Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

Here's to the anniversary of you leaving the womb during a time of year when I barely want to leave my apartment.


I'm sorry only one of us can see my penis when I'm standing.

My mouth tastes like I made bad decisions last night.

30th Birthday: Congratulations on being old enough to have a baby on purpose.

It's nice to see Justin Bieber becoming the train wreck celebrity we all hoped he would be.

Doppelbiebs

0
0

If you don't know already, pop sensation Justin Bieber was arrested early this morning in Miami Beach, Florida and charged with driving under the influence and drag racing in a Lamborghini. This was his mugshot...and 3 other eerily similar photos we had time to find before everyone stops caring about this bullsh*t in 5 minutes.

Justin Bieber is still nowhere near being the biggest douchebag ever to drive a Lamborghini.

May Justin Bieber's DUI arrest serve as a warning to his fans who might be tempted to drink and drive once they're old enough to drive.


I miss you almost as much as I tell you I do.

I wait until Thursday to ask people about their weekend plans so there's a better chance they're already busy.

#FirstDraftPickUpLines

The most exercise I get is briefly sucking in my gut whenever I catch my reflection in the mirror.

Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.

Sorry that the casual outfit you chose to wear on Friday led to the cancellation of Casual Friday.

Join me in a brief moment of silence for my dignity before this weekend gets started.


I keep my PMS unnoticeable by remaining psychotic all the time.

20 Pathetic Things Every 30-Year-Old Says

I'm hoping they invent a way to date besides meeting people on or offline.

Nothing's more offensive than asking if I'm on my period while I'm on my period.

I'm gonna hump you as if you had health insurance.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images