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Video of employees getting high at Pizza Hut doesn't show all the pizza they must have eaten.

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A lot of weird stuff goes down at fast food chains.This latest piece of "Are you serious?" news comes from a Pizza Hut in Cypress, California. Instead of watching the ball drop, a couple of Pizza Hut employees decided that bong rips were an excellent way to ring in the new year at work.

They're surely not the only fast food workers to have gotten high at work, but these employees thought that it would be a great idea to film themselves. The footage obviously made its way on the world wide web, so now everyone knows about their illicit bong rips in the kitchen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrN2ToJnjAY

Twirling away from the camera doesn't hide you from view.

Chances are these Pizza Hutters are starting 2016 with a job search. Yay!


Article 29

Emma Watson is also excited for black Hermione so shut up, racists.

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Last month, it was announced that Noma Dumezweni will play Hermione Granger in the new play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in London.

https://twitter.com/complex_uk/status/678912843014533122?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

And because there are straight-up racists out there, people on Twitter objected to the idea of Hermione as a black woman. Others rejected Dumezweni supposedly not because she's black, but because she isn't Emma Watson.

https://twitter.com/lackthereof1783/status/679357304341270529https://twitter.com/Janani13/status/679028383611686912https://twitter.com/Optimus_Primus_/status/678979992005439490https://twitter.com/invisiblegirl99/status/679052357594779648https://twitter.com/wronskifeints/status/679033755739271168https://twitter.com/aurosan/status/679043043597643777

J.K. Rowling released her ruling immediately after the casting news:

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/678888094339366914?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Alongside the good old-fashioned Twitter outrage, some people were actively awaiting Emma Watson's response.

https://twitter.com/niniadepapa/status/678998277124149248

Seeing as how Twitterers were denouncing Dumezweni in the name of Watson fandom, the onus was on Watson to shut them down.

https://twitter.com/EmWatson/status/683365894517477377

Dumezweni didn't need the blessing of the previous actress to play Hermione, but she definitely appreciated it.

https://twitter.com/MissDumezweni/status/683453494930608131?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Tailgater joyfully sets himself on fire, but don’t worry, his friends had their phones handy.

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You might be having a rough time sitting at your desk today, but at least you're not as uncomfortable as this idiot, who set his backside ablaze while celebrating the Buffalo Bills win over the New York Jets yesterday. The unnamed superfan won tailgating forever when a video of him catching on fire was posted to Twitter yesterday.​

https://twitter.com/boxxa/status/683699507238965248

While getting drunk and excited for sports, someone lit a table on fire, because of course they did. Then, the most fun bro of all threw himself in the flames. His pants promptly caught on fire, but instead of panicking, he screamed with delight. The crowd went wild, so naturally this showboating SOB jumped in again. He might have gone back for a third time, but his buzz-kill friends ended up dousing him with beer to calm the blaze, even though it's a total party foul to waste alcohol like that.

You can't put water on a grease fire, but what about beer on a butt-fire?

'Pitch Perfect' co-stars get engaged in real life. Hopefully, it won't ruin the movie for you.

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In the "People In Movies Have Real Lives" department, Pitch Perfect co-stars Anna Camp and Skylar Astin announced their engagement via a January 3 Instagram selfie of themselves posing with a diamond ring the size of a small planet. While they didn't play love interests in the movie (Astin's character instead falls for the film's OTHER Anna, Anna Kendrick) they started dating in 2013, probably thanks to Bruno Mars.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BADpx4AgpPM/

The Instagram caption reads "I asked. She said yes!" which definitely refers to the marriage proposal and not the idea of wearing sunglasses together forever. 

Congratulations, you guys! This is wonderful and adorable and let's all hope their relationship goes the way of Goldie and Kurt and not K-Stew and R-Patz. 

The happy couple looking (wait for it) PERFECT at an event in May 2015.

Article 25

This girl's job is to watch UFC guys take off their clothes and weigh in. It looks hard.

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The UFC has a job that essentially boils down to staring really hard at really built dudes. Sounds like an enjoyable task, right? From the looks—or very intense stares and lip-biting—of it, this particular UFC weigh-in girl would seem to agree.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1VKyaZAEKw

Her primary job is to asses the men for any additional items that may inflate their weight before hitting the scale. Her secondary job is to love life because she gets paid to watch muscular men strip. [Update: A commenter on Reddit believes that she's actually a PR person, but either way, she still gets to stare at dudes undressing.]

Oh hai!

So, uh, how does one get this job?

Ricky Martin shared a shirtless photo of him in a Speedo and it's indescribably beautiful.

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Holy effing New Year, Batman, Ricky Martin posted a photo of himself wearing naught but a Speedo, and it is insane (is this what he meant by "La Vida Loca?" Why not). He is 44 years old and a dad to twins. He also has abs in places you've never seen a human being have abs. He bangs...out a lot of crunches in the gym.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAHkC4Tv_PB/?taken-by=ricky_martin

The photo was evidently taken while Martin was on vacation to his native Puerto Rico with his sons Matteo and Valentino (both born via a surrogate mother in 2008). 

https://www.instagram.com/p/_7vxZfP_HL/?taken-by=ricky_martinhttps://www.instagram.com/p/_9uLauP_GC/?taken-by=ricky_martin

Lesbians touched a penis for the first time and were not impressed.

Article 21

Here are 2016's best and worst cities for finding a job, in case you get fired for being on this site all day.

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Do you live in one of the worst cities in America to find a new job in, or are you just an unhire-able loser? This handy graphic from WalletHub—based on metrics such as job openings, employment growth, and monthly median starting salary in 150 of the most populated cities in the country—holds the answer. It may seem obvious, but moving to a city that has filed for bankruptcy protection, like Stockton, California, or Detroit, Michigan, is not a recipe for success. It's less obvious that moving to a random town in Texas may actually be your best bet for getting a job—and if not, at least some decent Tex-Mex. 

Can never find that dang 'Find Job' button on the keyboard.

But be wary of California if you're hoping to make a fresh start. Five of the 10 worst places to find a job in 2016 are located in the ironically nicknamed Golden State. Here are the 10 best places to look for a job you'll eventually end up hating:

If you lived here, you'd have a job by now, and lots of access to strip malls.

Number one is Plano, TX, which, according to Wikipedia, boasts both a fire department and upscale shopping mall (both hiring, presumably).

And here are the 10 worst places to find a job, other than all the places you've already mailed your resume to:

If you live in one of these cities, it's time to try one of those "I make $2,000/week working from home" scams.

Find out just how bad you and your city have got it at WalletHub.

Raccoon accidentally melts its own brain and lunch by trying to wash some cotton candy.

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True fact: most raccoons have not completed even a basic science class, the kind that would help them understand why cotton candy melts in water. Thus, the raccoons of the world are left confused and bereft of sweets when they try to give their cotton candy a small rinse (raccoons rinse everything). After you watch this poor raccoon try it, consider donating to a charity that helps raccoons, bears, and other woodland creatures get the science education they so obviously need.

https://vine.co/v/ibFH7bQVaHK

Ashley Benson of 'Pretty Little Liars' was turned down for a role because she was 'too fat.'

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In case you needed any more examples of just how insane Hollywood is, Ashley Benson of Pretty Little Liars was recently given the bad news that she was "too fat" for a role, which is a little surprising given that she's a SIZE TWO. Yes. A size two.

Wow, so fat!

According to an Ocean Drive interview, she cried for 30 minutes and then tried to shake it off, which is a much healthier response than developing a serious eating disorder, just about the only way a size two human female could actually get even smaller. 

https://twitter.com/OceanDriveMag/status/684083206803603456

Benson has condemned the industry's obsession with thinness before, even criticizing a promo poster for her own TV show that was photoshopped to make her appear skinnier. Can't wait to hear about how Tilda Swinton (5'11") gets told she's "too short" and Rosario Dawson that she's "too ethnic." Great job, Hollywood!

A sneaky cat came home to its owner with a mysterious note tucked in its collar.

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According to Love Meow (you know, the popular cat blog), a cat named "Nala" has been sneaking around the San Francisco Bay Area visiting neighbors even though it has a bowl of food at home waiting for her. Redditor goldenstate30 posted a note they say was attached to their kitty's collar one day when she wandered in from the fog. Apparently, she's been nursing a couple in need, immersed in their own cat-loss grief:

The note reads:

I don’t know who this cat belongs to, but she comes and visits us every few weeks. She’ll meow outside our backdoor until we let her in; she wounds[sic] herself around our legs, walks around the house like its hers; waits at the fridge until my husband and I feed her bologna. She doesn’t like soft cat food very much! We look forward to her visits. We lost our 21 year old cat this year.

Cat emoji. Hopefully, goldenstate30 and whoever these people are will start passing notes back and forth, cat carrier style. After their post blew up, goldenstate30 posted this follow-up with a picture of the baloney loving kitteh:

Nala's got a little ginger mustache. <3 <3 <3

Article 16


Watch a flying ice sheet destroy this car's windshield, and you'll never want to drive again.

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Jeffrey Cote was driving down the highway when an ice sheet flew off the roof of a car in front of him, crushed his windshield, and got him over 1.1 million views on YouTube. Harnessing the magic of physics, this seemingly-innocent thin piece of ice went straight for the jugular, turning the windshield into a million little pieces, and reminding us that ice is one of the most destructive forces nature has to offer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mmWv6pgBQg

Here it is in GIF form in case you find the soundtrack of ISIS news distracting:

Here it is again if you weren't sufficiently scared:

 

One more time:

Artists create gorgeous, huge 'Frozen'-style castle for Chinese ice sculpture festival.

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For the 32nd Harbin International Ice and Snow Festival, which begins Dec. 5 in China's Heilongjiang province, artists created 750,000-square meter buildings out of ice that were inspired by Chinese fairy tales. The end result is basically like that ice castle from Frozencome to life (though thankfully, none of the sculptures are of that annoying snowman).

https://www.facebook.com/TheStraitsTimes/photos/pcb.10153202982782115/10153202982597115/?type=3&theater

Artists began working on the impressive sculptures in late November for the festival, which runs through February 5.

https://www.facebook.com/TheStraitsTimes/photos/pcb.10153202982782115/10153202982657115/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/TheStraitsTimes/photos/pcb.10153202982782115/10153202982592115/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/TheStraitsTimes/photos/pcb.10153202982782115/10153202982582115/?type=3&theater

Ballet company destroys FB commenter who said the Eagles play like they're 'wearing tutus.'

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An anonymous commenter got their (digital) ass kicked by some very well-toned dancer legs last Wednesday, when whoever runs the Pennsylvania Ballet's Facebook page decided enough was enough when it comes to insulting comparisons between ballerinas and football players. They're sick of people comparing them to the Eagles as an insult to the Eagles! They work way harder than the Eagles (plus, football players have taken ballet classes for decades as a way of improving balance and body awareness, but whatever). They posted this viral response, outlining the hard work it takes to stand on your toes for two hours with a smile on your face:

https://www.facebook.com/pennsylvaniaballet/photos/a.106944370381.96755.101118735381/10153297210780382/?type=3&theater

They wrote:

A Facebook user recently commented that the Eagles had "played like they were wearing tutus!!!"

Our response:

"With all due respect to the Eagles, let's take a minute to look at what our tutu wearing women have done this month: 

By tomorrow afternoon, the ballerinas that wear tutus at Pennsylvania Ballet will have performed The Nutcracker 27 times in 21 days. Some of those women have performed the Snow scene and the Waltz of the Flowers without an understudy or second cast. No 'second string' to come in and spell them when they needed a break. When they have been sick they have come to the theater, put on make up and costume, smiled and performed. When they have felt an injury in the middle of a show there have been no injury timeouts. They have kept smiling, finished their job, bowed, left the stage, and then dealt with what hurts. Some of these tutu wearers have been tossed into a new position with only a moments notice. That's like a cornerback being told at halftime that they're going to play wide receiver for the second half, but they need to make sure that no one can tell they've never played wide receiver before. They have done all of this with such artistry and grace that audience after audience has clapped and cheered (no Boo Birds at the Academy) and the Philadelphia Inquirer has said this production looks "better than ever". 

So no, the Eagles have not played like they were wearing tutus. If they had, Chip Kelly would still be a head coach and we'd all be looking forward to the playoffs."

Happy New Year!

Yikes! Looks like the Eagles caught a fair share of fire, too. That's why these dancers' show is called The Nutcracker. (Also, the Eagles have had a terrible season.)

Young sports fan who ate an entire watermelon in the stands becomes Internet sensation.

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Dubbed "Watermelon boy" by the Twittersphere, young Mitchell Shibecki became the first Internet star of 2016 after he was caught eating an entire watermelon, rind and all, on the Jumbotron at Saturday's Women's Big Bash cricket match. That took place in Australia, although even if it wasn't a women's cricket match, you already know that someone going viral for eating large amounts of fresh fruit at a professional sports game is not a story that originated in America.

https://twitter.com/empresstudio/status/684071069414748161

Why the rind though? Was it a punishment, like when your Dad caught you with a cigarette as a tween so he made you smoke the entire pack? It puzzled and fascinated everyone watching the match, and soon enough Twitter went bananas for this watermelon boy.

https://twitter.com/InfinityTimesMe/status/683216473125330944https://twitter.com/Shaun21873383/status/683151027508412416https://twitter.com/OiSimmo/status/683193961414955009https://twitter.com/ScubaStv/status/683162359884427264https://twitter.com/leaseM_87/status/683150407653183489

His father, a radio station reporter in Melbourne, tweeted #watermelonboy's last bite, and the world rejoiced at his success. 

https://twitter.com/theschibecsta/status/683234334241767424

But, as we've seen time and again, fame has a dark side. Shibecki later admitted on The Today Show that it was all a scheme to get noticed. BECAUSE NOTHING IS REAL!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejuJXwRk6ks

Never meet your heroes, folks. Or eat fruit.

A man in Idaho is making art out of back hair. Yes, back hair.

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A man in Idaho shaves his back hair to create pictures, joining the age-old tradition of turning insecurity into art.Michael Wolfe has had back hair since high school, and he's been anxious about it for decades. In fact, he made a point of confessing his condition to his wife on their first date, giving her the opportunity to run if she couldn't cope with the nature of his condition.

The blank canvas.

Working with his college friend Tyler Harding, a former graphic artist, the conveniently named Wolfe has his back hair shaved into pictures. Together they created Calendhair, a calendar of twelve hairy masterpieces with the money going to cha-hair-ity. 

"Pssh, it's manhandling back hair," Wolfe said to Idaho's KTVB,"It's disgusting. But it's funny. You can't deny it's funny."

He started tweeting out the pictures in the fall trying to get on TV. Hopefully being featured on this awesome site is a good consolation prize.

JanuHAIRy:

https://twitter.com/fmrajigon/status/683874978517794820

FebruHAIRy:

https://twitter.com/calendHAIR/status/653069693725491200

July...HAIR?

https://twitter.com/calendHAIR/status/653071155696275457

DecembHAIR:

https://twitter.com/kjellstrom/status/683615092349513728

A hairy portrait of Jimmy Fallon:

https://twitter.com/SarahJWolfe/status/682043942179741696

The whole, hairy experience:

https://twitter.com/SarahJWolfe/status/682048802157559808
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