Just remember a first date is also your first opportunity to mess up a relationship forever.
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This Valentine's Day, make me scream as if I was seeing The Beatles 50 years ago.
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23 Hilarious Ways To Tell Your Valentine You're Too Cheap To Buy Them A Gift
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This Valentine's Day, my heart will be more open than Bob Costas' left eye.
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Solving my problems by drinking is much less sad when my friends join me.
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I hope you score more impressively than Ashley Wagner this Valentine's Day.
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They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart.
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I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
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Here's hoping snowstorm preparation is the only reason you need fresh batteries this Valentine's Day.
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Let's watch some halfpipe this week before moving on to the full pipe this Valentine's Day.
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I look forward to an intimate Valentine's Day with my ex's Facebook page.
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This Valentine's Day, I intend to spend as much time on my back as an Olympian qualifying for the luge.
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17 Hilariously Sad Things Everyone Who's Single On Valentine's Will Say
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send a vday card 2 ur frend ur def not into from Bobby Bottleservice #KrollShow #ComedyCentral.
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Congratulations on winning as many medals at the Sochi Olympics as Shaun White.
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It's too bad Shaun White made the mistake of only skipping one snowboarding event at Sochi.
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Let's have sex before dinner to reduce the likelikhood that I accidentally fart on you in bed.
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Love Coupon: Good for me going down as many times as Shaun White at Sochi.
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The tape-delayed Olympic coverage has inspired me to wish you a happy belated birthday.
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Chivalry is deleting all evidence of your ex on Facebook.
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