Having Monday off is a great opportunity to hate Tuesday.
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The photos you post online are really intriguing, in that I'm intrigued as to why you posted them.
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At least being in a car in standstill traffic on Memorial Day meant you didn't get sunburned on the nicest day of the weekend.
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I'm excited to have only four days to hear about your three-day weekend.
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May you survive the horrors and indignities of your summer internship long enough to someday impose them on someone else.
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
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A short workweek just means I have fewer days to cram in the same amount of hatred towards my job.
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Huge 3AM fire helps Royal Caribbean enter the emerging "Cruise From Hell" market.
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Nothing adds to the joys of air travel like another passenger experiencing the joys of parenting.
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10 ways to let everyone know you're miserably hungover.
Sometimes drinking in moderation is problem drinking.
So you got drunk last night and now you're hungover. The softest whisper is like a blaring rap airhorn, but at least your agonizing headache is distracting you from the endless waves of nausea! In your alcohol-induced delirium you probably weren't giving much thought to how today's older, wiser, more sober you would feel about those last however-many shots of tequila. We've got you covered. Below is a list of 10 ways to let people know that you know last night's younger, more foolish you made a horrible mistake. Share them on Facebook and Twitter or use your remaining functional brain cells to try and string together a coherent complaint of your own.
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I'm worried how I'm going to fit the 15 minutes of work I actually do into this four-day workweek.
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The next time my cat wakes me at 5:00 a.m. to be fed I'm probably going to get out of bed and feed it like I always do.
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Today's 4 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language
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A summer internship is a great way to learn how people at a company pretend to work.
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Based on my Facebook feed I've come to realize that you're a fan of your baby.
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Sorry your summer birthday means my sweaty pit stains make our birthday hug a particularly unpleasant experience.
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Vatican clarifies that atheists are still going to hell they don't believe in.
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Sorry the cost of upkeep on your foreign car means you can't afford to visit the country it came from.
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I challenge you to find a more loyal pet on which to blame your farts.
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Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language
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