Whatever happened to the good old days of hiding your drugs under your pillow?
When you're in a foreign country, it can be tempting to think, "Wow, X drug is legal and/or very cheap here, maybe I should bring some home for the fam." Of course, most sane people quickly realize such an act is highly illegal and give up on their dream. Others, however, like to tempt fate. While most of them get caught, their techniques are a true testament to the human capacity for invention.
1. Their bodies.
Since the dawn of drugs, people been coming up with different ways of hiding them in their bodies. They've put them in their stomachs, their vaginas, their foreskins, their breast implants, their rolls of fat, and their butts, butts, butts. Did we mention that they put them in their butts?
2. Cookies.
Are the cookies still good, though? (via Customs and Border Protection)
A few days ago, Police seized cookies filled with $52,000 worth of cocaine. The filling melts right in your mouth!
3. Puppies.
Not a carrying case for your heroin. (via Getty)
Okay, this one is pretty messed up. Yesterday, 22 Colombian nationals were caught trying to smuggle heroin they sewed into the bellies of labrador puppies. A similar incident happened last year, when a man tried to smuggle cocaine he put in the bellies of two St. Bernards. A few of the dogs ended up dying in both cases. Let's hope these puppies exact their vengeance by growing up to be drug-sniffing dogs.
4. Cheese.
A drug inside a drug. (via Customs and Border Control)
A year ago, a 62-year-old man was caught trying to smuggle two pounds of meth into Calexico, California. The meth was concealed inside wheels of cheese. What a waste of an elderly citizen's later years. And more importantly, what a waste of cheese.
5. Diapers.
She must have had the worst sweaty cocaine airplane butt. (via CBS Local)
Priscilla Pena and Michelle Blassingale were caught wearing "cocaine diapers" filled with nearly seven kilos of some primo shit. Their smuggling technique is pretty amazing, but what's more is amazing is the fact that they flew from the Dominican Republic to JFK without peeing.
6. Soap.
"It's a very clean high." (via Customs and Border Patrol)
San Francisco customs officials seized 9 pounds of opium hidden in 66 bars of soap that were shipped from Thailand. Looks like someone's dream of opening a combination beauty store and opium den has been shattered.
7. Tamales
Drugs aside, those are some nasty-looking tamales. (via Customs and Border Protection.)
Last summer, a man traveling from El Salvador to New York was caught trying to smuggle cocaine-filled tamales. As you can see, cocaine was the only ingredient.
7. Coconuts.
Put the weed in the coconut and wait what comes next? (via Valley Central)
On Wednesday, Border Protection found 3,874 pounds of marijuana hidden in coconuts. They'll process the evidence once they figure out how the hell you open a coconut.
8. An accordion.
Polka makes way more sense when you're on meth. (via KFOR)
A Mexican man tried to smuggle 4.5 pounds of meth in a Mexico-themed accordion. Looks like someone was an awesome nerd in high school.
9. Jesus
"Do you smell what I smell?" (via Customs and Border Patrol)
Someone tried to ship a marijuana-filled Jesus statue from Mexico to Puerto Rico. It's not that big of a deal if you think about it, cause like, Jesus used to blaze up dude. It's like a historical fact in the Bible.
10. Super-secret covert spy jars.
Nothing to see here, folks. (via JournalStar)
In Lincoln, Nebraska, a 21-year-old man was pulled over under the suspicion of drunk driving. They searched the car, and discovered this jar of not-marijuana.