Today in Tim HonksTom Hanks news: the actor continues to be the most charming, paternal presence on the web, and he's even better opposite a cute kid. 

Kid President is starting a new series on Soul Pancake called "Tough Topics with Grown Ups." This video's tough topic was heroism, and the grownup was Tom Hanks. Hanks taught Kid President what being a hero means to him, and in return, KP taught Hanks the dance craze of his generation. 

Noted anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy paid a visit to Wrigley Field in full Cubs gear. Apparently, it was a big game for Cubs fans, so perhaps the social media team was trying to boost everyone's morale with this tweet of Jenny looking sassy in blue:

They must have also forgotten that people don't see Jenny as a comedian or Playboy playmate anymore. She's just a blonde lady using her platform to spread misguided and misinformed ideas about vaccines to impressionable people. But the people who saw this tweet didn't forget! The responses came rolling in and they are mean. And funny:

Well, everyone's lost someone on the Oregon Trail. 

Daniel Radcliffe was interviewed by Playboy, and they didn't shy away from asking the tough questions about how much he jerked off on the Harry Potter set. Finally, the world has an answer to the inquiry no one actually ever really thought about before but now that you mention it, they'd really like to know.

You spent all your teenage years making the Harry Potter movies. For most teenage boys, their lives revolve around finding a chance to masturbate. Is there time for that on a movie set?
Yeah, I was like every other teenager in that sense. My favorite line about masturbation is Louis C.K.’s, something like “I found out about it when I was 11, and I didn’t skip a day.” I think I started very early—before my teens. But not when I was on set. I wasn’t going, When is Alan Rickman going to nail this scene so I can run back to my trailer? There’s another feeling, again perfectly described by Louis C.K.: that fear just after you’ve jerked off that everyone knows what you did. It would have been embarrassing to walk back on set and look the dignitaries of British acting royalty in the eye, knowing what I’d been doing.

There's a lot of interesting information there, including that Radcliffe is a huge Louis C.K. fan. Celebrities—they're just like other 26-year-old dudes, even the ones who aren't famous.

Today is Back to the Future Day, and to celebrate, USA Today recreated the front page from Back to the Future Part II. In the sequel, October 21, 2015 is the date on which Doc and Marty travel to the future. In one scene, Marty finds a copy of USA Today, and as a tribute to that, the newspaper has printed a second front page for today's issue, perfectly recreating the one from the movie. Most of the film's predictions about the future did not come true, notably flying cars and hover boards. But a few things came close, like mounted flat-screen TVs and digital goggles that answer the phone (similar to Google Glass). Here's the front page of the newspaper Marty finds in the future:

Several of these headlines feel like they capture 2015 very well:

• "Swiss terrorist threat": International terrorism threats are regrettably a constant in the news. 
• "President says she's tired": There could absolutely be a female President of the United States in 2016.
• "Atrocity Channel's immolation special gets super hot ratings": We love garbage reality TV, and we're probably not far from having an "Atrocity Channel" where we watch people die.
• "Kelp prices increase": We love super foods! Kale is the current winner, and the fictional price hike was due to pollution of the ocean, which is sadly quite accurate.
• "Vietnam surfing championships begin tomorrow": Americans absolutely visit Vietnam as tourists, and it's a hot international surfing destination.
• Endless sequels and reboots: Yes, most of our movies are sequels and reboots.

There were also several fun misses:

• "Cubs sweep series in 5": The Cubs are playing the National League Championship series, but they're down three games, and now have a slim chance of making the World Series.
• "3D Billboards: free speech or traffic hazards?": We do not currently have 3D billboards, but it's safe to say that advertisers would use them to catch our attention until vehicular deaths increased.
• "Maddy the hover-boarding dog TV special tonight": There are no hover boards, but this is a close one, because we positively love watching videos of animals doing cute human stuff. Look no further than the Grumpy Cat Christmas special.

So if Back to the Future Part II was able to make some pretty accurate guesses, that means some of our current technology might also be a glimpse into the future. Like water you drink from blobs or jet packs. As Doc would remind us, if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Sexism is a problem in the skate park community, because skating is often seen as something just for dudes. As Avril sang,

A little girl in Cambridge, Ontario was interested in skateboarding for a long time, and when her mom took her to the local skate ramp, she felt intimidated and nervous around all the swearing skater dudes. When one of those dudes generously welcomed her to the park and offered to teach her some boarding tricks, both she and her mom were thrilled. The mom, Jeanean Thomas, wrote an open letter, published in The Hamilton Spectator, and like so many opens letters, it's gone viral:

You're probably about 15 years old, so I don't expect you to be very mature or for you to want a little girl on your skate ramp for that matter.

What you don't know is that my daughter has been wanting to skateboard for months. I actually had to convince her that skateboarding wasn't for just for boys.

So when we walked up to the skate park and saw that it was full of teenaged boys who were smoking and swearing, she immediately wanted to turn around and go home.

I secretly wanted to go too because I didn't want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you.

I also didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn't entitled to that skate park just as much as you were.

So when she said, "Mom it's full of older boys," I calmly said, "So what, they don't own the skate park."

She proceeded to go down the ramp in spite of you and your friends flying past her and grinding rails beside her.

She only had two or three runs in before you approached her and said "Hey, excuse me ..."

I immediately prepared to deliver my "She's allowed to use this park just as much as you guys" speech when I heard you say, "Your feet are wrong. Can I help you?"

You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer, and she listened to you a feat not attained by most adults.

You held her hand and helped her get up when she fell down and I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn't get hurt.

I want you to know that I am proud that you are part of my community, and I want to thank you for being kind to my daughter, even though your friends made fun of you for it.

She left the skate park with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you.

Jeanean Thomas, Cambridge

 Good job, sk8er boi and sk8er gurl!! 

Quentin Dehar hit on his now-girlfriend Anastasia Reskoss by walking up to her at a party and saying, "I've found the Barbie to my Ken." This has proven to be a prophetic statement, as the two have at this point spent around $300,000 on plastic surgery and various treatments to achieve their mutual goal: becoming human dolls of Barbie and Ken, for real. What a fairy tale!

And they're not shy about all the work they've had done, and their ambitions for ear-reshaping, pectoral implants, breast augmentation and veneers all around:

Quentin and Anastasia are currently living in Paris and according to the Daily Mail are in the process of legally changing their names to "Ken" and "Doll."

They have very different reasons for their ambitions. Anastasia grew up in Russia and had over a hundred Barbie dolls as a child. She says:

At secondary school, I just felt like I was never a really pretty girl and I believed I looked very pale too. I turned to the Barbies I always loved as a kid. I just loved how tanned and perfect they were.

Quentin is more of an unrepentant materialist, and even bought a ​Porsche Cayman ​convertible that resembles Ken's toy version:

​At secondary school, I just felt very average. I didn't feel like me. I ​aspired to have the flashy cars and luxury designer clothes that my Ken doll had.

Beauty is very subjective. Even if you're completely weirded out by this couple's dedication to becoming "plastic fantastic," uh, it doesn't matter because they're doing it anyway and having a marvelous time.

Take heart. There truly is someone for everyone.

Are people always telling you that you've got a big mouth? Well, here's a terrifyingly simple way to make them shut theirs (and probably pee their pants). By cleverly applying fake nails as teeth, makeup artist Bonnie Corban makes this frightening Alien v. Predator-inspired alien come to life, so you can scare people to death. In her tutorial, she makes the application look fairly simple, and best of all, she swears you can still talk. So don't worry, you'll be able to ask your friends, "Is there anything in my teeth?"

It's a great costume for trick or treating at your dentist's house.

Oh. My. God. This is either really humiliating or really cool for Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer. The two stars of our current era have recently formed a very public personal and professional relationship. They've gone jet skiing together. They've contributed to the same human pyramid. And they're co-writing a movie in which they'll play sisters. That's all old news. But now they appear to have worn the exact same dress on the red carpet. Such a total faux pas or squad goals!

As you may remember, in 2011 a young(er) Jennifer Lawrence wore this red Calvin Klein gown to the Oscars:

Then, earlier this week, Schumer attended the Elle Women in Hollywood awards in a twin red Calvin Klein dress:

People noticed this possible fashion emergency or amazing style synchronization, and reached out to Calvin Klein to confirm whether it's the exact same dress. While the answer is still unknown, one thing is for certain: this is either good, bad, or somewhere in the middle.

Both costume companies and parents should take note of Claudia Winkleman's shocking story of her eight-year-old daughter Matilda catching fire when she was trick-or-treating last year. Matilda wanted to go trick-or-treating as a witch, so Claudia bought her a standard witch costume from a supermarket. One of the houses they visited had a Jack-O-Lantern with an open flame. Matilda's dress came in contact with it, and before Claudia knew it, her daughter was on fire.

Luckily, a dad that was one the scene sprung into action, pushing Matilda on the ground and patting the fire out with the assistance of Claudia. Even though they took the fire out, Matilda suffered severe burns that required a long recovery period.

Claudia, herself a popular television host, told her story to BBC Watchdog in May, but it's getting attention again as Halloween approaches. She started a petition demanding stricter flame testing on children's Halloween costumes. Her supporters have also called on parents to use battery-powered candles instead of a real ones. 

It's time to add Halloween costumes to the list of everyday household things that are trying to kill you.

Today is Back to the Future Day. For those of you who already know what that is, travel forward in time to the bottom of this paragraph. For those of you who don't, it's the day that Marty and Doc travel forward in time to from 1985 in Back to the Future II. Ever since the film came out, people have been speculating how the actual day will compare with the movie's idea of 2015. Now that it's arrived, people are celebrating with a bunch of awesomely dorky Back to the Future tributes. If you're still confused, travel backward in time to the beginning of this paragraph.

1. A town is changing its name.

Reston, a suburb in Washington, DC, will change its name to "Hill Valley," Marty's hometown in the film. Don't worry, it's only for five days, so Reston has successfully avoided the fate of forever being "that town."

2. This guy rode a hoverboard around London.

Is it an optical illusion? Or has the future arrived?

3. This pub is throwing an 'Enchantment Under the Sea Dance' in London.

Hopefully they'll discover Rock N' Roll there.

4. Lyft, a transportation company, is offering free Delorean rides.

Every single passenger is going to ask their driver to drive at 88 mph.
 

5. Disney made a Doc Brown Facebook bot that will actually interact with you.

Don't expect more than a few catchphrases from him, though.

6. This Chicago Cubs fan is preparing for victory.

This guy's outfit takes on a special significance — in Back to the Future Part II, the Cubs win the 2015 World Series. Today, the Cubs are playing the Mets in a game that will help determine who gets to go to the World Series. Spoooooky.

7. People are trying to get their hands on a Pepsi perfect.

When Pepsi announced that they would be selling the futuristic "Pepsi Perfect" from the movie, people lost their minds, mainly because the bottles are really hard to acquire. If you didn't get one at New York Comic Con, you can try your luck ordering one from Pepsi's website tomorrow for $20.15. And if you miss that, well, you can always buy one on eBay — that is, if you have a spare $300 lying around.

8. These McFlys are marching in a "Million McFly March."

A group of charitable BTTF fans are holding a "Million McFly March," in which a bunch of people will dress up as Marty McFly and march to raise money for Parkinson's Disease. If you're gonna be a nerd, you might as well do it for a good cause.

9. Elijah Wood and Conan tried out some future fashions.

You might not know this, but Elijah Wood had a small part in Back to the Future II when he was 8-years-old:

To celebrate, Elijah and Conan rocked the futuristic hats the kids wore in the film, which look like colanders but in hat form.

10. People are wearing two ties.

It's all the rage.

11. This person recreated a scene from the movie using Legos.

Hello! Welcome to the Internet. Two of the most fun, inevitably viral trends around here are gender-swapped movies, and also anything and everything that has to do with Disney.

On his Tumblr blog Let There Be Doodles, artist and illustrator TT Bret combines the Internet's greatest loves by drawing perfectly rendered visions of Disney classics in which the characters' genders have been flipped. 

In honor of Back to the Future Day, Doc Brown has recorded an inspiring message about the future. It's literally just that—no advertising, just a message about being positive and looking forward with optimism. Heck yeah!

Vice President Joe Biden announced today that you won't be totally sick of him by the end of 2016, because he won't be seeking the office of the presidency. At a press conference in the White House Rose Garden this afternoon, he explained that he wasn't emotionally ready to hit the campaign trail after the death of his son Beau Biden from cancer in May. 

He said:

As my family and I have worked through the grieving process, I've said all along what I've said time and again to others, that it may very well be that that process, by the time we get through it, closes the window on mounting a realistic campaign for president. I've concluded it has closed.

It's a little opaque, but somewhere in there he says, "I'm not running for president." Many people noticed that Biden's speech could have been a campaign speech under different circumstances, with its references to Obama's successes and its note of hope for overcoming partisan gridlock. 

Others thought it went on a bit too long.

Whatever your thoughts on Biden, at least one person is undoubtedly happy he decided not to run. 

Singer Adele's Grammy winning album 21 is famous for being full of songs about break-ups that you can cry to while eating ice cream, as you can see in this great SNL sketch:

It's been years now, and everyone is ready to move on with their lives, hopefully using Adele power octaves as a personal theme song. There have been some hints about when her next album will be released and that it'll be titled 25. Because she's older than 21, now. Get it? Today she shared this open letter about aging and trying to simultaneously stay in the moment. It also seems to be about these long awaited follow-up tracks, though there's still no mention of an actual release date:

It reads:

When I was 7, I wanted to be 8. When I was 8, I wanted to be 12. When I turned 12 I just wanted to be 18. Then after that I stopped wanting to be older. Now I'm ticking 16-24 boxes just to see if I can blag it! I feel like I’ve spent my whole life so far wishing it away. Always wishing I was older, wishing I was somewhere else, wishing I could remember and wishing I could forget too. Wishing I hadn’t ruined so many good things because I was scared or bored. Wishing I didn’t know myself so well, because it means I always know what’s going to happen in the end. Wishing I hadn't cut my hair off, wishing I was 5'7". Wishing I'd waited and wishing I'd hurried up as well.

My last record was a break-up record and if I had to label this one I would call it a make-up record. I'm making up with myself. Making up for lost time. Making up for everything I ever did and never did. But I haven’t got time to hold on to the crumbs of my past like I used to. What’s done is done. Turning 25 was a turning point for me, slap bang in the middle of my twenties. Teetering on the edge of being an old adolescent and a fully-fledged adult, I made the decision to go into becoming who I’m going to be forever without a removal van full of my old junk.

I miss everything about my past, the good and the bad, but only because it won't come back. When i was in it I wanted out! So typical. I'm on about being a teenager, sitting around and chatting shit, not caring about the future because it didn’t matter then like it does now. The ability to be flippant about everything and there be no consequences.

25 is about getting to know who I’ve become without realising. And I’m sorry it took so long, but you know, life happened. Love, Adele

Very moving, but talk is cheap. Where's the music, Adele? There was this very short snippet of a new song that played during an ad break on British X FactorSunday night:

Dot, dot dot, indeed.

This boy was practicing his dribbling skills in sunglasses, indicating that his hoops game may be as weak as his dating game. He didn't want to squander an opportunity while looking this dope, and wasted no time in greeting two girls who passed by on bikes. But the girls weren't having it. His knee-jerk reaction turned out to simply be a jerk reaction, with impeccable aim and timing:

Hey ladies.

F##k you. 

Generally speaking, if you ask someone how they're doing and they respond with an f-bomb, it's best to disengage. Write it off as a loss, and carry on with your day. But that quick rejection resulted in an even quicker, dumber response, which hopefully didn't result in any serious injury to the girl on the bike. As for injury to the boy who chucked the ball, we may never know:

I'm gonna beat your ass. Are you f##king kidding me?! Really?

The video cuts out after that, but it's safe to assume that the sunglasses may have been knocked off his face. Now he can focus on saving up all his money to pay for repairs to that girl's bike and any medical expenses incurred as a result of the spill. Never mistake young boys hurting girls as a sign of affection. In fact, many people could stand to take more lessons from young women on how to treat women. They give fantastic advice on texting and know that many times food is better than dating.

An abandoned kitten was found with a heartbreaking note in Kirkland, Washington. A local woman came across the kitten in a box as she was walking her dog, and saw an inscription inside of it that read:

My Mommys boyfriend is mean to me. Desperet (sic) for loving home.

The woman took the kitten to the vet and then brought the animal to MEOW, a local animal shelter. They placed it in a foster home with other kittens, and it's now doing fine. According to the organization:

"We have more questions than answers,” MEOW said. “But are forever thankful for the bravery of the child who knew the kitten deserved better and the kindness of the woman who saved the kitten."

Here's their Facebook post about it: 

You wouldn't feel the same way if it was a lizard. Just saying.

Vice President Joe Biden will remain eternally cool, maintaining his integrity and chill vibes by not running for president in 2016. People on Twitter picked up on the fact that it is Back to the Future Day, and even though Biden may not be running, Hillary Clinton still is. 

In case you missed it, here's the announcement:

Twitter erupted with love and laughter for good ol' Uncle Joe:

News outlets acknowledged sartorial choices.

Celebs cited history.

People quoted his speech.

You will never forget.

Some wanted things to return to normal.

And go back to celebrating Back to the Future Day:

This guy made the ultimate Dad Joke.

Like everything, Biden's decision was about Benghazi.

Someone was in the room with Hillary at the time:

And for 10 hours straight:

This GIF works, too:

Perhaps he knows that this is Hillary's gain:
 

Trudeau awaits.

The final tally:

The real person suffering:

The memes didn't take long.

But for real, he truly suffered a lot of tragedy, and it's vital that he has time to mourn.

He has other plans, though. And they involve your mom.

And he'll always have his titles.