Having Monday off is a great opportunity to hate Tuesday.
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The photos you post online are really intriguing, in that I'm intrigued as to why you posted them.
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At least being in a car in standstill traffic on Memorial Day meant you didn't get sunburned on the nicest day of the weekend.
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I'm excited to have only four days to hear about your three-day weekend.
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May you survive the horrors and indignities of your summer internship long enough to someday impose them on someone else.
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
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A short workweek just means I have fewer days to cram in the same amount of hatred towards my job.
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Huge 3AM fire helps Royal Caribbean enter the emerging "Cruise From Hell" market.
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Nothing adds to the joys of air travel like another passenger experiencing the joys of parenting.
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10 ways to let everyone know you're miserably hungover.
Sometimes drinking in moderation is problem drinking.
So you got drunk last night and now you're hungover. The softest whisper is like a blaring rap airhorn, but at least your agonizing headache is distracting you from the endless waves of nausea! In your alcohol-induced delirium you probably weren't giving much thought to how today's older, wiser, more sober you would feel about those last however-many shots of tequila. We've got you covered. Below is a list of 10 ways to let people know that you know last night's younger, more foolish you made a horrible mistake. Share them on Facebook and Twitter or use your remaining functional brain cells to try and string together a coherent complaint of your own.
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I'm worried how I'm going to fit the 15 minutes of work I actually do into this four-day workweek.
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The next time my cat wakes me at 5:00 a.m. to be fed I'm probably going to get out of bed and feed it like I always do.
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Today's 4 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language
To the one who got away, or more appropriately, the one who escaped.
Time once again to delve into the twisted minds of our users with Today's User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language.
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A summer internship is a great way to learn how people at a company pretend to work.
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Based on my Facebook feed I've come to realize that you're a fan of your baby.
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Sorry your summer birthday means my sweaty pit stains make our birthday hug a particularly unpleasant experience.
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Vatican clarifies that atheists are still going to hell they don't believe in.
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Sorry the cost of upkeep on your foreign car means you can't afford to visit the country it came from.
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I challenge you to find a more loyal pet on which to blame your farts.
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Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language
Sometimes?
Hey, let's check in with some really horrible user cards!
Abandon all hope ye who enter here >>
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