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Lady Gaga shared her secret to happiness, and it's surprisingly relatable coming from her.

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For a few years, Lady Gaga dominated pop music with a unique combo of empowering music and crazy, trippy costumes. With a stage name and the big theatrics, it was hard to tell who the real Lady Gaga was, which was something she was struggling to figure out herself. After a hiatus from music, the artist formerly known as Stefani Germanotta is back, making music and starring in American Horror Story. Recently, she spoke at Yale University about emotional health. The Lady had some really good advice for all of us on the edge of glory: 

You'll want to blow her a kiss back.

"I have had to make decisions like, why am I unhappy? Okay, Stefani/Gaga hybrid person, why are you unhappy? Why is that you want to quit music, a couple years ago? I was like, well I really don't like selling these fragrances, perfumes. I don't like wasting my time spending days just shaking people's hands and smiling and taking selfies. It feels shallow to my existence. I have a lot more to offer than my image. I don't like being used to make people money. I feel sad when I'm overworked and I just become a moneymaking machine and my passion and creativity take a backseat. That makes me unhappy.

So what did I do? I started to say no. I'm not doing that. I don't want to do that. I'm not taking that picture. I'm not going to that event. I'm not standing by that because that's not what I stand for. And slowly but surely, I remembered who I am, and then you go home, and you look in the mirror, and you're like, 'Yes, I can go to bed with you every night.' Because that person, I know that person. That person has balls, that person has integrity, that person has an opinion. That person doesn't say yes. That person doesn't get a text from somebody and say, 'Oh my God, they wrote this, and they sent this emoji, should I write this back? What do you think? Is that okay to say? Are they going to like me if I say that? Should I say something different? This is the age that we live in. We're not actually communicating with each other. We are unconsciously communicating lies."

We are all like Stefani/Gaga hybrid people. Here is the video:

 

Stefani on almost quitting music and getting back to herself.

Posted by Lady Gaga Georgia on Tuesday, October 27, 2015

A Utah-based company is offering a really nice maternity bonus you didn't know you should be demanding.

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Utah-based data company Domo is raising the bar for maternity policies by offering a $2,000 wardrobe bonus to pregnant employees. The move is getting high praise for acknowledging that being a mom gets tough even before baby arrives.

In an interview with People, Domo CEO Josh James explained the policy by saying, "I've always believed that if you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you play good. We want our expectant employees to be able to treat themselves, and buy clothes that make them feel great." 

A company that wants you to actually enjoy shopping for maternity jeans.

The gesture is going a long way for employees like Erica Bartsch who raved about Domo's policy on Facebook. Bartsch's emoji-filled love spree goes to show how a little investment in employees can go a long way. She described her new wardrobe to Fortune as "life changing."

21 top and 7 pairs of pants arrived at my house this morning. Pretty much all of the maternity clothes I'll ever need EVER, lol. Since I'll probably only wear each a few times, my next pregnant friend is going to get a ton of stuff!! #domoarigatoDOMO

Domo's maternity clothing bonus comes in the form of gift cards and is designed to alleviate some of the financial and emotional stress that comes with preparing for a new baby. The benefit of the gift card model is that moms won't be tempted to spend the money on other things they need like diapers, car seats, diapers, high chairs, diapers, bibs or more diapers. Diapers.

While nice clothes for mom may seem like a relatively small matter at a time when all the focus is on preparing for baby, Domo is banking on the idea that extra support for pregnant employees is good business.

The ladies of 'The View' dressed up as Disney villains, and it suited them all too well.

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The co-hosts of The View really did it up with their Halloween costumes. They're all Disney villains, and they look better than ever!

https://twitter.com/TheView/status/660169051021451264

Great costumes, ladies, but not nearly so terrifying as the cast of the TODAY Show Peanutizing themselves.

https://twitter.com/TODAYshow/status/660071826933088256

You can watch their grand entrance and Whoopi Goldberg struggling to read the monitor without her glasses here.

Happy Halloween, from people with an enormous production budget.

The top 43 tweets of the week as picked by someone who spends way too much time on Twitter.

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Donni Saphire has favorited over 610,000 tweets on Twitter and knows them all by name. He judges everyone's attempts at winning online laughter and love so you don't have to.

In a tumultuous week, The Twitterverse was rocked by news that bacon might cause cancer, that a billion-dollar blimp existed, that said billion-dollar blimp had crashed, and that Paul Ryan had finally agreed to lead his grumpy colleagues in Congress. Basketball is back, baseball's almost over, the season's getting colder AND spookier; better have your costume by now! Behold, the top 43 tweets of the week:

1.

https://twitter.com/tinynietzsche/status/660104439567552516

2.

https://twitter.com/EricStangel/status/660122470364676100"

3.

https://twitter.com/tomsegura/status/658045247088267264

4.

https://twitter.com/mollylambert/status/659950825536659456

5.

https://twitter.com/zachreinert03/status/658154661845708800

6.

https://twitter.com/sbellelauren/status/657933123364089856

7.

https://twitter.com/MartyDeRosa/status/658716420469997568

8.

http://twitter.com/andylassner/status/659724500192374784

9.

https://twitter.com/markleggett/status/659662375272890368

10.

https://twitter.com/robdelaney/status/659642162469056512

11.

https://twitter.com/thispartyislame/status/659781047668838400

12.

https://twitter.com/ElSangito/status/659769052651388929

13.

https://twitter.com/TheThomason/status/659654562496688129

14.

https://twitter.com/BosNaud/status/659431897391583232

15.

https://twitter.com/drewjanda/status/659937895466168320

16.

https://twitter.com/AnemoneOh/status/660112669534322688

17.

https://twitter.com/thepatrickwalsh/status/657783309657702400

18.

https://twitter.com/melissabroder/status/658884296048963584

19.

https://twitter.com/bdomenech/status/659439901251936256

20.

https://twitter.com/CerromeRussell/status/659095414419890176

21.

https://twitter.com/animaldrumss/status/659937618692546560

22.

https://twitter.com/TommyMcNam/status/660106710896541696

23.

https://twitter.com/CJSullivan_/status/659455946469613568

24.

https://twitter.com/charliearchy/status/659242844243271680

25.

https://twitter.com/curlycomedy/status/658670977635753986

26.

https://twitter.com/youngtimlin/status/658513414579294208

27.

https://twitter.com/snapplegate87/status/658474180233601025

28.

https://twitter.com/juliadavidovich/status/658309382124339200

29.

https://twitter.com/varnado/status/658995483323572224

30.

https://twitter.com/BuckyIsotope/status/659755733655773184

31.

https://twitter.com/thenickcolletti/status/659850609747709952

32.

https://twitter.com/Chelsea_Fagan/status/659210129615794176

33.

https://twitter.com/postcrunk/status/659879083422167040

34.

https://twitter.com/bromanconsul/status/659866072158334976

35.

https://twitter.com/liz_buckley/status/660020542729297920

36.

https://twitter.com/GhostPanther/status/659822203433652224

37.

https://twitter.com/TheDiLLon1/status/658622398967738368

38.

https://twitter.com/d_haggar/status/659983092124266496

39.

http://twitter.com/merrittkopas/status/658863859566948352"

40.

https://twitter.com/Cpin42/status/659765274950901760

41.

https://twitter.com/robfee/status/659948869589970944

42.

https://twitter.com/plantandmineral/status/660121917123387392

43.

https://twitter.com/DailyAdviser/status/658418698315812864

Will Forte got his beard tested for fecal matter because he read that article about beards too.

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Will Forte, just like the rest of us, read that viral study that supposedly concluded beards are "as dirty as toilets." If you've seen the former SNL star lately, you know that he currently has an A+ extreme beard for his TV show, The Last Man On Earth. Wanting to be known for his comedy achievements rather than the nickname "Shit Beard," Forte had his beard tested for various types of germs. Then last night on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon read him the results. It was not good news.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1sQBg_4p6M

As Forte points out, there's probably disgusting bacteria on all surfaces that you'd discover if you tested for it. If that horrifying thought makes you feel better.

When dressing for Halloween, consider how hard it is to get out of your costume for sex.

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When you're figuring out your last minute details for Halloween debauchery, assume someone might want to see what's under the mask in all its naked glory. Which means you have to make sure the mask comes off. Quickly. There's always a long bathroom line, so please be respectful of other people's defecating/hook-up needs.

Halloween Party Sex

Halloween hookups are great…if you can get your costume off!

Posted by The Huffington Post on Friday, October 30, 2015

It's not too late to go as a simple sheet ghost. Or commando. 

25-foot-tall inflatable Jack O'Lantern breaks loose, terrorizes drivers all over the highway.

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It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown... and he's coming to destroy us all! This 25-foot-tall, 350-pound inflatable Jack O' Lantern broke free from an obviously awesome Halloween display and headed right into a busy intersection, terrifying drivers in Arizona. In the video, you can see the giant inflatable bounce happily across multiple lanes of traffic, because this pumpkin DGAF! It eventually landed in a neighborhood park without injuring anyone or losing its jolly grin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHaAxmpm2WM

Man swept away by a flood in his car climbs a tree to safety, then calls the news from the tree.

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Texas resident Terry Packer is probably the calmest man in the world. He was driving in the heavy rain near the Onion Creek area in Austin, Texas on Friday morning when his car got swept away in the flood. The car floated for about half a mile as it filled with water. Finally, Packer was able to escape through the window and climb a nearby tree. He recorded the entire float on his phone, though, and sent it to his wife, who sent it on to KVUE, a local news station. His reaction to all of this? Totally chill.

TV news is basically just 60% iPhone videos of disasters these days, so the anchors at KVUE obviously wanted to talk to Parker about the ordeal. They got Parker on air, and he explained how his car was taken by the flood waters. But partway through, he casually revealed to the news anchors that he was calling them from the tree, where he was still stuck. Instead of doing what any normal human would do and yelling, "Holy shit holy shit holy shit please save me!" Parker calmly explained that he was "about 20 feet up a tree" and that he was "fine." Really, his only complaint was that it was "a little cold"—and he then went on to explain that it's cool, though, because he has 20 years of Boy Scouts experience.

Here's the news video, which combines the floating car footage with the interview:

https://www.facebook.com/KVUEinsider/posts/10153851091181178

As of 2:43 pm Austin time, rescue workers were finally able to rescue Packer from the tree; he had been waiting up there for about four hours. And that, everyone, is why you always keep your phone battery charged.


Benedict Cumberbatch advocates for refugees in a speech worthy of Shakespeare.

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Performing the titular role in Shakespeare's longest play, "Hamlet," wasn't exhausting enough to stop Benedict Cumberbatch from giving one more speech after a recent performance. Cumberbatch delivered an eloquent monologue worthy of the Bard himself, asking audience members at London's Barbican Centre to make donations to Save the Children, a charity aiding refugees.

Describing the reasons behind the current refugee crisis and the need for humanitarian aid, Cumberbatch illustrated the dangers facing those who have fled:

No one leaves home unless home unless home is the mouth of a shark. You only run for the border when you see your whole city running as well. You have to understand that no one puts children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land.

Forsooth, that's a good speech.

Thanks in no small part to Cumberbatch's smooth words, the company of "Hamlet" has so far raised $150,000 for Save the Children's refugee aid efforts. If you want to see how he's convincing people to pony up more money after paying for theatre tickets on London's West End, watch the full speech:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-fcZOZ4Uik

Did Benedict and the "Hamlet" cast leave you hungry for a happy ending? You can make a donation to Save the Children here.

The 'Today' show hosts tried to dress as Charlie Brown characters and looked like nightmares.

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The 'Today' show hosts dressed up as Charlie Brown characters and inadvertently terrified the Internet. They did it to celebrate Halloween and promote the new Peanuts movie. Instead of just wearing the different characters' shirts or something, they had make-up artists give them giant alien heads. It looked about as weird as a Peanuts movie that's in 3D.

https://twitter.com/TODAYshow/status/660080320839081984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/TODAYshow/status/660080847194820608

You can watch the segment here. If the costumes don't give you nightmares, the awkward acting coupled with a completely silent audience will.

Rashida Jones defends her family and their amazing genes on Twitter.

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It's amazing what kind of bullshit people will tag actual celebrities in on Twitter. Rashida Jones is currently appearing in a bunch of Verizon ads, one of which features her visiting her mom for the weekend. Hijinks and advertising ensue. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=611BbUpmVmI

One Twitter user, however, thought the woman playing Rashida Jones's mom looked way too young for the role. So she tweeted that sentiment at Rashida.

https://twitter.com/jlferron/status/658441004308033536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Rashida easily shut down this line of criticism by pointing out that the actress, Peggy Lipton, is her actual mom.

https://twitter.com/iamrashidajones/status/658489103885860864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

If only all Twitter disagreements could be settled so easily.

Real daughter.
Real mother.
Real mother and real daughter.

Also, Rashida Jones's mom does look really good. She's 69! Just saying.

African-American man sues restaurant that asked him to prepay for his meal.

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An African American man who says he was asked to pay for his meal before dining at a Washington state restaurant has filed a $100,000 discrimination suit against the chain. Brian Eason is a real estate agent who also serves as a deputy with the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office in nearby Orgeon. He went to the Vancouver location of Elmer’s and was asked to prepay for his meal. Eason thought it was odd and asked his waitress about the policy:

I was kind of curious about it and said 'Well, is that new?' And she said 'Yes, we had a few walk-aways and my boss asked me to ask for prepayment.'

To her credit, the waitress was not a fan of the policy, and explicitly told him it was likely discrimination:

I think it's discrimination and my boss is here, and she's forcing me to have me do this.

Eason was bothered by the incident, but didn't realize how serious it was until he returned to the restaurant 30 minutes later. He then asked white customers if they had been requested to prepay, and they had not. Jill Ramos, Elmer's director of restaurant support, released a statement on behalf of the chain:

At Elmer's, we are proud to provide a welcoming guest experience to everyone in the communities we serve. We are disappointed to hear about the complaint which occurred at one of our franchise-operated restaurants. 

Hulk Hogan endorsing Elmer's in an undated Throwback Thursday photo.

The use of the phrase "franchise-operated" is no accident. That's public relations language for "we had no way of knowing one of our franchisees might have racist operations policies." Unless they can prove they also made some white customers prepay, it seems like they're going to be $100,000 in the red on this one. One of these days, restaurants must learn that dumb policies and being mean to customers always gets them in trouble.

The way a teacher corrected a kid's answer on a quiz has enraged math nerds everywhere.

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The image below was posted to Reddit about a week ago and currently has over 10,000 comments. In it a kid was asked to used the "addition strategy" to solve a multiplication problem. The question was 5x3. The student showed their work as 5+5+5, which equals fifteen. That checks out, but the teacher still took away points, writing "3+3+3+3+3." Which also equals 15. Does that seem pedantic to you?

Maths!!!

Comments seem to be mainly focusing on how pedantic the teacher's response is, and how it essentially discourages kids from any interest in math they might have. Math is boring and hard enough without being petty. 

User Doctor_Insano_MD writes:

What pisses me off is that this is teaching the kid "Why even bother learning anything in school? Even if I do it right, it's still wrong."

They're being prepped for the real world, maybe?

Single woman spoofs cheesy engagement photos by taking her own with a pizza.

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"I just want you. Nothing else, just you." This type of mushy Facebook status is usually enough to make you lose your appetite, but when Nicole Larson posted those words, it had the exact opposite effect. People couldn't wait to like and share her album "Couples Pictures 2015," because Nicole's bae is a freakin' Pizza Hut pizza.

Geez, if you love pizza so much, why don't you have a professional photo shoot with it? 

 The 19-year-old from Alberta, Canada hired professional photographer Miriam Ott to take the romantic engagement-style pictures of her and her one and only. "I wanted to do a spoof of other couples pictures because I am single and in my opinion pizza never lets you down," Larson told The Huffington Post.

"My love for pizza is eternal." –Nicole (and everyone) 

In addition to being funny, Nicole says her photos have a cheesy, but satisfying message: 

Everyone seems to be caught up in trying to find a partner but I would just encourage others to find/do anything that might brighten their day! If that is a boyfriend, great! If it's eating a full box of pizza to yourself, that is also great!

Save some for the wedding night!

How about if you eat a full box of pizza by yourself and then fall asleep spooning with the box and when you wake up you can't separate the tears from the grease stains? Asking for a friend.

They found love in a hopeless place.

The album was a huge hit on Facebook with over 16,000 likes and over 40,000 shares.

Pizza is bae.

Of course, Pizza Hut let Larson know she will definitely be receiving some free pizza. Yes! Approval of the parents is key.

What do you say we take this to the next level, and incorporate some breadsticks?

 The single college student is obviously quite a catch. Mr. Hut is one lucky dude.

Manspreading on the subway gets man arrested for murder.

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43-year-old Gregory White paid a steep price for stretching out his villainous balls on the New York City Subway's A train—he's going to jail. And lest you think New York has suddenly become a fascist police state, you're only half right. He's paying for crimes way worse than airing out his crotch in public.

https://twitter.com/ElaineRom/status/601012110584340480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Early in the morning on October 28, transit officers at Manhattan's Columbus Circle spotted White manspreading and were preparing to write him a ticket for disorderly conduct. In case you're behind on your train etiquette, manspreading is the practice of men (or women) stretching out their legs on public transportation, taking up more than one seat. Although it's always been an annoyance for any city overrun with commuters, in the past few years it has become a hot button issue on the Internet because of its implications for gender politics. Which makes White's case all the more symbolic.

https://twitter.com/NBCNewYork/status/660059205127262208

When the cops ran White's name through their computer to write his ticket, they found that he was wanted for the murder of his girlfriend, 58-year-old Victoria Hammond. Hammond was found dead on January 24 in her Coney Island apartment, the victim of 24 stab wounds. White had been wanted for questioning since the incident, but had evaded police successfully for nine months. That is, until he unwisely decided to spread his junk.

When White was brought to the station for questioning, where he admitted to the murder, but claimed he was acting in self-defense (once again, 24 stab wounds). After such a long wait, Hammond's family is relieved that someone will finally face trial for Victoria's murder. And they owe it all to Manspreading—The Misdemeanor That's Best at Identifying Who's Secretly a Felon®.


The Internet was asked "What's the most terrible thing you've done?" The answers will scar you.

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Somebody asked Reddit "What's the most terrible thing you've done?" and the users' answers will make you feel like a better person. Sure, zombies and goblins and vampires are scary, but after reading these, you'll realize that actual human behavior is way more scary than anything that can be made up in book or movie. Of the 3,765 comments, here's the cream of the crop.

 

1. Hairskinteeth

Pissed in someone's coffee machine - on several occasions. He really was an incredible jerk. He never found out. 

Mmmm, fresh!

2. Googalslosh

Dated a girl with cerebral palsy, then dumped her because I'd rather play World of Warcraft. 

3. flinch85

When I was about 14 we liked to go and get drunk at the local play park (as any upstanding UK citizen should). The trouble is we had no money.

So, my genius friend suggested we make fake salvation army badges and go carol singing (it was near Christmas). So some cardboard and cling film later and there we are, three spotty, voice cracking boys singing carols we didn't even know badly to defraud kind people and a charity out of their money to buy vodka and cider.

I even remember one guy saying "sorry lads I only give to registered charities" so we all kind of pointed at our badges and he gave us a quid.

4. Friggingmung

Accidentally melted a hole in a girls leg with a firecracker

5. GuyOutsideYourWindow

shit myself when I was 6, hid underwear in one of those chair cube things that open up, commando'd upstairs and changed, and FORGOT ABOUT THE UNDERWEAR, MY PARENTS FOUND THEM WHEN I WAS ALMOST 12

Unearthing a underwear time capsule.

6. -aes

I was born with no defects in a first world country and am making no progress for humanity.

7. IReallyLikeHairyMen

In middle school, I didn't want to be in class anymore so I pretended to have some sort of brain episode (e.g unable to keep my eyes open, slurred speech ect). An ambulance was called. Took me to a hospital. I had gone too far to let it up. My mom was crying in the hospital room over night and through the sobs whispered in my ear that if I was faking she wouldn't be mad, just to let her know, which made me double down. I was there for a day and a half. And it cost my parents $8,000.

8. based777

I went to a house party in highschool 3-4 years ago and stole 1 piece of a thousand piece puzzle.

9. Nichtmagisch

I snapped and broke a guy's nose in school because he made fun of the fact that my mother had died 3 days prior. I was 11 at the time. Haven't hit anyone since.

Innn thhaa faaceee.

10. sparkos9999

I was a scientist. I didn't follow procedure and sprayed a coworker in the face with defrosted human serum. I was so embarassed i laughed. Her eye was swollen and i was so guilty. She's ok now.

11. Missymay2001

threw rocks at a shed, broke the windows out and then proceeded to burn it down when I was 9 and my brother was 10. We thought it was abandoned because it looked really shabby. Turns out it wasn't. Pretty sure my parents knew it was us but we never got caught.

We were horrible children.

Who hasn't broken a window or two?

12. DobleK86

While walking home drunk from the bars one night with friends, we saw a futon couch sitting on the porch of a house. We decided to pull it into the middle of the road, and hide behind the bushes to see if anyone would hit it. Since it was the middle of the night, it didn't take very long for someone to plow into it.

I consider myself to be a mostly decent person, and I wish I could say that I was just young and stupid when I did this. But, I was a senior in college. I get a little queasy thinking about how horrible of a thing that was. I was very drunk, so I can't really remember what was going through my head, but it's a little scary to think that I'm capable of something so maliciously dangerous.

13. bbq-chips

Shit myself in a Pawn Shop when I was 21, went to the washroom and hid the underpants in a dresser that had already been sold. Came back two days later and the dresser was gone.

14. HissyHausfrau

I wrote "CUNT" on my neighbour's very lush green lawn with weed killer. Then I sprayed all her prize rose bushes with poison and turned a (hidden) hose on full that went under her house so the stumps would rot.

In my defence, she really was a terrible human being.

Instead of showing the C-word, here's a picture of a kid drawing on his dad.

15. The_English_John

This little bastard 6 year old was being a complete ass to me about skipping school for a week to go to my brothers funeral in thailand. Not even sure how he found out, but i was so damn angry i kicked the poor guy so hard he flew a good meter. Got suspended.

This artist's human-size pneumatic wings are the closest thing you can get to being a bird.

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If you've been looking for a costume that can make you look amazing while also knocking the drink out of someone's hand, then you need Arizona artist Alexis Noriega's pneumatic wings. Noriega has been selling handmade wings through her Etsy shop, The Crooked Feather, since 2013. But recently, she's started experimenting with wings that don't just look amazing, but can move on their own. They won't make you able to fly (only Red Bull, dreams, and good drugs can do that), but they will make you look like a badass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVrM5gqICRw

Sweet thoughts.

Halloween

Walk of shame.

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