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Article 16


Article 15

The last kid who loves reading had nothing to read but junk mail. The Internet helped him out.

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A Utah mailman's post about Mathew Flores went viral on Facebook.


A match made in nerd heaven.(via ABC7)

Ron Lynch is a mailman with the Sandy Post Office in Utah. He was delivering mail to an apartment complex last week when he saw 12-year-old Mathew Flores standing by the mailboxes, reading junk mail. But this kid wasn't interested in mattress sales or refinancing his home – he just didn't have anything else to read. He was so engrossed in the glossy ads, he asked Lynch if he had any extra. (Isn't all junk mail "extra?")

Flores explained to Lynch that he didn't have any books to satisfy his love of reading, so he would usually just read the newspaper. Failing that, he would read anything that came his way. Lynch asked why he didn't go to the library, and Flores said that he couldn't afford the bus pass. That moved Lynch for personal reasons, as he explained to ABC7:

"You know, I started reading at a very, very early age. My mother instilled a love of books in me...at 12 years old, he didn't want electronics. He didn't want to sit in front of the TV playing games all day. This kid just wanted to read."

I know, what a weirdo. Lynch took a picture of Flores and uploaded it to Facebook, hoping some of his friends would come through with a book or two for the young bibliophile.

Facebook friends... This is Matthew Flores. Today while delivering mail to his apartment complex, I saw him reading ads,...

Posted by Ron Lynch on Thursday, July 23, 2015

What happened next shocked him. Lynch's post quickly went viral, amassing over 8,000 shares. Flores was overwhelmed with hundreds of books from strangers all over the world. Some people even delivered them in person. The arrivals haven't slowed down, either, and Flores is delighted. He says he wants to read every book:

"It's super fun and it's interesting. Plus, it gets you smarter."

He's even planning on lending the books out to his friends. He could even start his own library, introducing all the kids in his neighborhood to the world of books. And he could lend them junk mail, too, but only the best stuff.

Article 13

The new head of the DEA is a laugh riot.

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"Do I think [pot]'s as dangerous as heroin? Probably not. I'm not an expert." - America's top drug authority, who is very funny.


"I'm not an expert. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL your son is going to prison."

Change has come to the Drug Enforcement Agency, a federal law-enforcement bureau that is traditionally headed by a comedian. That's the only conclusion I can come to, since Chuck Rosenberg, America's wry new drug czar, made national headlines today by admitting that heroin might just be a teensy weensy bit worse than pot. That someone who has made their entire career in drug policy could consider this a groundbreaking statement only makes sense, of course, if our entire drug war is a gigantic joke.

He then brought down the house with this closing zinger, "Typically it's heroin, opioids, meth and cocaine in roughly that order and marijuana tends to come in at the back of the pack."

This Mitch Hedberg-like dry humor is a radical departure from the DEA's previous head, Michele Leonhart, who took the dark comedy of national drug policy to Andy Kaufman-esque levels of performance art by adamantly refusing to say that heroin, which killed 8,200 Americans by overdose in 2013 (a rate which continues to skyrocket) was any worse than pot, which year after year kills zero people by overdose. She said judging whether the "insidious" cannabis was worse than crack or heroin was "subjective."


Former DEA administrator and avante-garde shock comedian Michele Leonhart.

Leonhart's edgy brand of drug comedy may have finally gone over the line when she scolded the President of the United States for saying cannabis is less harmful than alcohol. Some people thought this was disrespectful and scientifically reckless (because every respectable scientific study for decades agrees with the President). Others were offended when she publicly criticized the President and the White House when some junior staffers played a softball game with members from a drug reform organization. Those people obviously just don't get comedy.

In the end, what caused her resignation was a series of sex party scandals, which was not nearly as funny as her day-to-day work.

Advocates of drug policy reform and criminal justice reform applauded the new chief's joke, saying this kind of deadpan humor is much better than the DEA's "awkward comedy" of incarcerating millions of people, including a disproportionate number of poor people and minorities even though whites use drugs at higher rates. Lol. It's especially hilarious because every single federal blue-ribbon commission on drugs since the '70s has recommended decriminalizing and rescheduling cannabis (which is treated by law as if it's actually worse than morphine, ketamine, ecstasy, and a lot of other harder drugs). They stopped ordering those blue-ribbon commissions, though, because they kept coming back with that same recommendation. Let's also not forget that great comedy routine about how prescription opioids like Oxycontin continue to be regulated as if they were safer and more morally acceptable, despite killing almost twice as many people as heroin and leading many prescription drug users to heroin use after they build up a tolerance.

I agree. Enforcing a puritanical and wrongheaded drug policy based on racism and generating full employment for police just because it's "ironic" is so 2000s. Comedy has moved on.

17 kids who totally suck at playing hide-and-seek.

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You find the strangest things in your couch cushions.(via)

The studies have been done and the results are in: American children are falling behind children from other prosperous nations in every area. Perhaps this is most noticeable in their skills at hiding during games of hide-and-seek. To put it simply, our children suck at hide-and-seek. Are we putting too much emphasis on seeking and not enough on hiding? Are we teaching to the test instead of letting children live in the world of their imaginations? Should we blame the parents? No, I think in this case the kids themselves are to blame. They just suck at hiding.


The cats think this makes them invisible, too. (via)

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Also the preferred method of hiding from a bath. (via)

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No one will look under the desk when there's a big, exciting computer on top of it! (via)

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Come on! There are holes in that basket! (via)

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Always put away your children when you're done playing with them. (via)

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Be your own nightlight. (via)

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If I can't see you...you can still see me, can't you? (via)

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Just testing your vision. (via)

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Who, me? I haven't seen anyone, I'm just a doormat. (via)

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So lifelike! Every kid wants one of these for Christmas this year. (via)

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Creepy, but still visible. (via)

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Great hiding spot, poorly executed. (via)

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Just need to take a quick look under your entire car. (via)

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So close, and yet so far. (via)

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Come on, you're not even trying! (via)

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B for overall hiddenness, but an A+ for creativity. (via)

Watching all these naughty dogs get busted will give you ideas for when you're guilty as hell.

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1. There's the "innocent till proven guilty" grimace, courtesy of Denver, the original guilty dog.

Videos of dogs getting busted and dealing with their guilt will always be hilarious. They want so much to please humans, but sometimes the doggy urge to eat an entire sack of treats or tear up the carpet overcomes them. These pups have a number of strategies for avoiding detection or assuming responsibility, depending on the situation. Let them guide your actions the next time you clog the office toilet. Do you come forward, or insist you've never pooped in your life?

2. There's the "slow backwards crawl."

If you hide very slowly, it just seems like a totally casual, natural exit.

3. There's the "subtle blackmail attempt."

Sometimes some gentle hugging smoothes things right over.

4. There's the "refusal to engage even if everyone is against you."

Too bad about the recorded laughter in this clip. Ain't nothing funny about the fact that snitches get stitches.

5. There's the "trail of clues misdirect."

Sometimes the case against you is just too strong for denial, but try anyway.

6. There's the "admitting your guilt half-way through your crime."

If you suddenly discover you've made a huge social faux paw, try just falling to the floor and rolling around.

7. There's the "plausible deniability if everyone just keeps their mouths shut."

Trust no one.

8. There's the "pretend you were sleeping the whole time."

This is what happens when hiding IS the crime.

9. There's "arguing your case."

You can try sticking with your alibi, but that will often escalate the situation. Dads who have had their potato skins eaten don't want any back talk.

10. There's the "not really understanding you're busted."

This dog doesn't even know what a camera is! When he denies knowing what his owner is talking about, it'll be true.

There's the secret: never even admit you've been caught and no defense is necessary.

Article 9


London wins gold from kids young & old, turns Olympic tower into world's tallest slide.

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This colossal over-expenditure of money is turning into a colossal over-expenditure of fun!


Take note, people who run the Statue of Liberty. (via Gizmodo)

The Olympics get a lot of criticism for their business practices. The city that's hosting always spends a buttload of taxpayer dollars on a bunch of expensive stadiums, and when the activities are over, no one knows what to do with them. Some are successfully repurposed into other sporting venues, like Turner Field or the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. some are repurposed into entirely new venues, such a the Montreal Biodome or Beijing National Aquatics Center. Some, well, are entirely abandoned and end up looking like remnants of some creepy dystopian civilization. None of these options are as exciting London's plans for repurposing The ArcelorMittal Orbit, however.

They're turning it into a giant slide.


We'll go to the museum later, honey; your father wants to ride the slide. (via Gizmodo)

The 376-foot sculpture, built to commemorate the 2012 London Olympics, will now house a 180-meter long slide. It will loop the tower five times until slowing riders down on a 50-meter deceleration stretch. Each ride will cost 5 pounds (around 8 bucks), and it's scheduled to open next spring.

The head of visitor relations at the park had the following to say:

“What more exciting way to descend the ArcelorMittal Orbit than on the world's longest and tallest tunnel slide? We are committed to ensuring our visitors have the best possible day out every time they visit Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, and as with all our venues, we are constantly exploring ways to ensure we lead the way with the latest visitor experience. This slide really will give a different perspective of Britain's tallest sculpture."

I remember getting stuck on a water slide when I was 12 at Water Country USA. I pray that fate doesn't befall any future riders.

With "multimasking," women can have it all. All of the masks.

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Would you believe me if I told you there's a new beauty thing that people are doing on Instagram?

It's called "multimasking." Can you guess how many masks it involves? Multiple.

The idea is that you use specific kind of masks to address particular skin problems. Like if you have a splotchy T-zone, you use a splotch mask on your T-zone. That seems like an effective concept, but it does bring up a question. Should I have more masks? At present, I only have one kind of mask, and it was an expensive gift that I got for my birthday two years ago. It's a foaming mask, and when I put it on my face, I can feel it fizzing my skin off, which means it's working.

But maybe I should only be foaming off my forehead, and I should be putting clay on my chin, and black stuff on my nose, and white patches on my eyeballs. But no one ever told me that! I didn't know! Which kinds of masks should I buy? Someone please tell me all the masks women are supposed to buy!

While I ponder this, feel free to peruse these examples of multimasking.



A photo posted by sncmagazine (@sncmagazine) on



A photo posted by Julia (@missjuliaevelyn) on




Earl the grumpy puppy will make you wonder why you thought any other animal looked grumpy before.

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Remember Grumpy Cat? Not after you see this dog, you won't!







Sunday funday!
A photo posted by Earl (@earlthegrumpypuppy) on

Many cats have tried to take down Grumpy Cat, and every one has failed. Why? Because they're cats. We know what grumpy cats look like, and we're bored. We demand a new grumpy animal! But who will come to the rescue? I'll tell you who.







Hello Instagram! #earlthegrumpypuppy #grumpypuppy #grumpydog #puggle #pugglesofinstagram
A photo posted by Earl (@earlthegrumpypuppy) on

Earl the grumpy puppy has taken Instagram by storm with his trademark grouchy puss. He's a dog, but he's grumpy. It's such a fresh take! And the World Wide Web can't get enough.

Earl is a five-month-old puggle (a pug/beagle mix for you laypeople). He lives in Iowa with his owner, Derek, who says that despite his face, Earl is a very happy dog. He told Yahoo UK:

“He has had the grumpy expression from day one. The vet said he's as healthy as any other puppy. He just looks grumpy because of his underbite, wrinkles, and dark complexion. He is the most relaxed, content puppy either one of us has ever seen. Whenever he wants something he'll calmly sit down and stare at us until we ask him the right question. Then he wags his tail in approval."

I'm going to choose to believe that Earl is actually grumpy, because that's cuter. But you can enjoy Earl any way you want, as long as you don't look at Grumpy Cat any more. That cat is dead to us all! Puppies forever!

Check out these other tremendous Earl pics and get in on the grump!







Trying to stay awake to watch the Blackhawks win! #puggle #pugglesofinstagram #grumpydog #grumpypuppy #earlthegrumpypuppy #blackhawks #dogsofinstagram
A photo posted by Earl (@earlthegrumpypuppy) on








Gloomy day... #grumpydog #grumpypuppy #puggle #pugglesofinstagram #puppy #dogsofinstagram #dogoftheday
A photo posted by Earl (@earlthegrumpypuppy) on








Momma helping me find my ball...
A photo posted by Earl (@earlthegrumpypuppy) on

Article 5

This college student dresses up squirrels in costumes. We hope she washes her hands after.

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College is a great time for getting in touch with your hidden talents.


"The earth is literally my home." (via Bored Panda)

Mary Krupa, a rising senior at Penn State, discovered she had a special connection with squirrels on campus. They would come to her for food and let her pet them. She was so comfortable interacting with them that she earned the title of "The Squirrel Whisperer." This led her to take take things to the level: She started making the squirrels little outfits and staging squirrel-themed photo shoots. They are truly sights to behold.


10/10. (via Facebook)


"My old lady left me for hedgehog with a fancy acorn-gathering job." (via Facebook)


Squirrel-tural appropriation. (via Facebook)

You can view Krupa's other work on the official Facebook page of Sneezy, the beloved Penn State Squirrel. Sneezy actually refers to one of four different female Eastern gray squirrels, but according to Krupa:

“Whenever I find one that's willing to cooperate and it lets me take pictures, then that one is basically Sneezy for the day."

You can watch a video interview with Krupa from a few years back. She considers herself "an animal lover," and is pretty confident and self-aware about what she's doing.

Let's just hope she got a rabies vaccine.

Simon Pegg as Drunk Ron Weasley is all of us when we're drunk and feeling underappreciated.

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Sure, this is supposed to be a funny bit about Ron being jealous of Harry, but it just feels so real.

Simon Pegg, star of Shaun of the Dead, the new Star Trek movies and Mission Impossible: Rogue Nationis eerily convincing as a drunk Ron Weasley on Jimmy Fallon. You see, yesterday was the fictional character Harry Potter's birthday, and Ron was rightfully drunk for the occasion.

If you've ever had a friend or sibling who is extremely successful, this drunk redhead's antics are all to familiar. Especially when he needs to take a shot, but then just ends up chugging whiskey all by himself. Oh Ron Weasley. Dear, sweet, underappreciated Ron Weasley. We feel your struggle.

Article 2


King Joffrey wants to see more d*ck on television and thinks misogyny is bullsh*t. Unexpected!

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Jack Gleeson goes from world's most hated blonde child to liberated hippie sweetheart in one interview.


Nothing ominous about this...(via HBO)

Remember when we hated the imaginary character of King Joffrey even more than we hated Walter Palmer? He was a lying, cowardly, woman-abusing, wolf-murdering sociopath and everyone was very happy to watch him die a terrible death. On the show! The guy who played him is actually pretty dope.

After his spectacular exit from GoT, Jack Gleeson announced that he's leaving the spotlight entirely and pursuing a life of academia. Before he goes, he's doing one more weird play written with his Dublin-based collaborators, called Bears in Space, described as an allegorical puppet show for people of all ages. It's supposed to be about the enduring power of friendship, whereas we all know Game of Thrones is about the enduring power of boobies. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Gleeson talks about misogyny and nudity in entertainment in a way that'll make you say, "Crossbow? What crossbow?":

“Yeah, of course; it's a tricky thing when you are representing misogyny in that way because I wouldn't say the show ever implicitly condones misogyny or any kind of violence towards women. But, perhaps, it's still unfair or unjust to represent it even if the gloss on the representation is a negative one.

“Obviously as a 23-year-old man, I can never put myself into the mindset of a woman who has been sexually assaulted, but I think that sometimes you have to represent awful things happening onscreen even if they're for entertainment because you have to expose the brutality of them, because the chances are you're not going to see that anywhere. So there's a chance it engages some kind of empathy but it is a gray area. It might be very traumatic and stressful to watch those scenes."

If you don't know somehow, Game of Thrones has received a lot of attention for the way it portrays rape: over and over and over again. It's interesting to hear an actual actor from the show talk about the issue in a way that doesn't completely dismiss it, though he admits he's never even watched GoT! What?!:

“As I say, I don't watch it so I can't really comment, but I have heard that there is male nudity — so I think that is one good thing, to not just objectify women but also objectify the beauty of the male genitalia! We're all objects together."

There is still a bit of a gender imbalance in this regard on Game of Thrones, unless you consider male nipples as exciting as those powerful lady boobs. I do not.

Thanks for speaking up, Jack, and we hope you return to TV and swing around that D!

'Ghostbusters' is being rebooted with an all-male cast. Finally, a movie starring men.

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It's 2015. When will men be comfortable with women busting their ghosts?


Left to right: ghost, man, man, man, man. (via YouTube)

Does the upcoming Ghostbusters film with an all-female cast sound too interesting and empowering for you? Do you wish you could see a new version of a movie that originally starred men but with more men, because only men can play fictional men who were inspired by different fictional men? Great news on the men front: men!

According to MTV, the previously rumored other Ghostbusters reboot might actually be happening. Screenwriter Drew Pearce said he just finished completing his idea, which is "top secret" but would ideally be in the same universe as both the original film and the Paul Feig-directed all-female version. He also said he and the producers are hoping to cast Chris Pratt and Channing Tatum, who I wish they would just leave out of this.

What my schedule looks like vs. what my anxiety has planned for me today.

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My anxiety is like a helpful personal assistant, if that personal assistant was trying to help me ruin my life.


Laying on this couch for seven hours is a GREAT idea. (via Thinkstock)

I have plans for my day, but my anxiety has other ideas.

7:00 am

My plan: Wake up, do some light yoga, and eat a good breakfast. Start the day with gratitude.

My anxiety's plan: Immediately think about all of the emails I didn't write yesterday. Start composing emails in my head. Think about what would happen if I actually wrote my real thoughts in emails instead of trying to be nice to people. Get a brief thrill of power before I imagine getting an angry phone call from a friend about my real thoughts. Imagine that friend telling me how selfish I am, and revealing that everyone actually hates me. Finally get out of bed at 7:55 and shove a piece of leftover pie in my face to try to quiet my feelings. Be grateful that I managed to stop before eating two pieces of pie.

8:00 am

My plan: Go for a run.

My anxiety's plan: Run for about five minutes, then spontaneously realize that my boyfriend didn't say "I love you" when he left this morning. Think of all the times he's felt distant lately, ignoring the fact that he's been legitimately busy. Get scared he's going to break up with me and have a panic attack right when I'm running in front of that coffee shop where All Of The Cool People hang out while wearing small fashion hats and overalls, which are somehow back in style. Worry that I need to start wearing overalls.

9:30 am

My plan: Start work.

My anxiety's plan: Work for half an hour, then see an article on Facebook about the poor state of elder care in America. Start thinking about my parents' mortality. Think about all of the wonderful things my parents gave me, feel guilty I haven't given nearly enough back to them. Somehow end up crying in a bathroom stall, not quite sure of how I got there or when I started crying.

12:30 pm

My plan: Grab a sandwich for lunch.

My anxiety's plan: Take a bite of the sandwich while walking up the stairs. Suddenly know in the bottom of my heart that one day, I will die from choking because I ate food while walking up stairs.

2:30 pm

My plan: Have meeting with boss to ask for a raise.

My anxiety's plan: At 2:28 pm, become convinced that I'm a fraud who somehow tricked her way into this job, and that the entire ruse will come crashing down if I ask for more money. Decide that I shouldn't ask for a raise, then wonder if I'm a bad woman because women don't ask for raises enough. Consider having a baby in order to make myself feel like a better woman, then realize that I can't afford a baby without a raise.


Baby: A new thing to worry about. (via Thinkstock)

4:00 pm

My plan: Celebrate a coworker's birthday.

My anxiety's plan: Worry that I didn't exercise enough today to earn office cake. Run through all the scenarios in which I could get more exercise today. Become convinced that I might say "I love you" to my coworker instead of "happy birthday." Focus so much on not saying "I love you" that instead I say "barfy feetday, Josie." Her name is not Josie.

6:00 pm

My plan: Happy hour.

My anxiety's plan: Not happy hour.

7:30 pm

My plan: Attend my friend's comedy show at a bar.

My anxiety's plan: Realize that nobody I know is there yet. Get a drink, stand against the back wall, and become intensely interested in how this one ice cube in my glass looks weird so I don't accidentally make eye contact with anyone. If anyone tries to start a conversation with me, try to not spontaneously say something truly awful, like, "I have pictures of snow-covered cow skeletons on my phone because I once found some snow-covered cow skeletons."

10:30 pm

My plan: Go to bed.

My anxiety's plan: Get into bed, and read an article on my phone about how detrimental lack of sleep is. Fall down a rabbit hole of sleep research, and try to figure out if I could ever do one of those sleep schedules where you take a 20-minute nap every four hours. Feel guilty that I don't think I could manage that stupid, inhumane sleep schedule. Finally fall asleep at 12:30 am.

Have bad dreams about not getting enough sleep.

This Georgia pastor went viral for taking a stand against homophobia. Now he's taking it back.

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Dr. E. Dewey Smith's sermon has attracted a lot of attention on the Internet, but he's not thrilled about it.

Dr. E. Dewey Smith Jr. is the Senior Pastor at the House of Hope in Georgia. In a clip posted last Thursday, he spoke about the treatment of gay people by many of his fellow Christians, calling it "hypocritical." In particular, he was referencing the outspoken Christian objections to the Supreme Court's ruling that legalized same-sex marriage. Speaking to his congregation, Dr. Smith said:

"We have done what the slave master did to us. Dehumanize us, degrade us, demonize us, but then use them for our advantage."

He added that any Christian who condemns homosexuality while enjoying the work of homosexual artists is a hypocrite. He also accused Christians of hypocrisy for citing Leviticus as a condemnation of gays, while ignoring other passages in Leviticus that prohibit eating shellfish or wearing mixed fabrics. These points have all been made many times by LGBT advocates, but hearing them spoken by a Baptist preacher speaking from the pulpit is much less common, and the Internet took notice.

The five-minute clip of his sermon went viral on the Internet in the last week, with many commenters praising him for his progressive attitude. If you were one of those commenters, I've got news for you: it was, in fact, too good to be true. Now Dr. Smith is changing his tune. In a blog post, he explained that he was not trying to advocate for the LGBT cause, but to make a point about evangelism:

My sermon was not intended to be a condemnation of gays nor a condoning of same-gender loving relationships. My message was simply to say that those of the LGBT community who desire our ministry and love should not have to wonder if we care!
I have always believed and taught that marriage is between a man and a woman. Even as society changes and my theology evolves around ministering to and being intentional about loving all people, my personal theology is still based on male and female relationships only. While this may disappoint many who have encouraged me over the past few days, please allow a mutuality of “tolerance". However, I do think it is important for us to distinguish between personal theology and public policy. The Supreme Court ruling is an issue of policy.

Dr. Smith is clearly an intelligent man with nuanced opinions, but he's backpedaling hard. I guess it was too much to hope for that he would be a full-fledged LGBT ally. Still, it's nice to see him advocating for the separation of church and state. Even that's become a controversial issue these days.

HBO released footage of 'Game of Thrones' stars' auditions. What does this mean for Jon Snow?

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Here are a lot of 'Game of Thrones' actors back in a time when they were not yet 'Game of Thrones' actors, but wished to be. (Spoilers. I shouldn't have to warn you.)

HBO released footage showing the auditions of a lot of the show's actors, and if I may be genuine for a moment, their star power is absolutely bursting from the screen. I'm charmed. I would cast Gwendolyn Christie in anything and everything. If I were a casting director, every Ghostbusters reboot would star four green-screened Gwendolyn Christies, kind of like The Parent Trap. And you would love it.

This video does a great job incorporating early readings of so many lines we know and love, plus it offers a rare glimpse of Melisandre being goofy. Unfortunately, it takes an all too ambiguous stance regarding the fate of Jon Snow's character. Is he alive? Is he dead? Where is he in this video? And more importantly, at the time it was taken, what did Kit Harrington's hair look like?

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