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The man with the Internet's funniest name was lying to everyone.

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Well, it turns out the name that was too funny to be true was indeed too funny to be true.

A dude who claimed to be named Phuc Dat Bich wrote a hilarious viral rant about how Facebook kept disabling his account because they thought his name was a joke. As it turns out, it was a joke.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1604099093156689&set=a.1429722997260967.1073741829.100006698409833&type=3

After countless inquiries over the past couple of days about the legitimacy of his name, including an investigative piece by Australian journalist Trevor Long, The Artist Formerly Known as Phuc Dat Bich came clean on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1722822897950974&id=100006698409833

He writes,

Do you remember the story; The boy who cried wolf?

Imagine that boy grew up into a mischievous man with 21st century technology at his finger tips.

I've never believed it's necessary for it to be mandatory to have your entire name to be published on social media. People should be free to use any name they desire. Facebook needs to understand that it is utterly impossible to legitimise a place where there will always be pranksters and tricksters.

What started as a joke between friends, became a prank that made a fool out of the media and brought out the best in the people who reached out to me. It didn't bring out the anger and darkness that we often see on the internet, but it brought a levity and humanity in a time we need it most.

Out of this ordeal I've concluded not to trust the credibility of the media, it's twisted by the hungry journalists who mask the truth.

I just want those who are reading this to take a step back and reflect what the media have claimed about me. 
"What was his parents thinking?" 
Funny right?

It goes to show that an average joe like myself can con the the biggest news sources with ease.

I want to acknowledge the supportive individuals who have encouraged those with truly interesting and idiosyncratic names that populate in different cultures. Hate and discrimination will remain if we continue to be so closed minded.

To those who do have culturally specific and spectacular names, ignore the ignorance in those who may try to put you down. Continue being the best person you can be and make your mark on the world in whatever way you can - even if it is a simple prank.

Yours sincerely, 
Joe Carr aka PDB

Joe Carr. Get it? Like "Joker"?

Slow clap.

Now, the real name of The Artist Formerly Known as Joe Carr was apparently revealed to Mashable by a personal friend:

The jig is up, Thien. Don't try to pull this phucing stuff again.

.


Article 35

The most messaged woman on OKCupid has advice for you. Being hot helps.

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A year ago, Lauren Urasek found out she was the most messaged woman on OKCupid when New York magazine contacted her with the numbers. Apparently, magazines can get that info whenever they want. Now she's writing a book about it, and in an interview with Cosmopolitan shared some tips on how to get your right swipes up. Basically, look like her?

https://www.instagram.com/p/9t3EXbwPi0/?taken-by=loandthecosmos

Actually, some of her advice is useful no matter who you are. While it's very helpful to be hot, Lauren also makes a good case for being honest about what you look like. For example, a full body shot that's flattering, but true to life. She says:

This shot was taken at a networking event. A girl asked me to take a snap of her, and then offered to return the favor. I like to pose with my stomach in, chest up, butt out, and arm not directly pressed against me. 

The lighting in the room was great — it was at eye level and not overhead, which creates weird shadows. I was wearing a new dress, so I was feeling good. I vignetted the border to take the focus away from the other people sitting around me, but I didn't crop them out entirely because it helps to show that I have a life and I'm out in the world doing things.

https://www.instagram.com/p/9aBZPQwPgN/?taken-by=loandthecosmos

Being out in the world and doing things is a very good tip, because you might actually meet someone in real life that way. It also makes for more interesting images, like this one of Lauren spelunking:

https://www.instagram.com/p/8L-fjiwPnE/?taken-by=loandthecosmos

And at a hockey game:

https://www.instagram.com/p/9pLBbawPkG/?taken-by=loandthecosmos

Lauren says she gets the most messages about her pics where there's some nugget of information for a sweaty-palmed dude to grab onto. If you want to get fifty messages about hockey, wear a jersey in a photo. And be super hot, so guys will want to message you about anything, anything at all!

https://www.instagram.com/p/9TPhKiQPvK/?taken-by=loandthecosmos

Lauren is also a make-up artist, so she knows how to make the most of what's she's got (a lot!), but her advice is again to keep yourself looking like yourself, and wear what you would wear everyday in pictures. Also that MAC is a good place to take selfies:

https://www.instagram.com/p/8ow7KqwPkc/?taken-by=loandthecosmos

There are you hot tips. If you want to be the most messaged woman on OKCupid, be Lauren Urasek.

10 calming and adorable videos to show your family when they start to fight on Thanksgiving.

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The problem with Thanksgiving is that it's too long. Seeing your family is great for an hour, but after the small talk runs out, things can quickly devolve into politics and passive-aggressive claptrap. When the shit hits the fan with your family this Thanksgiving, diffuse the tension by showing your relatives these videos, scientifically proven* to get results.

1. This kitten trying to ride a dog.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEqu17KZpDA

Everyone can identify with this underdog undercat, even your aunt who came from a rich family and whose idea of "hard work" is going to a Trader Joe's on a Sunday.

2. This pug dancing to "Hotline Bling."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=14&v=HeJeTHjGRns

Plus, after you spend 25 minutes trying to explain to your parents what "a Drake" is, everyone will feel hip and in the know.

3.  This baby that's STOKED to see a cat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkdXAtO40Fo

This baby is even more excited than you are to pour your next glass of wine.

4. This person running an American Ninja Warrior course in a T-Rex suit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6Pe1zQ1ySE

Enjoy the subsequent conversation where every uncle and male cousin claims "Oh, I could do that."

5. This dog with an underbite learning to use her prosthetic legs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=11&v=vbyRPeDIzk0

Any family member who doesn't like this video is literally dead. Oh, shit. Is grandma dead? Check her pulse.

6. This angry baby that will end us all. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27AdWOcbmZc

Since this baby is obviously going to take over the world, your family has the opportunity to unite over a common enemy (well, an enemy other than Aunt Liz, who chose to go to Thanksgiving with her husband's family instead of yours).

7. This demonstration of mesmerizingly precise cookie decorating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgARtSLkvwo

This cookie-decorating video is like a safe room for your brain.

8. This confused little girl meeting her little brother for the first time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EhtpjWwWPc

Let this video bring you back to a simpler time with your family, a time before your pop pop wanted everyone to vote for Trump.

9. This bird taking a bath in a guy's hands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVnT6W8i_K8

Let this bird washing up also wash away your perfect sister's last comment about how she's so happy that she's able to continue her yoga teacher training while pregnant.

10. These tortoises eating tiny pancakes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVtGpOY9-vc

If your family can't come together over this, you might need a different type of video entirely...

BONUS VIDEO FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY: Popping a 6-year-old pimple.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSOQLpqMN7w

Watching this video will either bond your family in disgust or make them want to stay the hell away from you. Either way, it's a win.

* On the Internet, "scientifically proven" means "these videos have gotten a lot of clicks."

11 turkeys even weirder than your Thanksgiving guests.

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Thanksgiving has plenty of fun things—getting drunk and watching football, getting drunk and deep-frying a turkey, getting drunk and putting out the fire that happens when you deep-fry a turkey—but it's the same old thing every year. Why not get weird and dress up your turkey with costumes and props?

1. What the fez?

So this is what it would feel like to cook a Muppet.

2. Care for a soak?

"Have you met my friend Brine?"

3. Malibu Turkey.

Finally, a Barbie that looks like we do after we eat Thanksgiving dinner.

4. Things are perking up.

Plenty of breast meat.

5. "Your brown skin shining in the sun…"

Happy Thongsgiving!

6. Care for a bite?

Grandma couldn't come this Thanksgiving, so she sent her teeth.

7. Time to relax.

"When's the damn parade over?"

8. Revenge of the birds.

Murderer most fowl.

9. What the fork?

Orange you glad it's only packing a paring knife?

10. This Just In:

This just out.

11. It's a scream.

It's much more appetizing to eat stuffing from a turkey's shrieking mouth than its body cavity.

Reminder: don't get too full on Thanksgiving or you'll miss out on childhood bedroom sex.

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If you're a young couple, going home to meet the fam for the first time and hoping to desecrate your childhood bedroom with a little freak-nasty fun, this video is for you. You know how you're too bloated and comatose after Thanksgiving dinner to have hot holiday sex with your cousin? Oh, wait, no you don't, because Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday on the calendar. It's a day dedicated to celebrating systematic genocide and gorging down the calorie intake of a silverback gorilla. You're going to feel sad and full, but you shouldn't feel too full to be horny! Don't ruin your chances of getting laid by double fisting pecan pie:

Too Full To F**k

This Thanksgiving, save some room for sex.Starring Paul Gale Comedy and Franchesca "Chescaleigh" Ramsey, in collaboration with The Gregory Brothers.

Posted by The Huffington Post on Monday, November 23, 2015

Your girlfriend is the only one who should be getting stuffed. Happy Thanksgiving!

12 adorable pets that don't understand the historical complexity of Thanksgiving.

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It's good to have gratitude, but celebrating Thanksgiving is problematic. One can't ignore the fact that it involves a lot of overlooking the fact that it makes everyone remember that white Europeans straight up stole from indigenous peoples, and that it our most myth-riddled holiday. But these dogs and cats don't know about any of that, and so they're dressed up as Thanksgiving icons.

1. Jive turkey.

This dog is dressed as a turkey, which they didn't even eat at the first Thanksgiving.

2. Buckling down.

Pilgrims didn't wear buckles on their hats. They were in fashion at the time in their native England, which means the stodgy Pilgrims probably eschewed them.

3. For the birds.

Native Americans taught Pilgrims how to grow food and hunt fowl, not that these dogs would get that.

4. Pilgrims did what they felt.

Pilgrims wore all black only on Sundays, and wore all kinds of different colored clothes the others days of the week.

5. Utter quackery.

If this dog wanted to be more historically accurate, it would've dressed as a a duck or a goose, which was probably what they ate at the first Thanksgiving, not turkey.

6. Take me to church.

The Pilgrims (and Puritans) left England because they found it too liberal with regards to religion. Seriously.

7. Stop gobbling the lies.

The first Thanksgiving feast was spread out over the course of three days, not one large meal all at once.

8. Heads up.

This pug thinks the Christmas shopping season starts too soon, but the First Thanksgiving may have been held as early as September.

9. Not loin.

They might've worn headdresses, but do you really think Native Americans wore loincloths to the first Thanksgiving? It's autumn in New England. It's cold. 

10. Horn of plenty.

Sorry kitty, but the cornucopia originates in ancient myth, not early American history.

11. A platter of lies.

There were certainly no cranberries or potatoes at the First Thanksgiving. Those plants aren't common in Massachusetts.

12. Myth America.

Oh, and it's not the tryptophan in turkey that makes you sleepy, it's the highly caloric meal you've just eaten.

This little girl is very unhappy about the gender of the baby growing in mommy’s tummy.

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What's more disappointing for a little girl than being told she's not allowed to watch Frozen for the 28th time in a row? Discovering that, even though she already has two brothers, the new baby in her mom's stomach is a boy as well. But one of those brothers does have a helpful suggestion, at least: "take it back." Great problem-solving skills, kid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGAdwUC3uIY

11 extremely honest Thanksgiving notes from kids.

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This is the week we all stop being jerks and acknowledge that our lives are decent in at least a few ways, a sentiment which gets a little bit muddled when we go stuff ourselves until we're nauseous while fighting with our relatives. Let's look to the children then, for children are our future, and are blunt and honest about the things in life for which we should be most thankful.

1. Yeah, you could always rent.

Hey Lucy, pay off your mortgage with this one weird trick!

2. Salad days.

In case you can't read that, this kid is thankful for "ranch dressing," which is the Rolls Royce of creamy salad dressings.

3. "Thanks?"

You're welcome?

4. The true meaning of Thanksgiving.

And every other day of the year for that matter.

5. Life moves pretty fast.

Cameron? Fast cars? Forget Lydia, his real best friend is Ferris Bueller.

6. Not Pete Best's kid.

Ringo sees all.

7. Sorry, Dad.

Onions is that movie about the little yellow guys.

8. Ain't that a kick.

The kid doesn't even mind that they're misshapen.

9. Exhaustive and meta!

No. 7 is Thanksgiving.

10. Way to keep it real, kid.

And literal.

11. Pretty much everything then.

They ran out of ink, for which they are also thankful.

This map shows which states have the most Black Friday brawls.

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Like most events, the afterparty to Thanksgiving is often crazier than the real thing. After the day of thanks comes Black Friday, a day of greed, when people bust through doors to get some of those sweet deals on TVs and Tupperware.

While the phrase "doorbusting" sounds super violent, the carnage doesn't stop there. The good people at Estately have calculated which states are most vulnerable to huge fights breaking out at retail locations on Black Friday.

They ranked all 50 states with data from:

  1. Facebook users expressing interest in Black Friday sales — (source: Facebook user data)
  2. Frequency of aggravated assaults (attempts to cause seriously bodily injury purposely) — (source: FBI Uniform Crime Reports—2014)

Good news for those passive people by the Pacific—Washington, Oregon, and Hawaii are very safe places to be on Friday.

Sincere well wishes to the people in the Deep South, particularly Arkansas and Tennessee. May you remain calm in the electronics aisle.

Here is the definitive ranking of all 50:

Stay classy, Massachusetts.

If you liked that, check out more of Estately's enlightening and disturbing maps:

Every state's most embarrassing Google search.
What every state is ranked #1 for.
The top 10 couch potato states.
The most Googled Halloween costume in every state.
The most famous Kevin from every state.

Article 26

The kid who donated his piggy bank to a vandalized mosque was repaid in a big way.

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Jack Swanson is a 7-year-old boy from Texas who donated his piggy bank savings to a mosque in his town that had been vandalized. The Islamic Center of Pflugerville was hit by a hate crime in which feces were smeared on its walls, and copies of the Quran were ripped to pieces. Jack asked his mother if he could help, and she took him to meet mosque leaders and donate his $20 in savings. His gesture meant the world to mosque board member Faisal Naeem:

Jack's $20 are worth $20 million to us because it's the thought that counts. Jack is just a little older than my son, Ibrahim. If we have more kind-hearted kids like them in the world, I have hope for the future.

Here's Jack making his original donation:

https://twitter.com/ABC/status/667336323393527808

It turns out Jack was saving the money in his piggy bank for an iPad. International human rights lawyer Arsalan Iftikhar saw the story, and decided Jack should be repaid for his kindness and generosity. So he sent Jack an iPad, just in time for the holidays:

https://www.facebook.com/ArsalanIftikharFanPage/photos/pb.164732396823.-2207520000.1448469415./10153232274006824/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/ArsalanIftikharFanPage/photos/a.10150168142836824.303332.164732396823/10153232273961824/?type=3&permPage=1

 

Dear Jack,

You had saved $20 in your piggy bank for an Apple iPad. But then a local Islamic mosque was vandalized, so you donated your $20 to this local Texas mosque. Because of your amazing generosity & kind heart, please enjoy this Apple iPad with our sincere thanks.

Love,

The American Muslim Community

Look at that delighted face! Hopefully this news story is seen by kids Jack's age, so that there's hope for the future, just as Naeem had hoped when Jack made his donation. It would be great if stories about goodwill amongst Americans of different faiths drowned out every other type of story that dominates the news.

The top 33 Thanksgiving tweets as picked by someone who spends way too much time on Twitter.

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Thanksgiving is a very special day and night. It's that special time of year again when families gather to feast on birds and trade political arguments. Take a break from explaining your love life to your great aunt and enjoy these great tweets instead! Here are the top 35 Thanksgiving Tweets of 2015!

Donni Saphire has favorited over 615,000 tweets on Twitter and takes them all home for Thanksgiving. He reads every tweet so you don't have to.

1.

https://twitter.com/skullmandible/status/668944452115918852

2.

https://twitter.com/FakeJDGreear/status/667355670065373184

3.

https://twitter.com/AlisonLeiby/status/667724057463377920

4.

https://twitter.com/TheSeanBrewster/status/669021635228266496

5.

https://twitter.com/Schindizzle/status/669046215149903872

6.

https://twitter.com/celestinelea90/status/668809282058452993

7.

https://twitter.com/lareina__be/status/669014399504539648

8.

https://twitter.com/natefernald/status/669011275943452672

9.

https://twitter.com/pourmecoffee/status/668999775413489664

10.

https://twitter.com/TheDairylandDon/status/668515853105778688

11.

https://twitter.com/fivefifths/status/668943775935430656

12.

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/668937402199707648

13.

https://twitter.com/killthenoise/status/668937286520705024

14.

https://twitter.com/rorynotroy/status/668909840849199104

15.

https://twitter.com/SomeChrisTweets/status/668879345834790912

16.

https://twitter.com/CharlieBonomo/status/668816057713364992

17.

https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/668793954335330304

18.

https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4/status/668592336151035905

19.

https://twitter.com/Rschooley/status/668541396354097152

20.

https://twitter.com/harikondabolu/status/668283783012065280

21.

https://twitter.com/ElizaBayne/status/667442593672921088

22.

https://twitter.com/kevinseccia/status/669324559670247425

23.

https://twitter.com/jennyslate/status/669335585358675968

24.

https://twitter.com/LostCatDog/status/669153319043117056

25.

https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/669552669141237760

26.

https://twitter.com/curlycomedy/status/669342058457509888

27.

https://twitter.com/garyfromteenmom/status/668938511001653249

28.

https://twitter.com/ayoair/status/667384540537712640

29.

https://twitter.com/davedittell/status/666292000472236032

30.

https://twitter.com/BillDixonish/status/668862611950202880

31.

https://twitter.com/Love_Lauren_E/status/669294776940945409

32.

https://twitter.com/pleasedontatme/status/669089879888801792

33.

https://twitter.com/WendyLiebman/status/669471657795260416

Someone put up fake Black Friday ads at Target for hilariously crappy products.

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For every legitimately good deal you can get on Black Friday, there are 100 more products on sale that no one ever needs to own, but stores hope you'll buy because you're whipped into such a shopping fervor that you don't even look at what you put in your cart. Then, you get home and realize that you bought a kitchen gadget called the Muffin Topper that just bakes "muffin tops," and you have to find some hapless relative to give it to because you're too embarrassed to return it. Gentle prankster Jeff Wysaski (aka Obvious Plant) just made some hilarious fake ads satirizing these Black Friday deals, and they prove that he understands Black Friday sales very well. 

You can see all of the ads on the Obvious Plant Tumblr (including some Star Wars cleaning tools that people would totally buy if they actually existed). 

If you try one life hack this Fall, make it this leaf hack.

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This guy just created a life hack that proves we're all dumbasses for buying rakes all this time when a nice piece of cardboard will do the trick just fine (assuming nothing is damp). You probably own a large piece of cardboard. Assuming that large piece of cardboard isn't one of the walls of your house, you probably have some leaves you'd like to deal with. Get at it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrQ1uLN9Inc

A parent found their son's sex toy and made the mistake of asking the Internet what it was.

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When a parent found a certain mystery object in the downstairs bathroom, they made the tragic mistake of publicly asking the Internet what it was, outing their son CJ's high-tech masturbation habits. While they're not familiar with modernmasturbation, points to them for using social media.

The comments that followed were perfect. (Comments with the black bar above were written by the original poster.)

Are you seriously asking?

yes

It's called a Fleshlight, a sex toy for men. You masturbate with it. That one has a shower mount. They work great.

no that can't be what this is my son would not have something like that in this bathroom

Oh, it's your son? Well, don't be mad at him. Better for him to use that than catch a disease. They are very popular.

holy crap I am crying laughing right now.

what's funny this is dirty

The real question, does the 'head' look like a mouth with a mustache?

see this guy gets it

it's also a dildo for men to shove up their anus

Not really. I mean, I think they sell dildos also, but the fleshlight is a hole for the cock.

lol I mean I don't know anything about toys I just want to see what she's gonna say.

Some heated discussion. Ultimately though, it's up to CJ to decide how to use it. 

Tom Hanks seemed a little too eager to start rapping during this interview.

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Tom Hanks is terrible at rapping, but you probably still think he's a cool dude, which speaks to how well-liked Tom Hanks is and how pitifully lax our standards for rapping have become. (Now everyone thinks they can do.) Hanks went on The Graham Norton Show recently and was asked about a hip-hop song he and Dan Akroyd recorded to promote their 1987 movie, Dragnet. Hanks jumped right into rapping both parts of the entire first verse. This silliness is truly something to be thankful for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3guwRAvZqI

Here's the original (via Vulture). Hanks says it's the first thing he ever saw on YouTube, which makes him sound super old, yet somehow still doesn't put a dent in his likability.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT_QRKfv8H4

Muslim woman slams Trump by sharing photo of herself with the perfect ID badge for a Muslim American.

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Marwa Balkar is a 22-year-old Muslim woman from Corona, California, who took to Facebook on November 20 to address Donald Trump's refusal to reject the suggestion that Muslims be required to carry special IDs. She joins a distinguished list of Americans that are standing up to Trump's brand of racism and fear—a Muslim U.S. Marine expertly called out Trump for the same reason. And a proud Muslim American woman wore a hijab with the stars and stripes in response to some of Trump's ludicrous ideas about mosques.

Balkar had an idea for what her ID badge should look like: a peace sign.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153772348172360&set=a.10150281831832360.356411.678442359&type=3

Dear @realdonaldtrump, My name is Marwa, and I am a Muslim. I heard you wanted us to start wearing ID badges, so I decided to choose one for myself. I am not easily identifiable as a #Muslim just by looking at me, so my new badge will let me display proudly who I am. I chose the peace sign because it represents my #Islam. The one that taught me to oppose #injustice and yearn for #unity. The one that taught me that killing one innocent life is equivalent to killing humanity. I heard you want to track us as well. Great! You can come with me on my Cancer Awareness walks at the local middle school, or you can follow me to work where it's my job to create happiness. You can also see how my local mosque makes PB&J sandwiches for the homeless and hosts interfaith dinners where everyone is welcome. Maybe then you'll see that me being Muslim doesn't make me any less American than you are. Maybe if you walk in my footsteps, you can see that I am not any less human than you are. Salaamu alaikum #NOTINMYNAME#FightWithPeace 

Perhaps most important about this post is one Facebook user who liked it:

Yes, that's right: Mark Zuckerberg liked this post. A million likes isn't cool, you know what's cool? One like from Mark Zuckerberg.

Early bird.

The Internet has fallen in love with a German tank video from 1986 involving frosty beer.

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When you think about mesmerizing German tank footage, you tend to think of History Channel marathons and World War II, but this week an old clip demonstrating tank barrel stabilization technology from 1986. While it's highly likely that the US employs the same technology, it's unlikely that they demonstrate it using full frosty mugs of German beer. So, let's give thanks for, uh...only using this for beer and not war. Yeah, that's good.

https://twitter.com/MachinePix/status/668118679557685248

Here's the full video. It should be queued up, but just in case, the magic is at 1:40.

https://youtu.be/K2mcO6l-0cY?t=1m35s
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