After a recent 'GQ' photo shoot, Chris Pratt was supposed to do a video bit about acting lessons, but he was kind of drunk. So obviously, he still did it.

Chris Pratt: An actor and man so excellent that when people talk about what a load of dino poo Jurassic World is going to be, few implicate him. At worst, he gets labeled as miscast. And now, here's this to add to the reasons why Chris Pratt is excellent: when he got drunk on Fireball during a GQ photo shoot, he didn't say, "Nah, don't put me on video when I'm drunk." He said...well, I don't know what he said. I wasn't there.* But he made this drunk how-to-act video, and it's pretty excellent.

* OR WAS I? J/K, I wasn't.**

** OR WAS I?!?

It's a total head-fake.

Well, lookie here: a dog that for all intents and purposes seemed to be a true moron, and one living out the definition of insanity at that: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. And then, suddenly, he strikes a blow for canine sentience. Good boy.

Call me trashy for putting together this list of upper-butt-area tattoos, but you clicked.

And at the bottom you can see the point at which the tattoo artist said "Nope, that's it. I'm not going any further." (via reddit)

I don't generally approve of calling women, or men (who are also on this list), tramps. However, we've all agreed that a tattoo in this particular location is the stamp of a tramp, so here we are. If we accept the notion that tramp stamps exist, we must also accept the idea that some tramp stamps are better than others. Therefore, some must be worse. Way worse. These are not necessarily the trampiest stamps. I tried not to pick anything NSFW (besides some mild buttcrack action). These are not necessarily the worst-drawn. They are just the not-goodest, the awful-most, the terriblifficest. These are those. I hope everyone involved, including me, is happy with themselves and the world right now

The owner allegedly thinks this tattoo is hilarious. The owner also allegedly thinks.
(via reddit)

"I refuse to be defined by words when an image can say it so well." (via reddit)

I hope those frogs are licensed dermatologists because you should get those moles checked, dude. (via reddit)

"No, having two tramp stamps isn't warning enough...I need to be clear."(via reddit)

On their own, they're whatever. United, these tattoos might have been what convinced Prince to go back to using letters to spell his name.(via reddit)

Love: the only force powerful enough to let someone look the owner of this tattoo in the eye and say "nah, it looks fine." (via reddit)

Kyle is apparently her husband and a beginner tattoo artist. Or was her husband, anyway.
(via reddit)

This is literally an advertisement for regret.(via Mandatory)

You don't need to write it. You just need to hang out around middle-schoolers with your crack showing. (via Pinterest)

Remember that g-string tattoo from up top? It turns out guys can play that game, too, and they can play it way worse:

This looks like a funny mishap from a King of the Hill episode.(via KLAQ)

OK, this one is kinda NSFW, but mostly WTF.

I would never, ever, ever go within a mile of that butt ever again.(via reddit)

Ready for some eyebleach? Here's an actually adorable one.

PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SPOUSE HAS A MATCHING LADY STAMP.(via reddit)

Technically speaking, every waitress is the wrong waitress to sexually harass.

The title of this video translates from Russian as "Rebuffed impudent visitor," but I feel like that kind of undersells what we're seeing. It took me a few times through to figure out exactly what's happening, so allow me to break it down:

0:23 - The impudent visitor attempts to shove something down the waitress' shirt.

0:24 - The waitress strongly rebuffs the impudent visitor.

0:26 - The impudent visitor places his hand on the waitress' back side.

0:27 - The waitress rebuffs the impudent visitor across the face with a menu.

0:30 - After rising, the impudent visitor gets in the waitress' face, behaving in a threatening manner.

0:31 - The waitress delivers another brutal rebuffment across the impudent visitor's face with a menu, knocking him to the ground.

0:32 - The waitress walks away with the impudent visitor's dignity in her teeth.

0:35 - The impudent visitor lies on the ground, writhing in pain and humiliation.

All in all, pretty satisfying video.

It's hard out there for a road comic.

I spent years performing live comedy before I realized it wasn't the life for me. I did improv, I did sketch, I even did a little bit of stand-up. In that time, I had some really bad gigs. Like really bad ones.

I'd have to say that being strapped to the top of a truck as it barrels through a post-apocalyptic wasteland, while motorcycles are flying through the air and everything is exploding all around you... that would probably be pretty bad. It's certainly up there for worst possible gigs. It's not quite as bad as performing at a frat party, but it's certainly close.

One clever groom surprised his bride on their wedding day by having their rings flown down the aisle by an owl.

Next best thing to attending a wizard wedding. (via YouTube)

This feels like the nuptials between Harry and Ginny that J.K. Rowling let her dear readers imagine for themselves when she left them out of the seventh book. Thanks to this creative groom, we get to see a glimpse of a real wizard wedding. It appears the groom and his best man are the only ones who were in on the secret, because the bride, along with all the wedding guests, are genuinely surprised when the rings are delivered to the best man by an owl. This is one of the few times anyone should be OK with being surprised by a bird on their wedding day.

Look how happy this bride is! (via YouTube)

Luckily, the bride is totally fine with the owl sort of stealing attention from her on her wedding day. She's so excited she even gives the groom a kiss before the priest mandated "you may now kiss the bride." My favorite moment is the split second before the owl lands on the best man's hand and it looks like he has bunny ears, because I'm an immature child.

The adorable best-man-bunny. (via YouTube)

Here's the full clip, complete with slow motion and multiple camera angles, enjoy!

Ireland held the first ever nation-wide vote to legalize gay marriage yesterday. The "Yes" side has claimed victory.

Say yes to love. And to jackets made of rainbow flags. And to great hair.
(via Twitter/Twitter)

In what is a historic day for gay civil rights, Ireland has just become the first nation in the world to legalize same-sex marriage by a popular vote. The combination of high voter turnout and thousands of Irish ex-pats flying #HomeToVote helped push the outcome toward supporting the 'yes' side. Votes are still being counted but both sides have said the results are clear: Ireland supports marriage equality.

I hope we replace the export of St. Patrick's Day with the much better holiday of Legalizing Gay Marriage Day. As is customary in these types of epic situations, people on Twitter are justifiably going bonkers.

Minister of State Aodhán Ó Ríordáin called the victory early, then followed with a real gem of a tweet.

I'm calling it. Key boxes opened. It's a yes. And a landslide across Dublin. And I'm so proud to be Irish today. #MarRef
— Aodhán Ó Ríordáin TD (@AodhanORiordain) May 23, 2015

Ireland hasn't just said "Yes"... Ireland has said: "F❤️CK YEAAHHHH"
— Aodhán Ó Ríordáin TD (@AodhanORiordain) May 23, 2015

TwitterQueen J.K. Rowling had something to say, as usual.

Sitting here watching the Irish make history. Extraordinary and wonderful.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 23, 2015

Even conservatives like David Quinn, who campaigned against same-sex marriage, tweeted his support for the nation's decision.

Congratulations to the Yes side. Well done. #MarRef
— David Quinn (@DavQuinn) May 23, 2015

I'll leave you with tweets from a fake Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton.

Gay marriage has been legalized in Ireland today! Lady Gaga's Born This Way was coincidentally released 4 years ago! pic.twitter.com/pUcfF2TTYY
— Lady Gaga (@gagamonster96) May 23, 2015

SO EXCITING!! RT Gay marriage expected to PASS in #Ireland!! http://t.co/V7txjqU4oApic.twitter.com/28bTrqImmK
— Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) May 23, 2015

Germaine Yeap is a decorated Muay Thai champion. She pretended to be a nerdy newbie at a gym in Malaysia and hustled a trainer into a getting his butt kicked.

First of all, the opening sequence of this video will make you want to learn how to fight like this lady. Secondly, it proves that even if you're a professional fighter, all you have to do is don a pair of oversized glasses and coyly shuffle around the gym to disguise years of training. Germaine Yeap delivers a stellar performance as a novice fighter when she asks a male trainer to spar. She even fakes a fall before getting back up and totally kicking his sorry butt.

The real takeaway from this video is that prank-based comedy is still alive and well, as long as it's done by championship fighters and not aspiring comedians.

This could have easily veered into total-dick territory, but the ever-likable Pratt tiptoes across a minefield in this Facebook post.

Apologies if you tried to click on this screenshot. Full text and link to the FB post below.

Chris Pratt has a reputation for being an all-around good guy. He and Captain America (Chris Evans) had a well-publicized on the Super Bowl over who would dress up in their Marvel costume (Pratt was Star Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy) and visit children's hospitals. I don't even remember who won, because they both ended up doing it together. He's also got Amy Poehler's long-standing seal of approval after his many seasons on Parks and Recreation. Those are the kind of bona fides that come in handy if you want to go on Facebook and poke fun at sensitive people for being so darn sensitive. We all know that Pratt is a good guy, and we all know that, even if we generally agree with them, there are some very sensitive folks out there who have gotten good at using social media to whip up outrage firestorms. So good that much like Pratt, I don't think I've been anything less than fantastically vague in this entire writeup. I refuse to apologize for anything, though. That's not true, I'll cave instantly on anything. What did I do? I'm so sorry.

Some might indeed argue that this is problematic because the joke relies on diminishing the issues people get sensitive about. I'm sensitive to this concern, and I think 90% or more of the time, that is exactly where jokes or satire in this vein ends up, and it stinks. However, I'd say that Pratt mostly sticks to the only acceptable version of a joke like this, one that focuses on the fear of being a clueless doofus who is bound to screw up one day, and not on saying "oh, isn't this group or that group so silly for being sensitive."

Here's the full text, in case the image was hard to read for some reason:

I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming ‪#‎JurassicWorld‬ press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s).
I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can't say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don't want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed "JurassicGate" is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen (again).

1.

It's ruff out there. (via BuzzFeed)

2.

"My head is still hot."(via reddit)

3.

It's a car window simulator.(via reddit)

4.

"I think I figured it out!" (via YouTube)

5.

He's diligently guarding the pool.(via imgur)

6.

Just a shady critter taking a dip.(via reddit)

7.

Brew dog.(via imgur)

8.

The perfect fit.(via reddit)

9.

"I'll come out in the fall."

10.

What's better than a pool outside? A pool inside.(via imgur)

11.

Getting cool made this dog lose its cool.(via reddit)

Mario and Luigi's Fury Road would be paved in rainbows and covered in bananas.

It's got fire, and yeah, it's got late '90s video game sound effects.(via YouTube)

The hottest movie of the year just got hotter. Technically it's the "hottest" because it contains the most pyrotechnics, and I'm not sure if this Mario Kart mash-up makes it "hotter," but it definitely makes it really funny. As someone who has yet to see Mad Max, and was not allowed to play video games as a child, the combination of the two is still totally stellar. The Mario Kart characters and soundtrack fit perfectly into the fiery, heavy Mad Max trailer. It's even got bananas!

Points if you don't die engulfed in flames! (via YouTube)

Here's the full trailer. Hint: the best part occurs at 1:41, and you will want to watch it over and over again.

Really looks like these two are having a ball.

I've been to a lot of weddings, and I've seen all kinds of father-daughter dances. Most of them are pretty boring, played out to obvious treacly music choices, like Natalie and Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable." Sometimes, you'll see dances that get a little questionable, like the one I saw in which the dad and bride danced quasi-erotically to Harry Belafonte's "Fever." (There were a lot of uncomfortable looks shot around the room that night, I can assure you.)

This one, though, in which Jim Mickunas and his tomboy-ish daughter Kandice play a game of catch, is definitely the most original. And one of the most touching, especially after you read Mickunas' explanation accompanying the video:

"My daughter has always found her own path. She played Flag football at 6. She hated wearing dresses. She wore a tuxedo to her first communion. She lettered in Soccer and Track. She then became an Engineer for the largest automaker in the world when she was 22. I could not imagine having a traditional father daughter dance with her. That is not what we were or are... So I came up with this. - She had no idea!"

And that's how you do fathering right.

In a moment of classic De Niro, the actor tells recent graduates "You're F**ked" in his commencement speech.

You're prepared for the world, but are you prepared for this speech?(via Twitter)

Robert De Niro was brought to the podium at NYU Tisch's graduation ceremony on Friday, and the first thing he did was dig through his purple gown to find a tissue to blow his nose. That's how chill of a dude he is. One of the first things he said was, "Tisch graduates, you made it," followed by, “and you're f**ked." The hard dose of reality was met with uproarious laughter by the audience.

De Niro gave a heartfelt speech to the recent graduates about passion as an artist, and the importance of maintaining friendships and professional relationships. In regards to the difficulty of pursuing one's dreams, he added, "Yeah you're fucked. The good news is: that's not a bad place to start."

The best bit of wisdom was when De Niro said they were all setting themselves up for lifetime of rejection. This blunt advice should be shared with all graduates. In fact, it's pretty good advice for everyone.

It's nice that Tisch always gets a famous person give their graduation speech so the fresh-faced grads can think about while they're waiting tables.

You can watch the whole speech directly on the Tisch website, it starts at minute 13.

If you said 'Wyoming,' you're really bad at guessing.

The culprit being rescued from himself.(via Local 10)

Here's what you need to know: A guy stripped himself naked and proceeded to climb a rusty, raised drawbridge. Once at the top, he started shouting unintelligible things at the gawking bystanders 100 feet feet below while "waving himself around." It eventually became clear that he couldn't figure out how to get back down by himself, so the local fire department had to spend two hours and untold resources bringing him safely back to the ground, so that he can continue on with his life of doing crazy, reckless nonsense.

Do I need to tell you that this happened in Florida? I'm guessing not. At this point, we're all pretty much programmed to assume "Florida" any time we see the word "naked" in a headline, aren't we?

It's probably a good thing that Floridians mostly keep themselves contained to Florida. If they didn't, every state would be Florida, and then we'd all be Floridians, and you'd probably be reading this while naked on a drawbridge.

Ireland became the first county to legalize gay marriage by popular vote. As the nation celebrated, rainbows appeared in the sky above Dublin.

Rainbows in the sky are competing with rainbows on the ground. (via NYT/IV/Twitter)

Perhaps the rainbows that appeared above Dublin were simply reflections of all the rainbows on the ground. Metaphorically of course, I know that's not how science works. These rainbows were made by the sun's rays passing through water droplets. Or they were created by whichever Greater Being you choose to believe in. I'm going to stop writing so you can enjoy the beautiful images below.

Rainbow at the end of the canvass,last night North Dublin Suburbs #IrelandSaysYes#IrelandVoteYes#irelandreferendumpic.twitter.com/gzk9UFZVDv
— Simy Frant (@SimyFrant) May 23, 2015

Rainbow dominating the Dublin skyline by @Caolanmcaree#3eWeatherpic.twitter.com/CeuyvSGp7b
— Deric Ó hArtagáin (@deric_hartigan) May 22, 2015

There is actually a rainbow over Dublin as the #MarRef results come in across Ireland. Pic via @karltimspic.twitter.com/qX9NAzr5lx
— Ari Shapiro (@arishapiro) May 23, 2015

Jesus shines his rainbow down on Dublin City this morning! #irelandreferendum#MarRefpic.twitter.com/uZSrcV63Il
— LouiseMc (@louiedapalma) May 23, 2015

A racist letter was sent anonymously to a family in Lindenhurst, Long Island, probably by an old racist who will die soon.

Looks like somebody taught gramps how to use Microsoft Word.
(via Patch)

If you are fuming over the letter pictured above, you are not alone. If it wasn't printed from a computer, you might even think this was a hateful relic from the past. Alas, this letter is from present day. Ronica Copes posted the letter on her Facebook page on Thursday and it's gotten a ton of media attention.

The mere fact that this bigoted string of (ALL CAPS) thoughts takes the form of a written letter and not a flurry of tweets means it's most likely from somebody's racist grandfather. If the author of the letter wants a 100% white community, I advise they stay inside their house at all times, alone, to ensure they are the only white person around.

The Suffolk County Police Hate Crimes Unit is investigating the letter. I suggest they start with retirement communities, then question anyone who recently taught an octogenarian how to use a computer. Ideally, the author of this letter will never make the jump from Microsoft Word to Internet Explorer. Let's keep all the old racists away from the Internet.

My assumption is that it was sent by an old person, because the only thing giving me a glimmer of hope in this situation is that the sender is part of a breed who will soon go extinct.

And he did it without even spilling his beer.

Baseball is not a particularly exciting sport. Sure, once every ten or fifteen minutes, a batter will get a piece of a ball and knock it up into the sky, leaving everyone in the stadium to hold their breath until an outfielder catches it and sends it back to the pitcher. Then everyone goes back to their beers and hotdogs until somebody else almost does something interesting.

So, when something genuinely exciting happens—like when this spectator at a St. Paul Saints game plucked a flying bat out of the sky with one hand, while holding a beer in the other—it deserves to be seen again. And again. And again...

That's the one really cool thing that's gonna happen this year, everyone. Might as well get drunk until football season starts up again. That's always good for some interesting carnage.