Thanks for being the best roommate ever by never being here.

May 20, 2013, 7:52 am

≫ Next: Greetings from New Jersey, a great place to raise your kids and to judge the way everyone else raises theirs.

≪ Previous: May 20: Happy birthday to Cher and someone whose body parts are all turning the same age.

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Greetings from New Jersey, a great place to raise your kids and to judge the way everyone else raises theirs.

May 20, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: I can't wait to have a new ex.

≪ Previous: Thanks for being the best roommate ever by never being here.

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I can't wait to have a new ex.

May 20, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Thanks for not ruining the upcoming summer weekend by getting married during it.

≪ Previous: Greetings from New Jersey, a great place to raise your kids and to judge the way everyone else raises theirs.

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Thanks for not ruining the upcoming summer weekend by getting married during it.

May 20, 2013, 8:52 am

≫ Next: I'd be more excited about getting away for Memorial Day if I wasn't going with the people I need to get away from.

≪ Previous: I can't wait to have a new ex.

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I'd be more excited about getting away for Memorial Day if I wasn't going with the people I need to get away from.

May 20, 2013, 9:59 am

≫ Next: I hope going corporate won't change your Tumblr's tradition of never being read.

≪ Previous: Thanks for not ruining the upcoming summer weekend by getting married during it.

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I hope going corporate won't change your Tumblr's tradition of never being read.

May 20, 2013, 10:12 am

≫ Next: Congratulations to Yahoo for putting as much thought into the decision to buy Tumblr as everyone puts into what they post there.

≪ Previous: I'd be more excited about getting away for Memorial Day if I wasn't going with the people I need to get away from.

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Congratulations to Yahoo for putting as much thought into the decision to buy Tumblr as everyone puts into what they post there.

May 20, 2013, 11:24 am

≫ Next: It must be exciting to know that your Tumblr will now be read by people who have never heard of Google.

≪ Previous: I hope going corporate won't change your Tumblr's tradition of never being read.

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It must be exciting to know that your Tumblr will now be read by people who have never heard of Google.

May 20, 2013, 11:56 am

≫ Next: I'll always love you until the day your parallel parking gives me a stroke.

≪ Previous: Congratulations to Yahoo for putting as much thought into the decision to buy Tumblr as everyone puts into what they post there.

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I'll always love you until the day your parallel parking gives me a stroke.

May 20, 2013, 12:01 pm

≫ Next: Best of luck to Yahoo on explaining to its users what Tumblr is.

≪ Previous: It must be exciting to know that your Tumblr will now be read by people who have never heard of Google.

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Best of luck to Yahoo on explaining to its users what Tumblr is.

May 20, 2013, 12:22 pm

≫ Next: When I'm with you, time flies like Don Draper on speed.

≪ Previous: I'll always love you until the day your parallel parking gives me a stroke.

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When I'm with you, time flies like Don Draper on speed.

May 20, 2013, 12:59 pm

≫ Next: Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.

≪ Previous: Best of luck to Yahoo on explaining to its users what Tumblr is.

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Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.

May 20, 2013, 1:32 pm

≫ Next: Thank you for saying no when I asked if you needed help moving.

≪ Previous: When I'm with you, time flies like Don Draper on speed.

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Thank you for saying no when I asked if you needed help moving.

May 20, 2013, 2:09 pm

≫ Next: All the good women out there are either married, gay, or turned off by my numerous physical and emotional flaws.

≪ Previous: Let's kick off summer with a holiday weekend that isn't warm enough for summer activities.

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All the good women out there are either married, gay, or turned off by my numerous physical and emotional flaws.

May 20, 2013, 2:51 pm

≫ Next: I had another nightmare about you telling me the in-depth details of your dreams.

≪ Previous: Thank you for saying no when I asked if you needed help moving.

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I had another nightmare about you telling me the in-depth details of your dreams.

May 21, 2013, 6:59 am

≫ Next: Summer Badge: This is to honor you displaying only 85% of the skin on your body at work today.

≪ Previous: All the good women out there are either married, gay, or turned off by my numerous physical and emotional flaws.

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Summer Badge: This is to honor you displaying only 85% of the skin on your body at work today.

May 21, 2013, 7:52 am

≫ Next: I would love to babysit sometime as long as you never take me up on that offer.

≪ Previous: I had another nightmare about you telling me the in-depth details of your dreams.

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I would love to babysit sometime as long as you never take me up on that offer.

May 21, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Summer Badge: This serves to recognize your 43 minutes of actual work on a 72-degree day.

≪ Previous: Summer Badge: This is to honor you displaying only 85% of the skin on your body at work today.

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Summer Badge: This serves to recognize your 43 minutes of actual work on a 72-degree day.

May 21, 2013, 8:40 am

≫ Next: I hope to see you in a bathing suit outside of Facebook this summer.

≪ Previous: I would love to babysit sometime as long as you never take me up on that offer.

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I hope to see you in a bathing suit outside of Facebook this summer.

May 21, 2013, 11:06 am

≫ Next: Summer Badge: This serves to recognize you having the sweat stains of a manual laborer while working your desk job.

≪ Previous: Summer Badge: This serves to recognize your 43 minutes of actual work on a 72-degree day.

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Summer Badge: This serves to recognize you having the sweat stains of a manual laborer while working your desk job.

May 21, 2013, 11:56 am

≫ Next: Your summer internship is more likely to lead to a venereal disease than it is to a job.

≪ Previous: I hope to see you in a bathing suit outside of Facebook this summer.

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