Cool friend group.

Me, along with a couple of friends--James Franco and JJ Abrams--on the set of 11/22/63. Everything looks cool. pic.twitter.com/ds0A48WNwf
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) July 29, 2015

Time travel with me back to the summer of 2012. I read 11/22/63 by Stephen King. It was fascinating and creepy as hell. And I felt like an idiot for never being able to remember the exact numbers in the title.

Now flash forward to present day. King's book is being adapted into a TV series for Hulu. J.J. Abrams is producing it. James Franco plays the main role. And they tweeted a photo of themselves on set, smiling.

If that doesn't make you think about the nature of time, I don't know what will. Maybe a TV show about going back in time to try to prevent JFK from getting assassinated?

Internet video star Miranda Sings turned the atrocious comments on her videos into a song, and it's amazingly only three minutes long.

Colleen Ballinger, who makes videos under the name Miranda Sings, was pretty tired of the nasty Internet comments that daily assaulted her, her appearance, and the English language, so she took the worst ones and made a catchy little song out of them called "Reading Mean Comments."

No, "nikki bear," YOUR haribile. (Via YouTube)

Ballinger didn't want the unrelenting nastiness to "affect her in a negative way," and instead did her thing to turn the tables on those who publicly and anonymously called her a "stupeh bish," a "freeck," and "unngly."

She got the last laugh, but she also got the last last laugh, because, as she points out in the song, "Your comments make me money and you're paying my bills."

Yes, it was a Bald Eagle. Looks like the lion still fears the bird, eh, old chap?

Here's what happened when Prince Charles was attacked by an eagle. Over to you. #princecharlesbeingattackedbythingspic.twitter.com/8lUF59wOlV
— The Poke (@ThePoke) July 30, 2015

Charles, Prince of Wales, son of Queen Elizabeth II, one-time husband of Diana Spencer, father to Princes William and Harry, and current spouse of Camilla, The One No One Likes, fulfilled his most important duty as a royal this week by acting out a real-life Downton Abbey episode and attending the 134th Sandringham Flower Show at the Queen's Norfolk estate.

While there, he befriended two small Jack Russell terriers. More importantly, he was confronted and almost tackled by the mighty wings of an actual Bald Eagle. Yes, the eagle is actually the mascot of the 677 Squadron Army Air Corps, but we all know what Bald Eagles really are: living metaphors of 'Murica awesomeness. Anyway, a British humor (humour) site The Poke took to Twitter to ask its fans to turn Prince Charles' eagle-fear into a meme, #PrinceCharlesBeingAttackedByThings. Without much further ado about almost nothing, here are the best entries to come out of #PrinceCharlesBeingAttackedByThings.

(via Twitter)

How about the creepy Ukrainian girl attack? #nlotv#princecharlesbeingattackedbythings cc @ThePokepic.twitter.com/IcP3xAIOrN
— Телеканал НЛО TV (@nlotvua) July 30, 2015

Swarm @ThePoke#princecharlesbeingattackedbythingspic.twitter.com/H8lqD3z2jk
— OFFICIAL M.R.L Party (@Official_MRLP) July 30, 2015

@thepoke The inevitable #princecharlesbeingattackedbythingspic.twitter.com/u5oDtqlCIJ
— Ben Barnett (@benpbarnett) July 30, 2015

@ThePoke#princecharlesbeingattackedbythingspic.twitter.com/TqityTvZlh
— TallManwithGlasses (@stuartwitts) July 30, 2015

JUST... DO IT! #princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePokepic.twitter.com/5LavwpIuNE
— Bren (@megabren) July 30, 2015

"Very nice!" #princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePokepic.twitter.com/NUscNY4Wup
— Brandy Snap (@Brandy_Snap) July 30, 2015

Some of them used different images...which seems wrong to me but hey, maybe the Brits do memes differently.

#princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePokepic.twitter.com/pFHM7q1COK
— Hopeless Surfer (@HopelessSurfer) July 30, 2015

@ThePoke#princecharlesbeingattackedbythingspic.twitter.com/EH3MRwhRLf
— Gaz (@sirgaz84) July 30, 2015

Oh god...do I pull it out Camilla? @ThePoke#PrinceCharlesBeingAttackedByThingspic.twitter.com/mXciXfdSKW
— Rob Peyton (@robinpeyton) July 30, 2015

A lot of these probably make more sense if you're British, but we can still imagine the silly British reasons why they're funny.

Thought I'd join #princecharlesbeingattackedbythings fun by @ThePoke by putting him in the ring with @BorisJohnsonpic.twitter.com/QcKgAeQEpr
— Ben Stinson (@bunjiweb) July 30, 2015

Mitchell Johnson. #princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePoke#bbccricket@bbctmspic.twitter.com/DBkVXfgMZE
— Brandy Snap (@Brandy_Snap) July 30, 2015

"No,Daddy! Please don't kill me as well!"#princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePokepic.twitter.com/mmCLNlyJDQ
— Craig Rothery (@craigrothery) July 30, 2015

John Prescott: Man of the people. #princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePokepic.twitter.com/HV2QFghwIo
— Bren (@megabren) July 30, 2015

@ThePoke Alex Salmond's Solero #princecharlesbeingattackedbythingspic.twitter.com/KNjG8NEYbB
— Ryan Barrell (@RyanBarrell) July 30, 2015

Another righteous government blow to the benefits scroungers. #princecharlesbeingattackedbythings@ThePokepic.twitter.com/31eeaP6pLJ
— Alexis Taylor (@lexistwit) July 30, 2015

There you have it, folks: the greatest royal moment on social media since the Queen met a six-year-old who was promptly smacked in the face.

Oh, or that time childhood footage of the Queen doing a Nazi salute came out.

Gervais had plenty to say about the killing of famous Zimbabwean lion Cecil, but this isn't his first rodeo:

RIP #CecilTheLion I'm struggling to imagine anything more beautiful than this pic.twitter.com/lile3Kb2dk
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) July 28, 2015

Ricky Gervais is not some Johnny-come-lately when it comes to being outraged over big game hunting. Many people on the Internet are reaching their saturation point when it comes to Cecil outrage. Others find it hypocritical that everyone has so much passion for a lion they'd never heard about until a couple days ago. Or they're sending actual insane death threats to Cecil's murderer, dentist Walter Palmer. Not Gervais, though; he's been banging the drum for animal rights since forever ago:

Well done. You managed to shoot a stationery, 14 foot peaceful creature with a high velocity rifle. Very sporting. pic.twitter.com/Xuz7F5A3YT
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 11, 2015

In an interview on Opie Radio Channel Gervais talks about the reaction to Cecil, how threatening to kill Walter Palmer is mad (that means crazy in British, as in the Hatter from Alice in Wonderland), and how we all need to face up to the ways we contribute to the endangerment of animals. He seems most frustrated because it's what he's BEEN SAYING.

Because hundreds of endangered, unnamed animals are hunted to the point of extinction every day:

The West African Black Rhino has been officially declared extinct. It was hunted for its horn. Shame on our species. pic.twitter.com/hAljGZmRTT
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 14, 2015

Ricky's tweets paint a damning picture of how many people are a part of the problem:

What must've happened to you in your life to make you want to kill a beautiful animal & then lie next to it smiling? pic.twitter.com/DyYw1T5ck2
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 13, 2015

And how much he enjoys mocking them:

This Tofu & Rice was old and sad and wanted me to kill it. Now I will eat it. pic.twitter.com/5vsstpUZaL
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 16, 2015

But, you know, it's serious:

It's critical now. Poaching and Trophy Hunting are causing extinction. Don't believe anything different. They kill for fun & money.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 22, 2015

Very:

In the wake of that dick head paying to shoot an endangered rhino for "conservation" I though I'd post this again pic.twitter.com/0ekKMNykXk
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) May 20, 2015

If you really give a sh*t about Cecil, spread the love around:

Trophy Hunting, poaching, dog torture festivals...it seems like a losing battle. But let's fight it any way. pic.twitter.com/6WdOrPQnz4
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) July 29, 2015

When we're done with that, can we start on the endangerment of people? Or maybe do it in tandem? I'm flexible.

Related: The lion-killing dentist made a public apology and we translated it for you.

"Simpsons Did It" has now expanded from jokes your friends make to presidential politics:

These days, jokes about Donald Trump are swirling around the Internet like a cotton candy combover. The biggest joke of all is his presidential campaign, which has been so riddled with bad press, it's come around and become good press. He's now leading in the polls, people! What. Is. Happening?!

We shouldn't be taking our political cues from a cartoon, of course, but from fact based research. Hah, just kidding, my cat tells me who to vote for! Also, The Simpsons. In an episode that aired in 1999, the show suggests in the clip above that Trump tanks the economy, which I believe, but it was because he invested in our nation's children. Thaaaaaat's harder to swallow. Unless it's a children's beauty pageant. Well, they can't get everything right, but maybe we should start going through past seasons for more predictions on future politics. Or warnings.

Get away with telling your friends you know how to bake.

Three ingredients is OK. Four would be pushing it. (via YouTube/Ochikeron)

Two years ago, YouTube chef "Ochikeron" posted a video recipe for a Japanese-style, three-ingredient cheesecake. The recipe is simple: three eggs, some chocolate, some cream cheese, and boom: you've got yourself a cheesecake. The video got a decent amount of views when it was released, but quickly faded into obscurity. Like a celebrity who beat a drug addiction, however, it's made a powerful comeback this week and has blown up with over 2.7 million views, just in time for National Cheesecake Day. Take a look if you're prepared to crave a slice of cheesecake for the rest of the day.

It was a good headline: "John Stewart's secret White House visits." Too bad it had nothing to do with reality.

Earlier this week, Politico ran an article about the legacy of The Daily Show. It was an OK article, paired with one of the BEST CLICKBAIT HEADLINES OF ALL TIME. Truly, when it comes to mountain-from-molehill B.S., this was one of the best trumped-up hype pieces the Internet has seen all year. I wrote about it. I may be one of the least important people on the Internet, but at least now I know (unless Stewart's deception runs far deeper than I ever expected) that I was right.

Tell a friend how you really feel with one of these cards.

Toddler birthday parties usually follow a standard theme, like pirates or superheroes. But L'erin Dobra decided to throw her two-year-old son Grayson a party with the theme of his personal superhero, Personal Injury Lawyer Morris Bart.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a lawyer with over 35 years of experience! (via YouTube)

Grayson does not know personal injury lawyer Morris Bart in real life, but he does know him as a familiar face thanks to his ubiquitous TV ads. And like any kid would feel about their favorite TV character, Grayson is obsessed.

It could be the ad's catchy motto “One Call, That's All!" (kids love repetition), or maybe it's that flashing phone number Grayson loves. Whatever it is, this toddler just can't seem to get enough.

According to Grayson's mom, “He's always been very drawn to Morris Bart commercials." When they aren't on TV, she says he requests to watch them on YouTube.

Grayson's mom decided to acknowledge her child's deep enthusiasm for the commercial, throwing him a party brimming with all things Morris Bart. She went all-out, purchasing a cake with an edible photo of Mr. Bart, and Grayson received a Morris Bart shirt a cardboard cutout of the lawyer. L'erin said Grayson was excited and "shocked" upon seeing his hero's visage.

Unfortunately, the star of the party could not make an appearance (I mean, it's kind of like getting Spiderman to visit; he's super busy). However, Ms. Dobra did email his office to tell him about her plans. In response, Mr. Bart sent her an autographed photo.

Mr. Bart has been advertising on television for 35 years, but was still surprised by this kind of fame. “This was an unusual request," he said, adding, “I'm flattered by it."

I think we can all agree Grayson's mom is the best for 1) noticing what her son thinks is cool and 2) celebrating it so hilariously. Also, big props to Mr. Bart for sending him an autographed pic, like the total celeb he is. I don't know Morris Bart, but I imagine this is the cutest thing that will ever happen in his career.

Cesana, Italy is weirdly obsessed with the Foo Fighters.

"Can someone give me a B-flat?" (via YouTube)

Fabio Zaffagnini was dealt an injustice. He's a huge Foo Fighters fan, but they hadn't visited his home of Cesana, Italy since 1997. He needed to do something to bring them back, something bigger than just tweeting "OMG come 2 Cesana!" at them. His plan? To arrange a 1,000-musician orchestra to play "Learn to Fly" as part of a YouTube plea to Dave Grohl. After a lengthy crowdfunding campaign and a huge recruiting initiative to gather musicians, the "Rockin' 1000" laid down the track last week with the help of award-winning conductor Marco Sabiu. As someone who has gone on record saying I don't like the Foo Fighters, I'm going to put aside my pretensions and say that this video is pretty freakin' awesome. It's a crazy spectacle, and for a group so large, the song comes together very nicely.

The Foo Fighters' Twitter accounted Tweeted the following in response:

Che bello, Cesena.... https://t.co/o3ThIE4QYV#Rockin1000
— Foo Fighters (@foofighters) July 30, 2015

Uhhh, does that mean they're coming?

Throughout her 1989 World Tour, Taylor Swift has brought a Bad Blood musicvideo'sworth of celebs onstage with her.

The Trinity, Frostbyte, Slay-Z, and Lucky Fiori brought the Bad Blood video to life tonight at #1989TourEastRutherford. Wonder what's in store tomorrow night..
A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Jul 11, 2015 at 1:29am PDT

Her audiences have been graced by such coolness luminaries as Cara Delevingne, Kendall Jenner, Martha Hunt, Serena Williams, Karlie Kloss, Gigi Hadid, Lily Aldridge, Hailee Steinfeld, Lena Dunham, the U.S. National Women's Soccer Team, Serayah, Lorde, Uzo Aduba, Mariska Hargitay, a shark... Who will be next in this long line of women and animal? Who should be? I have some opinions.

What are my credentials? I'm a full-time professional Taylor Swift Instagram reporter, and I care.

1. Jenny Lewis

A photo posted by jenny lewis (@jennydianelewis) on May 4, 2015 at 12:06pm PDT

It is my official point of view that singer-songwriter-everything Jenny Lewis should be brought onto all stages when the opportunity to bring a person onto a stage arises.

2. Amandla Stenberg

A photo posted by amandla (@amandlastenberg) on Jul 25, 2015 at 9:12pm PDT

It is well-known that Amandla Stenberg rocks. The Hunger Games actress is only 16, but she's already a passionateactivist who uses her platform to address important issues. She's an awesome role model, and I think she'd be a really good influence on Tay, especially after recent Twitter events.

3. The squad of Rachel Antonoff.

3 shitheads
A photo posted by Rachel Antonoff (@rachelantonoff) on Sep 5, 2013 at 11:19am PDT

I think of fashion designer Rachel Antonoff's squad as a hipper, LA version of Taylor's girl gang. (Oh god, am I pitting women against each other? I just admire all the squads!) Antonoff's celebrity friends like actresses Mae Whitman, Sarah Ramos, Gillian Jacobs, Jenny Slate, and Alia Shawkat often appear in her ads as well as her Instagrams, and I'd love to see a meeting of the minds.

4. Hillary Clinton

A photo posted by Hillary Clinton (@hillaryclinton) on Jul 15, 2015 at 8:03pm PDT

So much power. And this would be a great campaign move for Hillary, who obvi wants those millennial votes so bad.

5. Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence

Jlaw #maniacpic.twitter.com/o5PvHWlxMt
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) July 30, 2015

Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence would make an entrance from backstage, Jennifer Lawrence tripping and somersaulting the whole way. When they arrived to where Taylor was standing, she would hand them something. No, not a crop top. Not a cupcake. Not an American flag towel. A torch. She would pass it to them. It is the torch of squads. "I've done all I can," she would say. "You are the new squad now. You are the future." And then she would go offstage and write a mean song about them.

The home run bat is way more terrifying this close up.

How did Link spin so much without vomiting? (via SoKrispyMedia/YouTube)

No matter how much or how little you game, you've probably played Super Smash Brothers. To pay tribute to Saturo Iwata, the late Nintendo president and one of Smash Bros' developers, SoKrispyMedia recreated a fight between Mario and Link from the iconic game, but did so from a first-person perspective (the actual game is played in third-person). It's a really cool concept, and they get everything down incredibly accurately, from the sound of the Pokéball opening to Link's reaction to stomaching a fireball. Something about the video feels incredibly weird, though. Maybe it's the characters being played by real-life actors. Or maybe it's seeing how violent everything is up close. Or maybe it's realizing that I'm an adult person who is still really into Super Smash Brothers.

Is it accurate? I don't know. Is it viral? More than a can of soda being passed around by teens with cold sores.

As viral as this graphic claiming to show what happens to your body in the first hour of drinking a soda is, it's probably hard to read on your phone. Here's the text:

1. First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don't immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.

2. 20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There's plenty of that at this particular moment.)

3. 40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.

4. 45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.

5. 60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.

6. >60 Minutes: The caffeine's diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you'll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.

7. >60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you'll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You've also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

CBS News attributes it to a blog called The Renegade Pharmacist, although the Pharmacist seems to have simply put a picture of a Coke can up and copied and pasted the text from a 2010 article on BlissTree.com. In the end, I have to agree with its overall premise: sugary sodas are not good for you. Shocking, I know. I'm a wee bit baffled by how popular it's become, though.

This graphic is like vague anti-establishment buzzword bingo. It hits the reward centers of every anti-corporate armchair crusader in the way Coke hits the reward centers of an 8 year old. Maybe I just feel that way because what really propelled this image into viral territory was a tweet from a singer/songwriter, which automatically sets off my bullsh*t alarms:

What happens one hour after drinking a can of @CocaCola... #NoThanks! pic.twitter.com/8FZ5md0xU6
— Tom Joseph Law (@TomJosephLaw) July 29, 2015

I'm not saying it's not true—sodas, in general, do sap nutrients and minerals from your bloodstream; they are empty sugar calories; they are, like candy, something you really shouldn't have either on a daily basis or a lot of all at once. It's just that I kind of thought we already knew this. Also, soda doesn't have real sugar in it, for reasons I find much more outrageous (political bribery and trade barriers kept in place by a pair of millionaire Florida brothers who make the Kochs look like George Bailey).

True story: I was literally drinking a Coke when this was forwarded to me. Great story, right? I didn't do a spit-take, though, because a) I need that precious, precious sugar, and b) I don't want my computer to be sticky for the rest of eternity.

Hafthor Bjornsson is a gigantic Icelandic 26-year-old who plays Gregor 'The Mountain That Rides' Clegane on HBO's 'Game of Thrones.' He's also officially the strongest guy on an entire continent.

Beep beep! The Mountain that Drives is coming through!

Earlier this month, Hafthor Bjornsson won the Strongest Man in Europe contest, crushing his competition like so many Dornishmen's heads. It shouldn't really be a surprise. After all, we've seen him deadlift 994 pounds and break a 1,000-year-old Icelandic strength record.

Hafthor Bjornsson is so huge right now.

What's more surprising is how funny it is to watch him walk in a Volkswagon, which bobbles along like a toy on his massive frame. It's also fun to see how excited he is, which reminds you that at 26, he's still a young man in the strength competition world, where champions usually hit their prime in their mid-30s. Here's the full video:

[SPOILERS] The Mountain is out of commission in Game of Thrones, but I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of this guy. [THEORY SPOILER WARNING] Plus, if you watch the show and are even slightly paying attention, you'll have realized that The Mountain isn't completely off the show. Whether or not he's "dead," he is almost definitely Robert Strong, the hulking, monstrous, silent new member of the Kingsguard who carries Cersei to her room after she returns from the most epic walk of shame in TV history. He was zombified by the ex-maester Qyburn. That's not necessarily saying that Hafthor Bjornsson is playing Robert Strong—since you never see him, it's probably not necessary the same actor be under the helmet. You just need someone really, really big. So, it could be Hafthor Bjornsson.

What states would I like to visit? Any states that don't have monstrous pythons roaming free.

PHOTO: 18-Foot Python caught in Florida Everglades National Park: http://t.co/vI5dn44SYypic.twitter.com/MrTWDiYz1S
— NBC DFW (@NBCDFW) July 29, 2015

Florida, I'd expect this sort of thing from you. But Missouri? Missouri, I am VERY disappointed.

At least Florida had the bigger snake — on July 9, a python researcher in Everglades National Park caught the third-largest python ever found in the state of Florida, a 18-foot, 3-inch behemoth that I have named "Nightmare Fuel, ESQ."* According to CBS Miami, "Burmese pythons are an invasive reptile with no natural predators. They appear to be wiping out most of the small mammals that once thrived in Everglades National Park." So that's comforting.

VIDEO: 15-Foot python found in #MO backyard http://t.co/iU41nBVNxdpic.twitter.com/SUqIwJGNAf
— STLtoday (@stltoday) July 29, 2015

But Missouri? As bad as Nightmare Fuel, ESQ is, your snake might be worse. Because even though your python was just 14-feet, 7-inches, I expect more from you. And by "more" I mean "I expect you to not have a giant python roaming a neighborhood and stealing people's chickens." People in the neighborhood were so terrified of the snake that a local man took snake justice into his own hands and shot the python. You can see more of the Missouri snake in the video below, which for some reason includes a three-year-old boy as the primary interview:

Pythons are not native to either Florida or Missouri, but asshats who have them as pets sometimes release them into the wild.

* Yes, I know ESQ is the title given to lawyers. But there is no way you are losing a court case if your lawyer is a giant python. Python Lawyer, coming this fall to CBS.

Somehow, cartoons brought to life are very creepy.

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #Hercules #jirkavinse
A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:16am PDT

You might remember Jirka Väätäinen's work from when he drew the female protagonists of Disney movies as "real" women, but now he has a totally new twist on an old favorite. The dudes! The dudes as real people! He also added Elsa and Princess Anna, because duh.

If they made snowmen amongst us.(via Jirkavinse)

He doesn't exactly describe his drawings as drawings. They're digital compositing, photo manipulation and digital painting, according to his website. That doesn't mean they're not cool and didn't require skill to make, but it does kind of explain the Uncanny Valley quality some of these images have, like they're someone's stolen, warped face.

Because, honestly, these guys are not doing it for me:

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #jirkavinse #Tarzan

A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:21am PDT

Prince Eric is wearing snap-on veneers:

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #jirkavinse #PrinceEric #TheLittleMermaid
A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:17am PDT

Who even remembers Prince Phillip? He's the warm pudding of princes:

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #jirkavinse #PrincePhillip #SleepingBeauty

A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:18am PDT

A head of hair like that, and no 5 o'clock shadow? Let's get really real:

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #jirkavinse #Aladdin

A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:19am PDT

This John Smith is the guy who won't make eye contact with you on a rooftop bar:

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #jirkavinse #JohnSmith #Pocahontas

A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:18am PDT

Well, everyone was always creeped out by the Beast when he turned into a "real man" to begin with:

#Firstbatchoutnow #RealLifeDisneyGuys #jirkavinse #PrinceAdam #Beast #BeautyandtheBeast

A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 29, 2015 at 3:19am PDT

I would actually love to see some version of this for the original Beast, slobbery jaws and all. Maybe then I could finally shake off my childhood crush...

Scrolling through this guy's Instagram, I discovered one reason why all the "real" Disney men look like airbrushed GQ models, nary a DadBod in sight. It's because Jirka Väätäinen looks like a cartoon prince himself!

#sundayrealness #Iwokeuplikethis

A photo posted by Jirka Vinse Jonatan Väätäinen (@jirkavinse) on Jul 19, 2015 at 3:42am PDT

He woke up like that. Very smooth.