering out the logistics of the extra-extracurricular activity. As she told WSB-TV:

“He told my son you can have it from 7:30 to like 8:30."

Totally outrageous! An entire hour for two middle school kids? C'mon, they'll need it for ten minutes, tops.

Good thing he's not an English teacher.(via WSB-TV)

After Wright told the student he didn't have any condoms, the teenager requested that he purchase a 3-pack of Trojan ENZ, but it's unclear if he ever followed through (personally, I think teachers already buy enough of their classroom supplies). Wright also offered to play something (educational?) on his laptop to cover up any noises of frenzied disappointment and told the student to make sure his partner in fornication knew not to tell anyone. (But what about making sure she really loves him for him??)

There's an arrest warrant out for Wright, so he may be spending some time in a darkened room at a different state facility soon, but at least he didn't eat a hamster in front of anyone.

Here's the report, from WSB-TV:

If TV, radio, websites, magazines, social media, and billboards haven't sufficiently immersed your child in Kim and Kanye, now there's this: Kanye West's "Bound 2" video reimagined as a children's book.

It's the perfect gift for your li'l Harvey Levin in training. (via Zak Tebbal)

If your sweet pea is too green for Kanye's songs, artist and graphic designer Zak Tebbal has a solution: translating Kanye's music videos into children's books. In this case, the song is "Bound 2," an epic ballad of love, going to the club on a Thursday, and fucking hard on the sink. Or, in the book version, a cute story about Kanye West really liking a small chicken.

It's easy to be cool when you're Yeezus. (via Zak Tebbal)

I want so badly to see a Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode that takes place entirely in a chicken coop. (via Zak Tebbal)

I also want "Kanye was surrounded by chickens" to be a literal, real-world thing.
(via Zak Tebbal)

To be fair, Kim, it only looked like they were playing; he was actually telling them about his fashion philosophy. (via Zak Tebbal)

You can read the rest of the book on Zak's site.

Rapper Layzie Bone was driving to a show in Wyoming when another car started swerving and then crashed — and Layzie was one of the first on the scene.

Layzie and other concerned drivers stopped to help the man, who turned out to be a 24-year-old in diabetic shock. In an interview with Wyoming's KTWO News,* Layzie said,

He didn't know who anybody was. So I asked, "Do you know Bone Thugs-N-Harmony?" and he kinda woke up. He was like, "Yeah, that's my group!"

Layzie and the other drivers gave the man food to help raise his blood sugar and waited with him until paramedics arrived.

Here's what Layzie posted on Instagram about the incident:

Dear Lord, thank you for your mercy, grace and forgiveness for 2nd chances. We just witnessed a man 24 years old driving super erratically from Casper Wyoming to Riverton Wyoming. We thought he was a drunk doing 60mph when he spun out of control and did a complete 180• degrees, Thank God he didn't flip he was 30 ft in front of us. Turns out after we stopped to check on him he was having a diabetic shock. Thanks to the EMS on the scene that happens to be driving right behind us from Indiana and the cute old couple in the RV for the apples and oranges we gave him. My heart is still racing. Again, thank you Jahovah for protecting this young man and thanks that we didn't have to witness the worse. @TONYBFBG WHEW now let's do this show. Be safe people Layzie loves ya.
A photo posted by Steven Howse (@the_real_layzie_bone) on May 16, 2015 at 4:02pm PDT

I'm just glad Layzie was there to help keep this young man away from the (yes, you know where this is going) crossroads:

* You really should watch the news video at the top to see the very straightforward journalistic presentation of "He's been known as the #1 Assassin and Li'l Lazy" and, later in the video, "...but Layzie Bone wasn't lazy."

Over the course of the opening credits, the dogs go from content to howling. Maybe they're 'CSI' fans?

I've read some comments suggesting that these dogs are really excited that the Law & Order credits are on. But I say: no! As far as I can tell, these dogs would like to be watching anything else. To that point, I have created a moment-by-moment breakdown of what the dogs appear to be thinking in this video:

:02

Dog 1: "That sounds like the Law & Order credits. Are these guys actually watching Law & Order?"

:06

Dog 2: "No, seriously, you guys. Are you actually planning to watch Law & Order? You know that it's practically the same story every week, right?"

Dog 1: "And there's always a guy moving boxes who provides valuable information."

Dog 2: "Always."

Dog 1: "It's like, why not just ask any yahoo who's moving boxes where the criminal is hiding? These box-moving people know everything!"

:09

Dog 1: "Maybe if we turn around, it'll be something other than Law & Order on the screen."

Dog 2: "Like a commercial for a new show, and the new show's entire hook is 'This show is better than Law & Order.'"

:11

Dog 2: "Nope, that's Law & Order."

Dog 1: "I'll add that to my list of disappointments for the day under 'Received no Beggin' Strips.'"

:15

Dog 1: "I'm gonna try yawning to show I'm not interested."

Dog 2: "Good idea. The best way to solve problems is to make passive-aggressive suggestions."

:20

Dog 2: "Didn't work. Shit. Don't they know that there are other procedural and crime-based shows that provide superior storytelling? Hannibal is a revelation!"

Dog 1: "I'm upgrading this situation to 'whine worthy.'"

Dog 2: "Ditto."

:22 through :52

Both Dogs: "Change the channel! Hey! Hey, change it! That channel! Change it now! Change it! CHAAAAAAANGE it! change IT! Changeitchangeitchangeit."

Apparently, yes. Yes, it did.

this just actually happened. Classic Bill Murray. https://t.co/8NoGBPWKK2
— chelsea hassler (@chelseaadelaine) May 20, 2015

You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen (unless you already saw Chelsea Hassler's tweet): this happened. Bill Murray dropped by The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell tonight in every sense of the word. Not only did he wipe out in the most charming fashion possible right before the commercial break (he was fine, he came right back after commercials), even his introduction was in classic Murray cameo fashion:

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, this happened.