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But seriously, there's now proof that Jon Snow is [spoilers].

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No, really guys. There's really maybe real proof maybe that Jon Snow isn't dead.

"For f*cks sake, can you just tell me if I'm alive or dead already?"

According to Game of Thrones site Watchers of the Wall, Kit Harington, who plays Jon Snow, hasn't just been spotted in Belfast near the current Game of Thrones filming — he has been spotted on set.

That means we have proof one of the following things:

  • Jon Snow is not dead.
  • Jon Snow appears in a flashback in the upcoming season.
  • Jon Snow has become a wisecracking ghost and is appearing on GoT briefly before launching his own half-hour spinoff, Snowed In, about a family of four trapped in a house with Jon's ghost.
  • Somebody involved in making Game of Thrones is a cruel prankster and realized that if they sent Kit Harington to stand around in costume on set, we'd totally think that Jon Snow was actually alive when he's actually DEAD DEAD DEAD. Which is an equally brilliant and cruel way to keep a secret. 
  • Kit Harington is in denial that his character has been killed off and has been hanging around set in costume even though nobody asked him to be there. Sorry, buddy. :(

Watch this guy get shot with a taser in super slow motion, and you'll never stop cringing.

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Start your weekend with a good dose of, "Holy crap. Ow. Owee ow ow! F*ckkkkkkkkk!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=576HwhU6PMM

Tasers: They probably won't kill you, but they sure can make you feel like you're getting bear hugged by death. The Slo Mo Guys recently turned their many-frames-per-second cameras to these li'l shockers, and the resulting video provides a balance between "I don't want to look" and "I have to look" that's perfect for staring in fascinated horror or terrifying your squeamish friend. You know the one.

Warning: There's a bonus shot at the very end of this video that made me go "Aw, f*ck!" loud enough to startle my cat.

Workplace

These people thought they were cleverly smuggling contraband, but they weren't clever enough to not get caught.

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It's not easy to sneak drugs, exotic animals, and other highly regulated substances across borders.

These people thought they had a foolproof plan for sneaking past customs, but they were hilariously, obviously, overconfident in those plans.

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When a lady says she has to "powder her nose," this is literally what she means.

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That solid orange color work? It's actually a liquid methadone-like substance smuggled to prisoners to help them beat heroin addiction. Prison is neat!

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The only fire this put out was the lame party fire.

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Nobody would ever associate a surfer with drugs.

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Drugs inside of drugs. Like nesting dolls, but with drugs.

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A burrito, stuffed with goat meat, stuffed with drugs.

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The bad news is that they're last year's phones, and the worse news is that they were in some dude's underwear.

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Never trust anyone with a fanny pack, especially a bird.

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That's why they call him "Ol' Pigeon Pants."

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No, no post-factory modifications have been made to this van, why?

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A hollow pineapple full of cocaine still costs less than a glass of pineapple juice at brunch.

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This is a pretty tired method.

 

Jimmy Fallon interviews Donald Trump as Trump and trumps Trump.

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Props to the wig designer.

Jimmy Fallon did his best Trump impression with the actual Trump on the other side of the mirror on The Tonight Show. "Trump" interviewed Trump, and naturally, hilarity ensued. Jimmy did ask him some legitimate policy questions, to which Trump replied with vague answers. When asked specifically how he would create jobs, Trump said by "by doing it, it just happens." Trump then tossed the question regarding a wall with Mexico back to Jimmy, and Jimmy said that he'd challenge Mexico to a giant game of Jenga and quit once it was all set up.

As for his possible running mate, Trump gave a solid endorsement to Kanye West. At this point, it would not be surprising. All in all, Trump was a good sport about the impression of himself and the actual desk interview, and that's probably because Jimmy is a white male.

A New York Fashion Week model wore unlaced boots and lost a battle with gravity.

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Her knees are scraped but her pride is intact.

Candice Swanepoel is a Victoria's Secret model who took a face-first tumble during New York Fashion Week when her unlaced boots somehow failed to provide ankle support. They may as well send them down the runway wearing figure skates dipped in butter. She handled it like a champ, laughing it off after being quickly helped up by several people. She even posted a pic of her battle wounds on Instagram:

She even did that funny bow at the end that you only do when you've completely embarrassed yourself in front of several people. It happens to the best of them, and it's nothing a little champagne and ridiculously priced skincare products can't fix.

Subway received one very serious complaint and it wasn't about stale bread.

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Seems like one you might want to follow-up on.

Not a mug shot.

Subway has completed an internal investigation and said it received one serious complaint about Jared Fogle in 2011 from journalist Rochelle Herman-Walrond. She happens to be the same reporter who helped the FBI build a case against Jared for four years which resulted in him pleading guilty to charges this summer. She made the complaint after Fogle told her that "middle school girls are hot."

Subway spokeswoman Kristen McMahon said the complaint was serious but "nothing that implied anything about sexual behavior or criminal activity involving Mr. Fogle." Technically she's right: it is not a crime to tell a reporter that middle school girls are hot. It's also technically stupid not to have a closer look at your spokesman when he casually says such things to reporters. Let us close the book on this stupidity contest for good.

A jewelry store asked a very controversial question for a promotion.

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Asking about "Friday" instead of the date would've sufficed.

They have the answers.

A Zales in Omaha, Nebraska, decided to have a sale on the one day a year you can't have a sale and then promote it with the worst sign in history. This is some next level tastelessness. I'm surprised they didn't offer wine tasting flights along with the question "ask us about flight 93!" or maybe "sales so hot they'll melt steel." 

The store manager told the NY Daily News that the promotion was a corporate idea. Who knows how high this thing goes; the diamond industry is already full of shadowy international business practices. The bad news for Zales is that just like diamonds, the internet is forever.


Amy Schumer tells Stephen Colbert what she drunkenly stole from Jake Gyllenhaal's apartment.

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She had her cake and ate his too.

Amy Schumer told Stephen Colbert that while she rented an apartment belonging to one Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal, she would get drunk and eat his cake. To be clear, it was very old cake. Very old, frozen cake that she found in the freezer. It takes commitment (or the right amount of alcohol) to make frozen cake your drunk snack.

It sounds like it could be too good to be true, but not from Amy Schumer. She brought along a video clip for proof showing her going to town on that cake while she was loaded. With her bare hands. These are the types of clips we should see more of on late night television. Promoting movies is boring; drunkenly devouring cake is glorious.

Phoning In The New Year.

Sports

Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah


Chosen knowledge.

Another year.

Deafening New Year's.

Grandparents embarrassing their families on social media is the best way to celebrate Grandparents Day.

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Hackers can't come close to embarrassing you online as much as your grandparents do.

Grandparents Day is September 13, so here's a look at grandparents doing what they do best: being inappropriate on social media because they're too old and DGAF.

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I dunno, Carla seems up for whatever, a cool chick who can hang.

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Grandpa, you remind me of Herschel.

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Hey, she's buying, what's the problem?

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PLEASE DON'T HURT YOURSELF UNTIL YOU FIX OUR FACEBOOK.

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You see, "come" is a homonym…

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Grandma should've just reiterated how toot she looked.

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Grandpa, using Grandma's account.

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[High-five]

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Old people love jam, and now I understand why.

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Grandma was always a size queen.

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Well it's good that not everybody here is dead then.

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You see, "Depends" is a line of adult diapers…

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Like cat pictures and stuff.

 

Grandparents Day

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