Before Prime Minister Justin Trudeau got Americans into Canadian politics, there was Rob Ford, the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto who brought international attention and pride to the the north. After taking a leave from public life to tend to his health issues, including rehab, Ford is back engaging with fans and Torontonians on Twitter. Perhaps to keep his hands busy so he doesn't reach for the pipe, Ford has been responding to almost all questions directed at him.
With his unique stature and insult-slinging ability, he truly is the Canadian Trump.
His ongoing Twitter Q&A has covered a lot of important topics. Here are the highlights so far:
Happy birthday, Nicolas Cage! The Internet's favorite actor, secret Coppola relative and punchline (sorry, Chuck Norris), turns 52 today, January 7. To celebrate, here's the story of his final resting place. Don't worry, he's still alive.
Cage's tomb is in New Orleans, in the historic St. Louis Cemetery #1. (Yes, the cemetery is named St. Louis, but it's in New Orleans.) Dating from 1789, St. Louis #1 is the oldest surviving cemetery in the Big Easy, filled with beautiful above-ground marble tombs containing generations of the city's oldest families, as well as mayors, war heroes, musicians, at least one voodoo queen, and other beloved locals. Plus, someday, Nic Cage. I snapped some pictures of the cemetery on a recent vacation to the city.
https://www.instagram.com/p/9Ey0wTLZNC/
As a tour guide explained to my delight, Cage bought his tomb in 2010, paying a rumored $8 million, most of that to the families whose plots he displaced. (Nicholas Cage is, on an unrelated note, not good with money.) After bulldozing those historic structures, he put up a massive 9-foot-tall pyramid to house his bones and immortal hairline once his mortal body is no more.
The tomb doesn't have his name on it (he's modest like that), just a Latin inscription: "Omnia ab uno," which translates to "All from one." That quote, as well as the pyramid symbol, are references to Cage's movie National Treasure.
That's right. This guy built himself a multimillion dollar monument based on a movie he had acted in three years before. That may seems ludicrously egotistical, but remember this: it's an awesome movie. It even contains the greatest line in film history:
https://youtu.be/he2jDZkzgiM?t=1m13s
Epic, no doubt. Clearly this man has a great love of American history. But does that justify bulldozing part of a historic American location almost as old as the Revolution just to make it your own? Ultimately, our opinions don't matter. Only one person is fit to cast judgment on him: Ghost Rider.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL9kV98kjFY
Note that the burial plot is only one aspect of Cage's fascination with New Orleans and the macabre. He previously owned a lot more property in the city, including its most famous haunted house, the LaLaurie Mansion. Cage owned that house (which was the basis for American Horror Story: Coven) until 2009, when it was seized by the IRS. Nicholas Cage is, again, bad with money.
https://www.instagram.com/p/_RnFxkhNxK/
Legend has it that the tormented spirits in the mansion will find a way to force out any owner of the house who they dislike, so maybe they somehow possessed Cage and made him irresponsible with money and convinced him not to pay his taxes. Or he just has poor foresight, unlike his character in Next:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us54vk5--jM
This man is the true national treasure. As far as I'm concerned, he can bury himself wherever he wants.
Despite the believability of the Star Wars films, it turns out that Chewbacca is not a real creature, and he's actually played by a human in a costume. For years, Peter Mayhew laid sole claim to the role of Chewie.
But for the latest film, the 71-year-old actor, who stands tall at 7'3", had help from a Finnish guy named Joonas Suotamo. As luck would have it, Suotama is really tall, and really good-looking.
Eitam Lachover is an Israeli reporter who clearly drew the short straw when he was given the "get not stabbed" beat then actually got stabbed, as this video from the BBC shows. Amid higher-than-usual alarm in the country over terrorism and attacks on the West Bank, Lachover on Wednesday filmed this segment about a magical vest that promised to prevent stabbings. The company's vice president, Yaniv Montakyo, takes out a big steel knife and proceeds to ruin his business by loudly puncturing the vest on the third strike. He also punctured Lachover. Mantov can be heard saying he "missed" (which would have been better) before asking the stoic Lachover if he is ok. Then they cut back to the rest of the program. Haha, cut back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj6Kga8LMCg
Lachover is fine, and eventually tweeted, "Superficial stab wounds, had some stitches and was released back home. Many thanks to everyone for your concern!"
He definitely took that knife like a boss, so even if Montakyo's reputation is ruined, Lachover's is now rock solid. You could argue that Lachover would have been stabbed more (one can always be stabbed more) without the vest, but he probably also would have been stabbed harder by a professional stabber. In any case, you'll probably want to go with armor that doesn't disguise itself as a sorority girl's North Face vest.
Beautiful footage of a snowy owl was captured by a traffic camera in Montreal, Quebec earlier this week. It's pretty badass to see a majestic wild owl swoop in for a landing, especially since so much of the footage we see of owls tends to be when they're in captivity, dancing to the "The Monster Mash" at Halloween or upstaging a bride during her wedding. Barbara Frei, the director of the McGill Bird Observatory, explained why the owl was close to a highway:
I think they are attracted specifically to the highway because it has open, grassy fields nearby which is perfect for hunting their favorite prey, which is small rodents.
Sometimes owls have to pull over and stop during long a long highway journey, just like humans. But rather than eating fast food, they go for the free-range option instead.
The secret's out—those sneaky spies from The Americans are expecting! Yup, Keri Russell and co-star Matthew Rhys are having a baby together on American soil right under our very noses. According to an insider (not the baby, though), Kerri is already more than four months along.
Felicity star Russell, 39, has two children from a previous marriage to Shane Deary, whom she divorced in 2014, son River, 8, and daughter Willa, 4. This is her first child with the 41-year-old Welsh actor Rhys, and his first overall.
Russell and Rhys, who play a married pair of Russian spies on the FX show, have been together publicly since 2014, and their chemistry is apparently as hot (and full of patiently-built developments) on screen as it is off.
Singer and emotional puppet-master Adele took to Instagram yesterday to prove she knows what it feels like to be one week into 2016 with a New Year's resolution that's harder to hold on to than an eel with commitment issues. Of course she understands your pain.She knew how it felt when your ex got married, didn't she?The "Hello" singer posted the most lovable gym pic in history, perfectly summing up how many people are feeling right about now. Stay strong Adele, the world needs you to keep pumpin' out tunes for us to rage cry to!
Whether they're meant to be funny, succinct, or just insulting to the Cleveland Browns, obituaries are usually pretty honest. But one recent obituary, published in The News & Observer on January 7, went beyond honest. The obituary for 94-year-old Wilma Marie Voliva Black didn't just lift the veil off of her life—it lifted the veil and then shined 5,000-Watt klieg lights on the starkness that remained. And oh boy, was it stark. Like, Cormac McCarthy stark. (If Cormac McCarthy ever wrote about women.)
You might think, "Hey, maybe the obituary at least starts softly and eases into the darkness." Hell no it doesn't:
Wilma Marie Voliva Black struggled into life over 94 years ago. Alone, Eva realized that her sixth child wasn't crying and unwrapped the umbilical cord from her only daughter's neck on December 11, 1921.
The obituary goes on to detail Black's difficult childhood during the depression, the discovery that her husband only married her to hide an affair, and her eventual move into assisted living. The single quote from Black in the piece is this, which she said to one of her sons about her time in the assisted living facility: "This is not living, it's existing."
Mere minutes before the time this article was finished, the obituary disappeared from Legacy.com for reasons that are unclear. But part of it is available here, and another section here:
While the story of Black's life is heartbreaking, there's also something really gorgeous about the obituary in its bleakness; it's the embodiment of Bauhaus architecture or a Lars von Trier film. And while she may not know it (assuming her ghost isn't checking the Internet right now), Wilma Black gave us that dark and beautiful gift.
Being doomed like Sisyphus to repeat the same task for all eternity is actually a pretty good description of taking out the trash as it is, but doubly so for this hapless soul whose street was completely iced over. The cars, houses, and accents (to be fair, they're mostly just giggling) of the people filming the poor soul all suggest this incident occurred in Britain, which has been plunged into Arctic temperatures for the past few days. The video is shot vertically, but given the dimensions of the window they're filming through, that may have been the best option. Long story short, this man is having a bad day and you're about to giggle like a British couple enjoying someone else's misfortunes:
Beyoncé made a surprise appearance during Channing Tatum's lip sync to "Run the World (Girls)," and you better make sure you're ready for this jelly, it is Irreplaceable.
Channing and Jenna Dewan-Tatum took over Lip Sync Battle on Thursday night, which is a creative way to solve any domestic disputes. Jenna paid tribute to her husband's iconic performance of Genuwine's "Pony" from Magic Mike XXL, and it was magical, complete with a painted-on six pack and a husband-and-wife lap dance. Channing knew that to one-up her impression he needed to pull out all the stops, so enlisted the help of Queen Bey herself.
Warning: This will make you want to get up and dance along. Go for it.
It's pretty much the norm that when women hit menopause, they're done carrying babies. Texas resident Tracey Thompson is an unusual exception. The 53-year-old mother of two, who was post-menopausal for seven years, recently gave birth to her daughter's child.
Thompson's 28-year-old daughter Kelley McKissack had undergone IVF and suffered three miscarriages. While McKissack's last round of treatment failed and resulted in a miscarriage on Christmas in 2014 (heartbreaking), she had a few fertilized embryos. Thompson willingly stepped up and offered to carry the embryos for McKissack and her husband Aaron. Doing so required Thompson to reverse her menopausal state.
On January 6, Thompson successfully gave birth to little Kelcey.
"It is such a blessing that I can do this for my daughter," Thompson said in a press release from The Medical Center of Plano, where she gave birth. Now every year on her birthday Kelcey can hear the slightly confusing, mostly awesome story of how she came to be.
It's cold season, so you're likely gargling to keep your throat healthy or feeling that tickle in your esophagus more than ever before. This winter, it's time to pay tribute to one of the human body's most underrated organs: the surprisingly majestic uvula. Stay healthy this season by giving it the attention it deserves.
As Slow Mo Guy Gavin says, "It looks like a second tongue going ape."
Actress Alyssa Milano has become something of an advocate for breastfeeding moms who don't want to hide their baby with a camo blanket when they're eating. When her Instagram photos brought out the haters, Milano found she enjoyed taking a stand on the issue. She also makes breastfeeding look super glam:
https://www.instagram.com/p/_xlYkrPJKC/
On Wednesday, she visited Wendy Williams and talked about clothes, losing weight and the final subject in the trifecta for famous moms, breastfeeding. That's when Wendy Williams straight up told her she does not want to see it. Williams tells Milano that she should go to her car to feed, calls breasts "funbags" and admits that she's fine with Miley Cyrus showing the side boob, but only because it's sexual. The awkwardness all starts at about minute 4:
Like most people who are anti-public breastfeeding, Williams' main objection is that it makes her uncomfortable, but she can't quite justify why. Williams is a mom herself, and says she tried breastfeeding for 2 weeks with one of her kids, but he was "too ravenous." Maybe seeing women breastfeed gives her flashbacks? People are, of course, upset:
Snapchat: It's not just for unsolicited dick pics anymore! The popular messaging service is also a great way to make dumb visual puns and wordplay jokes. It's like Twitter, with pictures. Or Instagram, with words!
Look at this baby deer jump around in this puddle. Looooook. Baby deer! Have you ever seen anything cuter? No, you haven't, because this is the CUTEST thing ever. The only thing way this could be any cuter would be if the deer put on some little deer galoshes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67kP_Oh_T50
Except HOLD ON because what's this? Oh, just another little deer splashing around, this time with its Golden Retriever buddy.
If you're debating whether or not to pile on a few more pizza toppings next time you grab a pie, go for it. It won't be the death of you. The pizza box will be, but fortunately not for long.
A number of groups, including the Center for Food Safety and the Breast Cancer Fund, have filed a joint petition to the FDA "proposing that we amend our food additive regulation to no longer provide for the use of three specific perfluoroalkyl ethyl containing food-contact substances (FCSs) as oil and water repellants for paper and paperboard for use in contact with aqueous and fatty foods."
Translation: there's this chemical called perfluoroalkyl ethyl that's used in pizza boxes, and other food packaging, in order to prevent oil and water from seeping everywhere. Perfluoroalkyl ethyl can leech into food, and then it hangs out in your body and raises your risk of cancer.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BAOcbiCJ4dS/
This has been known for some time, but the FDA is finally taking steps to do something about it. In response to the Center for Food Safety's petition, the FDA announced a ban on January 4 of the three substances in food packaging that contain perfluoroalkyl ethyl.
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA or we) is amending the food additive regulations to no longer provide for the use of three specific perfluoroalkyl ethyl containing food-contact substances (FCSs) as oil and water repellants for paper and paperboard for use in contact with aqueous and fatty foods because new data are available as to the toxicity of substances structurally similar to these compounds that demonstrate there is no longer a reasonable certainty of no harm from the food-contact use of these FCSs.
What this means is that in about a month, when the ban goes into effect, delivery food will probably be even greasier. That is, until a replacement additive can be found.