Chicago artist Edward Cabral carves a better pumpkin than you. (Don't feel too bad; we bet you're better at something than he is. Like reading articles on the internet!) The classically trained Chicago artist makes work that "centers around the ephemeral and ornamental," which is a fancy way of saying, "Hell yeah, I'm gonna carve the sh*t out of that pumpkin, and I don't give a f*ck if it's gonna rot." 

Cabral told Mashable that the jack-o'-lanterns generally take six hours to complete, but can sometimes take longer. It's easy to see why:

And here's how that guy looks illuminated at night:

Cabal also carves pumpkins that feature pop culture themes and famous folks:

In addition to his seasonal pumpkin work, Cabral also works as a cake decorator. We hope that someday he decorates a cake to look like one of his carved pumpkins. Until the day that dream is realized, we'll just stare at this:

Khloe Kardashian rushed to be at the bedside of her estranged husband Lamar Odom after he was found unresponsive at a famous Nevada brothel. Odom is a former NBA star who played in Los Angeles for both the Lakers and Clippers, and appeared alongside Khloe in Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Khloe and Lamar filed for divorce in 2013. Dennis Hof, the owner of Love Ranch, confirmed an ambulance had been sent to his establishment near Las Vegas and that Odom had been treated by paramedics and stabilized before he was taken to the Desert View Hospital.

Lamar's former teammate Kobe Bryant also went to Las Vegas to see Lamar, where he is said to be in critical condition and fighting for his life. Kris Jenner is reportedly at the hospital and accompanied Khloe to Las Vegas. When news of Lamar's emergency broke, Kylie Jenner immediately ended a livestream on her website:

Khloe's sister Kendall Jenner also expressed her concern for Lamar's life:

Several friends and NBA players took to Twitter wishing him the best:

There are as of yet unconfirmed reports of possible drug use by Lamar during his stay at the ranch. Hopefully he receives even more love and support by friends and family as his struggle continues.

For a while, William Shatner lead the race to capture our online hearts with his campy spoken word performances, but in the past few years, his former Star Trek co-star George Takei has pulled ahead with his savvy Facebook presence and millions of passionate fans. But the social media competition isn't what sparked their intense dislike of each other. The two have famously been feuding since Takei said Shatner was difficult to work with on the set of Star Trek. Yet, they made such great work:

Anyway, Shatner cannot stop griping about George Takei. In a recent interview with News.com.au, Shatner kicks up the dust again, presumably annoyed to be asked once more about his former co-star:

He is a very disturbed individual, the truth of the matter is. I don’t know him. I haven’t seen him in 25 years, I don’t know what he is up to. It is not a question that has any meaning to me. It is like asking about George Foreman or something.

George Takei gave his own unpleasant opinion of Captain Kirk back in July 2014 on Real Time with Bill Maher:

He is Canadian. And Canadians have a certain image of being even-tempered and friendly and all that. Well, he is a person who is that way … with himself. He is very self-centered.”

Hmm, hard to believe William Shatner is self-centered.

President Obama has been known to delay a wedding from time to time for his own amusement (literally true since it was so he could play golf), but only Stephanie and Brian Tobe have been lucky enough to have Obama hold up their nuptials not just to play golf but also to selfishly bask in the glow of how thrilled they were to meet him.

"Brian and Stephanie were SO EXCITED that he was there," wrote photographer Erin Youngren on her blog, explaining that the interaction at the Torrey Pines Golf Course in southern California came as quite a surprise. Continued Youngren,

We laughed and joked all morning... feeling honored just to be at the same location, not expecting anything more than that. When the ceremony time came...[we]learned that the President was finishing up his game soon at the 18th hole, which happens to fall right in front of the ceremony site – as in, right behind the altar. Whaaaaa??? We might get to see him!

As exciting as watching a 54-year-old man putt must've been, the whole party had to wait on him to finish. But everything went into high gear after that, "President Obama then surprised everybody and came to shake everyone’s hands. My internal fan-girl freak out had suddenly become completely external at this point." Youngren stayed in game mode, however, snagging a picture for the couple (right after a handshake for herself). 

Immediately, I switched lenses and starting asking secret service agents as they shoved down the line, “Can we please get a photo with the couple??? Can we please get a photo with the couple???”

I yelled back into my earpiece, “You need to hurry or he’ll be gone!”

Brian and Stephanie burst from the hotel, Stephanie sprinting in her navy blue Nina heels and Monique Lhullier gown, their friends and family bust into cheers at seeing them, and this is what happened.

Looks like he's still got a decent short game when it comes to pressing the flesh, but the optics of this event are pure long game. Obama receives a fair amount of criticism for the amount of golf he plays,* especially when it delays a wedding, and now his weakness has become a PR weapon. It's always nice to see happy people getting a treat on their wedding day, of course, whether it be the President of the United States, a bride's father honoring her stepfather, or a whole bunch of naked people.

Just because this is a relatively innocuous story, though, doesn't mean some people won't put their political opinions on someone else's Facebook wedding album. 

*After double-checking, Obama's predecessor took considerably more vacation days, but Bush stopped playing golf in 2003, saying it was inappropriate to golf while soldiers were serving abroad. It was also not that long after Bush began a round of golf with a now-infamous interview about a bus bombing in Israel, saying "I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Now watch this drive." So, Obama definitely plays way more golf than Bush, although Bush took (two times) more vacation days.

Trump was grilled by a young woman during a Q&A session at a bipartisan "No Labels" political conference in New Hampshire on Monday, a young woman who turned out to be a Jeb! staffer. She asked him about his views on women, abortion, and equal pay, and got multiple cheers from the crowd — cheers that were way louder than the silence during Trump's textbook "I cherish women" response.

People were pretty stoked about what happened—CNN even published a video about the incident titled "Donald Trump 'trumped' by woman:"

They were too quick to jump the gun, though—the right-leaning news blog "The Conservative Treehouse" uncovered that the young woman was actually a Jeb Bush staffer. Her name is Lauren Rose Batchelder, and she's an 18-year-old freshman at New Hampshire's St. Anselm College. Here's some pictures from her Facebook:

According to her Linkedin, she became a "Campaign Intern" for Jeb Bush in 2015:

She has expressed her support for Jeb on Facebook—

—in addition to tweeting about her political views. Although she deleted her Twitter, some of her tweets were archived upon the discovery of her identity:

Trump was quick to go in on Jeb, accusing him of using her as an audience plant:

Bush's campaign responded to the accusations:

Allie Brandenburger, a spokeswoman for Bush's campaign, said Batchelder is not a paid staff member and attended the convention on her own.

"While this question was not sanctioned by the campaign," Brandenburger said in an e-mail Tuesday morning, "we can't help but notice Mr. Trump does seem to be very sensitive about being challenged by women."

Bush's lead spokesperson also tweeted the following:

Whatever side you're on, we can all agree that Batchelder holds the record for most selfies with Republican presidential candidates:

Tracy Morgan is coming home to SNLthis week, y'all!  Not only has he recovered from his traumatic brain injury, but he is joking about it, playing around with Bobby Moynihan on whether or not he remembers his 7 years at 8H. 

Morgan and Moynihan are pumping us up for a good show on Saturday. Morgan also warns us of his intention to get everyone in 30 Rock (the place, not the show) pregnant, much like he did in his moving speech at the Emmys:

Here are the promos. Use protection:

We know Cara Delevingne as an accomplished model-actor, esteemed squad member, and power possible-fiancé-haver. But the impressive 23-year-old also struggles with depression. She revealed what that's like in an interview with Rupert Everett at the Women in the World Summit on Friday, and admitted that when she was a teenager she "wanted the world to swallow me up, and nothing seemed better to me than death." She also explained how Kate Moss, of all people, encouraged her to take a break from modeling to get in a better place.

You can watch the full 17-minute interview below, but one of the other interesting tidbits to come out of Delevigne was the effect her career had on her health. According to the New York Times, she said that her skin suffered as a direct result of stress due to being overworked:

Perhaps as a direct consequence, she began to develop a condition called psoriasis, which caused welts to sprout up across her body.

“At that time, I really wanted someone to stop me,” she said. “And no one did.”

It always seems like models are special otherworldly beings who don't have to deal with the variety of weird human skin stuff that can happen. But models are people, too, it appears! They get stressed out! They get breakouts! They get David Bowie-signed guitars for their significant others on their birthdays!

Stars, they're just like us... they love dressing up as stars! As you get ready to dress up this Halloween, either as celebrities,puns, or perhaps pregnant, get what the kids call *inspo* from the people who have the most disposable income to spend on costumes.

1. Beyonce as Janet Jackson and Blue Ivy Carter as Michael Jackson.

They are the world, they are the children.

2. Lena Dunham as Louis CK.

3. Iggy Azalea as a Wayans Brother in White Chicks, Demi Lovato as Lucille Ball.

The two most revolutionary forces in comedy.

4. Miley Cyrus as Lil' Kim.

Or she's just being Miley.

5. Miley Cyrus as Dolly Parton.

Island in the stream, that is what she is.

6. Miley Cyrus as Nicki Minaj.

Miley, what's good?

7. Kaley Cuoco as Justin Bieber.

With her ex-husband as Selena Gomez. This costume was a bad omen.

8. Kelly Ripa as Kim Kardashian and Nick Lachey as Chris Humphries.

Remember when that was a thing? 

9. Kelly Ripa as Miley Cyrus and Michael Strahan as Robin Thicke.

10. Ellen DeGeneres as Nicki Minaj.

That was even before this happened. 

11. Ellen DeGeneres as Sofia Vergara.

Wonder if she'll be a white person this year.

12. Ellen DeGeneres as Snooki.

13. P. Diddy as Prince

The doves are crying.

15. Matt Lauer as Pamela Anderson.

16. Lance Bass as Himself.

Yeah that's a pretty douchey move. 

17. Honey Boo Boo as Kris Jenner (and the rest of the Boos as Kardashians).

Jimmy Kimmel and his "lie witness news" team hit the streets to ask people what they thought of Hillary Clinton's debate performance before it even aired. We get to see people lie their way through questions about how and where they watched the debate, and hear their specific fabricated reactions to Hillary's answers, even though the debate hasn't happened yet. These sorts of street stunts are a staple of Kimmel, whether it's having undercover Miley Cyrus ask people about herself, or having kids explain same-sex marriage. Here are real people's thoughts on a debate that hasn't happened yet. Remember, these are actual citizens that could be on a jury or pull a voting lever one day:

These people are so good at lying their way through a series of questions, they should become politicians themselves. They even fielded questions about their friends' reactions to the debate, and perhaps the best one of all, a response to Hillary calling Bernie Sanders an old man:

Well, you know, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. And I think Hillary was trying to get away with a few jabs of her own. And so I think that was fair play.

These people are really, really committed to lying. They're almost as committed as the guy who faked a kidnapping to avoid his girlfriend, or actor Steve Rannazzisi claiming to be at the 9/11 attacks. But who knows, if they're as good as Brian Williams, they might even be able to make a comeback.

The U.K. Channel 4 released a documentary called Sex Diaries: Trans Lovers last night, which focuses on cis men (cis = identifying as the same gender to which you were born) who are interested in dating trans women. The documentary is being used to start conversations about how attraction to transgender people is treated in popular culture on the one hand, and how it can be as loving as any heterosexual relationship between two cis people in reality on the other. But it also highlights how there are so many different experiences from individual to individual! You get to see the dudes who are very openly accepting of their attraction, like Mark the window washer:

Then there are other guys, like Morris, who basically don't want to deal with cis women being emotional while on the rag, and who seem to view trans women as desperate sex machines:

If there's one thing this documentary makes very evident, it's that shitty dating experiences abound for everyone. The interviewees also stress that, whatever their reason for being primarily interested in dating trans women, they would all identify as heterosexual. Which makes sense, if you are a man who only wants to have sex with men, then why would you sleep with people who identify as female? After all, sleeping with men is an option. Not all the trans women featured in this doc have a penis, and not all the men think that's an important part of the experience (though many do).

It's a pretty interesting look into people's private lives, and if there's anything we here on the Internet love, it's peering into people's private lives. Voyeurism is truly universal.

Men tried high heels for a day and everything terrible they heard about them from their female friends turned out to be true. In the video produced by Buzzfeed, they get blisters, they can't walk correctly, and they even get catcalled. If all men went through what these men went through, we'd be that much closer to understanding between the genders, and to the America we all deserve. 

At this point, Instagram is basically a compendium of different make-up trends and their defenders. Lots of these make-up artists say they get "shamed" for painting an entirely different face on top of the one they have. Others get shamed for sharing "no makeup" selfies. Who wins? We'll tell you who: The Kardashians. While their empire is largely built on family money and lucrative investments in reality TV, apps, and social media, they also make a LOT of money from hawking various products — especially MAKE-UP:

And, uh, other questionable body manipulations, like corsets:

Basically, they get cash by making women feel like beauty, fame and power is just one product away. These new time-lapse videos show that what actually makes you look like a Kardashian is $$$$$:

These videos were posted to Instagram by someone going by the handle Sainthoax, seemingly implying that the Kardashian's are getting lip-fillers, Botox and surgery. Kylie has admitted to the lip fillers, which you can see here:

But most of the change seems to come from their expert application of contoured make-up, and there's no actual proof otherwise. On the one hand, their brand is very openly about beauty and excess, and they flaunt their make-up use. On the other hand, what they're selling can't really be bought by 99% of American women. It takes a team of people to make Kim Kardashian look as gorgeous as she does, even if that doesn't include plastic surgery.

Verdict: yeah, these videos are kind of mean, but they're also a reality check about how fake "beauty" can get. Don't give yourself a hard time for not meeting impossible standards. Or shame anyone else for trying to.

Jenny McCarthy is many things. She's best known as a former nude model, an actress, an author, a wife and mother, and a leading anti-vaxxer who is indirectly responsible for a lot of kids getting sick. She's a quintuple threat. But when she heard that Playboy, the magazine that made her famous, would stop publishing pictures of nude women, she decided to dust off her birthday suit for one last hurrah. That's right—she wants to get naked again. But will she be allowed to?

On Wednesday's episode of her SiriusXM talk show Dirty, Sexy, Funny with Jenny McCarthy (she's also a radio host), McCarthy announced she is campaigning to be featured full-frontal in the magazine's last explicit issue, slated to come out in March 2016. “I would be totally willing to take it all off one more time. Just to say I’ll be in the last one,” McCarthy said.

McCarthy lamented the magazine's decision to axe naked pics, explaining that it was a last refuge for "classy" nudity:

“They really captured that innocence of the women… almost like art. There was nothing that I felt was too embarrassing or gross. And nothing that I’m not proud of today.”

Of course she's proud. She was Playmate of the Year in 1994. And considering that she usually makes headlines for negative reasons these days, it's understandable that she'd want to relive the glory days by posing naked one more time. But would Playboy print it? At 42, she's older than the nubile young models the magazine has traditionally exploited. Could Hugh Hefner get over his revulsion for women half his age and let her in? Just for old times' sake? Probably not.

Regardless of what happens, it seems unlikely that McCarthy's loyalty to the Playboy brand will falter. As she said on her show:

In solidarity, I will be wearing my panties at half-mast.

That doesn't sound sanitary. She should be careful—everyone knows she's very susceptible to infection.

Jay Armstead and his friend Matt Jones went to a Subway franchise in Lincoln City, Oregon on a recent Tuesday afternoon to enjoy their lunch. The sandwich artist serving them that day had just finished Jones's teriyaki chicken sandwich and was beginning on Armstead's Italian sub when she grabbed a big leafy handful of spinach from the bin and plopped it down, at which point both men noticed something terribly wrong. There was meat on the sandwich, but not the perfectly shaped slices of textureless meat Subway customers line up to pay for. This meat was still in the shape of an animal. See if you can spot it:

There was a dead mouse in the spinach. The two men and the employee were all dumbfounded, until she offered this in the way of explanation: "It's a dead mouse." Jones started to laugh. As he told KGW News:

“It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s also the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. I laughed because I was like, there is no way this just happened.”

The employee offered a cash refund, which they accepted, and to remake both sandwiches for free (Jones's also had spinach), which they refused. In fact, both of them were pretty much turned off ever eating there again. A representative from Subway told KGW News that the mouse must have come from the spinach supplier and doesn't indicate unclean conditions in the restaurant, but that's hardly a comfort. After all, a lot of other customers ate that spinach, rodent infusion and all. The chain supplied this statement on the incident:

As soon as the customer alerted the owner about what happened, they were immediately given a full refund and an investigation was launched. To be cautious, all of the products in the sandwich unit were disposed of and a thorough cleaning took place, in which the Health Department gave the restaurant a clean bill of health. There were no other complaints made.

The sad part is that Subway really doesn't need this bad press right now. They've had enough of that with all of this Jared business, and now they have to deal with Mousegate? What's next, a plague of locusts? $6 footlongs? Only time will tell.

A guy went bra shopping for his pregnant wife and demonstrated to men that there's an art to buying a bra. The video was produced by BuzzFeed and features one of their staff members, Rodney, who's expecting a baby with his wife. He goes to a department store to look for the perfect bra, and settles on a 40D for her "big old milk jugs." She then tries it on in front of a live studio audience and deems his effort a success. Hooray for boobs!

Space! It might not seem that different from Earth sometimes, because people in space have Vines and toilets and Matt Damons. But it is different from Earth. For one thing, floating water getting dyed looks mesmerizingly cool there. For another thing, space can kill you by turning your lungs inside out and boiling the water in your eyes. But let's try to forget that second thing by thinking about that first thing, the mesmerizing, cool water sphere being played with by space star Scott Kelly, who is on a year-long mission at the ISS:

Hillary Clinton is a known fan of The Good Wife. As in, everyone knows she's a fan of The Good Wife because we read all her State Department emails and she's talked about it. So when Clinton was interviewed on Buzzfeed's Another Round podcast, co-hosts and TGW "huge fans" Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton followed up on this important matter. 

BF: We hear you’re a fan of The Good Wife. We are fans of The Good Wife. Is it hard to watch a show that borrows so heavily from your life?

HC: You know, I don’t see it that way. But maybe I’m just being obtuse.

BF: A lawyer who’s attorney general husband publicly—

HC: —Yes a lawyer whose husband is a successful, yeah, all of that, yeah… Look, I like the acting and I like the outrageous plotting and I keep, you know, standing there hoping that something even more outrageous will happen because then I know it’s not about me ‘cause I’ve got a pretty boring life when it comes right down to it. 

BF: Do you have a favorite character?

HC: Alicia.

Start the interview at 30:25 for the moment in question:

For most people, "Alicia" would be a boring answer to the main character question, but for Hillary Clinton it becomes fascinating. It would also be edifying to know what she thinks of Diane Lockhart's model of a powerful woman, how she felt when Will [REDACTED], and if she ever shipped Finn or Johnny with Alicia. (Maybe we'll find out some of these answers at the next debate.) The interviewers did try (unsuccessfully) to get Hillary's response to being part of the current season's plot, but failed to inquire about the classified government file that explains what actually went down concerning the feud between Julianna Margulies and Archie Panjabi.

It's hard to talk about Thor and his mighty hammer Mjolnir without gettin' all hot and bothered about what a sexy beefcake Chris Hemsworth is, but please try and focus. This article is about science!  Not Chris Hemsworth's bulging biceps, long, flowing blond hair, casual stubble, or clingy pleather body suit, oh yeah, come to mama...

As the legend goes, not just any nerd off the street can scoop up the god of thunder's magical hammer Mjolnir. It's only for those who are truly hot, I mean, worthy. Seeing a loophole and having way too much time on his hands, YouTuber and technology wiz "Sufficiently Advanced" created a replica of Mjolnir that can only be picked up by one person: him. Unlike Thor, the creator of "Real Mjolnir" uses magnets and finger print scanners, not the oiled up six pack of a smokin' hot hunk. Check out the video to see how it's made, and even better how he pranks a bunch of dummies with it.

Mmmmm...Hemsworth.

OK, so authorities aren't actually sure yet why a 40-year-old man at a Walmart in San Leandro, California doused children's costumes with lighter fluid and set them ablaze. But it can't be because he loved Halloween, right? "I loved it so much, I set fire to it" is a phrase that makes no sense unless you're talking about a really great candle or you're performing a Viking funeral. 

According to police, the man had been walking around the store with the lighter fluid for "several hours" before actually setting fire to the costumes. The suspect has been treated for smoke inhalation and detained, and they're looking into whether he might be responsible for other crimes in the area. The Walmart, meanwhile, was evacuated and closed for four hours to deal with excessive smoke from the fire, which also spread to the Halloween candy. I had no idea that candy can be flammable. You learn something new to be afraid of every day!

One interviewee at the Walmart summed the whole thing up pretty accurately with this statement: "It is scary. It is. It's ridiculous too, at the same time."