Jon Stewart performed at the Stand Up for Heroes benefit for wounded veterans in New York on Tuesday, and he couldn't help but take a few classic swipes at the presidential candidates. After announcing his retirement from The Daily Show, it was hard for fans to imagine an election without him. He has popped into public view a few times since his last show, even making some fun appearances during wrestling matches. His performance at the November 10 benefit was classic Stewart, and not one leading presidential candidate was spared from his skilled wrath.
Jon kicked things off by commenting on his retirement appearance and beard:
This is so exciting for you. I can't believe it: Jon Stewart's grandfather is here! Look at me. Look what happened. I left TV two months ago. What the f##k happened? I'm old as s##t now. How long did it take Tom Hanks in Cast Away?
Stewart wasted no time in directing his attention to the election and Donald Trump. Trump is the guy he loves to hate, and whose popularity he finds baffling:
Are we really doing this Donald Trump thing? We're really doing that as a country? He's f##ked. I like to put my name in giant letters on everything I own as much as the next guy, but the only other people that do that are like 8-year-olds going to camp.
He did not forget the second front-runner in the GOP race, Ben Carson:
He says the softest spoken crazy s##t I've ever heard. You watch him in the debates: 'All I said was ObamaCare is like slavery' ... When I was young I nearly killed a nun with a ... hammer.
Just as on The Daily Show, he ensured the Democrats received their fair share of mockery:
Hillary Clinton's going to be president. Even if she loses, she will f##kng be president. She will not be denied.
And while Joe Biden opted not to run, Stewart of course had some fun at his expense:
Biden? Have you watched him during the State of the Union? It’s like watching a guy work a sales convention. The president is talking and the vice president is behind him like this: 'Hey, boom,' 'Hey, sugar tits.' 'Oh, hey, what’s happening?' 'What’s going down?' 'Nice to see you.' 'What’s up, governor?' 'Boom.'
Jon's political humor and wit are dearly missed. Hopefully he will grace a few more benefits with his standup before the election in 2016.