Musician Ed Sheeran is known for treacly love songs about still caring about someone even when they're all old and sh*t. Not the kinda guy you'd picture in a peep show. In this bizarre "experiment," Australian radio show hosts Hamish and Andy set up a 30 second live show with Sheeran that cost only $2! Then they went out of their way to may it as unsettling as possible, even dressing up Hamish as a promoter who looks like he probably masturbates on the subway. Sheeran ended up sitting on a hard little stool alone for over 2 hours before anyone took the bait.

Most people seem to enjoy Sheeran through their iPhone screens, but the guy at the end who sings along nails it. That's like being at a strip club and taking your clothes off! Creepiest thing you could possibly do.

The 90s are soooooo 15 years ago, but Melissa Joan Hart from Clarissa Explains It Allall is here to explain them, and recreate her show's intro, in this video for Bustle. It'll also help youngsters catch up on what they missed.

A lot of people on the Internet are obsessed with the 90s, even if they were born at the end of that decade, just because nostalgia is cool. The ultimate litmus test of whether or not you were one of the kids Nirvana sings about in "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is if you remember the glory days of actress Melissa Joan Hart, or if you even recognize her at all. The star of the seminal sitcoms Clarissa and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Hart is the foremost authority on the (Bill) Clinton era.

Watch as she Melissasplains the music, heartthrobs, and fashions of her youth. She even dishes on the mysterious origin of sexting.

It can sometimes seem like Instagram goddesses just wake up wearing adorable miniskirt-and-boots combinations in front of rustic barn doors with lattes in hand. But actually, those perfect tableaus take hours to create, and someone has to click the button over and over and over again to get it right. That someone is often the Instagram Husband, according to this funny video from the writers of The Mystery Hour, a live talk show taped in Springfield, MO. If your passion is getting likes, you better hope your husband likes you enough to risk his life taking photos of you from weird angles.

There's major pie drama brewing in Hollywood. And it all traces back to the Kardashians, of course.

Last week, Khloé Kardashian shared an Instagram photo featuring an array of baked treats, including three pies. She wrote in the caption about how proud she was of her baking skills, noting, "I love testing myself and seeing what I can accomplish and actually make successfully!"

Now, TMZ, who can't leave well enough pies alone, is accusing Khloé of lies. Pie lies. The gossip site is saying the pies are actually from Sweet Lady Jane, a popular L.A. bakery. And they call out an additional photo that Kardashian allegedly posted but now seems to be deleted that even showed the pies resting on an oven rack.

Even if Khloé did lie about the pies—which has not been proven!—it should not be held against her. What's with all the pressure on women to bake their own pies from scratch? It's 2015! Haven't people of all genders earned the right to buy baked goods from a store like their male counterparts? Also, she only purported to bake the pies in the caption of a celebrity Instagram photo. If we're going to hold people accountable for everything they say in those, then Taylor Swift's entire squad is probably going to jail.

Mona Joshi, a resident of Mumbai, couldn't find a dress (more specifically, a Ghagra) in her size at the Kalki Fashion store in her neighborhood. She asked an associate what women like her are supposed to do when dress shopping at their store. The associate's response? "Go to the gym."

One of Joshi's friends e-mailed the brand to complain, and when word got out about it, a bunch of people started writing on Kalki Fashion's Facebook wall:

The brand apologized to the complainants over social media, and when Joshi revisited the store, they apologized to her in person. Joshi made it clear that her intentions were not to attack the brand, but to raise awareness of body image issues. She told Buzzfeed:

The purpose is NOT to defame a brand. The owner cannot be held responsible for a momentary action of an employee. It is to share awareness about fat shaming and much-needed politeness and basic decency among people.

#ghagrastruggles

Adam Scott has imposter syndrome. That's the conclusion you'll come to after seeing his interview with Conan O'Brien last night in which the Parks and Recreation actor and comedian talks about being the only celebrity backstage at the pop star's concert who wasn't invited to go onstage as a part of Swift's (sigh) "squad." Sure, Swift could have been nice enough to ask Scott, but sometimes you just need to ask for what you want, even if you feel embarrassed because you're best known for twolow-rated (but beloved!) television shows. But come on, couldn't hate you more than she must hate Jared Leto. 

Scott—who, honestly, is at least a Matt LeBlanc-level celeb these days—says that Chris Rock was also backstage and urged him to go onstage. But Scott stayed behind. His kids, who were watching the concert with him, weren't impressed.

Angela Halliwell, a mom living in South London, filed an official complaint with UK's communication commission about an episode of the beloved, hilariously-named kids show, OOglies, for being evocative of an "ISIS-style beheading."

The episode, titled "Toast Soldiers 1," features an anthropomorphic piece toast throwing a grenade made out of a grape and beheading a hard-boiled egg, which may or may not represent a Western journalist. It's a breakfast-table battle that is the result of eggs systematically destabilizing the toasts' region over decades, with litres and litres of jam being spilled on both sides.

Halliwell told the Daily Mail that by being exposed to the toasts' ISIS-style execution, "Kids could think extreme violence like beheading is normal."

The episode initially aired in 2012, when the toast was perceived to be mere bread, and less of a threat to the comfort and safety of the eggs.

It is very possible that the Ooglies were clairvoyant in anticipating the ISIS threat, or it's simply just a coincidence.

Regardless, the egg community stands united against the toast threat. 

Catching cable and local newscasters using the same canned joke over and over is always fun, even if it is also depressing proof that our news is all emanating from the same corporate hose. That is hilariously and somewhat frighteningly proven in this classic video from Conan showing anchors making the exact same joke about buying yourself gifts over and over. 

This clip is from 2013 (not that the joke has gotten any more stale) but is circulating again like a tired human-interest story due to the Christmas season. Watching this also makes you feel some sympathy for the poor, benighted local newspeople out there—they're understaffed, underfunded, and often have to turn around pre-packaged "news bits" (which are often re-warmed Internet stories from a few days earlier) in 30 minutes or less. That said, they should have seen enough bits like this before to know they really need to put their own spin on the "recommended lame joke" that comes down from corporate.

People who hate chewing noises are geniuses, people who sleep in are geniuses, and now researchers have published new reports asserting that people who are slobs are actually geniuses. It's like some kind of neurotic trifecta! Tell your mom immediately that your apartment isn't a big ole mess because you're lazy, it's a mess because science says: “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition, which can produce fresh insights.” That's according to the Association of Psychological Science and research scientist Kathleen Vohs. See, mom? Making your kids clean their rooms is stifling their creativity.

In an article for Elite Daily, John Haltiwanger cites Vohs' research as well as A Perfect Mess, a recent popular book on the subject by Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freedman that makes the case for being disorderly. As Freedman and Abrahamson write:

Mess isn’t necessarily the absence of order. A messy desk can be a highly effective prioritizing and accessing system.

On a messy desk, the more important, urgent work tends to stay close by and near the top of the clutter, while the safely ignorable stuff tends to get buried to the bottom or near the back, which makes perfect sense.

It's not a perfect trade-off, of course. The other side of it, according to Vohs, is that people who are immersed in very orderly environments tend to do as their told and make more "good" decisions, like choosing an apple over a candy bar as a snack. But who wants to do that? Of course, we don't always have a choice in what sort of environment we're surrounded by, but Vohs says we shouldn't discount ambient clutter as a huge influence on our behavior:

Prior work has found that a clean setting leads people to do good things: Not engage in crime, not litter, and show more generosity. We found, however, that you can get really valuable outcomes from being in a messy setting

We are all exposed to various kinds of settings, such as in our office space, our homes, our cars, even on the Internet. Whether you have control over the tidiness of the environment or not, you are exposed to it and our research shows it can affect you.

So, being neat is appropriate for some activities, but wild late-night brainstorming sessions might actually be helped by the clutter of pizza boxes and scattered Post-It notes. As Haltiwanger writes:

Simply put, messy people are adventurous and adaptable. They’re pioneers who are more concerned with filling the limited amount of time allotted to them with meaningful tasks rather than tedious activities like cleaning.

Yeah, cleaning is for boring people, mom! In conclusion, that's why the underwear is on the floor.

Martin Shkreli, the much loathed and infamous CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals, has been revealed as the owner of the very expensive sole copy of the Wu-Tang Clan album Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. Shkreli made headlines in September because of his decision to jack the price of a drug used to treat AIDS and cancer patients by 5000%. Since the controversy and subsequent backlash emerged, he's had a tough time staying out of the news. He reluctantly and ambiguously agreed to lower the drug price, but not until after the Internet uncovered more fun details about his outstanding character: he offered his ex-girlfriend $10,000 to go down on her, and had a campaign donation to Bernie Sanders get rejected and donated to charity.

The album Once Upon a Time in Shaolin was created by the Wu-Tang Clan with the purpose of having only one copy in existence, which would be sold to the highest bidder. Originally, they wanted to contractually forbid the buyer from releasing the music for 88 years, but then elected to let the music be released for free as long as it was never resold commercially. Treated as a piece of art, it sounds like some treasured relic held by the Freemasons or Illuminati: the 31-track album came in a hand-carved box, accompanied by a leather-bound book with 174 pages of parchment paper filled with lyrics and background on the songs. One double-LP exemplar of the album was made in 2014, and was stored in a vault at the Royal Mansour Hotel in Morocco. Duplicates of the album have been destroyed.

The bidding and sale of the album was handled by online auction site Paddle8. On November 24th, Paddle8 announced that the album had been sold for a figure in the millions, after months of contractual negotiations. There was speculation about who made the purchase, with guesses including Quentin Tarantino. Nope. Surprise! It's Shkreli:

Shkreli himself has confirmed the purchase on Twitter, with his usual smug and spoiled tone:

He's also looking to blow more money on private albums so people hate him even more:

The terms of the agreement and the sale began in May, well before Shkreli became the poster boy for pharmaceutical and capitalistic greed. As such, the Wu-Tang Clan knew little about the buyer other than that he had the requisite money to buy the album. As for Wu-Tang fans, they're naturally devastated:

Fans know that Wu-Tang Clan "ain't nuthing to fuk wit." Hopefully Shkreli releases the music and allow fans to listen to it, instead of holding onto to it like Gollum holds his precious in The Lord of the Rings. But if his past behavior serves as a future indicator, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin might as well still be in a vault in Morocco. Until then, the Internet will once again rally against Shkreli, like a giant swarm of Wu-Tang Killa Bees.

There is one clause in the contract Shkreli signed that many give hope to Wu-Tang fans. It was pointed out on Twitter by Rob Wesley:

Now this is getting interesting.

In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Chloë Grace Moretz revealed that she won't be dyeing her hair red for her upcoming role as The Little Mermaid in The Little Mermaid. Diehard Disney fans are freaking out, but if you do a little research, you'll see that her reasoning makes total sense. See, The Little Mermaid is a fairy tale written by Hans Christen Andersen. The Disney animated musical from 1989 is one of many adaptations that have been made since the publication of Andersen's story in 1837, and it just happens to be the version most people know about. The Ariel character is not in the original Andersen story, though; it was a Disney invention used to make the story more accessible. 

The new Little Mermaidthat Moretz is acting in a "revisionist" reimagining of the classic story (think Snow White and the Huntsman), produced by Universal and Working Title instead of Disney. The Little Mermaid story is really old, so its copyright has expired, meaning that it's in the public domain and that Disney doesn't have the sole rights to the story. The Universal version will be based off of the Andersen text and has nothing to do with the Disney movie (although there might be some indirect/subconscious influence going on).

Isn't intellectual property law cool?

Khloé Kardashian has been going through a lot lately, what with her estranged husband Lamar Odom almost dying in a brothel and her having to take over his care—but apparently the straw that broke the most in-shape back in America's most famous family was TMZ catching her lying about baking fresh pies. This pie incident (not the malicious paternity rumors or other insults Khloé has heard over the years) has apparently caused her to lose it, and now Khloé is trying to break the Internet with curse words by posting this to Facebook a little before 1pm EST today:

Wow! That was, uh, direct. Tell it like it is, Khloé? Meanwhile, if you were wondering whether Khloé had a more robust supply of f*cks to give on Instagram, the answer is no:

Donald Trump was a contender for Time Magazine's Person of the Year, and today the magazine released footage of Donald struggling with a bald eagle during a photo shoot at his office in Manhattan. The eagle is named Uncle Sam, and he's 27 years old. It's unclear whether he's a registered voter, but he certainly did not volunteer for this job. It appears as though he dislikes Trump more than the person who swapped Trump's dialogue with Darth Vader's in Star Wars clips.

The best footage of all is when Uncle Sam totally messes up Trump's hair. Using the wingspan of a bald eagle as a relative gauge of measurement, that strand of hair appears to be at least eight inches long. Strands of hair that long come only from comb-overs. That's pure comb-over baby, which disproves the time Trump invited a random woman from an audience to pull on his hair in a sad attempt to prove its strength.

Here's the rare piece of technology that might be used by both spies and video game developers—a face-mapping animation technology based on emotional expressions that can essentially manufacture realistic-looking video of famous people saying anything a creator wants. In this demonstration, for example, the words of former President George W. Bush's are inserted into the mouths of the most powerful and influential people in the world: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Neil Patrick Harris. Warning: uncanny valley below.

It's part of a project made by researchers at the University of Washington. The cool thing is that when puppet Barack Obama starts talking like George W. Bush, he really makes the expressions that Barack Obama would make — not the ones you expect to see from Bush. They also slow down the speech and modify the voice. With any person who is on camera a lot, like an actor or politician, this technology can capture and catalog different moods, facial tics, and states of contemplation. With this facial vocabulary, you can have the puppet version say entirely new words, because the computer "knows" what that person's face would do, keeping their personality and character traits intact. As one YouTube commenter said, "This is going to revolutionize the Tom Hanks porn industry."

Imgur user Mollywho moved people all over the Internet this week by sharing a series of positive bullet points left by her husband on their bedroom mirror. According to Mollywho, "I've been depressed lately. Thanksfully (sic), my husband seems to get the whole "For better, for worse..." thing." Who would have thought a marriage could be strengthened by what looks like eyebrow pencil (if it's Sharpie, they are not getting their rental deposit back). This is the most romantic thing that will be very awkward when it's eventually Windexed away (see the full list below):

She writes:

I've been depressed lately. Thankfully, my husband seems to get the whole "For better, for worse..." thing

I've been juggling a LOT lately. Trying to move up the (ahem) corporate latter. Just got married. Couldn't afford a wedding. Family is sparse. Falling out with friends, yaddadyadda. But, the thing is, amidst all the struggle, my husband has relentlessly tried to cheer me up. I've not been the east person to deal with. In fact, sometimes I've said the cruelest most hateful words to my new husband. But he somehow forgives me every time. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I know he probably realizes I'm mentally ill. But he holds my hand, and he tries his best. Today when I came home from a trip to SF, I flopped onto my bed in tears. I looked to my left, and saw these words painted all across my mirror. I think he wanted me to remember how much he loves me. Because he knows how quickly I forget. He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today...

The list says:

1. she is my best friend

2. she never quits on herself or me

3. she gives me time to work on my crazy projects

4. she makes me laugh, everyday

5. she is gorgeous

6. she accepts the crazy person i am

7. she's the kindest person i know 8. she's got a beautiful singing voice

9. she's gone to a strip club with me

10. she has experienced severe tragedy yet is the most optimistic person about humanity i know

11. she has been fully supportive about my career choices and followed me each time

12. without realizing it, she makes me want to do more for her than i have ever wanted to do for anyone

13. she's done an amazing job at advancing her career path

14. small animals make her cry

15. she snorts when she laughs

Since the post went viral, Mollywho has been getting a lot of comments on her fleeting mention of mental illness, and updated her post with some specifics on that:

EDIT: for everyone reading this, please know that mental illness is NOT cured by nice words on a mirror. In fact, it takes professional care, love, empathy, sometimes even medication. Many people struggle with it - more than you probably even realize. And instead of showing them hate or anger when they act out. Show them kindness and remind them things can and WILL get better. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. If that person can't be you - see if you have any resources for therapy.

Lastly, I am not an evil person. I am not "too good" or "not good enough" for my husband. We all have our down days. And sometimes we don't handle it well. BUT, we are partners. He is here for me when I'm done. And I cherish that. But what I failed to mention is that HE has his down days, too. And I will be there to hold his hand, just like he holds mine. Life can be hard. The answer is never to mock, scoff, or belittle someone. Be kind. Be the best version of yourself. And be most of all- be patient.

Depression, anxious, in fact -- all mental illness is ubiquitous. Instead of stigmatizing the illness (or the person!) reach out. Don't ostracize them. I made this post to show the world that even the little gestures like a small list of "<3's" on my bedroom mirror can offer a little reminder of the love and kindness there is in the world.

Very true. Screw the deposit.

Breast augmentation service Make Yourself Amazing released a "groundbreaking study" last week on their website to advertise the secret power of the most unlikely anatomical underdog: boobs. Who even likes them? "Uh, no one," you say. Hold up, there you are wrong. Dudes like big breasts! It's crazy, but true. In a very scientific and legitimate Tinder experiment last week, MYA used two different profile photos and swiped right on 1,000 guys, then counted the matches. In one profile pic, the woman featured was president of the itty-bitty titty committee. In the other photo, she was exactly the same except for two important details: lefty and righty.

They then shared the startling results. It turns out that men using a hookup app want to see more chest and a little less face. They're also not too bright if they can't tell those particular boobles are a gift from Photoshop, not God.

MYA is obviously just trying to sell more fake tatas to insecure ladies who want to get swept up by some Tinder Romeo. Maybe they're right. We all long to be loved for the size of the meat sacks hanging from our chest in a wire and nylon sling. But if you just need the swipes, Photoshop works as well and is much cheaper.