Being pregnant and giving birth are both terrifying ordeals undo themselves, so pregnant ladies, you are more ready than the rest of us for Halloween. But you shouldn't have to sit out the parties and fun because you're knocked up. Instead, make the life growing inside you an unwitting part of your costume.

1. A pumpkin.

2. A baby skeleton.

3. Come in like a wrecking ball.

4. Humpty Dumpty.

5. The Death Star.

6. The milkman's baby

7. The Solar System.

8. A gumball machine.

9. Popcorn.

10. A bun in the oven.

11. Mike Wazowski.

12. Trick or treat!

13. An alien worm baby monster thing.

14. Krang!

15. Juno.

Jewel Shuping has Body Integrity Identity Disorder, which is a condition where a healthy, able-bodied person believes they are meant to be disabled. It used to be called Amputee Identity Disorder, since feeling as if a limb shouldn't be there is the most common variant, but for Jewel, it took a different form. All her life she's been sure of one thing: she should be blind. And now, thanks to drain cleaner, she is! Wait, what the eff?

Jewel says she can remember struggling with her condition since the age of 6, when she used to stare directly into the sun for hours after her mother told her that it would cause blindness. By the time she was in her 20s, she was "blind-simming" or pretending to be a blind person with a cane and thick black sunglasses. Eventually she met a psychologist who aided her in the self-blinding process by squeezing drops of drain cleaner into her eyeballs. There is no info on what has since happened to this "psychologist." We want Jewel to be happy, but that seems to violate a few medical oaths. If this is all very confusing (it should be), maybe watch Jewel explain her motivations herself: 

Jewel says she is not crazy, she has a disorder and one that is pretty difficult to understand. Even though she is very happy to finally be blind, she discourages anyone experiencing some form of BIID to follow through on it on their own. Even someone who self-blinded themselves recommends seeking professional help if you're thinking of doing something similar. So, please, if you're thinking of doing something similar: seek professional help.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you're probably aware of the debates and exhaustive congressional hearings that have been taking place over Planned Parenthood. People who don't want abortions to ever happen, no matter how medically necessary, have been trying to shut the organization down, almost taking the whole government with them. At the same time, pro-choice folks across the country have been speaking up for all the services PP provides to American women, from STI testing to breast cancer screening — particularly for those in lower income brackets who may not be able afford basic gynecological services elsewhere. Amanda Duarte, however, wants to point out what no one seems to want to say: ABORTIONS ARE LEGAL.

An abortion superpark with a waterslide? Oooh, that's inventive! (And rather like a story from TheOnion that fooled pro-life politicians.) What was intended as a rant to blow off steam about liberal hand-wringing over a safe and legal procedure quickly went viral. Amanda wrote about the experience for Marie Claire, saying:

When we emerged and rejoined the grid, I checked my phone.

Holy shit.

I thought it was broken. I thought there was some kind of glitch.  My phone glowed hot in my hand. I had hundreds of friend requests. I had in fact hit the limit for friend requests, which I now know is one thousand. The post itself? Over 20,000 likes. I was suddenly the focus of the vast and terrifying panoply of human digital behavior. 

Again, I thought this must be some kind of mistake, some weird algorithmic shart​. Then I started reading the comments and messages, which were overwhelming.​

An overwhelming number of the messages Amanda received were positive, but she quickly saw the other, nastier side of being a viral pro-choice voice:

But mixed in with the encouraging responses were people calling me a whore, a murderer. There was a holy trinity of the c-word: stupid c-nt, f-cking c-nt, insane c-nt. Many people cordially invited me to end my own life. A group called Chicks on the Right called me a godless monster—right underneath a post celebrating the recent deaths of hundreds of Muslims in the stampede at Mecca. Pro-lifers!

A lot of people sent me violent and graphic messages telling me to abort myself (the logic here mystifies me), then immediately blocked me so that I couldn't respond or access their profiles. I guess that's a popular tactic. I would never have thought of it, because I never send hateful, violent messages to people simply because I disagree with them, and then so fear their response that I scurry away and hide. The other thing I learned is that some people will send you a hateful message, hover over their screen until the moment they get a read receipt, and then quickly delete it, so that you cannot report it to Facebook or the police. 

While Amanda stands by her statement overall, she admits to one regret:

I have one other regret, by the way. There were women who said that they agreed with the post, but that their abortions had been painful, tragic, or both, and that they found my statement to be insensitive to them. I could have been a bit clearer about this. I meant that the fact of abortion, the existence of it, is not itself tragic or painful—it just is. 

We'll see if this clarification makes her haters marginally more reasonable.

Jennifer Lawrence stuffed a bunch of marshmallows in her mouth sitting around the campfire with Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth. They were at "Camp Mockingjay" to promote their new movie, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2. The marshmallows are the result of a fun game of truth or dare, along with other camp traditions like ghost stories and hearing different places in which J-Law has peed (a totally normal campfire game). 

We also learn which of these stars does not wash their hands after using the bathroom, and who can do a spectacular job of blowing spit bubbles. But just like all The Hunger Games movies, Jennifer Lawrence is the star of this video.

An xoJane author who goes by the pen name "Lola Jane" has recounted the harrowing true story of how she got a formal rejection letter from her gynecologist over her conduct during an appointment. In her article, she describes tense interactions she had with both the receptionist and OB/GYN, as well as a pointed letter she sent after the encounter. Whether you sympathize with her or with the doctor will say more about you than it does about the story.

It started when Jane was asked by a receptionist to fill out the standard forms before her appointment. She refused to specify her marital status or whether she uses a car seatbelt, because she felt those were private issues not relevant to her care (seatbelt use is deeply personal). When the receptionist asked her about the blank spaces on her form, she stated that she wasn't going to fill them in. Once she was admitted to the examination room, she complained that the robe she was provided didn't fit her, but was told that was the only size. But it wasn't until the doctor came in that things got really tense.

Jane's gynecologist conducted her exam, and then started to walk out of the room. Jane stopped her, asking if she was going to test her for STDs. When the doctor explained that they stopped automatically testing at 26, Jane (who is 28) asked for the tests. A similar exchange happened about a blood test. The doctor gave Jane the tests without complaint, and then the appointment was done.

But later, the blogger was still angry about how she had been treated. She sent her doctor a letter to express her feelings. In her article she describes it as "tongue-in-cheek," but it's possible that tone was lost in the reading. You can decide for yourself:

Thank you for the delightful Pap smear. Even though you don’t have a single gown in your office that in any way clasps in the front, I will still be back again next year.

I am concerned however, that you in no way mentioned STIs or sexual health during my exam. I was touched that you asked me both my marital status and if I wear a seatbelt, but nothing was mentioned about sex, the fact that people have it, or that one can get diseases from it.

When I brought up testing, you said that you stopped automatically asking women after age 26. Had I known that if I had just held out I would completely bypass the risk of AIDs, I may have just waited until 27 before becoming sexually active.

You also didn’t explain that an exam does not cover all STIs and that I may want to consider a blood test to ensure I’m covering all of my bases, but luckily, as a presumably celibate or disease-immune woman of 28 I don’t have to worry about such issues.

After my strongly worded letter, I hope you reconsider these practices.

A few days later, Jane received a letter from the doctor's office. Although it was very cordially worded, it was, in effect, a "dear Jane."

Jane called the office to ask about the letter, and had a brusque conversation with the receptionist, who accused her of treating the whole staff rudely. What do you think? Is Lola Jane a confident woman who was treated disrespectfully and reacted within her rights? Or is she a total nightmare? It's impossible to know for sure, but that won't stop people from having very strong opinions about it. That's what the Internet is all about.

Swedish businesses have started adopting 6-hour-workdays, and after reading about it, you'll want to clock out right away. The change is centered around the idea that it's better for employees to work shorter shifts where they can concentrate more intensely than it is to clock a full eights hours with multiple lapses in concentration.

A Toyota service center that adopted the policy has reported "happier staff, a lower turnover rate, and ease in enticing new employees," and according to an app developer in Stockholm:

I think the 8-hour work day is not as effective as one would think. To stay focused on a specific work task for 8 hours is a huge challenge. In order to cope, we mix in things and pauses to make the work day more endurable. At the same time, we are having it hard to manage our private life outside of work [...]. We want to spend more time with our families, we want to learn new things or exercise more. I wanted to see if there could be a way to mix these things [...] My impression now is that it is easier to focus more intensely on the work that needs to be done and you have the stamina to do it and still have energy left when leaving the office.

Although the positive effects have the 6-hour-workday have not yet been scientifically proven, the effects of the average American workday (8.7 hours/day) on health are confirmed by researchers to be negative on many levels. An Oxford University scientist has argued that a 9-5 schedule is "at odds" with our body's natural rhythm, and that people who work 49 hours a week or more have "lower mental health." Super overworked people who work 55 hours a week or more have a "33 percent greater risk of having a stroke than people who worked a 35 - 40 hour week," in addition to having a "13 percent increased risk of developing coronary heart disease."

Show this article to your boss and gtfo of your office right now.

When it comes to teenage-ish girls (22 year olds are still teens, IMHO), I'm a "glass is half full" kind of person. By which I mean I believe that if a bunch of teenagers saw a glass half full of water, they could easily spend 20 minutes taking selfies with it. (#optimism #8glassesaday #blessed) Thus, I was not surprised to see this clip from a recent Diamondbacks game of ASU’s Alpha Chi Omega sorority members just taking pictures of themselves. The game's commentators narrate their photo sesh with slightly fearful wonder, as the girls totally ignore the baseball and just take shot after shot of themselves with churros and hot dogs.*

No, the revolution will not be televised. But you will be able to see it in the background of some college girl's duck face Instagram shot. 

* Because if you didn't eat on Instagram, it's like you didn't eat at all. 

This dog was given a cupcake for his birthday and he straight-up demolished it. His name is Max, and he respectfully waited for permission to eat it after his owner put it on the ground. But the second he got the signal, he fired on all cylinders, making his birthday celebration the shortest known to man's best friend. 

Deputy Carl Zink of the Garvin County Sheriff's Office found himself in a sticky situation when he was swarmed by honeybees after responding to the scene of an overturned tractor-trailer on Interstate 35 in Oklahoma.

The big rig was carrying millions of bees, and the furious, confused insects attacked the police cars when they arrived. Zink captured the incident on video from inside his SUV, as well as this photo of what the engulfed vehicle looked like from outside:

Here's Zink's first video, in which he is completely surrounded:

Finally, the Fire Department arrived and hosed off the front of the truck, after which Zink says the bees regrouped in the rear. Here, his video has been added to news chopper footage of the scene:

According to the Sheriff's Office, Zink was assisting with traffic control "when his unit became disabled at the accident scene due to the bees covering the windows," which is a very mild way of saying "when nightmares came to life." Apparently, the deputy made it out with only one sting! Was it this guy?

Aww. It would be cute if it weren't an advance scout for millions of its vengeful beethren.

Today is one of those days, which is really awful since it should be a really unusually terrible day. But, it's still a big world out there, and a big world includes beautiful things like this story from Imgur user Cmycherrytree. With a post simply titled "As long as I live I will probably never see this again," maybe it's not shocking that the "surprise" they found in a rose their daughter picked is resonating so strongly on the Internet today.

OK. Back to the human world. Ugh.

What is it that makes us human? Is it our ability to create beautiful art and music? Is it our complex web of feelings and critical thinking skills that constantly put empathy and logic at odds? Or is it that we stand on two legs like the goddamn fancy kings of animals that we are? I'm guessing it's the third one, because if it wasn't, this video of a biped bear from New Jersey wouldn't be nearly as disturbing. Fortunately, the mystery of why it walks has been solved.

We've actually written about this guy before, and his two-legged antics that make it seem like he'll wander up to you and adorably ask for a pic-a-nic basket. But do not approach the bipedal bear. If you do, he will knock out and steal your clothes. Then, when you finally wake up and make your way home, you'll discover that the bipedal bear has taken over your life — and your partner didn't even notice. 

At least, that's what I'd do if I was a bipedal bear. Not that I've thought about it. 

Other than potentially taking over your life, the bear isn't a threat, though. It turns out that this poor guy walks on his hind legs because his front paws are injured: 

Being in love might feel epic, but it doesn't always look epic. A lot of the time, it just looks like two unshaved people on the couch together, wearing sweatpants and discussing what show to binge-watch next.* But occasionally, the look of real love matches the crazy, epic look of movie love, like in this picture taken by Sydney photographer Sam Yeldham. He was trying to take a time-lapse photo of the storm, but then noticed the couple standing out on the pier, and snapped a picture.

Yeldham was reluctant to approach the couple at the time, which is probably good, because nobody on their wedding day really wants some dude running up and yelling "Hey! I took your picture! Do you wanna talk to me, a stranger, instead of heading over to your reception?" But when Yeldham put the picture on social media, people started encouraging him to find the couple. That turned out to be Chris and Jessica Galvin, who found out about the image within a few hours of it getting posted on BuzzFeed. They were pretty stoked about the photo, as anybody would be if they found out they were now the subject of The Best Wedding Picture Ever. If you're curious, here they are in a lovely photo that has been drastically overshadowed:

* I recommend the first two seasons of Hannibal.

With 13 more months to go until the 2016 election, the only thing that could make it not horrible is if we had cute kids as our pundits. Jimmy Kimmel Liveput together the cutest group of talking heads to discuss the presidential candidates. Just like us, they confused Hillary Clinton with Martha Washington, Donald Trump with George Clooney, and Chris Christie with Barack Obama. Leave it to Jimmy Kimmel, the best toptomotrist, to add a breath of fresh air to our political discourse. 

Today in people who dish it out but can't take it, the entrepreneur in the latest frontier of cyberbullying. Julia Cordray, co-founder of the "people-rating" app Peeple, a platform to rank fellow humans, is sad that people are criticizing her platform for criticism. 

People are rightfully mad about Peeple, and voiced their legitimate concerns on the app's Facebook page, and Cordray can't handle the influx of negativity.

Here are highlights from the Facebook page:

Cordray is playing the victim in this whole ordeal, and posted the following inspirational message of resilience on ForThePeeple.com:

An Ode to Courage: Innovators are often put down because people are scared and they don’t understand. We are bold innovators and sending big waves into motion and we will not apologize for that because we love you enough to give you this gift. We know you are amazing, special, and unique individuals and most likely would never shout that from the rooftops. The people who know you will though…they choose to be around you and in your life and support you even when you don’t like yourself. We have come so far as a society but in a digital world we are becoming so disconnected and lonely. You deserve better and to have more abundance, joy, and real authentic connections. You deserve to make better decisions with more information to protect your children and your biggest assets. You have worked so hard to get the reputation you have among the people that know you. As innovators we want to make your life better and have the opportunity to prove how great it feels to be loved by so many in a public space. We are a positivity app launching in November 2015. Whether you love us or our concept or not; we still welcome everyone to explore this online village of love and abundance for all.

The app's founders even posted a Teddy Roosevelt quote and a clip from a talk by motivational speaker Brené Brown to show they can triumph over criticism:

Which was met with:

Please make the healthy choice and abort Peeple.  

"My name is Miley. I'm an international phenomenon and my name is Miley and everyone knows that."

In anticipation of hosting SNL on Saturday, Miley Cyrus and her heart ring stopped by The Tonight Show and Fallon conducted an emotional interview. Switching between emotions and situations at the sound of the bell, Jimmy got defensive and fake polite with Miley. Or should we say "Morley"?