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Kristen Schaal comes back to 'The Daily Show' to make leggings safe for horny men.

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Kristen Schaal, The Daily Show's Senior Women's Issues Correspondent (and star of Bob's Burgers, Flight of The Conchords, Gravity Falls, and The Last Man On Earth), returns to her old desk to humor its new occupant, Trevor Noah, and lay down some truth about leggings, a.k.a. sin tubes. Since it's #InternationalMensDay today, let's focus on the most man-portant part of this women's issues segment: the fact that leggings are simply too tempting for puny Y-chromosome-powered brains to deal with. 

Oh man. That Fox News dads-look-at-girls-in-leggings segment never gets old...mostly because it never becomes OK in the first place.


Anna Paquin wore a dress that fit. Everyone called her fat. She responded appropriately.

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Actress Anna Paquin has been in the limelight since she was pre-pubescent, so it's surprising we don't hear more from her about body image and unrealistic beauty standards in Hollywood. Maybe because she's been hot, hot, hot this whole time? Nah, even the most beautiful women in the world get ragged on by Internet trolls. Since her hit show True Blood ended, Paquin has gotten rid of her tan and her signature Sookie blondeness. She appeared in a flowing flower print dress with a dark bob on the red carpet for her new movie's premiere, and apparently the comments came rolling in. Paquin responded on Twitter:

Ah, to be a fly on the wall of Anna Paquin's mentions. It’s not clear exactly which troll got to her or where they were trolling, but according to Paquin she found comments about the outfit she wore to ​The Good Dinosaur’s premiere, an animated family film:

After presumably enduring such comments on a daily basis, having it happen for a Pixar movie premiere was apparently the last straw. She kept going:

Everybody needs to reel in a few compliments now and then, Anna, no problem. Nice dress!

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A waitress got a racist note instead of a tip. Now strangers are coming from all over to tip her.

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The news right now is full of stories about racists so racist they don't want to let refugees into the United States. It's so overwhelming, you could almost forget how badly racists treat the immigrants who are already here. 

A shitty person who had the privilege of eating some delicious Thai food at a restaurant in Los Angeles wrote, "Tip for U.S. citizens only" on his $22.84 meal, instead of leaving a tip. 

The wrong type of tip.

The server is a Thai woman in her thirties. NBC made a point to report that she is working in the U.S. legally. Asian-American model Gina Darling posted about the incident on her Facebook.

When the receipt was tweeted out, non-racist customers started showing up at the restaurant to show their support.

NBC Los Angeles reports,

One left a 50-percent tip in an effort to, in his words, "make up for the poor attitude of that other gentleman." Another left a $10 bill and a note reading, "Sorry you had to deal with that sad man," and a third receipt included a large tip with the note "Sorry he was a racist."

The guy has yet to apologize, or return for Pad Thai.

Jennifer Lawrence prepared for her sex scene with Chris Pratt the same way you would.

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The beautiful, charming Jennifer Lawrence and the beautiful, charming Chris Pratt are starring opposite one another in an upcoming sci-fi film called Passengers. And while most people will go to the film for a creative version of the future that will provide insight into contemporary times, many will be psyched to learn that these two ridiculously good-looking people will be kissing and simulating sex with one another.

Ready for work. 

“I got really, really drunk,” Lawrence said in a new interview. “But then that led to more anxiety when I got home because I was like, ‘What have I done? I don’t know.'” 

J.Law was particularly anxious about kissing Pratt, because she knows his wife Anna Faris: “[It] was going to be my first time kissing a married man, and guilt is the worst feeling in your stomach,” she explains. “And I knew it was my job, but I couldn’t tell my stomach that.” She performed her professional duties, but called her mom after for support.

Work obligations.

“So I called my mom, and I was like, ‘Will you just tell me it’s OK?’ It was just very vulnerable.” She adds, “And you don’t know what’s too much. You want to do it real, you want everything to be real, but then… That was the most vulnerable I’ve ever been.”

Kissing married men is an occupational hazard at the job... but somebody's gotta do it. 

Zara under fire after an employee was filmed turning away a Muslim woman because she was wearing a hijab.

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A security guard at one of Zara's Paris locations was caught on camera refusing to a let a Muslim woman wearing a hijab into the store, causing the company to face accusations of Islamophobia from the Internet. The footage was uploaded to the Internet the day after the Paris attacks, but it's unclear when if that's also the day the incident took place. Here it is (heads up: it's very blurry and not in English):

 

The security guard claims that it's policy for the store not to let in people with any type of head covering, whether it be a cap, a beanie, or a hood, but that justification seems a bit fishy.

A Zara store in Australia. 

The clip has over 460,000 views on YouTube and led to a good amount of backlash on the Internet:

It doesn't seem that Zara has released one official statement about the incident, but they've been responding to people posting on their Facebook page and tweeting at them with different iterations of the following apology:

We appreciate your sincere interest in our Plaisir store issue with regards to this customer. To avoid any misinformation, we would like to clarify that once the Country Head of Zara France was informed, he immediately contacted the customer and her family, who kindly provided us with their contact details. During this conversation, our representative apologised and disallowed this unfortunate action that seriously contradicts Zara's policy and also informed them that the staff members involved had been removed from their posts. The family has appreciated the call and the company's reaction. Respecting diversity is the key cornerstone of the Inditex Group, which has more than 140,000 employees, constituting a rich variety of cultures and beliefs. 

Since they fired the employees and reached out to the family, it seems like this might die down in a few days. Now people from all backgrounds can feel safe getting fashion at an affordable price.

Khloé Kardashian dropped a few f-bombs on Twitter when asked about Lamar Odom.

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Khloé Kardashian unleashed a rant on Twitter after some of her followers (trolls) questioned why she was at a Houston Rockets basketball game—that's the team of NBA star James Harden, the man she's been dating. As you might recall, Khloé recently had to clarify her relationship with Lamar Odom after they postponed their divorce following his brush with death at a Nevada brothel. Apparently some people really need to know whether Harden is Khloe's main boo or side boo, and tried to make it their business on Twitter.

Khloé began by talking about how much she enjoyed watching the Houston Rockets game:

Then some genius decided to quote marriage vows, questioning why Khloé is still dating Harden:

F-bombs out of the gate! The real question is why anyone would bother watching the Rockets play the Trailblazers, since no one expects much out of those two teams in the Western Conference. She then decided to clarify her relationship status and why she chose to support Odom during his recovery:

She received tons of support from fans that encouraged her not to listen to the haters. Khloé then painted a very graphic image of how much trolls enjoy mean comments:

In the end, it seems like more of her followers supported her rather than trolled her. She still made sure to blame the rant on pills, because why not:

Khloé has every right take out trolls from time to time and shouldn't have to apologize for it. She did not specify why she's taking antibiotics or painkillers, but it could just be a precaution when one is surrounded by the sickness and excruciating pain of reality television.

'The Soup' with Joel McHale has been canceled after you're-old-now seasons. #SpaghettiCat

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The Soup, formerly Talk Soup, introduced TV audiences to many things: Joel McHale, the idea that all the bad content generated on TV should be endlessly rehashed and mocked in a show devoted purely to that, and Spaghetti Cat. It will soon be gone. It existed in some form for 22 years, but for the past 12, its modern incarnation has been defined by McHale—wait, 12 years? Oh man. 2003. Today's 30-year-olds graduated high school in 2003. Whoa.

Yesterday, E!announced the show would end on Dec. 18, a mere however many years since it already seemed like it had been on forever, and only slightly fewer years since Joel McHale's growing success made viewers wonder how he had time to commute to all his different shows.

Although it aired new episodes at 10pm on Fridays (since becoming a live show in 2014), The Soup was best known for its recurring bits and its recurring reruns all day on E!. It was your unemployed roommate's favorite show, and for good reason—it was reliably funny, had a charming host, and could rely on the bounty of celebrity culture, cable TV, and later Internet video, to provide a never-ending supply of bizarre clips to mock. Fortunately, there are plenty of highlight reels of Joel McHale going through highlight reels over the years.

Maybe its cancelation makes sense in an age where plenty of YouTube channels put on the same show for free and even TMZ seems old-fashioned in its celebrity journalism. Like the end of Jon Stewart's tenure on the Daily Show, this is a transition that makes people aware of just how much time has passed—both since the show started and since they last got every cultural reference on it.

If you've ever been a daytime TV person, comfort yourself with the fact that Joel McHale, at least, has plenty of jobs now and won't be sitting around in the middle of the day. Take a moment, however, to feel for the rest of the staff there, who will now have plenty of time to watch their own reruns.


Jared Fogle gets 15 years in prison, partially blames his pedophilia on Subway sandwiches.

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Jared Fogle was sentenced to 15 years and 8 months in prison today, and during the court proceedings, his attorney argued that his Subway sandwich diet was a mitigating factor in his pedophilia. John Bradford, an "expert witness," was called in by Fogle's attorney, Jeremy Margolis, to argue that Jared treating his food addiction via Subway sandwiches led to a sex addiction developing in its place. Bradford is a psychiatry professor at the University of Ottowa, and sounds like someone you really wouldn't want to get your psychiatry training from.

Do we blame nature? Or nurture? Or half-off footlongs after 5 P.M.?

He also characterized Fogle's actions as "mild pedophilia," which prosecutors quickly pointed out is literally not a thing.

If you're a lazy night owl who stays in bed all day, congrats: you're smarter than everyone.

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Maybe you've been guilt-tripping yourself for sleeping the day away, or maybe just your "friends" and "family" have been. Well, forget everything you knew about being unconscious! Scientists have unlocked the secret of sleeping in. It actually means you're a creative genius. No shame in the game (if the game is hitting snooze over and over on your persistent alarm clock).

The Huffington Post compiled a list of research outlining all the strengths of being a night owl, but two papers in particular focus on the benefits of sleep as they relate to two things: How smart you are and how creative you are.

The first, from the University of Madrid, studied the circadian rhythms of about 1,000 teenagers, categorized them into night or morning people, then tested them a bunch. The results were that teens that stay up late do better than early risers with inductive reasoning, which is used to analyze general intelligence. Yet, they often do worse in school because school happens in the morning, duh. Why would people staying up all night be smarter?:

One theory to explain the extra brain power of night owls is that intelligent children are more likely to grow up to be nocturnal because in ancestral times any activities at night would have been novel and would, therefore, have been more likely to attract people with inquisitive minds.

Curiosity and inquisitiveness also makes for more creative people. In the other study, published by the Department of Psychology at the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart in Milan, they discovered folks who stay up late are more likely to come up with innovations and look at the world differently. Professor Marina Giampietro, who led the study, said:

Being in a situation which diverges from conventional habit, nocturnal types often experience this situation, may encourage the development of a non-conventional spirit and of the ability to find alternative and original solutions.

Yeah, like when the grocery store is closed because it's 4 a.m. so you make a sandwich with bread for filling, then binge-watch Orange is the New Black. What a GENIUS does! 

Related: If listening to people chew drives you bananas, relax: you're probably a genius.

Mo'Nique gives her husband "a free pass to cheat."

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Mo'Nique defended giving her husband a free pass to cheat in an interview with True Exclusives on Tuesday, and her reasoning makes sense once you know the context. She argues that you should be completely honest with your spouse, and part of that honesty includes divulging the attraction you feel for others. She also thinks you should be cool with letting your spouse act on those desires, because if they want something that you're "not willing to do," you shouldn't "deprive [them]" of it. Here's the full interview, where she explains her reasoning in more detail (starts around 16:05):

This is not as big of a deal as the media is making it out to be. Mo'Nique has publicly said she's in an open marriage, and she's pretty much describing the rationale behind an open marriage. 

So that's that. 

17 amazing toilets you should dump in before you die.

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In honor of World Toilet Day, a totally legit and non-made-up holiday (actually it highlights sanitation issues in poor nations and you're a bad person for laughing at it), we found the 17 coolest crappers around. Every single one of these is better than the one you're probably currently sitting on to read this post.

1. This recliner toilet.

You don't want to dig for change in here.

2. The Rhinestone Throne.

This party potty is where Michael Jackson wrote "Beat It."

3. Because you have crappy taste in music and decor, the guitar toilet.

We call this one "JOHN" Mayer.

4. This let's-hope-it's-an-optical-illusion fish toilet!

Still more humane than Sea World.

5. Because how else will you get kids to poop themselves, the Freddy Krueger toilet.

1-2 Freddy's watching you poo.

6. Is that a tuba or a French horn? In any case, pee in it.

Finally a bathroom that's supposed to sound like a brass band concert.

7. Let go, Luke, in this Star Wars toilet.

Don't FORCE it.

8. The "See-Through Loo" where you go to the bathroom behind a one-way mirror. Bonus: this video touches on the actual health reasons behind World Toilet Day.

9. Unfortunately, like most things voluntarily described as "pimp," this one is not actually functional.

This might be why 50 Cent is broke.

10. It's all downhill once you've tried the ski toilet.

More people want to watch this than the Winter Olympics.

11. Take the kid to the hardware store, you thought. Maybe they'll get interested in crafty stuff, you thought.

Do you want to build a brown snowman?

12. Be horrified by every stain your clothes have ever seen in this blacklight Batman bathroom.

 Too bad it takes so long to get out of the Batsuit, he never gets to use it.

13. He sees when you've been naughty, he sees when you've been nice. Also, he watches you on the potty.

"You're on my fiber-deficient list!"

14. This was-the-pun-really-worth-it Winnie The Pooh outhouse.

KIDS- OMFG Do not get lured in here!

15. This wait-all-of-a-sudden-the-Winnie-the-Pooh-pun-sounds-clever throne throne.

Talk about a royal flush!

16. Priest to bless tank after every flush not included.

What Would Jesus Do Do?

17. The Grandma's Lonely Sister Deluxe.

This is the bathroom you have after you're stood up at the altar, and you wear your wedding dress every day until you're an old lady and die. 

This new Facebook tool actually tries to make your breakups less terrible.

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Going through a breakup while looking at your ex on Facebook is like trying to quit smoking while working in one of those little cigarette huts: you can't get over something if you keep staring at it every moment of the damn day. Thankfully, Facebook now recognizes the horrible role it has played in so many breakups, and the site's "Compassion Team" is launching new tools to help keep that former flame out of your f***ing feed.

Because Elise wants to see less of you.

According to Facebook's product manager, Kelly Winters, the new tools will pop up when you change your relationship status. Then, Facebook will prompt you with a bunch of questions that don't just limit what you see from your ex, but what your ex sees from you.

Taylor doesn't deserve to see you being your best self without him. Or her. That's how over Taylor you are: you don't even remember.

Winters notes that the tool can also be used for non-romantic relationships, and the changes don't have to be forever if you guys actually want to be friends (lol). While it's currently in development, the feature will first be rolled out for U.S. Facebookers on mobile, probably because those are the people who take breakups the hardest.

Or, you could just be a real adult and un-friend your ex.

Parents find out they're becoming grandparents in a guessing game. One takes much longer.

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Parents finding out they're going to be grandparents is a very popular genre of online video, and if you're a fan of The Tonight Show or old game shows, you may be familiar with "the whisper game." Now one couple has brought them together for one of the most adorable family reaction videos in years. In the whisper game, one player or team says a phrase out loud while the opposing team wears headphones blasting loud music, trying to guess or lip read what is being said. When these new grandparents sit down, however, one of them takes much longer to get it, and the result is adorable.

It's OK, grandpa. You're just practicing repeating questions you can't hear from your new grandkid. Here's an example of The Whisper Game on The Tonight Show, in case it's still not clear what they were playing.

Thinking Of You


An actual refugee explains how difficult the US refugee process already is.

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Dozens of U.S. governors said recently that they would close their states to Syrian refugees. The move was spurred by worries that terrorists posing as refugees could easily come into the U.S. So the governors were all like, "Hey, guys, living in fear of a few people is better than helping out thousands who are in need, right? Right! Way cool!"

Except that entering the U.S. as a refugee is already not easy. Actual refugee Buljušmić-Kustura Arnesa came to the U.S. from Bosnia as a child, and today she's the Founder and Executive Director of the Bosnian American Society of Iowa. On Wednesday, she took to Twitter to explain the process of coming to the U.S. from a refugee's perspective. The short version? It's not a simple process.

If you're exhausted after reading that, just imagine living it.

Former senator and presidential candidate Jim Webb had a pretty great pocket tweet.

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Sen. Jim Webb has been many things: Secretary of the Navy, Virginia Senator, and a presidential candidate impersonated by Alec Baldwin on SNL, but now he also joins the club of great public pocket-tweeters. Deleted from his official account but screenshotted by Gawker, this misfire tells the accidentally wonderful story of a man. A man who won the Navy Cross and Silver Star for an extraordinary act of heroism that he would come to be mocked for after his awkward telling of it in a Democratic debate. A man who shortly thereafter dropped out of the race to be President. A man who had time on his hands, and was really, really excited about Christmas shopping.

Where was this man during the campaign? This was the man the race needed.

One Direction finally introduces Zayn's replacement: a potato.

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British boy band One Direction has finally found a replacement for Zayn — and he's from Idaho. 

To test the power of One Direction's social media empire, Jimmy Kimmel created an interesting experiment. Proving that it's not what is posted by rather, who posted it, One Direction made a potato very famous. 

The beautiful boy band posted the potato to their Instagram, where it got 517,000 likes in just a few hours.

 

Welcoming the newest member of our family. The One D Potato - @The1DPotato. Backstage @jimmykimmel

A photo posted by One Direction (@onedirection) on

The 1D potato also got a Twitter, and already has way more followers than you do, even though you're a sentient being and it's not. The tater posted some exclusive, glamorous portraits backstage at the show:

Watch the whole saga unfold here:

An engaged couple revealed their sexual fantasies to each other, including food-related ones.

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RJ and Will are engaged and have been together for over six years, but as they say, you never really know anybody. Unless you take a weird test about what your sex fantasies are and then surprise each other with the results, which is what they do in this video. After being separated so they can completely concentrate on whether they'd be open to big orgies (or at the very least small orgies), they're reunited to discuss what new thing will open them up sexually or blow the relationship up completely.

Hmm, turns out there aren't many surprises, though the questionnaire does present them with some new ideas. Pies? Having milk poured all over you? Plenty of new territory to explore for all!

George Takei wrote a powerful message on Facebook to the mayor who praised Japanese internment.

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George Takei, the true king of Facebook, uses his influence and reach for good. When not hilariously "trololololol"-ing, he writes important open letters you couldn't possibly "dislike." This past Wednesday, November 18th, Takei responded to an extremely dumb mayor who had the audacity, and lack of historical insight, to say that internment of Japanese citizens during World War II was a good thing, and a possible strategy for incoming refugees.


Takei himself spent four years with his family living in a prison camp during World War II, and used his insight to shed light on this issue and take down this ridiculous claim.

 

Earlier today, the mayor of Roanoke, Virginia, Mr. David A. Bowers, in the attached letter, joined several state...

Posted by George Takei on Wednesday, November 18, 2015

He writes,

Earlier today, the mayor of Roanoke, Virginia, Mr. David A. Bowers, in the attached letter, joined several state governors in ordering that Syrian refugees not receive any government assistance, or be relocated to their jurisdiction. Apart from the lack of legal authority to do so (under the Refugee Act of 1980, only the President has authority to accept or deny refugees), his resort to fear-based tactics, and his galling lack of compassion for people fleeing these same terrorists, Mayor Bowers made the following startling statement:

“I’m reminded that Franklin D. Roosevelt felt compelled to sequester Japanese foreign nationals after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and it appears that the threat of harm to America from Isis now is just as real and serious as that from our enemies then.”

Mayor Bowers, there are a few key points of history you seem to have missed:

1) The internment (not a "sequester") was not of Japanese "foreign nationals," but of Japanese Americans, two-thirds of whom were U.S. citizens. I was one of them, and my family and I spent 4 years in prison camps because we happened to look like the people who bombed Pearl Harbor. It is my life’s mission to never let such a thing happen again in America.

2) There never was any proven incident of espionage or sabotage from the suspected “enemies” then, just as there has been no act of terrorism from any of the 1,854 Syrian refugees the U.S. already has accepted. We were judged based on who we looked like, and that is about as un-American as it gets.

3) If you are attempting to compare the actual threat of harm from the 120,000 of us who were interned then to the Syrian situation now, the simple answer is this: There was no threat. We loved America. We were decent, honest, hard-working folks. Tens of thousands of lives were ruined, over nothing.

Mayor Bowers, one of the reasons I am telling our story on Broadway eight times a week in Allegiance is because of people like you. You who hold a position of authority and power, but you demonstrably have failed to learn the most basic of American civics or history lessons. So Mayor Bowers, I am officially inviting you to come see our show, as my personal guest. Perhaps you, too, will come away with more compassion and understanding.

-- George Takei

Learn more about our show here: www.allegiancemusical.com

A+, Takei. It seems like many people need you to school them not only in history, but in humanity (and also in promoting Broadway musicals). 

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