Madame Tussauds knows how to read our country's cultural temperature, and that temperature said loud and clear: "Nicki Minaj's butt in wax, please."

A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Aug 4, 2015 at 1:24pm PDT

Nicki Minaj has followed in the steps of so many talented and/or photogenic famous people before her, and now has a wax figure on view at Madame Tussauds in Vegas (the classiest of all Madame Tussauds locations). According to Nicki, however, she had no idea it was happening until the figure was released:

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF?!?!?!?!??!?? Had no idea they were really doing this.… https://t.co/xtzE9F9g5s
— NICKI MINAJ (@NICKIMINAJ) August 4, 2015

That means that, unfortunately, she wasn't there for the big reveal, which featured "Anaconda" dancers:

A video posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Aug 4, 2015 at 10:45am PDT

Nicki made up for her absence from the event by posting several very similar pictures of the statue over and over on her Instagram.

Lol this looks like a human. Wtf. #HappyBirthdayAnaconda my Wax figure is now in VEGAS
A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Aug 4, 2015 at 1:08pm PDT

And this is the wax figure.


A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Aug 4, 2015 at 1:20pm PDT

Naw bitch hold on.


A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Aug 4, 2015 at 11:04am PDT

Congratulations, Nicki. The only thing this needs to look more realistic is your copious product placements.

I spent 45 minutes on Instagram looking for pictures of doll hands at summer festivals because that's about how long I can sustain caring about weird party trends... BUT I MADE SOME DISCOVERIES.

A photo posted by Finger Hand Movement (@fingerhandmovement) on Mar 25, 2015 at 11:56am PDT

A photo posted by Finger Hand Movement (@fingerhandmovement) on Mar 25, 2015 at 11:56am PDT

Early 20s rave kids are a subsection of people I already don't understand, and I would gladly shake a cane at them if I a) had a cane or b) ever went places frequented by rave kids in their early 20s. But yesterday, I saw a piece on LAist about how rave kids are apparently bringing doll hands to festivals. Both the author of that piece and the author of another piece she cited from Vice had the tone of "I just don't get these kids!" And I was about ready to get all Andy Rooney right along with them... but then, when I was searching for doll hand examples from the HARD Summer Fest on Instagram, I had a BREAK IN THE CASE:

When your fingerhand holds your joint for you. Forever and always a stoner babe #fingerhandgamestrong #fingerhandmovement #hardsummer #stoner #smokeweed #gethigh #staylifted #headintheclouds #puffpuffpass #realremedies #gradea #girlsthatsmoke
A photo posted by ⓓⓐⓘⓢⓨ❁ (@daisygypsyy) on Aug 5, 2015 at 4:27pm PDT

Not doll hand, but "finger hand," you say?

So I searched finger hand, and I found something called the "Finger Hand Movement." Which, as far as I can tell, is just a movement started to help promote finger hands. Here's the description from the Finger Hand Movement Facebook page: "Welcome to Finger Hand Movement! We make High-25's possible and we're bringing them to your local function. Join us! http://mcphee.com/shop/finger-hands" And, of course, they have an Instagram account too:

A photo posted by Finger Hand Movement (@fingerhandmovement) on May 27, 2015 at 4:28pm PDT

When the finger hand is removed from the rave context, I find it much more delightful. (Well, I find most things much more delightful when you take them out of the rave context: furry boots, music, alcohol, other people...) But take, for example, this picture that is straight-up amusing:

I like long walks on the beach. #fingerhand #fingerhandmovement
A photo posted by Rofel Malimata (@twodnoodles) on Jul 30, 2015 at 7:13pm PDT

Plus: Weird Al!

I'm so handy. You already know.

A photo posted by Al Yankovic (@alfredyankovic) on Jun 10, 2015 at 8:09am PDT

So there you go. If you need any other rave-related sleuthing done, let me know! I am happy to oblige as long as I can do it while sitting at my computer and it takes 45 minutes or less.

What is an "American Ultra?" Eh, let it live in mystery.

Casual sexism is pernicious, but it still baffles me that reporters ask female celebrities the same ridiculous questions. At this point, there have been so many jokes and protests about it, they must know what they're doing. Either reporters are being deliberately obtuse or they're digging their heels in: "I'll stop asking her what she's wearing when you pry the mic from my cold dead hand!!!!"

In this video Kristen Stewart gets to ask Jesse Eisenberg all the questions she still receives (why?!), like, "Who are your favorite designers?" and "Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" and "Do you have a favorite boob?" That last one is something I've been asked by men as well and I would never, ever have thought about it otherwise. Dudes, we know you just want to talk about our breasts! Stop trying to make it feel like a fun quiz.

In the end it turns out to be a "prank." Okay, this is a sketch and obviously Kristen Stewart didn't plan it, but what in the hell is with some guys coming in at the end break dancing and posturing in track suits? They don't even rap about sexist double standards! Wasted opportunity to create a tie-in song. Anyway, go see American Vulva or whatever.

Annoying reporters on live TV is obnoxious, but Hugh Jackman is allowed:

A reporters dream! There ain't no photobomb like a @RealHughJackman photobomb.@JessicaTnewshttps://t.co/atadoPv0yC
— Sandra Sully (@Sandra_Sully) August 5, 2015

He was visiting kids in a cancer ward, for goodness sake! He's earned sneaking up behind a reporter while announcing he's photobombing her. (It's technically a videobomb, not a photobomb, but even Wolverine makes mistakes—that's what makes his character interesting.)

With my mate Adrian aka Wolverine! @FightCancerFdn #fightcancer
A photo posted by Hugh Jackman (@thehughjackman) on Aug 5, 2015 at 4:33am PDT

The organization he was supporting at Sydney Children's Hospital is called the Fight Cancer Foundation, and it looks like he spent the day visiting lots of little Wolverines. The reporter is so casual about seeing him! I assume this is because it's in Australia, where roving Hugh Jackmans popping out of every bush and phone booth is to be expected.

I want to include this video of him dubsmashing "Bacon Pancakes," because the Internet is delightful and so is Hugh Jackman.

The theme to 'The Golden Girls' can squash any...beef?

We're almost there, folks. The end of Jon Stewart's tenure at The Daily Show.

If there's one thing that made Jon Stewart feel queasy more than watching FOX News, it was the mere mention of Arby's. It seems like half the jokes for the last year of the show were tagged with something like "that message was brought to you by Arby's. Arby's: You Think Pain And Grief Are Hard To Digest."

During the penultimate episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Arby's not only bought up a lot of ad time, but also wrote a special love note to Jon that included their favorite jokes at the expense of their company. It was as weird as when Bill O'Reilly comes on as a guest and is friendly to Jon. Isn't he the enemy? Shouldn't we not be consuming this?

The big question for me is: does Arby's actually "get it"? Or has marketing and advertising finally won? This wasn't just taking a joke is stride. This was celebrating the fact that their food is barely food. I can't tell if it's really funny and cool of them, or if we're living in an episode of Black Mirror where no matter what you say about a company, they can just laugh it off now, and make you eat there.

...I'm going to Arby's for lunch. They won.

A man upgraded his computer to Windows 10, and then it totally sold him out to his wife.

A wife discovering her husband's porn, but he's kind of into it (dramatization).
(stock photo)

File this one under "every dude's worst nightmare." A man who goes by FalloutBOS on Reddit reports that he upgraded his PC to Windows 10 and went to sleep. Then, he woke up to his wife asking why the computer was showing a rotating gallery of porn images.

It turns out that the new version of Windows automatically generates a screensaver out of all the photos in the My Pictures folder. What's worse, it's surprisingly hard to turn off. As FalloutBOS wrote:

I have no idea how to shut that feature off and that computer is staying shut down until I do.

Free windows and a free trip to the doghouse. Thanks Microsoft!!!

Microsoft has gone on record saying that Windows 10 will be the last version of Windows they release, but maybe there's room for at least one tweak. Windows users have enough trouble finding love without their computers actively breaking up their relationships.

After he learned about the screensaver feature, FalloutBOS returned to give all of his fellow Redditors this word of warning:

Don't make my mistake, keep your private pictures out of My Pictures, no matter how deep you hide them in sub folders. My wife is very happy I admitted my mistake on this sub. She said I took my medicine and she now finds it quite funny. 'Ain't love grand?

If your significant other is less understanding than his, then you should take his advice even more seriously. Otherwise, you're really going to need that porn.

'Bite' is a new horror film about a woman who transforms into an insect after getting bitten by one, and it's supposed to be as nasty as it sounds.

I had the same reaction when I saw Eat, Pray, Love. (via Thinkstock)

The filmmakers gave audiences members barf bags during its premiere at Montreal's Fantasia International Film Festival, which would've been a cheesy promotional stunt if people didn't actually need them. Soon after the premiere, the movie's official Facebook page posted the following:

A picture during the world premiere of BITE at Fantasia International Film Festival
MITCH DAVIS [the festival's co-director] said this on his Facebook while posting this picture "I leave the BITE premiere for all of ten minutes and the following text lights up my phone: "2 people, fainted. One girl is puking and another hit his head on stairs. Truth."

The film was so gross that people were vomiting, fainting, and uh, purposefully hitting their head on the stairs? According to a review on Scream Horror Magazine, the film tells the following story:

While on her bachelorette party getaway, Casey, the bride to be, gets a seemingly harmless bite from an unknown insect. After returning home with cold feet, Casey tries to call off her wedding but before she's able to, she starts exhibiting insect like traits. Casey succumbs to her new instincts and begins creating a hive that not only houses her translucent eggs, but feeds on the flesh of others.

Why would anybody want to watch this? Well, according to science, we human beings will do anything as long as it heightens brain activity, whether it involves pleasure or fear. It sure looks like The Bite has a lot of the latter. According to Film School Rejects:

Pus, bile and other bodily fluids leak from [Casey's] body, and Archibald [the director] ensures that we see the discharge happening in such detail that we can almost smell it as well. Viewers with weak gag reflexes have been warned.

Delicious! You can watch the trailer below... If you dare!

I'm beginning to think the people who made this video don't care about the evolution of men's fashion.

The horndogs over at Mode.com made a video about how men's swimwear has changed in the past 100 years, but I don't think their motivation was an objective interest in clothing styles.

I think they just wanted an excuse to watch this ridiculous specimen of a dude take off his bathing suit again...and again...and again. In slow motion. And then to zoom in on his package as it would have appeared in 1945, 1955, 1965...is it getting hot in here? I might need to cool off with a swim in 1925.

This video from RocketJump sheds new light on one of the most common complaints about modern movies.

If you get annoyed at the overuse of CGI in movies these days, you're not alone. Viewers have become very sophisticated at recognizing computer animation in live-action movies, but as this video proves, we still have a lot to learn. The experts at RocketJump Film School compiled a wealth of examples to prove their point to us: that there's actually much more CGI in movies than we ever realized, because we only notice it when it's really bad.

Does this change how you feel about summer blockbusters? Will it affect how likely you are to see the new Fantastic Four reboot? Spoiler alert: it has a lot of CGI in it. Double spoiler alert: you're not going to see it.

In a recent interview with "Esquire," Keith Richards told everyone what he really thinks of these dweebs called The Beatles:

On this day in rock history, @thebeatles stepped into the next phase of their career: http://t.co/DX6tKMz7Egpic.twitter.com/bKAOnZ4CS9
— UltimateClassicRock (@UltClassicRock) August 6, 2015

Celebrity musician drama has a long history. Ye bards of olde probably talked sh*t about each other's lute tuning hundreds of years ago. Now, in modern times (but practically a hundred years past the apex of their rivalry), Keith Richards is still throwing shade at The Beatles:

[Interviewer]: I've been thinking about Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper, and The White Album and listening to Beggars Banquet, Let It Bleed, Sticky Fingers, and Exile on Main St. Over the past 20 years, I've listened to that Stones stuff far more often.

[Keith Richards]: No, I understand—the Beatles sounded great when they were the Beatles. But there's not a lot of roots in that music. I think they got carried away. Why not? If you're the Beatles in the '60s, you just get carried away—you forget what it is you wanted to do. You're starting to do Sgt. Pepper. Some people think it's a genius album, but I think it's a mishmash of rubbish, kind of like Satanic Majesties—"Oh, if you can make a load of shit, so can we."

We get it, The Rolling Stones are gods among men! Never have they stepped a foot wrong! Mick Jagger will always be considered much sexier than Keith Richards! The world turns!

He also managed to blame horny women for why The Beatles stopped touring so early:

[Interviewer]: You couldn't hear the music.

[Keith Richards]: No. Especially in those days—there were no PAs. And 3,000 screaming chicks could just wail you out of the whole place. Just looking at the crowd, you could see them dragging the chicks out, sweating, screaming, convulsing. Astonishing, even at that age. At the same time, a whole roomful of chicks yelling at you is not so shabby, either. Because the year before, nobody would look at you. But they talk about us—the Beatles, those chicks wore those guys out. They stopped touring in 1966—they were done already. They were ready to go to India and shit.

You hear that, ladies? You drove them away with your rabid thirst. Next time you're at a One Direction concert, keep your mouth shut and your legs crossed, or Zayn won't be the only one flying the coop.

This beats my theory that Daniel Radcliffe and Harry Potter are actually two different people.

Call me Dumbledoor! (In case of copyright infringement) (via Getty)

Yes, I know fan theories are never true and they're usually concocted by people with way too much time on their hands, but there's something I absolutely love about them. There's nothing like finding (and stretching) all the little pieces of evidence that prove the Rugrats are actually dead or Ferris Buller is a figment of Cameron's imagination. As a global phenomenon, Harry Potter has been subjected more than most properties to such crazy speculation. (For example, if you're ever bored, go through this page, and you'll discover all the insane ways people thought the series was an allegory for global politics in the early 2000s.) The latest Potter-centric theory to go viral, however, deals with "The Tale of the Three Brothers," a fictional folktale that appears in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

The tale goes like this: Three brothers come across a dangerous river, where Death has intended for them to die. They build a magical bridge to cross it and foil Death's plans. In response, Death rewards each of them with one wish. This, of course, is Death's deceptive way of trying to kill them again. The eldest brother wishes for the world's most powerful wand. After getting it, he is robbed and murdered for it. The middle brother wishes for a stone to resurrect dead people. After getting the stone and resurrecting his dead lover, he realizes that she will never be the same as the woman he once knew. He kills himself to join her in the afterlife. The last brother, the youngest and wisest of the three, doesn't trust Death. He wishes for a way to avoid Death throughout his life. Death gives him an invisibility cloak and he lives a full life, only greeting the reaper "as an old friend" when he's ready to pass on.

It didn't take people long to figure out that Voldemort is supposed to be the oldest brother, Snape the middle one, and Harry the youngest; if you've read the series, you'll realize Rowling kind of hits you over the head with this. Harryjxmespotter, a user on Tumblr, recently added another to the allegory, however, and people are treating it like a total mind f*ck:

Ok Snape, Voldemort and Harry are the three brothers but do you realise that Dumbledore is Death? He greeted Harry at King's Cross and was the one behind Snape and Voldemort's death.

Yep. That makes total sense. Even though it's kind of obvious, it's a cool theory nonetheless. Not as cool as the theory that Moaning Myrtle was moaning because of PMS, though.

Every once in a while, Jolly Old England reminds us why we got rid of her.

Care for a bit of the burn and rip? Too bad, old chap. It's illegal.

On Wednesday, the UK's High Court overturned a law passed by Parliament that legalized copying digital items you've already paid for onto CDs, DVDs, or backup hard drives. This makes some of the most basic functions of iTunes illegal, as well as the simple act of backing up your computer. The decision covers all copyrighted material, so if you have any games or computer programs that you didn't program yourself, you're a criminal if you protect your computer against a crash.

In short, you can't rip any CDs, you can't make a copy of a movie you legally downloaded, and you can't back up anything on your computer you didn't program yourself. Said the UK's Intellectual Property Office when asked to explain exactly what the High Court's decision meant, “It is now unlawful to make private copies of copyright works you own, without permission from the copyright holder – this includes format shifting from one medium to another."

If you didn't realize making copies of things you paid money for was illegal, you're not alone. Not many Brits did either, and they were ripping music they paid for on iTunes onto CDs willy nilly with the silly belief that paying for music (or movies or any kind of copyrighted media) meant they owned it. Parliament wanted to make the common sense understanding of the law into actual law, so they passed a bill allowing people to copy their own files.

Surprise, surprise, media companies challenged it. It would hurt their revenue, they argued, if people didn't have to buy music, movies, or software over and over and over if they wanted to play it on different machines or if their machine broke. The High Court agreed.

The party that could end up suffering the most is Apple, since they could be held liable for every single person who uses iTunes' CD-burning capability. Which is a lot of people. Like, basically everyone.

Don't worry, though, media companies have a solution: if the government would only be so good as to set up a tax on blank CDs, DVDs and other storage media, they'd be willing to drop their case in exchange for that tax money. In the US, we call that extortion, but I believe the Brits call it "extourtion."

What about America, you ask? Well, obviously we've had our own problems with media groups like the RIAA and MPAA suing people, but their focus is more on sharing files. Currently, there's no explicit ban or endorsement of media shifting (transferring a file between mediums, like an MP3 onto a CD). It's technically illegal, but the RIAA won't prosecute you because they know there's a chance the Supreme Court would end up ruling it technically legal. So, hooray for a sort of default freedom.

This 1997 story reel is going viral among fans of Farley and/or ogres.

It's hard to imagine Shrek with anybody but Mike Myers doing his voice. But back in 1997, DreamWorks was planning to make the movie featuring his SNL cohort Chris Farley. Unfortunately, Farley's tragic death that year at age 33 made that version impossible. Before that happened, however, DreamWorks made this animatic as a demo, and now, it's finally surfaced on the Internet.

It is strange to see Eddie Murphy's Donkey interacting with a non-Scottish Shrek, but it does work. There's no reason to think the movie wouldn't have been just as beloved with Farley in the lead role.

It's also a sad reminder of how much more work Farley could have done if he'd lived. He was still in his prime, and as funny as ever. Don't do drugs, kids.

We're all guilty of ignoring the warning signs at some point.

I used to cruise around town with the dashboard in my car lit up like a Christmas tree. The car would be loudly knocking and clunking, and I'd just turn up the radio. My friends would say, "You should really get that checked out." I would shrug, "Nah, I'm sure it's fine." A few weeks later, I'd be shocked when I was stranded on the side of the road. Wow, that came out of nowhere!

In relationships, I was the same way. Guys would say things on a first date like, "I can't be monogamous." "Everyone says I have a drinking problem." "My favorite band is Creed." "Have you read Dianetics?" "I live with my parents." "Be right back, going to go put powder on my balls, they're really sweaty." "All my exes are psycho." "What's your bra size?" Or say nothing, and just stare at me like I stare at dollar pizza slices at 3 am.

Each time a red flag would pop up, I'd just crank that music a little louder. Nah, I'm sure it's fine. Except of course, it never was fine.

Check out these comedians* biggest red flag blunders.

I dated a guy who said he'd recently broken off his engagement. (That's a red flag, but hey, I was living in the moment.) Later, I found out his engagement wasn't called off when he went to Arizona for a wedding... HIS OWN!!!

-Eliana Horeczko

I was on a date with a girl and when she walked in she said, "It's hot as balls in here." That was a huge red flag because you have to be around a lot of balls before it's a standard measurement of temperature.

-Brett Druck

I dated a guy who just moved back to NYC after a few years in London. He told me his CRAZY ex boondoggled her way to London with him, tagged along, and he hated it. I remember hearing that story and being like, "SHE is crazy? Sounds like YOU were too much of a wuss to communicate."

I wish I had taken that as a red flag and walked away, but of course I didn't. One day, after 4 months of dating, he simply never showed up for plans and I never heard from him again.

-Selena Coppock

I went out with a girl from a dating site and on our first date, she pointed out every handsome guy she saw. Her profile said, "books and basketball," but when I asked her about either, she said she doesn't like them, she was just trying to attract the most guys. Those were red flags, for sure, but she was really pretty, so I kept dating her.

-Casey James Salengo

I went on a date with a guy who kept bringing up that he was unemployed. Then he asked me how much cash I kept in my apartment.

I was like, "Ummm none."

Then I told him I had a big dog, even though I don't.

-Alyssa Wolff

Never trust a woman in a fedora. Every girl I've ever been on a date with who was wearing a fedora has screwed me over. Not sure if this is a well known thing, but it's 96.7 percent accurate. Fedora= huge red flag.

-Greg Stone

When I first started seeing this guy he told me he'd beat me with my own mic stand if I ever cheated on him. I don't know how the hell I ignored that red flag. That relationship was a lot of me waking up to phone calls in the middle of the night with him yelling “where are you!" Long story short- dating a guy like that is great if you want to feel like you're in a Liam Neeson movie.

-Subhah Agarwal

My biggest red flags:

1. Wolf lamps

2. Wolf blankets

3. Literally any wolf memorabilia

-Kerryn Feehan

I was on first date with a girl, who talked the entire time. In two hours together, she never asked me a single question or even let me finish a sentence. I put her in a cab and couldn't wait to go home. Huge red flag, but we went out a second time and ended up dating long term. It was the worst relationship I've ever been in.

-Brian Jian

Once when I asked a guy what he did for a living he said, "I'm an agent, like in Entourage"

Um.

-Alison Leiby

The moral of this story is stop ignoring red flags. That weird feeling you get when your date says something off? Pay attention to it! You'll save yourself a lot of trouble down the road. It's much easier to get an oil change when that little light comes on, than to blow out the entire engine because you didn't (happened to me, oopsie!)

If you see something, say something: "Bye."

*I also asked 10 regular people what their biggest red flag was, and they all said, "Comedian."

(Images via Thinkstock/Amazon)