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Cute Harry Potter actors get into a pun-laced Twitter "feud." J.K. Rowling steps in to break it up.

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Two of Gryffindor and Slytherin's most famous faces are at it again.

Kiss and make up...please.

Tom Felton, aka Draco Malfoy, has a new movie coming out called Risen, in which he is again cast as a guy who gets in a lot of face-to-face altercations with someone more popular than him:

"Look at this wand, uh, sword!"

After the trailer was released, fellow Harry Potter alum Matthew Lewis, aka Neville Longbottom (more like Neville Hotbottom, amirite?), tweeted this at his former co-star:

https://twitter.com/Mattdavelewis/status/637357388346081280?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

So sweet. Not only do they tweet at each other, they apparently also still hang. Tom Felton responded to Matt's well-wishes by alluding to some sort of game planned for the weekend, writing:

https://twitter.com/TomFelton/status/637358129739530240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Oh, snap! You're gonna come at him like that? About his HOUSE? Shots fired! Matthew responded:

https://twitter.com/Mattdavelewis/status/637358649271296000?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

That's when J. K. Rowling was woken from the pod in which she rests until it is time to hit SEND on the perfect tweet, and jumped in with this:

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/637360947963801600?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

10 points for every house for use of the word "arses." But how did the game go?

https://twitter.com/TomFelton/status/638043473015382016

Damn, sorry Neville. We can't all be Slyhthewinners. Though following Tom Felton on Twitter always feels like a win when there's stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/TomFelton/status/635751073819590656

 


Can you tell which of these crazy-sounding fall hair trends are real and which we made up?

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Half of these hairstyles are legit fall trends predicted by fashion experts. Half are completely made up.

All require robust financial resources and a steady hand. Can you tell which ones are real? (Scroll all the way down for the answers.)

1. Bronde

Not brown. Not blonde. Bronde. Do you understand why it's called "bronde"? Do you get it?


2. Wet Look

This style uses gel to slick back hair so it appears damp, like you just hopped out of a shower, ocean, or rainstorm.


3. Bean Bagging

Two mini buns evoke everyone's favorite type of dorm room furniture.


4. Babylights

These micro highlights around the hairline and crown imitate the natural streaks kids get from playing in the sun. All the hair benefits of childhood without the lack of agency.


5. Moonlights

These chunky all-over highlights mimic the natural way that moonlight shines on tresses. This is a great look if you don't get outside at night during the full moon as much as you mean to.


6. Creamy Yellow

This very light golden hue has so much white in it, it's like cream. Or a lovely, light, unripe corn on the cob.


7. Soft Bloods

Deep blood red shades balanced with subtle auburn highlights are dominating the runways. Not recommended for those who get queasy easily.


8. Deconstructed Chignon

The classic formal updo is transformed by messing it up.


9. Upside Down Roots

Natural haircolor is visible at the tips instead of the crown for a funky, unique effect. This can also be achieved by only letting people look at you while turning their head upside down.


10. Tortoiseshell

Caramel, cinnamon, chocolate, chestnut, and other delicious-sounding golden brown tones are combined to look like a tortoise's shell.


11. Frizz Digest

A variety of curl shapes and patterns are combined for a lively style. Frizz is lame if it's an accident, but cool if it's on purpose and takes a long time.


12. Snooze Button

This look mimics how hair naturally appears when a person presses the snooze button so many times that there's no time to do anything to it before work.


Real: 1. Bronde, 2. Wet Look, 4. Babylights, 6. Creamy Yellow8. Deconstructed Chignon10. Tortoiseshell

Fake: 3. Bean Bagging, 5. Moonlights, 7. Soft Bloods, 9. Upside Down Roots, 11. Frizz Digest, 12. Snooze Button

13 extremely clever and artistic uses of emoji that say more than a text ever could.

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Emoji is supposed to be a shortcut.

Why go to all the trouble of writing "k" when you could just select a smiley face with sunglasses on? These people went the other way with emoji and made some impressive works of art in miniature.

1.

BRB.

2.

You fancy, Mr. Sun. 

3.

The part of Up that didn't make you weep.

4.

The Japanese version of a Fourth of July flag cake.

5.

#satire

6.

Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam, a.k.a. "Pull My Finger."

7.

Good work, theater kid backstage. Good work.

8.

This sold to an art gallery for chamillions.

9.

"It's Arrested Development."

10.

RIP Diana, Princess of W(h)ales.

11.

Um, that's exactly what those red and blue circles are for, idiots.

12.

"Would you like to play?" "Chess. Let me just checkers something first."

13.

Sperm in emoji: The logical successor to a dick pic.

 

The 15 best Twitter reactions to James Bond writer deeming Idris Elba too "street" for 007.

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Double-O P S. ("Oops." Get it?)

https://twitter.com/ElizaBayne/status/638767291732103168

Long story short, novelist Anthony Horowitz has been hired by Ian Fleming's estate to continue the James Bond books, keeping as close as possible to the style of the original 007 novels.

https://twitter.com/brendlewhat/status/638711033004224512

Horowitz gave a big interview to the Daily Mail about writing Bond and restoring him to his "shamelessly macho killing machine" days. They also discussed the movies.

https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/638730179091808256

He's a big Daniel Craig fan, but of famed English actor Idris Elba, he had this to say: "For me, Idris Elba is a bit too rough to play the part. It’s not a colour issue. I think he is probably a bit too “street” for Bond. Is it a question of being suave? Yeah." 

https://twitter.com/martinMmorrow/status/638764211091312640

Despite the "it's not a colour issue" disclaimer, many online thought it was.

https://twitter.com/FrankConniff/status/638728883462926336https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/638694071159013376

More importantly, they couldn't understand what the eff he was talking about. I mean, have you SEEN Idris Elba?

https://twitter.com/JohnnyMcNulty/status/638770165061173248https://twitter.com/mikecavalier/status/638785299028541442https://twitter.com/ztsamudzi/status/638764084658200576https://twitter.com/danwilbur/status/638716358851756032

The author has since apologized. A lot.

https://twitter.com/AdmiralAkbrown/status/638729519407345664https://twitter.com/alutkin/status/638768378484793344https://twitter.com/Jonirja/status/638761920288419840https://twitter.com/lukemckinney/status/638726891499876352https://twitter.com/FattMernandez/status/638727218961756160

In conclusion, always cast Idris Elba. For everything.

Article 42

Jimmy Kimmel uses emojis to get to the heart of the Nicki Minaj-Miley Cyrus VMAs incident.

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Well, when you put it that way, it seems so simple.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/838716

You might have heard that over the past few days, a lot of famous people have said a lot of things about a lot of other famous people, which sometimes made them sad. The previous sentence was a pretty evocative summary of everything that's been going on, in my opinion, but Jimmy Kimmel went into a little more detail last night on his show. He explained exactly who said what at the VMAs, and linked celebrity feuds with the poop emoji forevermore.

James Bond author doesn't think Idris Elba can play 007 for the exact reason you're afraid of.

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According to Anthony Horowitz, the writer of an upcoming James Bond novel, Idris Elba is "too street" to play Bond.

Party foul.

Similar to the way fans started campaigning for Donald Glover to play Spider-Man, there has been a fan campaign for Idris Elba to play James Bond in an upcoming movie.

Related: The 15 best Twitter reactions to 'James Bond' writer deeming Idris Elba "too street" for 007.

The current writer of the Bond novels, Anthony Horowitz, was asked about his opinions on the campaign by The Daily Mail (Ian Fleming is dead, so the people who own the rights to the character commission other authors to write new Bond novels). Horowitz told them the following:

For me, Idris Elba is a bit too rough to play the part. It’s not a colour issue. I think he is probably a bit too “street” for Bond. Is it a question of being suave? Yeah. 

It was pretty messed up thing to say, seeing as terms like "street" or "thug" often have racial connotations, and also because it shortchanges Elba's acting chops and his ability to play different characters. Horowitz was quick to apologize on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/AnthonyHorowitz/status/638757024000557056

Get ready for some op-eds about this.

'Star Wars' Facebook page strikes back at sexist comment about Stormtrooper armor.

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A Star Wars Facebook fan art contest recently posted some work for the female Captain Phasma character, which drew great praise and one questionable comment.

Everyone loved it, with one exception.

The Star Wars Facebook moderator felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and responded perfectly.

The user deleted the comment, and hopefully learned a valuable lesson. He is presumably in hiding, possibly on the ice planet of Hoth.

Related: Allow me to explain why these 9 female superheroes are dressed impractically for work.


Single Britney Spears has a message for men at her live shows: 'Suck my f***ing %&#.'

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Either Britney's developed a foot fetish, or she has her own style of fierceness.

Bathed in the glow of pure girl power.

Britney Spears's Las Vegas residency is in full force right now, and the 33-year-old is arguably at the top of her powers. More so than ever before, she's confident and in charge. She's also single as all hell, and she'll be the first to tell you – she's not ready to mingle. These days are all about Brit.

That's why, in this clip from her show on August 26, she unleashes with a very powerful, but oddly specific, put-down for all the world's dudes.

https://instagram.com/p/64E9gKQFH9/

That's right, fellas. You can suck her fucking toe. What does that mean? It means putting her foot in your mouth and applying pressure. Beyond that, we're stumped. Britney clearly is confident in saying it, though, because this isn't the first time. She said the same thing in another concert on August 22, which was also captured on video (skip to 1:04 to hear it):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENXBJpVsjjU

It's great to see Britney being so empowered, but her choice of words might come back to haunt her. The Internet is full of foot fetishists who would be all too willing to suck her toe. Need proof? Check out the more than 2,000 user-uploaded Britney Spears photos on wikiFeet, the celebrity feet website.

And if you find you're still looking through wikiFeet an hour after reading this, congratulations on learning something new about yourself.

I went on a first date to the most disgusting place in New York: the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

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Have you ever been to Port Authority? It's gross and weird.

Looking for romance while inhaling exhaust fumes.

If you're traveling to or from NYC, I highly recommend taking literally any other form of transportation besides a bus that pulls into Port Authority Bus Terminal. Train, car, Segway, camel, even walking across the George Washington Bridge would be more pleasurable than spending time in Port Authority. Some parts of the Port Authority smell like a cigarette that was lit in 1979 and has been burning ever since. And I'm pretty sure all the farts from Times Square are pumped directly into the bus terminal on 40th Street & 9th Avenue.

Ladies rooms exist, but I advise against using them.

Once in 2004 I was waiting for a bus to my parents' house and two kids were running around. They were dividing their time evenly between chugging Mountain Dew, eating Cheetos, and darting across the terminal. I kept thinking "one of these kids is going to puke," and then one of them did. A man came to mop up the vomit with a bucket full of water that looked like it had never been changed. I thought to myself, "I hope no one goes near that spot," and then I witnessed both kids sit directly on the former puke-spot and start playing with dinosaur figurines.

Token sleeping dude.

So yeah, not an ideal place for romance. But I like a challenge, so I asked a guy to meet me there for our first date. I showed up for the date early, just to make sure we would have somewhere to sit and talk besides aboard a bus driving away from the dismal bus depot. As I walked around, I witnessed a man getting arrested, probably for the crime of attempting to bring a ray of sunlight into this dark, low-ceilinged wasteland. Then I found this place, down by gate 78:

"It's like eating off a tire!"

Although Snacks 'N Wheels piqued my interest, I settled on McAnn's because it was a real bar, and we would both need to consume some alcohol.

The windows look out to the inside of Port Authority, not the outdoors.

I came back up to street level to meet my date, and a man wearing only a hospital gown and sneakers started following me, staggering as he pointed to his wristband. When I didn't respond to him, he walked into Au Bon Pain where I hope he got the help he needed. It was definitely unsettling, but not out of the ordinary for Port Authority.

I met my date and we headed for McAnn's, where we drank tequila while two guys played pool behind us. The men playing pool were quite a duo; one was well over 7 feet tall and the other was about 5'6", and when Hozier's "Take Me To Church" came on they both sang along with so much heart. My date and I exchanged a look, basically letting each other know we thought it was really funny but we should NOT laugh out loud because he would probably get beat up.

At one point, the shorter guy scratched and when he smacked the pool table, an ancient plume of dust appeared that didn't settle for a whole minute. For a moment, I was positive we'd entered a vortex.

We left the bar and wandered around the bus station, where we saw this odd piece of art, depicting people waiting to go through a door or something? I don't know. Nothing in this place makes sense. We decided the statues are actually real people who are frozen in time, and anyone who stays in the terminal too long turns to stone.

Turning to dust while awaiting the bus.

My date and I decided to explore the upper levels as well. We went up to the top floor, which is a great place to go if you like exhaust fumes, frighteningly narrow escalators, and buses that are maybe driven by ghosts. As we stood at the top of Port Authority looking down, my date informed me that sometimes escalators eat people. Did you know that?! It's terrifying. Be careful on escalators, guys.

We safely returned to ground level, uneaten by an escalator.

We had come to the end of the attractions at the bus station, but on our way out we found what we decided was a missed connection:

It's the one in red marker.

In case you can't see it on your phone:

Fernanda! Find me!

I hope Fernanda sees this red-Sharpied message and reconnects with her true love. As for me, my date and I had such a good time we headed across the street to a bar called Beer Authority to keep drinking and talking. The date was sort of romantic, but mostly just because we were both making fun of all the same stuff in this strange parallel universe we decided to explore. Is that romance? I'm asking honestly, because I know so very little about romance.

I don't know if it was because of, or despite going on a date to the grossest place in the city, but I'm still seeing the guy I took to Port Authority. It's been over three weeks, so it's already my third longest relationship. For real.

The Auschwitz Memorial thought it would be a great idea to cool off hot tourists with mist showers.

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Someone should have realized this was a bad idea.

https://instagram.com/p/7ASXgYvibz/

You'd think the people who run the Auschwitz Memorial would have a process where every time they add a new feature, they ask themselves: Hang on, is this going to seem insensitive about the Holocaust?

Apparently, that's not the case, based on their new misting showers to cool down hot tourists waiting in line at the former Polish Nazi concentration camp [updated to more clearly reflect that the Nazis were the bad guys here], which is now a Holocaust museum. The showers are upsetting Israeli tourists who find them reminiscent of gas chambers used to kill Jews and others in large numbers during World War II. As one man told the Jerusalem Post: "All the Israelis felt this was very distasteful. Someone called it a 'Holocaust gimmick.'"

The folks who run the Auschwitz Memorial took to Facebook to explain that it was all just a big misunderstanding, they were just trying to keep people from fainting during a heat wave, and anyway that's not even how gas chambers worked:

https://www.facebook.com/auschwitzmemorial/posts/10152975655066097

Sure, good point about Zyklon B, guys. Still, you might have had less trouble with angry tourists if you'd chosen to keep them cool with, say, shady awnings or water fountains or free mini electric fans. Something to remember for next summer.

A woman got a creepy OKCupid message, and live-tweeted what it's like to be cyber stalked.

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Writer Maggie Serota got a message on OKCupid from a guy who had done an enormous amount of work to find out more than she wanted to share.

Before she even knew how deep it would go...

You can read Serota's tweets below, in which she starts to parse out the unnerving message she received on her private OKCupid account from a very avid fan, who also seems to be saying they would never date anyway. Because of her taste in music. Not because he's an obsessed weirdo, that's fine!

There's a lot to read, but here's one of the best quotes from his first message:

"I've come across your tweets, Maggie, occasionally and tangentially, from conversations on basketball twitterdotcom. Happened again this morning, can't even remember where it originated now, but as other times I was more intrigued by your avi than your attempts, successful or not, at humor. Despite the huge sunglasses and the small phone screen. Typical shallow male, as I'm sure you're plenty used to. Anywho, this time it led me to take a look at your timeline, the intrigue now growing with your wit, eclectic retweets, sensibility and cats. Then the okc tweets were fun and poignant and eye opening - wow she's there/here? Too much intrigue, but how old is she and what does she look like behind those dark lenses? Googling was necessary and so easy."

Shudder.

https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636673667858984960https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636673852542615552https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636674032662777856https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636674874719600640https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636676375626125312https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636677517911265280https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636686646478417921https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636694069641650176https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636955367822499840https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636957931657928704https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/636965213871468544

Since Serota shared the letter, she's been getting a lot of hateful messages from folks who say she exposed this dude, though there was no identifying info in his messages. Even the guy himself wrote her to say it was her own fault that he cyber stalked her:

If it were me, though, and I'd wanted to keep my online dating profile anonymous and separate from my social media presence, a fully reasonable desire, I would not repeatedly talk about said profile on social media.

What does she say?

https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/637331341797892096

But that doesn't quite stop the flood of men in who think stalking is a compliment:

https://twitter.com/maggieserota/status/638440027048034305

Nothing is private anymore! Especially your sexy dating profile/life. So do the smart thing: when you ask a person out on a date, pretend you've never Googled them. 

Miley Cyrus is squad-shaming Taylor Swift.

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What did we even used to talk about?

https://instagram.com/p/7EZkluQzCs/

Miley Cyrus says that she doesn't want to be in Taylor Swift's squad. Yeah, no one does anymore, now that Nicki Minaj has vanquished them.

https://instagram.com/p/7D6yIzDvCW/

Cyrus made her feelings on the matter very clear in a new feature in the New York Times:

While a pop star like Taylor Swift may be gathering “musicians, actresses, models, entrepreneurs,” she said, “I’m not trying to be in the squad.” She continued, “None of my friends are famous and not because of any other reason than I just like real people who are living real lives, because I’m inspired by them.”

Then the reporter was probably like, "I asked you what you do to get ready before a show." Then Miley was probably like, "Have you heard that I smoke a ton of weed because I just love feeling high due to drugs?" Then the reporter probably accepted that newspapers are dying and got a job as a software engineer.

Here's how to show up to a BBQ with a peeled watermelon like some kind of sugary magician.

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Summer's almost over, but here's how to seem mildly competent at food in just 10 minutes for your Labor Day get-together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6vVuj3iggE

Not only did I not know it was possible for someone to do this (to be fair, I hadn't given it much thought), I certainly didn't know it was possible for someone like me to do this. YouTube how-to guy Mark Rober's method is easy as hell and looks really cool. Even if you already guessed how to do it, the video is worth it for this:

Uncle humor. Like dad humor but without the baggage.

How many men did 'The Golden Girls' bed? Someone took on the awesome job of counting.

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Let's just say "Hello" was an effective opening line with Blanche Devereaux.

When it comes to tough reporting gigs, re-watching all of The Golden Girls doesn't sound tough, but keep in mind this was a seven-season network television show. That's a lot of episodes and a lot of canned laughs for the folks at Refinery29 to dig through. While watching, they recorded every reference to past lovers and husbands, as well of mentions of successful dates and conquests during the show's run. If you haven't seen the show, maybe this will entice you, since there is no way anyone on Girls has boned anywhere near this number. If you have, the rankings probably won't surprise you, but the numbers will.

Specifically the number 263, which is the total. Whoah. You might think that averages out to an average of just under 66 dudes per Girl, but that's not even close.

Which is to say, it's pretty much all Blanche at an applause-worthy 165.

Dorothy Zbornak shtupped a healthy 43.

Rose Nylund admitted 30 men into her select-club.

 

And Sophia Petrillo only found 25 men worthy, although one can only guess how many hearts she laid to waste.

See the full investigation over at Refinery29.


Seasonal

19 of the most creative text message responses to wrong numbers.

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1. 

Instant karma for sending that message.

 2.

Hey, at least it's something.

3.

This is a standard great response.

4. 

Soooooo weed?

5. 

Are you Linda now? How about now?

6.

How can he be wrong with a style like that?


7.

Maybe one of the cats is named Tina?

8.


Looks like someone finally called him on his bluff. (via Runt of the Web)

9.


But things seemed to be going so well.(via reddit)

 

10.


At least these four are hitting it off.(via imgur)

 

11.


He's got his one phone call figured out.(via reddit)

 

12.


A good reminder that things can always get worse.(via imgur)

 

13.


He looks genuinely concerned.(via reddit)

 

14.


Sometimes it's hard to look yourself in the eye.(via reddit)

 

15.


Of course a guy named JD would wear a necklace like that.(via reddit)

 

16.


Still, it was probably a great party.(via reddit)

 

17.


Kassidy probably needed to focus on her academics anyway.(via imgur)

 

18.


This is how great romances start. (via reddit)

 

19.


Holy wrong number, Batman!(via reddit)

20.


Alex is probably jealous of this.(via imgur)

Workplace

That pregnant French tourist story was hoax. Okay fine, she really is French.

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"I found him." That means, "Here's my web of lies," in French.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv4wyfmheLY

In case you missed it, a video went viral this week of a lovely French girl who claimed she'd met the love of her life one night on a trip to Australia, and she needed help finding him because UH OH, baby on the way. Turns out, it was a big, dumb lie created to draw attention to Mooloolaba, a resort-y part of Australia. This follow-up video above was released by the company who conceived of the idea, attempting to clear everything up. Some people are outraged, but most just want to kiss the imaginary Natalie Amyot:

My Queen!

We're still not really clear on what the hell Mooloolaba is. Is it a town? A resort? A frame of mind? A poorly conceived viral video that will forever associate the word "Mooloolaba" with lying liars who lie and don't use a condom?

All these questions and more can be answered at Sunny Coast Social Media!

These exes sat down to ask each other brutally honest questions about why their relationship ended.

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If you could ask your ex anything in the world, would you film it and make a viral video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfdlIMlPmuA

These exes asking each other honest questions has everything you want in a viral video: sadness, crying, regret, and more. Glamour set up an interview between two college sweethearts who dated for seven years but now have been broken up for two. We start right out of the gate with the guy insisting he "did not, like, do the act of cheating," before immediately admitting to doing "hand stuff" and "mouth stuff." Normally I try not to negatively judge people based on what they're wearing, but this guy is being such a jerk that I feel fine saying his hat is stupid. 

We also hear unexplained references to "Burly," "Laura," "Ian's room," "Rebecca and Winston," and "Marsha." It kind of seems like they were coached to name-drop as many of their friends as possible to weave together this depressing tapestry of their time together. 

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