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Sympathy


Article 17

Junior the talented French Bulldog sings Rihanna without any need for autotune.

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Are you officially sick of your family? Well here, join this one instead. Junior the French Bulldog and his two dads are the kind of family that loves you because of your flaws and would never ever question how much stuffing you had for breakfast today. In the video below, Junior shows off his making-noise-that-sounds-almost-but-not-quite-like-singing skills, while his owner belts out Rihanna's "Diamonds." Junior is either a great singer or quietly begging his owner to look at the damn road. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv4QO9KGQwE

A man and a dolphin got into a spitting fight. Some say they're still spitting to this day.

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Dolphins are humankind's main competition when it comes to Earthly intelligence...which makes it kind of embarrassing when you find the two smartest species on the planet spitting in each other's face over and over (although not as embarrassing as when dolphin researchers have sex with their subjects). BUT! But, it is hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2FEMfBL3MU#

This video comes from the Bahamas, where cruise passengers visited Dolphin Encounters on Paradise Island near Nassau, which is a saltwater facility with dolphins native to the area.

The condom challenge is like the Ice Bucket Challenge but much less safe and more pointless.

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There is a new video challenge on the Internet, and it is the condom challenge. It's a little bit like the ice bucket challenge, in that it requires assistance from a friend and a shower to avoid making a mess. And that's where the similarities end. A condom full of water is dropped onto someone's head, and it then sits there as if the recipient had a fish bowl on their head. That's it. No one donates money to researching cures for a disease. Nothing good comes from this. This is NOT SAFE and you should NOT try it. Just sit back and watch other reckless adventurers try it instead:

https://www.instagram.com/p/-cgfJsgBbE/?tagged=condomchallengehttps://www.instagram.com/p/-eoQGHxeI2/?tagged=condomchallengehttps://www.instagram.com/p/-ftmhEjEMN/?tagged=condomchallengehttps://www.instagram.com/p/-cyuNvhzXC/?tagged=condomchallengehttps://www.instagram.com/p/-fvQv9rkMf/?tagged=condomchallengehttps://www.instagram.com/p/-hHGQlHpuc/?tagged=condomchallenge

And there you have it. Once this trend is over, everyone can go back to watching water balloon tricks in which people have their heads safely exposed, or watch dogs pop giant water balloons instead. 

Drop in a bucket.

Bears can open car doors now, so don't even try to escape.

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There are bears in your house, bears in your backyard, and bears in your hammock. The bears will get you and if you try to escape, they will systematically destroy your means of conveyance. In the video below, YouTuber Scot Frerman captured a brown bear casually opening his neighbor's car door looking for snacks and assumedly the keys, because he wants to go for a spin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKPBa8jxcz0

A real bear sanctuary would be a place you could go to get away from the bears. But you can't drive there, because bears.

Men were transformed into Disney princesses because anyone can be a princess if you just believe.

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BuzzFeed transformed men into Disney princesses, and they actually looked pretty good. They got their makeup and hair done, and they were fitted into dresses that seem like might be copyright safe knock-offs of actual Disney princess dresses. This video is further proof that our definition of what constitutes a Disney princess is ever expanding, as is our tolerance for these types of videos. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzqfy3Bca_Q

A 19-year-old boy has figured out how to manipulate women through their periods. And Twitter.

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Luke Buchy, a 19-year-old college student/entrepreneur from Ohio, started a delivery service that sends women comfort items when they get their period, and it's weirdly successful. The service is called "The PMS Package" and here's how it works: Customers sign up online, giving the company their credit card number and a rough estimate of their menstrual cycle. They then choose between three different box types. The "Mini Package" is $13 a month, the "Featured Package" is $25 a month, and the "Executive Box" (Oooohhh! Ahhhh!) is $35 a month. Whenever a customer's period is on the horizon, they are shipped a box filled with fun, "girly" items such as stuffed animals, nail polish, candy, and snacks. 

https://twitter.com/BriannaAudris/status/669016976015011840https://twitter.com/kp_kela/status/668258064408014848https://twitter.com/cxcxnutree/status/667881178167312384

The boxes are also sometimes have a theme, depending on the month they're sent.

https://twitter.com/ThePMSPackage/status/668616710036062208

While the company isn't making a profit yet, they're doing pretty well. They have four employees—all under 20 years of age—and 111,000 Twitter followers. So far, they've shipped out 4,000 boxes, and plan to keep expanding. Right now, they work out of Buchy's dorm room and his parents' basement, a few hours away from campus.

According to Cosmopolitan, the reason the business is successful is because Buchy was bestowed with a very strange, specific talent by the social media gods: The ability to appeal to young women on Twitter:

"I got into the Twitter business about a year and a half ago … over that time, I have owned @cutekidvines, @sixsecondcover, @thirtysecondtuts, @worldstarvidz and more," Buchy says. These accounts are similar to the ones embedded above — they have tons of followers and appeal to a young, often female, audience.

"Currently, the only [account] I still have is @thirtysecfights (about 730,000 followers) and I sold the rest in order to free up time to be able to focus solely on my business," Buchy says.

Buchy's explanation of his service is basically that the box serves as a subscription boyfriend:

"It's like," Buchy explains, and then pauses, "it's like, if a girl didn't have a boyfriend to cheer her up or do nice things for her when she's not feeling great, the PMS Package can be something that can provide some comfort."

Is he an unlikely ally to women? Or is this a patronizing attempt to exploit them for profit? More importantly, can you sign up for a free trial box, get free snacks, and then cancel your subscription? Even if you're a dude?

Article 9

Young environmentalist's test answer gives the cold, hard truth.

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Kids say the darndest things, and in this case, "darndest" is "tragic truth about the state of the environment and the lack of sustainable solutions for natural resources after centuries of total disregard." Redditor Carlamon_ster posted this test answer from a kid that you will enjoy as much as the teacher did (a lot).

"Suppose you wanted to build a house on this land and still protect its natural resources," the question asks, "What could you do? How would it protect the natural resources?"

The kid cleverly answers:

You can just forget about the house.

You'll have to laugh or else you'll cry.

19 brave pets who took on bees and sorta won.

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Our pets are brave, wonderful creatures full of adventure and curiosity—which is exactly the combination of traits you need to go nose-to-nose with a bee. Or a bunch of bees. As painful as this is (humans have been known to get stung as well, so maybe you're familiar), it also results in pets being turned into cartoon creatures. If your pet is stung, call your vet, who will most likely recommend Benadryl (adult or children's depending on the size of the animal), although please take your pet to the vet immediately if you're at all concerned. Then take a picture. In all likelihood, though, your pet's bee encounter will just result in a funny photo and a (probably) unlearned lesson in humility.

1. This cat either needs to admit it has a bee problem or a drinking problem.

2. "Don't worry, boss, I took them out with my face!"

3. "That was delicious. That was a delicious bee. May I have more?"

4. This is, believe it or not, a real dog named Barney and not a cartoon dog named Goofy.

5. "The second, third, and fourth bees didn't taste as good as the first."

6. "I ab a Doberbam Pinfer, moft fearfome of all doggies."

7. "I got stung by a bee, not bit by a zombie. Let me in!"

8. "No, really, it helps me smell better."

9. "I shall remember each and every one of your laughs on this day, master."

10. This is probably the most painful-looking one in this series, but somehow also the most adorable.

11.His nose somehow looks even more powerful than usual.

12.As if the cat was going to suddenly start caring just because you got stung.

13.I know it's probably painful, but that swollen paw just looks so fluffy.

14.Maybe he's just allergic to his own adorableness?

15.His paw says "ow," but his face says "worth it."

16. I'm sure this pup will somehow regain confidence in his/her looks.

17. It's like someone forgot not to feed him after midnight, but only a little bit.

18. How to bulk up really quickly:

View post on imgur.com

And finally, an oldie but a goodie.

19. "I've been trapped here in the Internet for years without Benadryl."

Eight-year-old's suggestion for how to find missing planes is actually brilliant.

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An inspired eight-year-old wrote Delta Airlines a letter with a suggestion on how to locate missing planes. He was watching a show about the missing Malaysia Airlines plane when the idea came to him. It's easy to laugh it off as cute and naive, but after going over it a few times, it actually kind of makes sense.

He also supplied a supplementary blueprint to demonstrate how one would execute his concept:

Ah yes, the balloon method.

Delta sent him a nice thank you, along with some free Delta swag:

This kid is going to be Delta's #1 spokesperson. 

It's a pretty solid theory, if you believe that the Malaysia Airplane still exists in this dimension

A deleted plot line from 'Love Actually' has been released, but it's a depressing one.

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The 2003 mega-cast movie Love Actually was a huge smash hit that spawned multiple copycat "many celebrities/plot lines intertwined" films. Part of its success is due to the fact that everyone more or less finds some kind of happy resolution, reaffirming their faith in love. Except Laura Linney. And Emma Thompson, though she's better off without that philanderer! And maybe that guy who is in love with his best friend's wife? Well, those fools are still lucky, because there was a whole plot point that got deleted about a lesbian couple battling cancer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ao_heePixQ

One half of the couple is supposed to be the headmistress of the school where Emma Thompson's character's son attends, but those scenes got cut, so the lesbians did too. And that's the story of how Love Actually only exists for heterosexual couples in the world of this movie.

Target manager delivers "Braveheart-style" speech before opening the doors on Black Friday.

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Black Friday has come and gone, but now, like many great war documentaries, we can get a peek of what it was like inside the big box stores for the brave men and women who battled the customers that had "bargains in their heads and fire in their eyes."

Every man dies, but not every man really wears suspenders.

Seeing the opportunity to inspire his team and also to invoke the spirit of (pre-everything-bad) Mel Gibson or that dude who delivered the St Crispin's Day speech, manager Scott from Target stands upon his register and bellows in a fake British accent a rousing oration.

Why? Our bald-Santa-Braveheart-guy-from-300 answers with this heartening rhetoric:"We are more than just a store. This is a team. This is a family. This! Is! Target!"

No Target team members were hurt during the filming of this video or Black Friday in general. I think we know who to thank.

(by Myka Fox)


Cards Against Humanity is offering the Black Friday special humanity deserves.

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After last year's groundbreaking Black Friday special offer of six bucks for a box of poop, Cards Against Humanity has somehow managed to top itself with its 2015 offer of $5 for literally nothing.

https://twitter.com/CAH/status/670349286081740800

The reaction has been...amazing.

https://twitter.com/TheNextWeb/status/670314741458432000https://twitter.com/rich_gallup/status/670319165987823618https://twitter.com/MaxTemkin/status/670353309555752960https://twitter.com/MaxTemkin/status/670333627247534088https://twitter.com/MaxTemkin/status/670315896301162496https://twitter.com/benjamminking/status/670295408208310272https://twitter.com/charleszink/status/670310433870364672https://twitter.com/Scumble373/status/670310509887942656https://twitter.com/sirmitchell/status/670312218009800704

Related: 43 of the most perfectly demented Cards Against Humanity combinations of all time.

We have a store, by the way. With real stuff. Just saying.

This book will blow your mind without even turning a single page.

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In the 18th century, this kind of "fore-edge painting" was all the rage for high-end books, concealing an elaborate landscape scene that was invisible when the book was closed. Even though bored 20th century students were known to attempt a cheap version of this with their school notebooks, the labor and skill-intensive nature of this artform means there are very few practitioners of the art left today. This video is from the Cornell University Library's Rare Books department, and is a great demonstration of the kind of fine detail the world lost as mechanization took place (not that books books being affordable wasn't worth it): 

See the painting hidden in the gilt edges of the pages of the book!! It's called fore-edge painting, and this book is one of several in Cornell University Library - Rare and Manuscript Collections.

Posted by Cornell University Library on Thursday, November 19, 2015

Related: Forgotten insults from the 1700s that you need to start using again, you lobcock.

Man has embarrassingly good excuse for why cops thought he was loudly murdering a lady.

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Australia is a big, empty country, but even there people will hear you if you scream loud enough—and a lot of people called the cops on a Sydney man, claiming they heard furniture crashing, a woman screaming, and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you!" Just to be clear—those are all great reasons to call the cops. That said, the man had a perfect explanation for his behavior, which the Harbourside NSW police reprinted in its embarrassing entirety. 

21/11/2015 Wollstonecraft 2.00am. Police received numerous calls in relation to a violent domestic, with reports of a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, your dead! Die Die!!”, with the sounds of furniture being tossed around the unit. Numerous police cars responded to the address and began banging on the door. A man answered the door, out of breath and rather flushed with the following conversation:
Police: “Where’s your wife”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “Where your girlfriend”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”
Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about I live alone”
Police: “Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit”

At this point the male became very sheepish.

Police: “come on mate, what have you done to her.”
Male: “it was a spider”
Police “Sorry??”
Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police :”what about the women screaming?”
Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders”
As it turns out the male was chasing a rather large spider around the unit with a can or mortein. After a very long pause some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left.

Well that’s it for the week, hope your having a great weekend.

https://www.facebook.com/HarboursideLAC/photos/a.223797017677235.55290.217394921650778/1053795808010681/?type=3&theater

Just a reminder to the public that bug spray and exterminators are both quiet, effective ways to deal with a spider, and also that cops will tell everybody and laugh at you if you're a wuss about spiders.

Related: OMG WTF UGH: 4-acre spiderweb blankets warehouse with millions of spiders in urban nightmare.

This is why you don't give pro athletes live mics during games.

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It was Thanksgiving yesterday, and that means the Packers played the Vikings. It also meant, apparently, families all across America gathering around to hear Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who joined America's ranks of live microphone bunglers, use some very NSFW language when he accidentally dropped a snap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJBW1_DxkrU

This genius is an expert at wrapping gifts in the most unappealing way possible.

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How you wrap presents for someone's birthday or Christmas or Hanukkah (or whatever festival of America-destroying evil people who say "Happy Holidays" celebrate) says a lot about you—for this gift-giver, it's that they're a mild sadist with a good sense of humor. Redditor Zannrael is celebrating their second year as the Worst Gift Wrapper on the Internet. These gifts are all intended for a White Elephant party, which is where guests all bring gifts and then are allowed to pick one brought by another guest. Zannrael's presents were wrapped up as perishable grocery items, which is a great way to disguise them and prevent White Elephant cheaters from poaching high-value items.

They also explained how to do it. Here's the first image, which isn't showing up in the album for some reason:

And here's the full album of his creations, with commentary on each step:

I'm the worst gift wrapper ever. (2015 edition!)

Here are Zannrael's gifts from last year, which had a decidedly more martial bent.

I'm The Worst Gift Wrapper Ever

That's a pretty impressive feat to top, folks. Fortunately, you have a whole month to do it. You haven't bought any gifts yet, have you. *sigh* OK. Just...remember to take the prices off, OK? Baby steps.

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