Everyone has a fantasy about making a dramatic "I quit" speech, but most people just resign from their jobs with the typical two-weeks notice (or they never resign and just stay miserable forever! That's also fun!). Not these people who recently shared their best quitting stories on Reddit. These people got to leave their jobs on a snarky, righteous, victorious high. Sure, they burned bridges. But isn't fire fun?

1. If this was your dad, you'd make a Reddit account just to share this.

2. This is what the movie Spotlight is about, right?

3. Next time you quit a job, maybe you should throw ham through the ceiling too.

4. This might actually be Bart Simpson.

5. Never mess with the IT guy.

6. At least he got something out of this situation.

7. Sometimes you don't even need to say anything to have a righteous exit.

8. And they call it "black gold."​

9. It helps to quit in pairs.

10. This one is kind of romantic?

11. Finally, a resignation from Redditor watwasthat that everyone who has ever worked in the service industry will admire.

Working in wings place just out of college as a cook. Start working there and everything is going ok except for the fact that I'm really underpaid. I was making minimum wage as 1 of 2 cooks in the restaurant. Work there for a few months and the manager sits down to talk with me. We discuss a few things and I bring up the fact that I really deserve a raise. I was working 50-60 hours a week and the compensation based on my effort really wasn't evening out. He basically told me to fuck off and that cooks are a dime a dozen. So I told him I was disappointed with his retort.

Times were tough for me at that time so I bit my lip and just went back to work. The next few months were hell. The manager of the restaurant would openly put me down in front of other employees and constantly berate me for asking for more money. He would put me on back to back to back opening and closing shifts and send people home on purpose so I would be the only one left to clean the kitchen at the end of the night. I was beginning to lose my chill with this job.

So finally super bowl Sunday rolls around and for those unaware, this is a very very busy day for restaurants that make wings. I get into work and everyone is already pissed. I ask what's up and they tell me the other cook didn't show up and nothing is prepped for the day. I roll up my sleeves and start working. We get everything set and I start making wings for the orders. I'm working my ass off and my manager comes up to me and starts giving me the same shit. The phones are ringing like crazy and honestly there are more orders than the restaurant can handle. It's fucking chaos. Then some of the managers friends (not employees) come into the kitchen and start fucking with all my stuff. Moving things, disorganizing stuff, sitting on my prep counters. I tell them to gtfo and my manager storms in and lays the fuck into me. Tells me I'm a worthless piece of shit, I never do anything right, I'm not worth more than minimum wage and I never fucking put in any extra effort.

That was it. My brained just clicked and I stopped giving a fuck about anything. I stood up straight and stretched out my arms wide. Slowly took off my kitchen apron and removed my hat. Starred dead in the managers eyes and calmly but sternly said. "Have an enjoyable super bowl Sunday." I threw the the apron and my hat in the fry oil basins grabbed my bag and walked passed the rest of the employees who's mouth were hanging open and out the back to the ever fading ring of phones ringing. Arrived at my home and met up with my room mates. I told them the story and we decided to order 200 wings and watch the game.

A mom from Indianapolis named Sarah Owen Bigler posted to Facebook on Tuesday about a cashier she encountered at Target. Usually, when people post about customer service at big chain stores, they're full of rage. In this case, Bigler wanted to share how the young cashier helping the elderly woman ahead of her taught her a lesson in patience when she wanted to tear her hair out.

She writes:

Yesterday Matt was sick. I picked up Archie from the sitter and Eloise from school and decided to run to Target for a few things. I had hoped to be in and out quickly.

I found a line with just one person ahead of me and began organizing my items on the conveyor. After placing my items, I look up to see that the person ahead of me was an elderly woman. She was paying for her items with change and wanted to purchase each separately. Part of me, the part that had a long day at work, the part of me who had a 1 1/2 year old having a melt down in the cart, the part that had set an unnecessary timeline for Target and getting home, was frustrated with this woman and the inconvenience she had placed on me.

BUT then I watched the young employee with this woman. I watched him help her count her change, ever so tenderly taking it from her shaking hands. I listened to him repeatedly saying "yes, mam" to her. When she asked if she had enough to buy a reusable bag, he told her she did and went two lines over to get one for her and then repackaged her items. Never once did this employee huff, gruff or roll his eyes. He was nothing but patient and kind.

As I was watching him, I saw that Eloise was too. She was standing next to the woman, watching the employee count the change. I realized I hadn't been inconvenienced at all. That my daughter was instead witnessing kindness and patience and being taught this valuable lesson by a complete stranger; furthermore, I realized that I too needed a refresher on this lesson.

When the woman was finished, the employee began ringing up my items and thanked me for my patience. I then thanked him for teaching us patience and kindness by his treatment of that elderly woman. And although my timeline for target was askew, when he was finished I pushed my cart through the store trying to find the manager. I wanted her to know of the employee's, kindness and patience, and how much it meant to me. After tracking her down and sharing the story with her, we left Target with a cart full of consumable items, but what is more a heart full of gratitude for such an invaluable lesson.

If you are ever in the Glendale Target, give Ishmael a smile and a nod. The world could use more people like him.

Ishmael may not know he's gone viral, but maybe when lots of people are smiling and nodding at him out of nowhere, he'll find out. Either that or think he's the star in his very own version of The Truman Show.

Recently, Miley Cyrus was spotted in the general vicinity of her ex-fiancé Liam Hemsworth, so people obviously started spreading rumors that the exes are now ex-exes. But TMZ reported this morning that there's legitimacy to the rumors, because Cyrus was just spotted wearing a ring that looks a whole heck of a lot like the engagement ring Hemsworth gave Cyrus back in 2012. 

As everyone knows, though, nothing is real until it's 'grammed. And Miley has 'grammed that ring:

And here she is wearing the ring again while peeing, because Miley Cyrus:

So, are the pair engaged again? Well, TMZ also reported this morning that Cyrus used a U-Haul to move some stuff into Hemsworth's house this weekend. So...yes? Either way, it seems like it's only a matter of time before Cyrus starts Instagramming photos of her and Hemsworth peeing together. Romantic.

If The Fifth Element taught humanity anything, it's that the future is full of wacky hair trends. And that means that the future is now, because the last year has been filled with a hot-and-fast run of hair coloring and styling fads. Just this morning we reported on the glow-in-the-dark hair trend, and it's already been unseated by something else: watercolor hair.

Watercolor hair might also just be unicorn hair under a different name:

But unicorn hair also appears to maybe just be another term for mermaid hair, which is another term for galaxy hair, and maybe words don't mean anything anymore. But hey, at least the watercolor hair how-to video above has this helpful diagram:

What will the next hair color trend be? Combining all shades of the rainbow so the hair turns out brown? That seems about right.

Duncan Jones, director of films such as Moon and the son of the late David Bowie, retweeted this letter from a palliative care doctor, Dr. Mark Taubert, which was posted by the Marie Curie cancer charity. The letter thanks Bowie for being an example for how to face the end. 

Although it took the public a few days to realize it, Bowie's final album, Blackstar, was his way of making peace with his cancer diagnosis. Dr. Taubert works in Cardiff in the UK helping terminal patients plan for the end of their lives, something that is not only difficult for patients, but for the doctors trying to talk to them. Here's what he wrote:

Oh no, don’t say it’s true – whilst realization of your death was sinking in during those grey, cold January days of 2016, many of us went on with our day jobs. At the beginning of that week I had a discussion with a hospital patient, facing the end of her life. We discussed your death and your music, and it got us talking about numerous weighty subjects, that are not always straightforward to discuss with someone facing their own demise. In fact, your story became a way for us to communicate very openly about death, something many doctors and nurses struggle to introduce as a topic of conversation. But before I delve further into the aforementioned exchange, I’d like to get a few other things off my chest, and I hope you don’t find them a saddening bore.

Taubert goes on to thank Bowie for a number of aspects of his life and career, but he focused on the ways Bowie dealt with death in his art and in his own end-of-life planning, which are an example to everyone:

Thank you for Lazarus and Blackstar. I am a palliative care doctor, and what you have done in the time surrounding your death has had a profound effect on me and many people I work with. Your album is strewn with references, hints and allusions. As always, you don’t make interpretation all that easy, but perhaps that isn’t the point. I have often heard how meticulous you were in your life. For me, the fact that your gentle death at home coincided so closely with the release of your album, with its good-bye message, in my mind is unlikely to be coincidence. All of this was carefully planned, to become a work of death art. The video of Lazarus is very deep and many of the scenes will mean different things to us all; for me it is about dealing with the past when you are faced with inevitable death.

Your death at home. Many people I talk to as part of my job think that death predominantly happens in hospitals, in very clinical settings, but I presume you chose home and planned this in some detail. This is one of our aims in palliative care, and your ability to achieve this may mean that others will see it as an option they would like fulfilled. The photos that emerged of you some days after your death, were said to be from the last weeks of your life. I do not know whether this is correct, but I am certain that many of us would like to carry off a sharp suit in the same way that you did in those photos. You looked great, as always, and it seemed in direct defiance of all the scary monsters that the last weeks of life can be associated with.

For your symptom control needs, you will presumably have had palliative care professionals advise on pain, nausea, vomiting, breathlessness, and I can imagine they did this well. I envisage that they also discussed any emotional anguish you may have had.

For your advance care planning (i.e. planning heath and care decisions prior to things getting worse and before becoming unable to express them), I am certain you will have had a lot of ideas, expectations, prior decisions and stipulations. These may have been set out clearly in writing, near your bed at home, so that everyone who met you was clear on what you wanted, regardless of your ability to communicate. It is an area not just palliative care professionals, but in fact all healthcare workers want to provide and improve, so that it is less likely that any sudden health incidents will automatically result in a blue-light ambulance emergency room admission. Especially when people become unable to speak for themselves.

And I doubt that anyone will have given you Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) in the last hours/days of your life, or even considered it. Regrettably, some patients who have not actively opted out of this treatment still receive it, by default. It involves physical, sometimes bone-breaking chest compressions, electric shocks, injections and insertion of airways and is only successful in 1-2% of patients whose cancer has spread to other organs in their body. It is very likely that you asked your medical team to issue you with a Do Not Attempt Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation order. I can only imagine what it must have been like to discuss this, but you were once again a hero, or a ‘Held’, even at this most challenging time of your life. And the professionals who saw you will have had good knowledge and skill in the provision of palliative and end-of-life care. Sadly, this essential part of training is not always available for junior healthcare professionals, including doctors and nurses, and is sometimes overlooked or under-prioritized by those who plan their education. I think if you were ever to return (as Lazarus did), you would be a firm advocate for good palliative care training being available everywhere.

Dr. Taubert concludes by bringing it back to how Bowie helped this woman with a terminal diagnosis communicate her desires for how she would like to die:

So back to the conversation I had with the lady who had recently received the news that she had advanced cancer that had spread, and that she would probably not live much longer than a year or so. She talked about you and loved your music, but for some reason was not impressed by your Ziggy Stardust outfit (she was not sure whether you were a boy or a girl). She too, had memories of places and events for which you provided an idiosyncratic soundtrack. And then we talked about a good death, the dying moments and what these typically look like. And we talked about palliative care and how it can help. She told me about her mother’s and her father’s death, and that she wanted to be at home when things progressed, not in a hospital or emergency room, but that she’d happily transfer to the local hospice should her symptoms be too challenging to treat at home.

We both wondered who may have been around you when you took your last breath and whether anyone was holding your hand. I believe this was an aspect of the vision she had of her own dying moments that was of utmost importance to her, and you gave her a way of expressing this most personal longing to me, a relative stranger.

You can read Dr. Taubert's entire letter to Bowie here. Like so much of what he did in his life, even in his passing David Bowie helped people be more comfortable being themselves all the way to the end. 

In an interview with Dr. Oz last week, Charlie Sheen revealed a bizarre incident in which an Australian doctor living in Mexico promising to cure the HIV-positive actor with alternative medicine injected himself with Sheen's blood. Prior to seeking Dr. Samir Chachoua's treatment, Sheen had reduced the level of the virus in his bloodstream to extremely low levels with traditional antivirals. However, the actor ceased traditional treatment to make himself "a sort of guinea pig." Dr. Chachoua's extremely risky demonstration of faith in his methods, however, shocked even the notoriously wild celebrity, who called the moment "inappropriate and completely mind-blowing." Sheen also cautioned other HIV patients about seeking alternative treatment.

Sadly (for everyone involved), Sheen noted that shortly before appearing on Dr. Oz's program, HIV had returned to his own bloodstream and he had resumed traditional anti-retroviral drugs. "I'm a little off my game because right before I walked out here, I got some results I was disappointed about," said Sheen. "I had been non-detectable, non-detectable and checking the blood every week and then found out the numbers are back up." The full interview is not available on YouTube, but here is a segment:

Again, Charlie Sheen made very clear that he was returning to traditional anti-retroviral drugs and did not endorse Dr. Chachoua, merely stating that he was willing to try something new himself. "I'm not recommending that anybody else do this." He said that at first, things seemed to be going well. "We did see some incredible results early on," but ultimately, "I did an experiment I didn't have any faith in but I went along with it."

Defenders of the doctor have since blamed Sheen, saying he must not have followed the treatment correctly. Sheen also told Dr. Oz that he's come to terms with the fact that he may be bipolar. "I've been described by that, I've been diagnosed as that," but took a lighter view of it, calling it "the genius disease."

Sheen revealed his diagnosis back in November, blaming the stress of the disease and the many people blackmailing him for his bizarre and at times outrageous behavior. All in all, the actor and his notorious "tiger blood" are certainly good examples for facing these sorts of difficulties with optimism. 

Earlier today, actress Janet Hubert responded to Jada Pinkett Smith's boycott of the Academy Awards over their snubbing of people of color in general, and her husband Will Smith's performance in Concussion in particular. Janet Hubert played Aunt Vivian on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air until being replaced after the 1993 season by Daphne Reid, reportedly at Smith's request. The animosity between Hubert and Smith is well-documented, but it may well hit a new peak after this video uploaded to Facebook today in which Hubert, referring to herself as a "blacktress," essentially calls the Smiths rich, privileged hypocrites (transcript below):

Here is a complete transcript of Hubert's video (after her introductory remarks about Martin Luther King Day and turning 60 years old):

First of all, miss thing. Does your man not have a mouth of his own with which to speak? And the second thing is, girlfriend, there is a lot of shit going in the world that you all don’t seem to recognize. People are dying, our boys are being shot left and right. People are hungry, people are starving, people are trying to pay bills, and you’re talking about some motherfuckin' actors and Oscars. And it just ain’t that deep.

Here’s the other thing. For you to ask other actors and other ‘blacktresses’ and black actors to jeopardize their career and their standing in a town [where] you know damn well you don’t do that.

And here’s the other thing: they don’t care. They don’t care! 

I find it ironic that somebody who has made their living...made their living and have made millions and millions of dollars from the very people that you’re talking about boycotting just because you didn’t get a nomination? Just because you didn’t win? That’s not the way life works, baby. Okay? And it... it’s very suspect to me.

And I seem to recall, hmm, 20... maybe 6, 7, years ago...25, whatever it was...I don't even remember. But I seem to remember coming to you at option time [on Fresh Prince] coming to you and saying "you know what, Will, you're the star of the show. Why don't we all get together, and maybe with you we can get a little raise? Maybe the network, you know since the show is such a hit, and you being the star of the show, your influence would help us greatly."

Like they did on Friends! Like white shows do! Remember that? Do you remember that? Because I do. Hmm. And your response to me was, "my deal is my deal, and y'all's deal is y'all's deal." 

Well, karma must be a bitch, because now here you are. Here you are, you've had a few flops. And you know, there are those out there who really deserved a nod, and Idris Elba was one of them. Lord have mercy. Beast of No Nation was incredible. That man is an incredible actor.

You are not. Maybe you didn't deserve a nomination. Uh, I didn't think, frankly, you deserved a Golden Globe nomination with that accent, but you got one. And just because the world don't go the way you want it to go doesn't mean you can go out and you start asking people to stand up and sing 'We Shall Overcome' for you!

You ain't Barack and Michelle Obama, and y'all need to get over yourselves. You have a huge production company that you only [use to] produce your family, your friends, and yourselves. So you are a part of Hollywood, you are a part of the system that is unfair to other actors. So get real.

Now for those of you who say "Miss Hubert, here she go! There she go! There she go bein' bitter." Bitches, please. It's not about being bitter. It's about being right. Y'know, some of us got mortgages to pay, we got bills to pay, we got bigger shit to worry about than the Oscars.

The only Oscar I care about right now is Oscar Meyer weiner with mustard and relish.

And on that note, blacktress Janet Hubert signing off. Peace, baby.

Prior to uploading the video, Hubert had shared and commented on Jada's post:

The actress has made her feelings about Will Smith well-known in the past, once saying, "I will never do anything with an asshole like Will Smith." For what it's worth, Will Smith has made clear that the feeling is mutual, "She said once, 'I've been in the business for 10 years and this snotty-nosed punk comes along and gets a show.' No matter what, to her I'm just the AntiChrist." So, there may well be a Fresh Prince reboot, but the reunion is still probably out of the question.

Greg Armfield, a photographer for the nonprofit WWF-UK, recently became the subject of a photograph himself when someone noticed that Armfield wasn't pointing his camera at the humping rhinos behind him during an expedition in Kenya's Nairobi National Park. This was obviously a grave oversight, so an unnamed photographer captured the beauty of Armfield missing the sweet rhino-on-rhino action:

The Daily Mail reported that Armfield was in Kenya for a "lion collaring expedition," so hopefully he missed the photo of rhinos having sex because he was taking a picture of lions having sex.

Monday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel honored Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the incredible leader who fought ignorance in the Civil Rights Era, by showing how ignorant Americans can still be today. In the latest edition of Lie Witness News, Kimmel's correspondent took to the streets to ask passersby how they felt about MLK endorsing Donald Trump for President.

The people who believe that MLK would endorse Trump are probably the same people who are going to vote for Trump.

The Friends cast is reuniting for a two-hour TV event this month, and not only is it not a new episode, but one friend is going to have to be there for the rest from afar (but no, not from Yemen). On The Graham Norton Show on Friday, Matthew Perry revealed that he'll be participating "remotely" due to a scheduling conflict—he'll be in rehearsals for London play The End of Longing(which he also wrote) when the special is taped on January 24. 

"It's not the Friends reunion everyone is hoping for," Perry admitted. As of now, the rest of the cast, consisting of Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, David Schwimmer, Matt LeBlanc, and Lisa Kudrow, are all on board for the special honoring Jim Burrows, a prolific director who's worked on, among other shows, Friends, Cheers, and Taxi, and who recently directed his 1000th television episode. 

Aside from his acting abilities, Adam Driver is known for his unusual face, which has divided fans into two camps: those who don't get why he's hot, and those who do. Given the actor's atypical features, it would seem unlikely that a perfect doppelgänger of Driver exists. While no human has surfaced who looks like him, animals are another story. This Oriental Shorthair catis Adam Driver. 

Does the resemblance not take your breath away?

The cat's name is Corey, which is close enough to Kylo that it could be changed. The two-and-a-half year old feline had been residing at the Monmouth County SPCA in New Jersey, but he's since been adopted. 

Corey's already been giving his owner tips on acing that Force choke!

Now that it's known Kylo Ren has a twin, there's no denying the latest Star Wars trilogy is the same as the first. 

At the Critics' Choice Awards on Sunday, Amy Schumer stopped to take a picture with a 17-year-old named Jackson Murphy (then went on to deliver an amazing acceptance speech for her MVP award). Murphy reviews movies on his YouTube channel under the moniker Lights Camera Jackson. Still, he's not exactly famous. Even though he has 5,000 Twitter followers, it's safe to say Amy Schumer was doing him a favor. And he repaid her with this tweet:

The tweet has since been deleted, probably because Schumer saw it and responded. She was not amused:

In Murphy's defense, he did apologize, which is more than most adults can manage to do. We should all be thankful that there wasn't social media when we were teenagers. Or if you are a teenager, learn from this:

Schumer relented as well, and accepted his mea culpa:

Sexism is a bummer, for sure, but thankfully Schumer turned this into a teachable moment: Don't put creepy lies on social media and don't try to be funnier than Amy Schumer.

On Sunday night, Matt Mitrione faced off against Travis Browne at UFC's Fight Night Boston and—surprise!—the hand-to-hand combat resulted in a truly brutal injury, albeit one that Mitrione seems like he'll recover from with no long-term damage. WARNING: the images below are graphic. Really, really graphic and gross.

UFC reacted with three poignant emojis and one quick appeal to the lord.

Since everyone tunes in to UFC to see what a broken orbital floor looks like, well, here it is. What caused it? In the words of the almost-blinded Matt Mitrione, you can blame "eye pokes."

No big deal. Just a couple of pokes.

Yes, everyone's thinking the same thing as Matt Mitrione here. Thank you, UFC. Very reasonable sport!

But don't worry, Mitrione's looking a lot better already. Oh sorry, meant to say "worry." Definitely worry. This is still horrifying.

Eagles guitarist and co-founder Glenn Frey died on Monday at the age of 67 of complications from rheumatoid arthritis, colitis, and pneumonia, after a lifetime of co-writing classic rock staples like "Hotel California," "Take It Easy," and "Desperado." Other musicians and celebrities took to social media to talk about his death and influence; here's a few words they had for the legendary musician.

1. Comedian Steve Martin

2. Singer/songwriter Carole King

3. Rocker Huey Lewis

4. Actor Miles Teller

5. Eagles frontman Don Henley

6. KISS frontman Paul Stanley

7. Pop star Justin Timberlake

8. Country singer Brad Paisley

9. Roots DJ Questlove Gomez

10. Singer Sheryl Crow

11. The Voice host Carson Daly

12. Country singer Tim McGraw

13. Actor/singer Hailee Steinfeld

14. Reality show star Kris Jenner

15. Actress Bette Midler

16. Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson

Steve Harvey recently sat down with Miss Colombia Ariadna Gutierrez to talk about his monumental flub last month. In case you forgot, he declared her the winner of the Miss Universe Pageant, when in fact she was first runner-up, and the actual winner was Miss Philippines Pia Wurtzbach.

Harvey, visibly emotional, asked Gutierrez how she felt about the way he handled the situation, adding under his breath, "This is so nerve-wracking." Her response got a big laugh: "You have to learn how to read cards." She added, "You wanted me to win," and Harvey yelled "Yes!" and high-fived her.

Great, damage fixed, everything is fine! 

Leonardo DiCaprio turned heads last weekend when he was spotted in a Paris club with Rihanna. DiCaprio was in Paris for the premiere of The Revenant, while Rihanna is there shooting the movie Valérian and the City of a Thousand Planets.

There were reports that the two were kissing, while others say they just exchanged pleasantries. So the certainty of them having any romantic involvement is at the junior high level of gossip. Rihanna would also violate Leo's unofficial policy of only dating women under the age of 25.

This is not the first time the two have been spotted hanging out at high-profile events, but famous actors have been known to socialize and not kiss. All eyes will be on DiCaprio in February as he attempts to win his first Academy Award for best actor. Whether or not he'll have a date on his arm remains to be seen.

California freelance makeup artist Tim O (@skelotim) has been posting pictures on Instagram of seriously stunning makeup inspired by snack foods—Funyuns, Ruffles, Cheetos, and Pop-Tarts so far. He calls them his “Fat Bitch” looks and told BuzzFeed news he was looking at a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos when he realized the bright colors would look "amazing" on his face. He went on: "At first, I was so scared, thinking people weren’t gonna get my humor and embrace my fatness but they loved it!”

When asked about his inspiration, he simply said “I’m a fat ass and love to eat." Bravo, Tim, bravo.