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Here are the most popular Halloween costumes in every state so you know what to avoid.

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Life is full of tough questions, like, "what's the meaning of life?" "Why do good things happen to bad people?" and "Should I be a sexy nurse or sexy kitten for Halloween?" Good news about that last one: someone figured out what nearly everyone else will be wearing on this All Hallows Eve and compiled it into one handy and colorful map. Now you can avoid being the 6th-best Elsa at the office party.

What's that, you want to be a Minion? OVER MY DEAD BODY, THIS IS TENNESSEE AND YOU WILL BE A HARLEY QUINN WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! 

That someone was Miss Cleo the psychic! Remember her? She knows all. Ok, it wasn't her, but would've been pretty cool if it was.

I see a sexy Frankenstein in your future.

America's Favorite Halloween Costumes By State 2015 was actually created by Influenster. As much as "Influenster" may sound like a microorganism that infiltrates your brain and tells you what color fishnets to buy, it's actually a company that asked more than 40,000 users across all 50 states about their costume plans for the big night.

Take a look at what popular disguises everyone will supposedly be sporting this Halloween... I don't see one Jared from Subway costume in the bunch, so take a hint. That hint being that you should definitely not do that.

 


Man comes home to discover what his Christmas-obsessed roommate thinks is OK for October.

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Some people take Christmas more seriously than others. If you decide to becomes roommates with a person like that, mid-October is exactly when things start to get weird. While many of us are still scrambling to decide on a creative, yet tasteful Halloween costume, (Sexy Pizza Rat? Sexy Donald Trump's Combover? Sexy Empty Shell of a Person?) one very impatient, yet festive, person took it upon themselves (during the "one f***ing day" his roommate went out of town) to spread a little holiday cheer... for the wrong holiday.

Nightmare (way) Before Christmas. 

We're talking full size tree, giant inflatable candy cane, snowmen, stockings, the works. It looks like Buddy the Elf's crack den in there. It's great, but not as great as watching Father Christmas' roommate become completely enraged when he comes home and discovers his halls have been decked, in October. 

https://youtu.be/a5XA0FbxOtM

...and you thought leaving dishes in the sink was bad. 

School district bans Halloween to be inclusive, replaces it with lamest possible alternative.

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In Milford, Connecticut, parents are hopping mad over a letter they received from a local elementary school principal. The letter announced that this year, all Halloween costume parades at all Milford elementary schools will be canceled, and student and faculty alike will be banned from wearing costumes to school on Halloween. That's right—Halloween has been outlawed in Milford. It's like Footloose for scares. Booloose.

Here's the letter parents received:

https://www.facebook.com/HeidiAliceVoight/photos/a.178719652182188.50787.174706159250204/895196967201116/?type=3

Dear Families,

Thank you for attending parent/teacher conferences this week. It is so important that we connect and share the educational experience with your children together.

This year the Milford School District has decided the following:

Halloween parades will not take place in any Milford elementary schools. This decision arose out of numerous incidents of children being excluded from activities due to religion, cultural beliefs, etc. School-day activities must be inclusive. Halloween costumes are not permitted for students or staff during the day at school. Our PTA will be sponsoring a Trunk or Treat night where children may wear costumes and will have appropriate activities for all grade levels. Any type of classroom activity will be decided by the teacher and must to be Fall themed, not Halloween. and food is not an option. Please look for more information from the PTA regarding the Trunk or Treat night.

Sincerely,
Mrs. M.

This decision, which was made by the district, went over very poorly with Milford parents, who look forward to dressing their children up in costumes they don't understand and marching them along in the parade every year. A petition has even been started to restore the Halloween festivities, but with such short notice, it seems unlikely.

Perhaps there is some wisdom in banning a holiday from a public school if some children can't participate for religious reasons. But if so, why add insult to injury by replacing it with something so cringeworthy as "Trunk or Treat night?" Most kids would rather actually become a ghost than take part in anything as dumb-sounding as that. Actually, most kids would probably love being a ghost anyway. But that's beside the point.

Breaking: Calvin Harris responded to the NSFW Taylor Swift break-up rumors with a sexy threat.

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Earlier today, many callous outlets gleefully shared the rumor that Taylor Swift broke up with Calvin Harris because he was photographed leaving a "Thai massage" place thought to give "happy endings." And they would do it all over again!

Remember this? From this morning?

Harris, obviously, is not pleased:

https://twitter.com/CalvinHarris/status/653667241251069952

This is more exciting than when Hermione joined The Squad.

This prison debate team just crushed Harvard. What's your excuse for not doing cool stuff?

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The Bard Prison Initiative was started in 1999 by a then-student of Bard College who encouraged fellow students to participate in tutoring at local prisons. They now have six satellite campuses around New York state, awarding degrees to incarcerated inmates annually. And they have a debate team that just destroyed Harvard! DESTROYED. The winning debaters, Carl Snyder, Dyjuan Tatro and Carlos Polanco, are all currently serving sentences. And the Harvard team? Well, they're pretty good at looking like stock images of angry rich kids:

"Biffy, these ruffians are ruining the debate!"

To be fair, the Crimson debaters handled their loss with grace, minus the fact that no one's taught them to not use the word "articulate," writing "There are few teams we are prouder of having lost a debate to than the phenomenally intelligent and articulate team we faced this weekend,and we are incredibly thankful to Bard and the Eastern New York Correctional Facility for the work they do and for organizing this event."

There has been some controversy over the program, as there are law-abiding New Yorkers (or at least ones who've never been caught) struggling to put themselves through college, and a plan to support BPI with taxpayer money was squashed last year. But in the long run, it costs a lot less to educate people than it does to imprison them their entire lives. The Wall Street Journal reports:

The Bard program’s leaders say that of more than 300 alumni who earned degrees while in custody, less than 2% returned to prison within three years, the standard time frame for measuring recidivism.

In New York state as a whole, by contrast, about 40% of ex-offenders end up back in prison, mostly because of parole violations, according to the New York Department of Corrections and Community Supervision.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3cAfuDJmYk

Turns out educating people and giving them opportunities in the work force prevents crime! The subject of the debate touched on these issues as well. The statement the BPI team were asked to defend was “Public schools in the United States should have the ability to deny enrollment to undocumented students.” It was probably hard enough for the inmates to take this position, but keep in mind they're not allowed to casually Google sh*t like we are. All their books and articles for research had to be approved by the prison administration, which can take weeks. Next time you feel like you can't face a challenge, think of these guys. They don't even have the Internet and they're better than Harvard.

This is how jarring it looks when men are photoshopped out of politics and entertainment.

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By Photoshopping men out of pictures full of powerful people, Elle turned a bunch of packed rooms into some sad, lonely scenes. This project is like an inversion of the notorious episode where a conservative Israeli newspaper digitally removed female world leaders from a photo in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo attack, or the Saudi IKEA catalogs that were identical to their western counterparts except for the invisible women. Running the process in reverse makes it clear how alone women can be in these positions of influence and leadership. Without men in these photos, Emma Watson, Hillary Clinton and Lena Dunham all resemble stragglers that fell asleep during the party and woke up after everyone left. Rooms full of politicians go from looking like a Springsteen concert in the middle of New Jersey to looking like a book club that accidentally met in a stadium.

Emma Watson before: Lotsa dudes.

It's pretty well known that women at the top are few, but seeing the pictures really shows how isolated it can feel when you're in a room full of men and you're the only women. At least the creators of the video made a bunch of fun backgrounds to jazz it up!

Emma Watson after: Maybe she farted.
Emma Watson after after: Pink!

This is a much better use of photo editing software than severely altering women's bodies, and doing things like getting rid of a butt cheek for example. Here's the full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEKo22ryWxM

 

Baby hippo won't stop trying to convince cranky crocodile that they should be best friends.

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We've all wanted someone we couldn't have at some point, and animals are apparently no different. George is a 9 month-old wild hippo from Zimbabwe who has a crush on a crocodile. It seems like a love affair that's destined to fail, but George is a hopeless romantic. Instead of being afraid of the crocs who with live with him on the Turgwe Hippo Trust, George just wants to get friendly. (Full video below.)

When bae plays hard to get...

"George was most definitely playing," explains Karen Paolillo of the Turgwe Hippo Trust, who recorded the adorable video. "He does that often, it is a game just like a puppy or a kitten." Or an emotionally unavailable 27 year old who's in a band.

According to Paolillo, this relationship (one-sided as it may be) is not unusual. "Often hippos groom crocodiles by licking their tails and hind quarter areas," she explained on YouTube. However if George really wants this croc to respect him, he should probably make him wait awhile.

You think you're better than me?

Much to George's dismay, it turns out the croc's just not that into him. After getting rejected, there's only one thing the sweet little hippo can do to nurse his tender heart... Go back to Mama.

It's OK. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and crocodiles in the swamp.

See the whole video here...

https://youtu.be/mpyye3bFzbk

 

A guy bought Google.com for a few minutes. He got a reward and doubled it with an awesome gesture.

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You may have heard recently that a man named Sanmay Ved briefly snagged the quite-valuable domain of Google.com out from under the Internet giant. Fortunately for Google, they were also the ones selling the address, so they were able to cancel the transaction the same day. How did Google discover this mishap so quickly? Well, because Sanmay told Google Security about it. Now they're rewarding him, and he convinced them to double it through a remarkably generous gesture.

The improbable sight Sanmay was greeted with early on September 29.

You need to understand that Mr. Ved used to work for Google and is a Google megafan. He was looking at Google-related domain names in at 1:40 AM on September 29 when he noticed that "Google.com" had just gone on sale. Figuring it was just a glitch, Ved put his name and credit card info down just in case. 

At this point we would've panicked and texted "STOP STOP STOP STOP!"

He was shocked when he not only immediately received emails saying he had been charged a whopping $12.00 for a year's ownership of Google.com, but started getting webmaster emails and other internal emails that clearly indicated he was now the real owner of the address.

I am become Ved, webmaster of worlds.

Ved joked in his LinkedIn post about the saga that just a day after the Indian Prime Minister visited Google and urged them to do more in India, "it ended up convincing Google to sell what is perhaps their most prized possession to a person hailing from the small city of Mandvi in the Kutch region of the Indian Prime Minister's home state...albeit just for a minute or so :)"

We're surprised Google was this restrained in their email canceling the purchase.

While a more unscrupulous person might have tried to sit back and rake in a few million Google Ad dollars before anyone noticed, it all quickly ended after he emailed Google Security to let them know he was their new boss (just kidding, he told them they had a security issue...which allowed him to be their new boss). They took it back. But the story doesn't end there, because Google, as many tech companies do, gives cash rewards to people who discover bugs or security flaws in their software and systems. 

Somehow, these kids ended up being the only ones to get money from this.

Ved responded to this offer of, as he puts it, "more than $10,000" by being even more altruistic then when he declined to try to hold on to the web's most valuable address: he told Google he wanted the reward to go to Art of Living India Foundation, "which runs 404 free schools across 18 states of India, providing free education to more than 39,200 children in the slum, tribal and rural belts where child labor and poverty are widespread. The schools nurture the complete child, including body, mind and spirit." Upon hearing this, presumably after briefly wondering whether this incredibly nice person was real, Google volunteered to double the reward.

Long story short, someone at Google made a really dumb mistake and now a bunch of kids in India will get the education they deserve. These are the kind of workplace mishaps we can get behind.


Workplace

15 purrrrfect cat Halloween costumes that your cat will hate as much as you hated that pun.

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Dressing up your pet in a Halloween costume is not just for dog people anymore. Cats are totally chill and love it when you cram them into a costume that restricts their vision and movement.

1. Frankenstein.

"Actually, it's Frankenstein's monster."


2. A lobster.

If you eat a lot of fish, karma will come back to haunt you.

 


3. A chicken.

He barely even has any costume on at all and he still looks mad.

4. A waiter.

"I recommend the lobster, or the chicken."

5. A penguin.

You can see the shame even through those tiny eyeholes.

6. Nyancat.

Internet loves cats, but do cats love Internet?

7. Nibbler from "Futurama."

Your cat thinks he's as important as Nibbler actually is.

8. A deep-sea diver.

The oxygen tank. 

9. Star-Lord.

Starring the cat from Purrks and Recreation.

10. A racehorse.

Winner of the Cat Triple Crown of sleeping, eating, and sleeping some more.

11. Cthulhu.

Aw, such adorably unspeakable horrors!


12. A pirate.

If your cat has one eye, you pretty much have to.

13. Totoro.

The best cat costumes are the ones that the cat isn't aware of.

 


14. A jack-o-lantern.

Stem included.

15. The Cat in the Hat.

I don't get it.

 

'Mac and Cheese Kid' issues video apology, still comes off as a brat.

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My now you must have heard the saga of Luke V. Gatti, the 19-year-old forever immortalized as Bacon Jalapeno Mac and Cheese kid. His pursuit of the gooey, savory, delicious dish was unfruitful in terms of satisfying his drunchies, but successful in getting him arrested. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pup7ux2WKlM

His newfound internet fame made him vulnerable to the paparazzi, aka UConn snapchatters who continued to chronicle his demise. 

No UConn geofilter?
Whoomp, there it is. 

The Daily News reports that Gatti is still enrolled in the school, but appears to be at home in his apology video, or else UConn dorms have some really fancy lamps and upholstery. He first apologizes to the staff, acknowledging that they gave him "so many opportunities to walk away" and that he was being "a complete asshole." He also says sorry to the UConn student body for representing them and having their school #trend in the worst possible way. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAvvGxRkBGI

Hopefully he'll take a long, hard look at his bro-ey sense of entitlement, and will one day finish his degree. Then he can fight for civil rights with the same tenacity as he fights for mac and cheese.

Chrissy Teigen posts photo of John Legend touching her belly, and we all know what that means.

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Oh my god, a famous person is pregnant! Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are having a baby, and our family continues to grow. Teigen had recently gone public with her fertility struggles, garnering support and positivity from all across the Internet for once in these dark, dark times. She told E! News that she'd wanted to be open for a long time but "It didn’t feel right to ever tweet, ‘Ugh, doing my IVF shots again.’" Now, the model and nipple expert has shared an Instagram post announcing that a little attractive baby is on the way:

https://instagram.com/p/8wbqn2pjVD/

She wrote in the caption:

John and I are so happy to announce that we are pregnant :) As many of you know, we've been trying to have a baby for a while now. It hasn't been easy, but we kept trying because we can't wait to bring our first child into the world and grow our family. We're so excited that it's finally happening. Thank you for all your love and well wishes. I look forward to all the belly touching! Xx

No word on if the baby was conceived by land or air.

Khloe Kardashian tweets bitter response to Amy Schumer's diss in her 'SNL' monologue.

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After so many jokes about her and her sisters, from sources all over including President Obama, Khloe Kardashian must have felt especially compelled to respond to this one. In unstoppable cosmic force Amy Schumer's Saturday Night Live monologue, the comedian brought up the Kardashians in her riff on role models for young women. Speaking about the 9-year-old girl who played her as a child in Trainwreck, the comic said:

We have to be a role model for these little girls, because who do they have? All they have, literally, is the Kardashians. She doesn't have a Malala poster in her room, trust me... and is that a great message for little girls? A whole family of women who take the faces they were born with as a light suggestion?

She then zeroed in on Khloe in particular:

We used to have Khloe. Khloe was ours, right?... But then Khloe lost her body weight—she lost a Kendall—and we have nothing."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhu7rs3Ihas

Khloe was insulted at the idea that she has lost her koolness after losing weight. She spoke out, subtweeting Amy to put her down for putting her down.  

https://twitter.com/khloekardashian/status/653293171498024960https://twitter.com/khloekardashian/status/653293551820783616

Khloe did lose a lot of weight. It's a bit of a bummer because it reinforces traditional standards of beauty and stuff. Hopefully it was by healthy means, or otherwise it would be more of a bummer. 

https://twitter.com/tinydncrles/status/648309963782139904

Olivia Wilde nailed every Hollywood cliché in Seth Meyers's 'Actathlon' challenge.

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Like Neil Patrick Harris before her, thespian Olivia Wilde accepted Seth Meyers' challenge to demonstrate her mastery of the dramatic arts by competing in the "Actathlon." In an obstacle course through Hollywood clichés, Wilde demonstrated her dexterity and ability to weave between genres. From shouting "WHYYYYYY?" to a doctor, to triumphantly taking a stand in "The Quit Pit" and being spooned by John Lutz in "The Sneak of Shame," Wilde covered all the hits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjXQlXtujAw

 

Airplane passengers turn on the flight attendants who kicked a woman off for no reason.

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Airplanes: airborne tubes functioning as giant petri dishes of bacteria and bad feelings. It's like your morning commute times a thousand. It's so rare for anything good to happen that we thank God for a safe landing because it means we can leave our cylindrical prison. In the video below, feelings are at an all-time high as a woman is forced to exit a plane amidst a mob of people booing, and that's before this angry air dildo has even taken off. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbWUEBVvlSo&feature=youtu.be

So, what the heck is going on here? We have a crying woman and a bunch of passengers who appear to be taking her side, even though she's holding up take-off. This is the series of events as described by the person who posted the clip:

This poor girl didn't hear Tim (in aisle) the flight attendant ask her to move to let someone else by. Tim then yelled for her to move and it upset her, yet she still apologized to Tim. After sitting, the girl mentioned to a different attendant Tim was rude to her. Next thing we know, the girl is thrown off the plane. After the flight about 20 of us grabbed the pilot at the gate and complained. That shear number proves Tim was just being an ass. USAir/American flight 408 (Phoenix to Portland) Oct 11, 2015.

This video is currently the highest post on Reddit's video thread, with thousands of comments, many of them telling American Airlines that they are the Devil's airline. It's hard to know all the facts from just this, and it would certainly be wrong to encourage a witch hunt for Tim's job/life. But let this be a lesson to all of us: if you act like a jerk, you might get famous on the Internet for all the wrong reasons.

UPDATE:

According to some very excited tweeters concerned with the "facts," there's a rumor circulating that this crying lady called Tim the Flight Attendant a pretty nasty slur:

According to witnesses coming forward, Female Passenger (FP) was already angry as she boarded the plane. FA Tim was attempting to usher a military passenger to his seat in the exit row. FA Tim then politely asked FP to “please hold on” three times. THREE. TIMES. She refused to acknowledge him. FA Tim then asked FP if she had heard his requests. FP then walked by FA Tim and stated “Yes I did, you f*cking f*ggot!” as she passed him.

FP was then asked to come to the front of the aircraft. She refused to do so – while playing the victim card and crying to the surrounding passengers. The crew contacted a CRO Agent, and FP was removed from the aircraft.

So to all the passengers shouting their weak-ass BOOOOOOOOOs, and blaming the crew – in the future you might want to educate yourself on what side you are supporting prior to doing so. In this case, you are rooting for a homophobic bitch who called a flight attendant a “f*cking f*ggot”. And you look like complete idiots for doing so. Congrats.

Verdict: who the hell knows. If this is true, it's obviously terrible. But can they make you exit a plane for being a homophobic creep? Actually, yes, airlines can pretty much do whatever the hell they want. The sky is the true wild wild west.


Nathan Fielder hilariously ripped off James Spader in his 'Nathan for You' billboard.

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Season 3 of Nathan for You premieres this Thursday, and the promos include a hilarious stunt straight out of the show itself.

The new billboard features Nathan on the cover of the prestigious Nathan magazine, among others.

https://twitter.com/nathanfielder/status/652166309677891584

Which just so happens to bear a resemblance to a promo campaign for The Blacklist:

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Fielder assured Kimmel and the public that the ad campaign isn't a ripoff, but is rather a classic case of parallel thinking. "I think this is one of those classic examples of parallel thinking … It’s kind of like, you know, one person will have an idea and then another person will come up with that same idea independently a year later.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRLElttdrRk

Jennifer Lawrence asks "Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Co-Stars?" in uncomfortably real essay.

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Jennifer Lawrence, the movie star known for her performances tripping at the Oscars and jet skiing with Amy Schumer, just got real in a bolder way than usual. She penned an essay about what it was like to find out via last year's Sony hack that she was earning less money than her male co-stars. In today's edition of Lena Dunham's new email newsletter, Lenny Letter, Lawrence writes:

It’s hard for me to speak about my experience as a working woman because I can safely say my problems aren’t exactly relatable. When the Sony hack happened and I found out how much less I was being paid than the lucky people with dicks, I didn’t get mad at Sony. I got mad at myself. I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early. I didn’t want to keep fighting over millions of dollars that, frankly, due to two franchises, I don’t need. (I told you it wasn’t relatable, don’t hate me).

But if I’m honest with myself, I would be lying if I didn’t say there was an element of wanting to be liked that influenced my decision to close the deal without a real fight. I didn’t want to seem “difficult” or “spoiled.” At the time, that seemed like a fine idea, until I saw the payroll on the Internet and realized every man I was working with definitely didn’t worry about being “difficult” or “spoiled.” 

These two.

She goes on to name drop Bradley Cooper, her frequent co-star with whom she is known to have a crazy energy, and other male stars who succeeded in advocating for themselves without having to worry about seeming bitchy. You can read the whole powerful (and of course, J-Law funny-quirky) essay by signing up for Lenny Letter. 

Things are obviously still super weird for women in Hollywood, but can you imagine Julia Roberts doing something like this? This is the future Maggie Gyllenhaal dreamed about!

Rihanna addressed her pregnancy rumors by opening up about her fear of large vaginas.

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Rihanna discussed her fear of vaginal expansion following childbirth with the New York Times Magazine. The interviewer, writer-filmmaker Miranda July, opened up the interview by asking Rihanna what she likes to Google, and Rihanna had a very specific way of answering:

‘‘Do you search the Internet?’’ I asked, ‘‘And if so, what do you look up?’’

‘‘Oh, random things. Like I will be sitting around Googling childbirth.’’

‘‘Could be more random than childbirth.’’

‘‘Childbirth is putting it the not-gross way. I was searching the size of certain things, and how much they expand, and then what happens after. ...’’

"The Size of Certain Things" would be a good album title. How about it, RiRi?

July later brought up childbirth again, just to clarify that it had nothing to do with Rihanna possibly being pregnant:

Now that we were side by side, I felt I could clarify something. ‘‘Hey, you’re not about to get pregnant are you? The Internet will explode when I say you were Googling childbirth.’’ She laughed and assured me she wasn’t having a child anytime soon; her fear was generalized. We wondered if there was a name for this fear, and Rihanna looked it up for us on her phone.

‘‘ ‘Phobia of a big vagina.’ ... ‘Deep.’ ... This is awful. I can’t believe I’m typing this in.’’

‘‘Wait,’’ I said. ‘‘Deep’s not an issue. It’s wide.’’

‘‘Deep is an issue, hello!’’

‘‘Huh. Cause I feel like the — I always feel short-vaginaed.’’

See? Celebrities are just like regular people, vagina-length anxieties and all.

The 11 most awkward quotes from actors about filming sex scenes.

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Actors are constantly being asked about what it's like to film sex scenes, as anyone who's read a newspaper knows. (This glowing screen you're looking at is a "newspaper," right?) Sometimes their responses are diplomatic generalizations about how acting is work, just like being an assistant to a magazine editor or founding a fashion start-up or whatever jobs normal people/Anne Hathaway movie characters do. And sometimes, like in these 11 quotes, things get juicy. (If you thought this list was safe for work, you're on your own.)

What was your character's motivation in this scene?

1. Lena Dunham on how everyone at work has seen her vagina.

I stopped wearing the nude patch after the first season of Girls. There’s not one guy who works on that show who hasn’t seen the inside of my vagina…This patch—you glue it over your vagina. It gets sweaty and always falls off. My male co-stars, at the end of the day, don’t care.


2. Henry Cavill (aka Man of Steel, sorry) on accidentally getting a boner while filming a sex scene. 

It's only happened to me once, and it was very embarrassing. A girl had to be on top of me, she had spectacular breasts, and I hadn't rearranged my—stuff into a harmless position. She's basically rubbing herself all over me and, um, it got a bit hard. I had to apologize profusely afterward. It’s not great when you're in a professional acting environment and somebody gets a boner, is it? No, not acceptable.


3. Bradley Cooper on his steamy Wet Hot American Summer tool shed meet-up with Michael Ian Black.

I remember saying, "What if we wear tube socks, and I'll go up on the wall, and you'll come from behind me." And I said in the scene, "Say my name," and Michael says, "Ben!" And I say, "No! Say my Christian name," and he whispers, "Benjamin," and that's when I came.


4. Mindy Kaling in a chapter of her book, Why Not Me?, aptly entitled "I Love Sex Scenes!"

I've had the privilege of making out with dozens of actors on camera. Once I had to do a particularly involved make-out with an actor who happens to be a married acquaintance of mine. The shot was complicated and the director spent hours shooting it over and over. The sheer number of takes made me feel self-conscious about my ability to make out in an authentically sexy way. Between takes, in a moment of insecurity, I turned to my scene partner and whispered: "God, this is taking forever. Am I doing this terribly?" He looked me in the eye, took my hand, and gently guided it to the front of his pants where I felt the unmistakable presence of an erection. My jaw dropped. He winked at me, said, "I think you're doing just fine," and dropped my hand. We never spoke of it again. It is, to this day, the sexiest thing that has ever happened to me.


5. Lizzy Caplan on pre-gaming her first sex scene with vodka at 7 a.m.

On True Blood, I've never told anybody this, but I was so nervous and then I was so drunk, that after I shot the scene I was going up to the crew members, I had just met all these people the day before and I was going up to them like, ''You got a boner! You do! You've got one.'


6. Amy Schumer on her preference of eating pie to filming Trainwreck's sex scenes.

[The scenes] totally serve the story; they belong there. As to whether I would rather just be sitting in a dialogue with someone in a diner versus having them thrusting in my thigh — yeah, I’ll take the diner and get a piece of coconut cream pie. [But] I’m glad we did it.


7. Allison Williams on the Girls scene in which—well, you know which scene it's going to be.
 

I had a couple of days talking to wardrobe and makeup to get ready to rig the thing that I wore for the ass motorboating. It was an engineering achievement! I would manufacture it if more than one person a year needed it. [Laughs] It was so elaborate—it involved Spanx that we cut away and glued down and involved menstrual pads and two of those weird thongs. I’ve had to do scenes like this twice now.


8. Actress Diane Farr on orgasm choreography.

The director tells you exactly when and where you will get off. "Get here and then orgasm" is always a strange note to take. After they're given their mark, actors can pick their own "orgasm action and sound." Maybe a back arch, or a grab on his ass while I bury my head in his chest. You're rarely crotch to crotch at climax time -- you're mostly crotch to leg. It's a grindless, thankless come. Like sex in college basically.


9. Jon Hamm using a weather metaphor to explain his infamous Bridesmaids sex montage.

It's like running in the rain. There's a certain point where you go, "Fuck it, I'm already wet. I'm not going to get any less wet so I might as well enjoy how this feels." I mean, sure, there's an awkwardness about being in a weird flesh-colored thong, bouncing on top of an actress. And I am not a small human being. I weigh at least 200 pounds and I'm six-foot-two. And Wiig is a twig; she's a skinny little thing. I told her, "Just punch me in the side if I'm hurting you." It's weird and uncomfortable at first but then all the awkwardness melts away and you think, "All right, we're doing this, so let's have fun with it."


10. Anna Paquin on how it's totally normal to film sex scenes with her actual husband.

Maybe it should be weird, simulating sex with your husband in front of people? But it's really not. When it's a love scene with someone you actually love, there's no feeling like, "Can I touch him here? Can I touch him there?" You know what your boundaries are – or what they aren't, I suppose.


11. Kate Winslet saying "nut sack."

Its a profoundly bizarre thing to do. As actors you talk about it all the time. You can literally be tangled in sheets, and you turn to the other actor and say 'What the f*ck are we doing?' Dear Mum, at work today I had so-and-so's left nut sack pressed against my cheek. It's sort of unethical if you think about it in those terms.


 

Big announcement from 'Playboy' comes as a crushing blow to masturbators everywhere.

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Playboy will no longer publish nude photos as part of a complete redesign of the magazine. There will still be a Playmate of the Month, but she will pose provocatively with clothes on instead of in the buff. The overhaul reflects the reality of pornography in the digital age, where tasteful nudes are pretty tame compared to anything found on the web. Editorial changes will also include a sex advice column written by a female, and a focus on youth-oriented art and fashion. The shift is intended to make the magazine safe for work with PG-13 imagery. This follows the website dropping nudes last August, which resulted in increased traffic and younger readership. Cory Jones, the Chief Content Officer who oversaw the changes to the website, was put in charge of the magazine in July. Founder Hugh Hefner remains the magazine’s editor-in-chief. 

Playboy was as American as apple pie.

Several famous Playboy traditions like investigative journalism and in-depth interviews will remain in place. So will our favorite feature: lists ranking the top party schools and sexiest cities. We'll see if it can survive the digital age, in which people watch absurd amounts of porn at work and will soon watch it in virtual reality.

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