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Article 22


A female photographer has elevated dick pics to an art form.

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Soraya Doolbaz is an Iranian-Canadian photographer based in New York, whose gallery focuses exclusively on photographs of penises (link SFW, no worries). The New York Postrecently produced a video that focuses on the photoshoot, from the undressing, to the "fluffing," to the costuming.

Soraya in action. Squint or you'll miss it?

"My project is called Dicture Gallery and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Dick Pictures," she writes on her website, "But these aren’t just your regular dick pics. These are dick pics with a twist! It’s an artistic take on an otherwise alluring modern dating tactic."

The twist? Doolbaz uses doll costumes to dress up the penises as characters like "Dicki Minaj" and "Benito Mussoweenie." As for her inspiration, she once stumbled upon dolls at Walmart, and, "I put two and two together and thought that I could make a personality out of penises."

The costume shop.
Mussoweenie's jacket.

Doolbaz uses models for her masterpieces, and requests that they arrive with a partner. As she told Cosmopolitan, "[i]t's necessary for the model to have a partner to assist with the shoot to help with costume changes and, of course, erection maintenance."

It's now a full-blown (hehe) business with an app, and she displayed her pics at Art Basel, where prints sold for $10,000 each. 

"It's surprising and very delightful that people like dick on things," she told the Post. Who would have thought?

The video is quite cockamamie, and of course, quite NSFW.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4zUauDluP8

People keep sharing this dumb post about poverty and Powerball, but the math doesn’t add up.

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On Sunday, a musician in Arkansas posted an image to their very popular Facebook page, and it quickly gained a memetic life of its own. The image contains some well-meaning but very bad math about the Powerball lottery, which is currently valued at $1.4 billion. The original drawing has been shared over a million times on Facebook, and who knows how many more times on Twitter and other networks.

https://www.facebook.com/Livesosa/photos/a.382473485681.164111.92833735681/10153842869785682/?type=3&theater

It says:

Powerball 1.3 Billion/ U.S. Pop 300 Million = Everyone receives 4.33 mil

Poverty Solved! - Philipe Andolini

Sorry, Philipe Andolini, whoever you are. Poverty is actually not solved. By that math, every person in America would have $4.33, not $4,330,00.00. People everywhere were quick to point that out:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAadkGPgdLo/https://www.instagram.com/p/BAacgbIrThm/https://twitter.com/slackmistress/status/686659053972406273?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/KasperShow/status/686657865025589248?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/BlueSeatBlogs/status/686689123508293632?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

But Livesosa don't care. Their post keeps getting them more and more press. For them, the math clearly says "keep this baby up." They also call the creator of the meme a lady, though Philipe is traditionally a man's name. Livesosa does not sweat the details, obviously. 

Americans: always proud to be wrong as hell.

Article 19

Family dog attempts cartwheel like little girl, and it goes about as well as it can.

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Oakland is a rescue dog that tried very hard to imitate a cartwheel. The dog watched, tail in full wagging mode, as 4-year-old Kailyn did a few effortless cartwheels. Instead of merely running along, Oakland decided to give the cartwheel a try, and did it with about the same accuracy as a human's first try. Oakland has acrobatic ability that nearly rivals this pug that can pee while doing a handstand

https://youtu.be/IP-1L48-pfg

What a clever way to tire out both the kid and the dog: whenever they get too energetic or rowdy, just send them off to do cartwheels. If Kailyn graduates to handsprings or backflips, Oakland is going to have a lot of training to do.

Teacher writes heartfelt open letter to Detroit politician who attacked a protest by educators.

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Pam Namyslowski is a teacher in the Detroit public school system who posted a letter on Friday, January 8th to a man named Darnell Early. Early is the city's emergency manager for the school system, and there is certainly an emergency right now. There are currently 24 schools closed due to teacher "sick out" protests. Teachers believe the conditions of Detroit's public schools are atrocious. Early disagrees, and held a press conference in which he said:

This irresponsible strike is damaging the young minds of DPS students, impairing their ability to learn for life, and making them more susceptible to crime and poverty. The people responsible for this strike should be fired and put in jail.

Teachers responded by calling Early a heinous hypocrite, seeing as he is one of several people being held responsible in a lawsuit over the use of untreated water from the Flint River that resulted in lead poisoning for many families and their children in Michigan. Many teachers are clamoring to be heard, but Namyslowski's words broke through after she took wrote Early this scorching open letter of condemnation on Facebook, which has quickly gone viral:

https://www.facebook.com/pam.namyslowski/posts/10208753433852289

She starts out with reminding him that Detroit schools were in rough shape before the strike. Where was he then? Here's the full text:

Mr. Earley,
I have been a teacher in Detroit Public Schools for 24 years. I feel the need to respond to some of the comments you made during your press conference this week. You described the actions of protesting teachers as “unethical”. I’m curious, then, how you would characterize the learning conditions of the children of Detroit Public Schools that have existed for years.

She continues by getting into some of the uncomfortable, inappropriate and downright dangerous conditions the schools are often in:

Students who travel to and from school pass numerous abandoned, dangerous buildings and have been robbed, assaulted, and raped. Teachers have been victims of violent crimes and have had their vehicles and personal property damaged and/or stolen, sometimes repeatedly. They suffer verbal abuse and some have been assaulted by angry students or parents. Many schools have numerous plumbing problems in the lavatories, drinking fountains, and sinks. Many outdated school buildings are crumbling - roofs, floors, windows, doors, and locks that are broken or in desperate need of repair. Far too many classrooms are overcrowded, creating conditions that are not even safe, let alone conducive to learning. I'm wondering where the concern and outrage over that has been?

Namyslowski also talks about the sacrifices teachers have already made, including taking a 10% pay cut. Many are worried about losing their pensions and jobs entirely. Then she gets back to reminding him of what it's like to be in the classroom of an underfunded system:

We are on the front line, working side by side with them every day, trying our best to overcome numerous obstacles. In the winter, we often work with them in freezing rooms with our coats on. In the summertime , we survive with them in stifling heat and humidity in temperatures that no one should have to work in. We wipe their tears and listen when they are upset. We send food home with them. We encourage them to persevere and to be hopeful about their futures. We celebrate their successes. We comfort them when they experience loss and tragedy. We give up time with our own children to support our students, who we also consider our children. We spend our own money to buy not only learning materials, but things such as uniforms, hand soap, sanitizer, and Kleenex.

She also responds to Early's allegations that the teachers' protests ignore the kids' voices in all this. Namyslowski thinks politicians are only interested in taking temporary advantage of this situation to give themselves a platform, and ultimately ignore the voices of people involved. She believes it's detrimental for schools to be run as businesses, and that includes measuring results with mandatory testing:

Educational decisions are now being made by politicians. Schools are being run like businesses. We have been vilified by these politicians. We have been made accountable for things we have little or no control over. We have been forced to administer numerous developmentally inappropriate tests to our students and then we and our students are judged by the meaningless scores. We have watched the debt increase to ridiculous, unsustainable levels under state appointed emergency managers, while the conditions we teach in have deteriorated alarmingly. We have been set up to fail in every way...The recent action of teachers is not an attempt to drown out the voices of the students. It is an attempt to finally make their voices heard.

Sincerely,
Pam Namyslowski
4th Grade Teacher
Mann Elementary School

It's rough right now for students and teachers in Detroit. Hopefully, the passion of teachers like Namyslowski and the power of viral social media content will save the day.

'Walking Dead' actor masters art of 5-second impressions of celebrities in weird situations.

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Ross Marquand's tiny vignettes of A-list celebrities in common-but-awkward situations (like Matthew McConaughey applying the five-second rule) is hilarious and mesmerizing enough that you can forgive Vanity Fair for giving this new video a that-will-never-become-a-phrase title like "Nano-Impressions." It's hard enough to do a good impression, but to communicate all those idiosyncrasies in just a few seconds undoubtedly takes years of practice—and Marquand has been doing impressions online for the past four years. Marquand also stars on The Walking Dead* as Aaron, so maybe one day people will upload impressions of him. One thing's for certain, this will make you want to see Harrison Ford sneeze.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFXTxQPV79w

Here's a 2011 video from Marquand that was his first to go viral and launch him on this path:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKI5tZQeovw

*Editor's Note: I maaaay have completely failed to recognize him at first. Thank you, cranky commenters.

13 quotes about the advantages of being single from beautiful, wise celebrities.

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Sometimes you need a reminder that not only is it not terrible being single, it can actually be pretty great. You never have to worry about someone else's moods, or TV preferences, or nighttime blanket stealing. You can do what you want and go where you please and enjoy your own life, and then if you do meet someone, you're already fulfilled, and the relationship is just the icing on top of cake you. And if you don't, no problem, you'll always have yourself, and you won't have to share your 2 a.m. drunk nachos with anyone else. Here's what some lady celebrities had to say about the joys and freedoms of being single. Even if they're not still single, their words remain relevant. 

1. Sandra Bullock 

"If [a relationship] should come along, great. But I feel like I'm not missing anything yet. Maybe one day I will. But my son is 3 years old, which is an amazing age. Four is an even better age. So if something happens, great, but if not, I've got plenty to do." 


2. Jennifer Lawrence 

​"Cheers to my hymen growing back!" 


3. Diane Keaton 

"I remember when I was young I honestly believed in some ridiculous way that you would find someone who would be the person you lived with until you died. I don't think that because I'm not married it's made my life any less. That old maid myth is garbage."


4. Gabourey Sidibe​

"I'm actually not sad. I like to make this joke that I'm, like, lonely, but I'm not. I'm alone but totally not lonely." 


5. Taylor Swift 

"I'm perpetually single. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I like to do things that glorify being alone. I buy a candle that smells pretty, turn down the lights, and make a playlist of low-key songs. If you don't act like you've been hit by the plague when you're alone on a Friday night, and just see it as a chance to have fun by yourself, it's not a bad day."


6. Shailene Woodley 

"I just haven’t met anyone where I was like, 'Wow I could definitely see myself spending a season of my life with you.' I don’t even know if humans are genetically made to be with one person forever." 


7. Rihanna 

"Guys need attention. They need that nourishment, that little stroke of the ego that gets them by every now and then. I'll give it to my family, I'll give it to my work—but I will not give it to a man right now."​ 


8. Khloe Kardashian 

"I think being single is really healthy for people. I think people who go into one relationship to another, I don't know if they have a healing process or know what went wrong or how to better themselves." ​


9. Dita Von Teese 

"I'm single and loving the freedom of being single and dating. It's an exciting time. I've been in a lot of big relationships and I haven't spent much time being single so I figured it's a great time to be free and be without commitment." 


10. Stevie Nicks 

"People say to you, ‘Well, what do you mean you don’t have a boyfriend? You don’t want to have one? You don’t want to be married?' And you’re like, ‘Well, no, I don’t, actually. I’m fine.’ And they find a lot of reasons why you’re not fine. But it just seems to be coming back. Being able to take care of myself is something that my mom really instilled in me. I can remember her always saying, ‘If nothing else, I will teach you to be independent.’ 


11. Eva Longoria 

"Some people said, 'Oh. You don't want to be alone.' And I said, 'I'm not alone! I'm with myself. And myself is fabulous.'" 


12. Sophia Bush

"I don't think you can really, truly be the partner you want to be until you know on an absolute level that you are a complete person on your own. I think that's something all women deserve to know. So many fairytales we read as children—and the love stories we watch on TV when we're older—tell us that we're not enough unless we have man. And it's like, 'No, homie! You can be a bonus when I have time for you in my life.'"


13. Gloria Steinem 

"We are becoming the men we wanted to marry." 


This mom knit a life-size version of her teen son, and it's all kinds of creepy.

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Marieke Voorsluijs is a self-proclaimed"textiles enthusiast" who runs the knitting store Club Geluk in Amsterdam. Voorsluijs is also a mother of two sons, one of which now has a life-size textile twin thanks to his mother's crafty skills.

https://www.facebook.com/clubgeluk/photos/pb.107560595963514.-2207520000.1452628711./1068034523249445/?type=3&theater

Voorsluijs​ wrote on Bored Panda that "[her] son is reaching puberty. We used to cuddle all the time, but those days are becoming scarce." This was the impetus behind the project. 

We laugh a lot about the stretching gap between his needs and mine. Him needing more of his own space and my covert needs to keep on smotering him with maternal love. I am a textiles designer and he often helps me and has great creative ideas. So we started to fantasize how we could visualize this puberty gap. So i suggested to make a cuddly version of him!​

No doubt he was overjoyed about his doppelgänger, which comes complete with an angsty sweater. And he can stand up perfectly straight, which is impressive for a teenager. 

https://www.facebook.com/clubgeluk/photos/pb.107560595963514.-2207520000.1452628711./1068034616582769/?type=3&theater

Voorsluijs added that she and her real son "had great fun making it," though her son wasn't involved in every step. "[D]uring the process i was able to cuddly with him without him even knowing it," she wrote.

Despite the goal of creating a son who is always down for cuddles, which could be construed as strange, the knit doll doesn't appear to be that happy posing with his mom.

https://www.facebook.com/clubgeluk/photos/pb.107560595963514.-2207520000.1452628711./1068034543249443/?type=3&theater

That face has "Don't touch me, Mom!" all over it, making it perhaps even more authentic than Voorsluijs intended.

https://www.facebook.com/clubgeluk/photos/pb.107560595963514.-2207520000.1452628711./1068034669916097/?type=3&theater

Seriously, this doll looks like a human wearing a mask. Knitting is supposed to be the hobby of coziness, not nightmare-inducing (albeit very impressive) dolls. 

Some poor guy got Sir Mix-a-Lot's old phone number. Now everyone thinks he likes big butts.

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When Seattle law student Jonathan Nichols got a new cell phone in 2012, he wasn't surprised to get a wrong number text. But the texts kept coming, along with calls, and the content of all of them followed a few themes: hip-hop, luxury cars, and women with big butts. If these sound familiar, you might be a 90s baby. They're the three primary interests of Sir Mix-a-Lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l32vqiRTGew

It turns out that Nichols's new number had previously belonged to the Seattle hip-hop legend, and a lot of people didn't know it had changed hands. Now, Nichols has told his story to The Seattle Times, and it's blowing up. As it turns out, people on the Internet still feel nostalgic about "Baby Got Back." Who knew?

Nichols didn't understand why he was getting calls for someone named Anthony Ray, or why he was getting texts of women popping their booties, until August 12th came around. All of a sudden, his phone exploded with happy birthday wishes. He finally did some investigative Googling, and found out that Sir Mix-a-Lot was originally known as Anthony Ray (before his knighthood), and his birthday is August 12th. Mix-stery solved.

Of course, Nichols's problems had only just begun. His anaconda didn't want none of this correspondence, and he couldn't lie. Head on over to The Times to read the full saga, including Mix's full reaction. Other than the interview, he's only had this to say on the matter:

https://twitter.com/therealmix/status/686965139539533824

He's always been a man of few words. Except where butts are concerned.

Just like El Chapo's drugs, El Chapo's shirt sells itself once people have gotten a taste.

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In the twist of a century, El Chapo's interview with Sean Penn and subsequent arrest have created a market for a brand new drug, possibly more addictive than any of his narcotics: El Chapo's sexy, stylish shirts.

Look familiar?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAWIK9JwfMa/?taken-by=barabas_men

According to TMZ, the shirt sure did look familiar one of their IT guys. He recognized it from an L.A. outlet called Barabas. When the tabloid contacted the store to investigate further, Barabas confirmed that "sales skyrocketed when the pics came out" of Sean Penn with the notorious drug kingpin, Joaquin 'El Chapo' Guzman, dressed in their sweet threads.

Since they're good at business, Barabas is now using the Chapo to advertise on their website and Instagram​

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAbBJepwfG7/?taken-by=barabas_men

Who wears it better?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAYxMItQfHU/

The answer, if El Chapo is asking, is El Chapo.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAWKnCcQfAn/

One of the shirts has apparently been re-named the "Barabas El Chapo Most Wanted 'Fantasy' Men's Button Down Shirt," and possibly re-priced as well: it costs $128 on Amazon.

You could be the first to review this item... if you're not afraid of El Chapo reading it.

As of press time, the Barabas website had recovered only moments earlier from a crash due, reportedly, to very traffic. Congratulations to Barabas and El Chapo on moving massive quantities of primo shirt.

Article 11

Syrian refugee whose story went viral on Humans of New York gets special invitation from Obama.

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Refaai Hamo is a Syrian refugee who recently resettled in Michigan. Three years ago, a missile struck his home and killed seven of his family members, including his wife and his daughter. He was working construction when the missile hit, which he did at nights to pay for college. With his other daughter and his son, Hamo moved to Turkey, where he was diagnosed with stomach cancer, but couldn't afford treatment.

Hamo's story of unimaginable hardship and resilience was shared on the popular photo blog Humans of New York, where it inspired thousands, including President Obama. POTUS even left a comment on the Facebook post.

As a husband and father, I cannot even begin to imagine the loss you've endured. You and your family are an inspiration. I know the great people of Michigan will embrace you with the compassion and support you deserve. Yes, you can still make a difference in the world, and we're proud that you'll pursue your dreams here. Welcome to your new home. You're part of what makes America great.

To honor what Hamor went through, and his future contributions to America, the Obamas invited Hamo to the State of the Union address. Here is the heartbreaking story that moved Obama, as well as hundreds of thousands of Facebookers.

https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1143978592342906/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1144059745668124/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1144104555663643/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1144154362325329/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1144230675651031/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1144291998978232/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/pb.102099916530784.-2207520000.1452631520./1144337492307016/?type=3&theater

Comedians posing as Trump supporters heckle The Donald and fool the news media.

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Guerrilla comedy duo The Good Liars went to a Trump rally in New Hampshire yesterday with one mission—to heckle America's potential future president. Jason Selvig and Davram Stiefler, dressed as supporters, yelled out that Trump was boring and should tell some jokes. As you can imagine, The Donald was not a fan of their tomfoolery, and promptly had them booted from the premises.

All of the major news outlets picked up the story and reported it as legit, such as in this Vine from CNN Politics, so it looks like they got pranked, too. What a bunch of suckers!

https://vine.co/v/iMiMKWYL9Ia

Here's the video from The Good Liars:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDML9Cfuw-0

The pranksters have not yet responded to a request for comment by Someecards, presumably because they're super busy picking up the pieces of their lives after being looked at like this by Trump:

https://twitter.com/ToddDracula/status/686971841798225920

Ouch. That hurts.

You can blame your allergies on your ancestors having sex with Neanderthals.

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About 40,000 years ago, when humans roamed Earth alongside Neanderthals and Denisovans (another now-extinct species), there was some inter-species breeding going on between these three species that influenced Homo sapiens sapiens as they exist today.

To this day, people whose family history extends beyond Africa have between 1-6% DNA overlap with Neanderthals or Denisovans. Twostudies published in the American Journal of Human Genetics show that these other species in the Homo genus gifted humans with three genes related to the immune system. These genes, researcher Janet Kelso told NPR, provide humans' "very early immune response."  

Easy to see what humans saw in Neanderthals.

It's nice that humans picked up some genetic tips from Neanderthals and Denisovans on how to survive when they swapped DNA. But these shared genes also triggered a greater chance in humans of treating pollen, pet hair, and other mundane things as threatening forces. "So I suppose that some of us can then blame Neanderthals for our susceptibility to common allergies like a hay fever," Kelso said. ​

Staring longingly at a Homo sapiens sapiens.

While they aren't quite the direct cause of irritating sneezing and itchy eyes, Neanderthals aren't around to defend themselves anymore, so they make ideal scapegoats. 


James Franco has requested to paint you. Please, won't you let him paint you?

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James Franco is holding a contest in which the winnergets to fly out to meet the actor and get their portrait painted by him. After all, Franco is a man who wears many hats: actor, writer, director, famously horrible Oscar host, Lana Del Rey biographer, and now... artist. 

https://www.facebook.com/JamesFranco/photos/a.337351556310065.85477.178604288851460/1115121215199758/?type=3&theater

To enter for a chance to win, you'll just have to make a donation to the the anti-AIDS organization, (RED). Hopefully, when you win, Franco won't paint you as naked as he did Seth Rogen. Unless that's what you want—in which case go crazy...like, James Franco crazy.

CNN, being funny on purpose, turned the State of the Union into a Wes Anderson film.

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CNN's attempt to get you all hopped up for Obama's last State of the Union address tonight has culminated in this video presenting it as a Wes Anderson film. It's not exactly Jock Jams in terms of mass appeal, but hey, know your audience, right? This symmetrically balanced, quirky, indie-folk-soundtracked video is straight out of The Royal Tenenbaums director's​playbook. Even if you're not that into political speeches, it might be worth tuning into just to see what kind of shenanigans Uncle Joe (Joe Biden) gets into. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2nP-hci-AQ

The State of the Union will air tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern on most major TV networks, online at whitehouse.gov, and on the radio at NPR. 

Related: Wes Anderson's The Star Wars.

FOX released the first minute of the new 'X-Files' series for those who still want to believe.

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Do you want to believe that the new X-Files miniseries will be good? Well, FOX (the TV network, not Mulder) has released the first minute of the new series. And it's...well, it's a lot of photos from the original series with some voiceover from Mulder. And then some fire, because fire is cool. Or maybe the government just wants us to think fire is cool. Shit. Trust no one, guys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQWDUYiMw_I

Confession

The 5 best ways Presidents have ever completed the phrase "The State of the Union is—"

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Tonight, Barack Obama will give his final State of the Union address, but among all the words he wrote down with his left hand like a weirdo, the most important ones will come after the phrase "The State of the Union is." This incredibly important phrase is what Americans look forward to all year, and it's totally not forgotten within an hour of the speech. Remember what the word was in 1962? Of course you do. Everyone does. It was "whimsical." Here, selected from the totally-real, not-fictional-at-all annals of history, are the five most important words and phrases from the past century to ever sum it all up. 

"The State of the Union is..."

1. "...fine! I said it was fine. Why do you keep asking how the State of the Union is? It's fine. OK?! I'm going to my room!" - Jimmy Carter, 1978.

This famous (and now infamous) statement led concerned Americans to drop the matter of the economy and Iranian hostage situation for most of 1978. Several months later, a sobbing Jimmy Carter came back on TV in his pajamas to say "things are not fine, OK? I just wanted everyone to be happy." Sadly for Carter, the nation was more upset that Jimmy tried to hide the problem than they were about stagnant wages and declining American prestige.

2. "...the absolute tits." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1943.

The 40s were a different time, but there's a reason FDR was elected four times—pizzazz!

3. "...very good." - Gerald Ford, 1976.

Historians today think Gerald Ford will be remembered as a more competent, accomplished, and intelligent leader than the bumbling Chevy Chase impression on Saturday Night Live led millions to think. That time he forgot his State of the Union speech at home and ad-libbed the first five minutes until someone fetched it didn't help, though.

4. "...tumescent and throbbing with potential. Its swollen veins pumping creativity, quivering with the urgent need to unleash a torrent of prosperity onto the heaving bosom of the future." - Bill Clinton, 1995.

Although it outraged Republican opponents of thesauruses in public schools, Bill Clinton's vivid imagery of how the Internet was supercharging a rapidly-growing economy is widely credited with increasing turnout among women aged 30-65 who are fans of supermarket paperback novels—a notoriously hard-to-reach demographic.

5. "...Well? Anyone? None of you have any idea, do you?" - Barack Obama, 2010. 

Although Obama's final State of the Union is tonight, who can forget his uncomfortable 2010 address? After stating "The State of the Union is..." the former college professor looked over the room, frowned, and then spent an uncomfortable hour calling on the Representatives and Senators in the audience to see who had done the reading. Awkwardly, no one had. This led to friction with Supreme Court Justices, especially Antonin Scalia, because according to the Constitution, they're technically only auditing the State of the Union, and so shouldn't have to worry about being called on.

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