Flirting
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You'll now be able to use a GIF as your Facebook photo.
Facebook just announced that you'll be able to use GIFs as your profile photo. According to Wired Magazine:
The most significant update for profiles is easily that your photo no longer has to be a photo at all—now, you can have a profile video. “You’ll be able to film a short, looping video clip that will play for anyone who visits your profile,” Facebook writes in a blog post announcing the changes. This is not a drill—I repeat, this is not a drill: You can soon have a GIF profile photo on Facebook. It also might be the single most-used home for iPhone Live Photos.
This comes with a string of new updates, including a new emoji-friendly bio section, a "Featured Photos" space, and a new profile layout that will look like this:
Time to start GIF hunting!
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Twitter comic @Fart trolls CNN, talks Ed Scissorhands instead of Ed Snowden. They don't notice.
HLN (formerly CNN Headline News) invited John Hendren, professionally known to his 83,000 Twitter followers as @fart, to share his opinions about Edward Snowden on the air. But he spent the entire interview talking about a different (but also notorious) Edward, who happens to have hands made out of scissors:
Well, you know, to say that he couldn’t harm somebody with what he did—he could, absolutely, he could. But to cast him out, to make him invalid in society simply because he has scissors for hands—I mean, that’s strange. People didn’t get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and whatnot.
The interviewer doesn't notice or alter her questions at all, which only makes @fart's bit stronger.
To this moment, @fart maintains it was an honest mistake, though it's hard to take someone seriously when their name is @fart.
We're blowing a big raspberry at that one, Jon, but only out of the highest respect.
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Here's what it's like when your friend is going through a break-up.
Going through a break-up is hard, but supporting a friend through a break-up is so much harder. They're always bringing you down by making everything about their dumb ex. And then when your well-meaning friends try to help by saying things like "My mom was 35 and had a single friend," they only make it worse. Meanwhile, you can barely focus on all the great things happening in your own life! Ugh, the worst.
The folks at Above Average know exactly how crappy that feels. Check out their video "Why It Sucks When Your Friend Goes Through A Breakup" below, and do not reply to your sad friend's texts no matter what.
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Somewhat Topical
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We don't know how to say this, so we'll just blurt it out: The Rock's puppy died.
I'm so sorry. I don't know how to say this, and I don't know if you'd want to hear it from me, a random person on the internet. But it's time that you knew. Brutus, the beautiful little puppy companion of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, ate some toxic mushrooms and has gone to the big farm upstate, and by that I mean The Rock pulled the plug and he's dead now. As he explained in his heartfelt Instagram tribute, "At approximately 11:15pm last night myself and @laurenhashianofficial had to make the painful decision to end Brutus' suffering by taking him off of life support and sending his soul to pup heaven." The Rock "held his lil' paw as he was finally at peace."
Brutus was an honorable French bulldog, who had evaded death previously. The Rock rescued him from the pool over Labor Day weekend, and soon after, he was sick and rushed to the hospital.
We're so sorry for your loss, Dwayne. Sending our love to you and the other puppy, Hobbs.
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Singer Ricki Lee posted a no-makeup selfie, and the freckle-haters came out to play.
Australian singer Ricki-Lee Coulter (presumably no relation to Ann Coulter?) posted a no make-up selfie to Instagram and Facebook. Unlike some controversialno-makeupselfies from the past, you can actually tell she's at least not wearing any foundation, because the girl has got freckles!
Along with the picture, she shared this cute little story about her pop:
When I was a little girl I hated my freckles but one day my Pop told me they were just a whole lot of beauty spots & that girls with freckles are special. Now I love them!
Cool! Oh, wait, this is the Internet and when someone does something innocuous or slightly sweet another person takes a poop on it. There were apparently so many people coming out of the woodwork to tell Ricki-Lee her freckles are garbage, she had to comment this:
A performer telling potential fans to GTFO? That's even braver than a no-makeup selfie. Though she still appears to have plenty of supporters:
And also seems to be in living her best life:
Freckles FTW.
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Kim Kardashian West responds to hard-hitting allegations about her unborn baby's name.
Have you heard that Kim Kardashian West is having a baby, or are you willfully ignoring the world around you? Kim K.W. is expecting a baby boy on Christmas Day, and she addressed the wild name speculation on Ellen today. While there have been rumors a-flying that the chosen name is Easton (to go along with directionally-named sibling North West), Kardashian said that she loves the name but doesn't think Kanye is into it. She also says South is out, which is probably best for all involved. Kardashian maintains that she starts the process of picking a name "at about eight months," which is still a month away, and is almost definitely total lie. Come on, we're all thinking about it. And the clear winner is definitely Ellen's suggestion of "Wild Wild."
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This police report of a man stealing a raccoon to start a car is the year's best short story.
One of the best things on Imgur right now is this incident report of a literal drunken sailor who used a raccoon to start his breathalyzer-equipped car when he was too drunk to start it himself. The raccoon, unconscious from having all the breath squeezed out of it, was discarded on the car floor. When it eventually recovered, it raised holy angry mammal hell:
Okay, so the bad news is: this story is probably not true?
Boooooo! But on the other hand, we got to have a laugh without any actual raccoons getting manhandled by drunk idiots. Plus, we'll always have this little boozer:
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Kitten survives 9 weeks in the forest without back legs, is now half-machine and all adorable.
A two-legged kitten named Cassidy is now the proud recipient of a new wheelchair to replace his missing hind legs. He takes to them perfectly, and you can almost see the joy in his eyes once he realizes he has control over his mobility. This little warrior has a background story that makes him sound like a Navy Seal or even Wolverine from the X-Men:
This tiny feral kitten lost both back legs when he was born and somehow managed to survive nine weeks in the forest. It is a medical miracle that he survived even a day with such severe injuries, let alone nine weeks. His little body had just about given out from starvation and infection by the time we rescued him, but he never gave up!
He survived 9 weeks in the woods with half his appendages. Most humans would not survive 9 hours in the woods if their cell phone had half its power. It is also worth noting that the good folks at Mountain View Veterinary Hospital who nursed him back to health did not give him a name reflective of his physical challenges, like "Deuce" or "Scooter."
May Cassidy have a fruitful and playful life. Who knows, they may even have to outfit him some rugged tires or snowshoe attachments if he chooses to be an outdoors cat again.
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This is what happens when you confuse builder's foam with hair gel.
Somewhere in Eastern Europe, a woman wound up in the hospital after confusing a can of expanding polyurethane building foam for hair mousse. By the time she realized what she'd done, her hair was full of the stuff, and rapidly expanding into a massive beige pompadour that Donald Trump would die for. A picture of her resignedly sitting in the hospital has gone viral on the Internet, and it's not hard to see why.
Although it's blown up online in the past day, Mashable has discovered that this image was originally shared on the Russian website Yaplakal back on September 16. It just took a couple weeks to go viral because that's how fast the Internet works in Russia. Thanks, Putin!
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You can now clone your dog for just $100,000.
You can now clone your dog for $100,000, which costs slightly more than going to a fancy breeder or paying those numerous shelter adoption fees (jk, go adopt a dog). Sooam Biotech, a South Korean company, offers the service to dog owners who can't imagine loving anything other than the exact same dog over and over again. Sooam is located in a suburb of Seoul, not on a remote island laboratory. They use somatic cell nuclear transfer (SCNT), the same procedure that created Dolly the sheep, the first cloned animal in the world. Skin cells from the deceased dog are injected into a donor egg which has had its DNA removed. To use human reproductive technology terms we know and understand, it's a little bit like in-vitro fertilization with a surrogate mom.
Two years ago, Paula and Phillip Dupont paid to have their dog Melvin cloned. Melvin was one of those once-in-a-lifetime dogs, apparently, and they had two puppies cloned from his DNA before he passed away. The clones are Ken and Henry, and the Duponts are thrilled with them. They acknowledge that there are subtle differences between both dogs, but insist that they are quite similar to the original Melvin. Having the clones helped aid in their grief when Melvin passed, and that's what drives most of the requests for dog clones at Sooam Biotech.
Man's best friend better be your best friend if you're willing to drop $100,000 on a psuedo-resurrection. Hopefully, no future dog clones become zombies that turn on their owners, because international law is a bit unclear on how you return a vicious and defective clone to South Korea.
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Chill-ass hero dolphin rescues woman's phone from the Atlantic ocean, complete with video.
This footage of a dolphin saving a woman's phone will make you want to go clubbing with a dolphin (not because they're great dancers, but because phone-rescuers are always club heroes). Teressa Cee, a dancer for the Miami Heat, was swimming with dolphins in the Bahamas when the person who was holding her phone dropped it off of the floating dock. A concerned Millennial dolphin then retrieved it and brought it back up, because dolphins are chill like that. Even though it probably doesn't work anymore, the dolphin still wins the "Sea Creature You'd Want to Have at the Bar With You" award of 2015.
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A man survived this wreck in one piece. His vintage 80s sports car did the opposite.
In Winter Haven, Florida, police reported to the scene of a "horrific crash" involving a classic sports car and a seemingly indestructible tree. 20-year-old Carlos Pino was driving his silver 1986 Nissan 300ZX when he lost control while maneuvering through a turn. His wheels began to skid on the wet roadway, and the car ended up flying off the road and striking a tree by the driver's side front wheel. The impact was strong enough — and hit at precisely the right spot — to split the 29-year-old sports car clean in two.
Pino was airlifted to Lakeland Regional Health with non-life-threatening injuries. It's a good thing he was wearing his seatbelt at the time, because evidently that's the most durable part of a 1986 Nissan 300ZX. The Winter Haven Police Department posted the photo above, along with several more nightmarish images, to its Facebook page. It's part of their effort to educate the public about the dangers of driving while under the influence of being bad at driving.
What lesson is there to be learned from this story? Is it that young people shouldn't drive cars 9 years older than they are? Or that wet roadways are a threat to us all? Or that seatbelts really do save lives? Or is it that life is random and death awaits us around every corner? Yes, it's that one.
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This woman found a disgusting unholy abomination in her juice box.
A U.K. woman found an alien slug in her apple juice and it's disgusting. Lorna Fisher and her boyfriend bought some apple juice boxes that were made by Tesco, a big British food manufacturer. Upon taking a sip of one, Lorna noticed that it tasted "horrible" and "rancid," like "off cider." She opened the carton with a knife and found this harbinger of nightmares:
She called Tesco about it. They gave her a refund and released the following statement:
The high quality and safety standards we set ourselves have not been met in this instance and we’ve apologised to Ms Fisher. [...] We have asked her to return the product so we can investigate with our supplier.’
It's probably mold (who are we kidding, it's probably a brain-eating parasite but "the man" will insist it's mold), but still, no refund can abet the psychological pain this juicebox hath rung upon its sippers.
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Kenan Thompson has a really creepy Bill Cosby story.
Kenan Thompson was on Late Night with Seth Meyers last night and had a creepy Cosby anecdote. Thompson was known for his Bill Cosby impression (aren't we all?), and actually collaborated with Cosby on the Fat Albert movie. When the movie was about to come out, Cosby told Kenan that he'd need "two d*cks" because "the women would be all over [him]." That must've been really weird to hear at the time, and it's only weirder and creepier now. I'm sure Kenan Thompson can never utter the words "Hey! Hey! Hey!" again without slightly vomming, but fortunately, I don't think that many people ask him to do it.
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These pick-up lines from around the world show that cheesiness is a global phenomenon.
Cut.com sent a producer around the world to find out what awkward things people will say to try to date a stranger. Locals share pick-up lines used in New Delhi, Bangkok, Berlin, and Bogotá. (And a wise Parisian woman concludes that "there is no real phrase to approach a girl. It's just about the art of conversation.") Some of the pick-up lines are convoluted. Some are earnest. Some seem like the foundation of a loving relationship built on mutual understanding. Just kidding. But some do have puns.
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Thinking Of You
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This teenage girl's body positivity video is surprisingly artful and sweet.
This video made by teen queen Genny Zuniga was posted to The Bully Project, an anti-bullying campaign that may sound like an incubator for future bullies, but is actually named after the documentary Bully. The Internet frequently puts out body positivity videos, to the point that we've become a bit jaded about public stunts and performance art. This one is so simple, sincere and sweet, even our bitter hearts expanded a few sizes.
Beautiful, Loved, and Important!!!This is the most powerful video we have ever seen about body image!!!!"I have dealt with negative body image ever since i can remember. I made this video not only to explain a little more about myself, but to let anyone struggling with this same issue know they are NOT alone. if you have no support, let me know and i will be your bathtub full of support. i love all of you, please let me know what you think!" - Genny ZunigaGenny, as a high school student you have strength and courage way beyond your years! We are so glad you are a part of our community!! You are our #Upstander of the week!!!! Thank you for being so very brave!!!! You are an inspiration, and you are 1000% #beautiful , #loved and #Important!!!#stopbullying
Posted by The BULLY Project on Thursday, September 17, 2015
Hey, that was actually inspiring! Keep bathing in love, Genny, you deserve it. We're going to go drink a glass of wine in the love tub, too.
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Peeple is an app that rates real people, so everyone's bosses and exes are screwed.
Peeple is an app that lets you rate humans, just like you would rate a restaurant or bar on Yelp. It will allow you to rate anyone on a star scale of one to five. What could go wrong?! To review someone, you must be 21 and have a legitimate Facebook account, and reviews then appear publicly under your real name. Raters must confirm how they know a person in one of three categories: personal, professional or romantic. To add a rating for a new person on Peeple, you must have that person’s phone number. Positive ratings post immediately, whereas negative ratings are queued for review in case of disputes (presumably you get a notification that someone said you suck). If you haven’t registered for the site, your profile only shows positive reviews. So just stay off the app and you'll look like a saint.
The app is a startup founded by Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullough. Julia comes from a sales and recruiting background, and Nicole is a mother and homeowners association board member that wanted a better way to vet people she interacted with in her community.
As two empathetic, female entrepreneurs in the tech space, we want to spread love and positivity. We want to operate with thoughtfulness.
Entrepreneurs in the tech space are interested in making money, and that's it. Apps that rate people have come and gone before, and unless an app provides true entertainment or utility, it does not last long. Interestingly, if you need a recommendation about a company or service, you can already just reach out to people in your Facebook network. Then you don't run the risk of receiving a two-star rating like that terrible Chinese restaurant down the street.
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More Pages to Explore .....
