A smartass husband took his wife's words literally, and took a selfie with her at the exact moment their new baby left the womb and entered the world. The wife of Reddit user gilsolano12 told her husband that she wanted a picture of their facial expressions when their baby was born. He decided that mid-push was the perfect time to snap that pic.
We come into the world the way we go out: With an epic selfie.
He then sent it to her brothers, who kept asking how the birth was going. They ended up having a healthy seven pound, six ounce baby girl.
One of YouTube's most prominent explainer series, In a Nutshell, has turned its cartoony eye to a topic that hits close to home: people stealing videos, putting them on Facebook, and collecting all the sweet hits. If you watch or share a video that's been uploaded directly to Facebook, there's a 75% chance that you're cheating the actual creator out of views—and since views are how things like advertising revenue are calculated, you're cheating the very people whose videos you like to watch out of the money they need to make those videos.
Just to be clear, about 25% of videos on Facebook are not stolen, and linking to YouTube or Vimeo or wherever is not stealing. The issue arises from people stealing a video from YouTube and uploading it to Facebook—which is made far worse by the fact that Facebook prefers stolen videos hosted on Facebook over honest links to original content on YouTube.
A gang of inspired doofuses, one of whom is named Simon, have been hilariously photobombing the live cams at the Austrian ski resort of Obergurgl/Hochgurgl (bless you!) high up in the Alps. Photobombing may be as old as photography, but only now has it found its Mozart, its Da Vinci, its Einstein. The gang's work is at times idiotic, but it is always sublime. From a shark chasing a boat down the mountain to a cop chase straight out of the silent film era to choreographed fights to Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball, there's a good reason this ski resort doesn't stop Simon even though, as they point out, "we know who you are."
Donni Saphire has favorited (er, "liked") over 610,000 tweets on Twitter and he hearts them all equally. He slogs through every tweet so you don't have to.
It's that time of the week where Republicans debate! After a largely forgettable undercard where Bobby Jindal and Chris Christie traded trash talk, it was time for Rand Paul to rant about fiscal policy, Carly Fiorina to denounce Obamacare, and Donald Trump to reiterate his love of walls. Here are the top tweets from tonight's debate:
Your favorite toilet activity other than Facebook, Candy Crush Saga, was just bought for a whopping $6 billion. As Stephen Colbert pointed out on last night's Late Show, that's more than Disney paid for Star Wars, or the exact amount Colbert would pay to see the new Star Wars movie immediately. Candy Crush's new dad, Activision, wants to make movies out of their games, so Colbert took time out to imagine what a Candy Crush film saga would be like, with help from Liam Neeson's very particular set of skills. It's a wonder to behold. As the star of Schindler's List says impaled by a Candy Cane, "There's no place in this sweet world for your salty tears."
Taking a cue from random aunts and creepy uncles everywhere, Someecards asked our readers to answer the simple, yet dreaded question: "Why are you single?" Here are our favorite responses from the awesomely unattached on why they're proud to be #singleforever.
People like to make fun of the Kardashians for being self-obsessed and famous for essentially nothing but their looks and luxurious lifestyle. Even though looking that good is pretty much a full time job, apparently, and they have a genius for self-promotion, the idea that they do absolutely nothing for their fame persists. Well, Oprah is sick of it. In an interview on radio program Kyle and Jackie O, Oprah got asked about Rebel Wilson's recent dismissive comments on the Queens of Instagram:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR96mZEfA30
She says:
I interviewed the Kardashians two years ago and I can’t believe how hard they work. People don’t understand that, people think ‘Oh, if a television camera’s just following you then that’s just easy.’ To really create a reality series that looks like something’s actually happening, it means you have to be on all the time.
I went there to film them as a family and I couldn’t believe how hard they worked. We were there for 7 hours and they were gonna tape another 7 hours after I left. No matter who you are, that is work.
Oprah has a television show, a magazine, and a book club that encompasses every mom in America. She knows what hard work looks like, and sometimes what looks like incompetent dancing on Snapchat is actually hard labor. Would you tell Oprah she's wrong?
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have a celebrity baby, but unlike some celebrity babies who you know and love, their daughter has never appeared in any social media or press photos. The actors decided that they want to give their one-year-old daughter, Wyatt Isabelle, privacy (or—conspiracy theory—maybe she's just so shockingly cute that Instagram wouldn't be able to handle it?).
But this week, Kutcher shared an Instagram photo featuring, suspiciously, a baby girl. Is it Wyatt? The consensus from professional celebrity speculators is "maybe." But who else would it be? A stranger baby?
https://www.instagram.com/p/9zennVnJ8p/
The photo also features red sand as a nod to the Red Sand Project, an art movement that spreads awareness of human trafficking. The caption says, "39 million people have fallen through the cracks into modern day slavery. #redsandproject." So it's a (probable) celebrity baby photo with a cause.
People are at their most vulnerable when they are in the hospital. As ICU nurse, mother, and blogger Brie Gowen writes, "I can promise you that you do not want to be a patient in my unit. If you are then that means you're really sick. But I can also promise you that if you end up here you will get stellar care by a team of the best health care providers available." Health care providers have different ways of coping with the stress and high stakes. For Gowen, it involves singing Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Gowen published an open letter on her blog to tell her patients' families that her cheerfulness should not be interpreted as nonchalant, but the opposite. Gowen sings to balance out the inherent sadness that's a part of her every day, so she can keep her cool and perform her duties:
There for you.
Dear Disenchanted Family Member of My ICU Patient,
So you walked in to me singing a song out loud as I hung that IV medicine, huh? You were a little bewildered, and thought, "Is that from the Sound of Music? Why is she so inappropriately jolly considering my dad has a tube down his throat?!"
First off, it is the Sound of Music. After all, these are a few of my favorite things.
But seriously, I'm not singing for my own satisfaction. What you don't realize is I'm singing to calm my nerves, to keep myself relaxed. Your dad almost died before I let you back. I'm concerned for him, but I don't want you to see that on my face. I don't want you to worry about him. That's my job. I just want you to love him.
I know you just heard us laughing and cracking a joke in the hall. I get it. You don't see anything funny with your mom being confined to that bed, attached to all those monitors.
I understand. I do. I hope you can understand that while you were waiting outside unaware we saved the young woman next door. She couldn't breathe. Now she can. We didn't think we'd get the breathing tube down in time...
We also restarted the heart of the man across the hall. We shocked him so many times, and I actually broke his ribs. Just when we were afraid it wouldn't restart, it did.
The patient next door to him wasn't so lucky. We tried. I begged God, but she went anyway. I held her daughter and let her cry in my hair for twenty minutes.
Some times we have to laugh. It's the only thing we know to do. We're afraid if we cry, we won't be able to stop.
I'm really sorry if I seemed short with you when you came in to visit. I know you thought I was being rude, and I know that once outside again you complained about me, saying "she must have wanted a break instead of taking time to talk to me!"
Not an easy job, to say the least.
No. I won't get a break today. I wasn't trying to be rude. I was focused on the change I just noticed on your dad's EKG. I was wondering what I could try next when his blood pressure plummets again. You see, I'm giving the maximum amount of all those drugs you see hanging. I know you're not ready to say goodbye. I'm not ready to give up. That distracts me sometimes and makes me a less than perfect conversationalist.
I want you to know that when I see your mom in this condition I feel your pain. I think of my own mom who has passed away. When their conditions mirror each other, so similar in presentation, it's like peeling the scab off my grief. I don't let you see that, but I choke back my own tears while you cry.
Oh dear mom, as you try to maintain your composure while your child remains unresponsive, I have to fight to keep from sobbing all over your shirt while I hug you. Your plight is a very real confrontation of the frailty of our children. I don't like it as a mother. I will sweat blood to fight for your baby's life, no matter the age. I know it could be mine just as easy.
My dear sir, as you cry over your ailing spouse, I'm sorry that I have to walk away. I'm sorry I can't be stronger for you. For a moment I place myself in your shoes. I imagine my spouse laying there, and I grieve with you. Then I get back on the horse and I fight for your bride. I just wanted you to know that.
My singing, dancing, laughing behavior might make you think I'm indifferent. Or my distraction and firmly set expression might make you think I don't care.
But I do.
What you don't see is when I pull into my driveway at the end of the night after my long shift has ended. Often times I put my car into park and I cry. All the stress of fighting for them, all the grief pushed away, all the emotions finally have time and catch up to me. I don't sing or laugh. I weep.
Then I wipe my eyes and go inside. I hug my babies a little tighter. I hold my spouse a little closer. Then I go to bed early so I can come back in the morning and fight another day.
Boy oh boy, did those genius pranksters at the RNC really nail those lefty reporters this time! If there's one thing you can say for certain the GOP believes, it's that the media is a pack of ravenous wolves who won't leave them alone or give them enough airtime. Also, that the media loves Hillary Clinton, who has always appeared favorably in the headlines, as all women in leadership positions do. Well, with the panache and wit of a group of Young Republicans, these Old Republicans put the media establishment in their place with one high-tech swoop: the WiFi password reporters were required to use at last night's debate.
Tweeter @thotweiler received a text from an unknown number on their phone, and assumed that it was a sext, like anyone would these days. However, @thotweiler was tragically mistaken. The next message was a stern rebuke from Grandma, complete with an awesome new catchphrase.
Canadian singer Alanis Morissette's hit "Ironic" topped the charts twenty years ago, if you weren't already feeling old this morning. The song has long been criticized for not actually citing examples of situations that are truly ironic. They're just bummers. For example: "rain on your wedding day" is more inconvenient than ironic. Who cares, it's a great song to sing along to in the car! James Corden somehow convinced Alanis Morisette to make a mockery of it anyway on Monday night, and change the lyrics so they reflect the modern day problems we'd like to mistakenly call "ironic:"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GVJpOmaDyU
So many websites and apps got name-dropped in that. Netflix, Amazon, Snapchat, Uber. Remember simpler times, when dying in a plane crash on your very first flight was all you had to do to be totally full of irony?
Veteran Bill Moore was contacted by a woman who found a letter he wrote to his sweetheart during WWII tucked into the sleeve of an old record in a thrift store. The letter was addressed to the woman who would become his wife, Bernadean, and hearing Bill read it and reflect on her will make you sob face down on your keyboard. They spent a long time together, but she passed away in 2010.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7irnEs3lSM
A section of the letter reads:
My darling, lovable, alluring Bernadean. I ran out of space, but I could have written a lot more adjectives describing you. You are so lovely, darling, that I often wonder how it is possible that you are mine.... I’m really the luckiest guy in the world, you know, and you are the reason. Even your name sounds lovely to me.
Bill laughs at himself, saying, "It gets worse," by which he probably means even sweeter, like that's possible. He also talks about how at the time, he was in Europe and no one fighting was a hundred percent sure they'd be getting back. He knew he wanted to marry Bernadean and any kind of communication was precious.
The couple had 3 children and their daughter, Melinda Gale, told ABC 7 that though Bernadean saved all Bill's letters they were somehow lost. This is the only original copy of any of them they have:
I read it for my daughter last night. It really hit me that we were seeing the true depth of my parents love that, as children, we knew was there, but you don’t hear it. Their love sets such a beautiful example of what life can be.
Gwen Stefani reportedly ended her marriage with Gavin Rossdale after learning he was having an affair with the nanny. The affair, with their longtime nanny Mindy Mann, is said to have lasted three years. Apparently Gavin went with the Ben Affleck method, which is certain to get you busted and result in more tabloid headlines. The reason he got caught was because the family iPad was synced with his iPhone, which had incriminating texts and pictures with the nanny. It seems like Gavin just hurriedly agreed to whatever prompts Apple gave him when setting up a new device, just like everyone else does.
One of the other nannies discovered the messages, and then informed Gwen. It's the right thing to do, and also a certifiable way to cement your status as the trustworthy nanny that won't sleep with the husband. The guilty nanny was of course fired, and she's going to have to find another line of work in Los Angeles. She'd have a tough time hiding her past or getting a letter of recommendation from her previous employer.
When everything was Zen.
Gwen has already moved forward with her life, and recently confirmed her relationship with Blake Shelton. With a new man and a successful career on The Voice, it sounds like she's coming out on top from this mess.
