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Taylor Swift look-alike body shamed on Instagram, manages to slam her haters without the hit song.

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Keitra Jane is a 21-year-old who happens to resemble superstar Taylor Swift.

https://www.instagram.com/p/7y3NUVubHa/?taken-by=keitrajane

Or, as some say on Instagram, she's more like the love child of Blake Lively and Taylor Swift. Regardless, Jane's elfin features have attracted attention, a lot of which is negative, because social media feeds on a diet of hate.

Jane routinely receives comments calling her fat.

Body shaming, Exhibit A.

Jane, who is in recovery for disordered eating, valiantly uses her social media fame to fight haters with positivity and raise awareness of disordered eating.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAtbwtAubKo/?taken-by=keitrajane

"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative," her caption reads. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAjOrLjObDL/?taken-by=keitrajane

Her Instagram captions are full of references to her past and her desire that other people don't go down a similar road. Last week she wrote:

All "swiftness" aside, I'm glad I was able to share a little bit about disordered eating and triggers- such as bullying- that can influence and promote disordered eating in people. As somebody that has been there, I'm glad I can be a voice now to enable others to have strength. There is no beauty in disordered eating, and there is no strength! 

Haters can keep hating, but Jane and her fans aren't listening. Her cat, Marissa Cooper (named after a TV character just like T. Swift's pets)—doesn't seem interested in body shaming either.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA2bRkAubNO/

"Woke up to 5K followers AND so many comments promoting body positivity!" Jane wrote on Instagram. Yay, down with trolls!


13 people and 1 animal who had way more fun than you during the 2016 blizzard.

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Apparently, not everyone stayed inside and got drunk while watching The Great British Bake Off during Winter Storm Jonas. Some people actually braved the elements. These people are either stupid or the kind of heroes there will be legends and songs about someday. Here are some of their stories.

1. The man who did this for some reason.

https://twitter.com/joshmorrissey/status/691295602773200896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

2. The dancers in the street.

https://twitter.com/stevesilberman/status/691099495401070592?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

3. This hero who went after the scourge of New York City: NYU students.

https://www.facebook.com/yingying.li/videos/vb.747610318/10156477647765319/?type=2&theater

4. The dinosaur who came back from extinction. 

https://twitter.com/Rasiej/status/691037542179823616?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

5. The guy who snowboarded down his DC street.

https://www.facebook.com/charlesdanan/videos/vb.659951257/10154461582986258/?type=2&theater

6. The woman who convinced her husband to dress up like Death in the snow. 

For her "collection."

7. The guy who made a romantic snow fort for his girlfriend.

See how he did it here.

8. The woman who started hallucinating.

https://twitter.com/Bez/status/691346928433500160

9. The cops who started playing football.

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/691006250398535681

Finally, a ​heartwarming story of police tackling someone.

10. The person who tried to AirBnB their NYC snow fort.

https://twitter.com/Brokelyn/status/691636787966423042

11. Steven Tyler.

https://twitter.com/someecards/status/691612718881705985

12. These assholes.

https://twitter.com/NBCNewYork/status/691542052887203840

13. The woman who literally dived into a snowbank.

https://twitter.com/Independent/status/691218930606551040

It was a trend.

14. The happiest panda in the world.

https://twitter.com/smithsonian/status/690917670640717824

Election Update: A comedian realized exactly why Bernie Sanders looks so deliciously familiar.

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Important political update: Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders looks like a Friendly's Cone Head sundae.  

Just picture Bernie in a wizard hat. It's not hard.

If you don't know what a Friendly's Cone Head sundae is, you didn't grow up on the East Coast of the United States, where Friendly's is a huge casual dining chain. In fact, it's where Bernie Sanders proposed to his wife, which is how comedian Jen Mem [Ed. note—a friend of this writer] first noticed the similarity between Sanders and the clown-like dessert.

https://twitter.com/JenViaJersey/status/690309877319733248/photo/1?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=fb&utm_campaign=JenViaJersey&utm_content=690309877319733248

Wrote Mem in an official statement to Someecards:

I was reading up on how Sanders proposed to his wife, which was at a local Friendly's in Vermont, and I was curious about which treat they were enjoying before the proposal. I have a freak knowledge of mass-produced ice cream desserts and I realized very quickly that there was a chance Sanders or his wife enjoyed a clown cone. As I perused pictures of the sundae in question, I realized that the sundae's moppet-like whipped cream hair and eyes framed the scoop not unlike Bernie's hair and head. What a treat.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg (ice cream-berg?). It wasn't long before Someecards found other dessert lookalikes for presidential candidates. Republican Chris Christie, meet the Carvel Cookie Puss Cake:

Though Christie would never wear a beret.

And GOP hopeful Marco Rubio looks like another anthropomorphic Friendly's creation: The Monster Mash. 

Eerie.

This is what it looks like when a body builder's six pack gets stretched by pregnancy.

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Stacie Venagro is a three-time World Miss Fitness America Pro and 2014 Miss Fitness Universe, and she is currently 30 weeks pregnant. Her body, as you can imagine, is still fit as hell. In fact, in an interview with Mom.Me on Thursday, she made it pretty clear that fitness is as much of a priority as growing a healthy baby—they don't even have to conflict. She said:

My doctor told me all I needed was an extra 200 calories per day, none of this "eating for two" stuff. I wanted to make sure they were clean calories. I take in either a bigger breakfast or lunch and a smaller dinner. I'll have an Isagenix shake, adding blueberries, chia and flax seeds, frozen berries, ice, water, coconut oil and powdered peanut butter. That takes it from 270 calories to more than 400 calories.

Venagro probably knows more about nutrition than most doctors, so no worries:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA15iw5Hnew/?taken-by=flippncrazie

She's now at about 30 weeks and the last vestiges of her six pack are clinging desperately to each other across her belly:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAsJgLwnnWI/?taken-by=flippncrazie

Unlike some mom fitness queens, Venagro doesn't shame ladies who do put on a lot of weight during their pregnancy. She says:

Listening to the doctors and making sure you are on track is all you need. Don't let someone else's negativity ruin your day or even stress you out during your own pregnancy. One person may gain 15 pounds and the next may gain 100 pounds; everyone is different. You can only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Exactly. Here are her comparison pictures across the weeks so you can see the slow, Pangaea-like crawl of her abdominal muscles:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAaKPLcHnQq/?taken-by=flippncrazie

Venagro looks great, obviously, and also like a pregnant woman who could beat you up. Truly, the dream:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA2iR1SHnUw/?taken-by=flippncrazie

Wife finds out her husband divorced her just months into their now 20-year marriage. You can imagine her reaction.

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One good way to get out of having to pay alimony is to divorce your spouse without telling them. Then when it's time to split up assets you've accumulated throughout the marriage, your spouse will find out they actually have none. This is exactly what Gabriel Villa, 90, did to his wife Cristina Carta Villa, 59, only four months after they got married in 1994. Now she's suing him to nullify the divorce she didn't know she'd had, and to stop him from selling their Manhattan apartment and keeping all the proceeds for himself.

The Villa's apartment is in this building, where condos sell for about $1.4 million.

The divorce was registered not in New York or France, the two places the couple reside with their son, Lorenzo, but in the Dominican Republic, where neither of them have ever lived. According to Ms. Villa's lawsuit, her husband hired lawyers to represent each of them and gave “incompatibility of temperaments” as the reason for the split. But he then went on to live with her for another almost 20 years. She claims the divorce cannot be legal, since she didn't give permission for it, neither of them went to court, and the split was never printed in a newspaper as required by Dominican law. 

Ms. Villa, thinking she was still married to him, took care of Mr. Villa when he was ill and was given power of attorney and permission to make decisions regarding his healthcare. "He was absolutely charming and despite our age difference, it was love at first sight," she told the New York Post. "It was and somehow it’s still a great love." 

Ms. Villa found out about the two decade old divorce when she noticed her name wasn't on a tax bill that arrived in November for their Manhattan apartment. Thinking that seemed odd, she hired a lawyer to investigate, and found out her husband had tried to have her name removed from the deed, using the divorce in the Dominican Republic to prove she was not an owner. 

She thinks greed is at the root of the divorce, and believes her husband wants to sell the apartment to his adult daughter from a previous relationship. Overall, it sounds like these people have a really healthy (fake?) marriage. 

Mark Ruffalo gave two little girls a reward for finding his lost phone and wallet in the blizzard.

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For reasons unknown, Mark Ruffalo ventured out into Winter Storm Jonas on Saturday night, and somehow dropped his phone and wallet case. He took to Twitter, as one does, tweeting a request for help finding his missing stuff and offering a reward and a signed picture. 

https://twitter.com/MarkRuffalo/status/690991811729477632

Amenaide and Catherine Brown, two little girls walking home from Shake Shack with their mom (boy, people really will do just about anything for Shake Shack. Blizzard? No problem!), came upon Ruffalo's phone and wallet laying in the snow. They checked the drivers license, but didn't recognize the name. The phone was locked, but a text with a phone number was visible on the screen, and a few phone calls got them in touch with Ruffalo's publicist.   

https://twitter.com/MarkRuffalo/status/691037252730933248

According to Peter Brown, the girls' father, Ruffalo came over to pick up his stuff, and gave the girls $100 and the promise of a signed Hulk picture for being good Samaritans. 

The girls plan to spend their reward money at a candy shop, but the real reward is getting Mark Ruffalo to make that goofy face.

Nick Cannon addresses Oscar controversy the only way he knows how. Wait, a poem?

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Nick Cannon performed a spoken word poem addressing the #OscarsSoWhite controversy, proving that the most moving cultural criticism can come from the most unlikely of sources. The star of All That and Drumline posted the slam poem to his Facebook page, which articulates in a sharp, powerful two minutes that the overwhelming whiteness of the Oscars is a mere distraction from the real issues facing America and the black community. Watch, and forget that as a child he did sketch comedy on Nickelodeon: 

 

#SpokenSunday #Oscar #poetry #DontBeDistracted OscarDamn! Look what they did to Oscar.Nah, not another trophy rant.I'm talking Oscar Grant, Sandra Bland, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Freddie Gray.Why we trust what the news say anyway?It's blasphemous, don't get distracted by these lottery tickets and statues. It's just fake gold and plastic.We come from Pharaohs with no masters.What happened? We went from golden tombs to closed caskets.The Black Plague, they want us to catch it.Just ask Magic, Malcolm, Martin, Muhammad Ali, Bill Cosby. It's tragic. How the enemy can tear down our community and rewrite the history by highlighting our flaws.But let he who cast the first stone, who constitutes the new laws.Nah, I ain't never seen Empire but I serve my own throne.What I look like begging them to let royalty into they home.As for me and my house, we'll serve the Lord!We crying for votes but how many of us is on the board.Better yet, when's the last time you showed up and supported the NAACP Awards?I want what's mine, not yours.Fuck getting my foot in.I'm building my own doors.Hollywood mainstream don't validate me, yo. Like Hov say, Save the accolades, just the doe.You in this show for the business, or this business for the show?Talent and brilliance? Hands down, man we got that shit. That's why I told Chris, man go 'head and rock that shit.You got the Juice now. Fight the Power.Hell yeah, I'm gonna watch that ceremony where they gonna let a black man be the Master for at least two hours. So don't waste your voice, don't waste your prayers.Save'em for the thousands killed in Nigeria, Kenya, The Philippines, Syria or right here in our urban areas.Low America.Nah, now no one cares.What about my mother raising a son while working three jobs and still equating to less than minimum wage?What about me being placed on medication before my system could age?What about that prison industrial system turning Brothers into new slaves?Where's the outrage? Where the complaints at?Overcoming obstacles, definition of Black.Hashtag #facts.But I guess they don't make no awards for that.Real talk.Real Kings don't need no pats on the back.#Dontbedistracted

Posted by Nick Cannon on Sunday, January 24, 2016

Cannon says that like Whoopi Goldberg, he will not boycott the Oscars in support of host Chris Rock, saying, "Hell yeah, I'm gonna watch that ceremony where they gonna let a black man be the Master for at least two hours/So don't waste your voice, don't waste your prayers/Save'em for the thousands killed in Nigeria, Kenya, The Philippines, Syria or right here in our urban areas."

Read the full text of the poem, here:

Damn! Look what they did to Oscar.
Nah, not another trophy rant.
I'm talking Oscar Grant, Sandra Bland, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Freddie Gray.
Why we trust what the news say anyway?
It's blasphemous, don't get distracted by these lottery tickets and statues. 
It's just fake gold and plastic.
We come from Pharaohs with no masters.
What happened? We went from golden tombs to closed caskets.
The Black Plague, they want us to catch it.
Just ask Magic, Malcolm, Martin, Muhammad Ali, Bill Cosby. 
It's tragic. 
How the enemy can tear down our community and rewrite the history by highlighting our flaws.
But let he who cast the first stone, who constitutes the new laws.
Nah, I ain't never seen Empire but I serve my own throne.
What I look like begging them to let royalty into they home.
As for me and my house, we'll serve the Lord!
We crying for votes but how many of us is on the board.
Better yet, when's the last time you showed up and supported the NAACP Awards?
I want what's mine, not yours.
Fuck getting my foot in.
I'm building my own doors.
Hollywood mainstream don't validate me, yo. 
Like Hov say, Save the accolades, just the doe.
You in this show for the business, or this business for the show?
Talent and brilliance? Hands down, man we got that shit. 
That's why I told Chris, man go 'head and rock that shit.
You got the Juice now. 
Fight the Power.
Hell yeah, I'm gonna watch that ceremony where they gonna let a black man be the Master for at least two hours. 
So don't waste your voice, don't waste your prayers.
Save'em for the thousands killed in Nigeria, Kenya, The Philippines, Syria or right here in our urban areas.
Low America.
Nah, now no one cares.
What about my mother raising a son while working three jobs and still equating to less than minimum wage?
What about me being placed on medication before my system could age?
What about that prison industrial system turning Brothers into new slaves?
Where's the outrage? Where the complaints at?
Overcoming obstacles, definition of Black.
Hashtag #facts.
But I guess they don't make no awards for that.
Real talk.
Real Kings don't need no pats on the back.
#Dontbedistracted 

Kanye tweets track list for new album, reveals hilariously terrible handwriting.

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Kanye West, the Yeezy of your dreams, finally released the album track list for his upcoming album. Swish will come out February 11, and Yeezy's penmanship is atrocious. If it weren't for Rolling Stone's translation of the handwritten track list, Twitter would be abuzz for track nine, "Real Oongs," and track 10, "Wolubs." 

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/691489910293991424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Here's the Swish track list as transcribed by Rolling Stone:

1. Nina Chop

2. Father Stretch My Hands 

3. Waves

4. High Lights

5. 30 Hours

6. No More Parties in L.A.

7. Fade

8. FML

9. Real Friends

10. Wolves

Also, Kylie was there.


Article 20

Wendy's flame-broils Burger King in juicy Twitter feud.

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We all love seeing celebs throw shade at one another on Twitter, but it's even even more fun watching corporations do it. Last week, fast food chains Wendy's and Burger King briefly went at it on social media. This juicy beef was way more satisfying than a salad. It all started when Wendy's tweeted an ad for their new 4 for $4 meal.

https://twitter.com/Wendys/status/689841564328157184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Then Burger King chimed in with that same deal, plus a cookie. Oh snap!

https://twitter.com/BurgerKing/status/690279858295939072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

When asked what they were firing back, Wendy's responded with a diss that's basically the "Yo Mama" of the food service world:

https://twitter.com/Wendys/status/690562988005285888

DAY-UM! Get some aloe, Burger King, ya just got burned!

#TeamWendys reacted accordingly.

https://twitter.com/TylerHuckabee/status/691641049358471168https://twitter.com/kylesethgray/status/690708839029563394https://twitter.com/NeezLouize/status/690705278010961920

No response from Burger King yet. Could it be they’re working on an unprecedented 6 for $4?

Anna Duggar has released a statement after visiting her husband Josh in rehab.

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On Saturday, a post appeared on the Duggar family blog from Anna Duggar, wife of Josh Duggar. Josh is currently in some sort of faith-based clinic that's being called "rehab" by his family, because he was caught having sex outside his marriage one too many times. The scandal started when his name was discovered on the list of users for cheating website Ashley Madison after it was hacked last summer. Internet sleuths quickly discovered his Facebook and OKCupid accounts that were used for the same purpose. Anna Duggar spoke about her situation briefly on TLC's Jill & Jessa: Counting On in December:

Now there's the post on The Duggar Family blog with a statement attributed to Anna. It reads:

“Many have asked how I am doing. So many have asked that its actually humbling and touching. 2015 was the most difficult year of my life. Yet, amazingly I’ve found that in my own life crisis God has drawn near to me ("He’s near to the brokenhearted” Psalms 34:18) and my faith has been more precious to me than ever before. Just recently I visited Josh. It was an important step on a long difficult road. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and your messages of hope. I can never express how your kindness and prayers have brought encouragement when I needed it most—outpacing the grief and discouragement at every turn. I trust that God will continue to show His love and tenderness toward us and bring beauty from ashes—somehow—as only He can do. Please continue to pray for me, Josh and our children.”

-Anna

It seems like Anna is saying that this is the first time she's seen Josh since he was put away, and also sounds like she's sticking by him. Of course, it's hard to know if Anna Duggar is being controlled by the rest of her family and how much of this is her own words. Hopefully, she's getting the support she needs from somewhere. Besides God.

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Jennifer Lopez, because her booty busted out of her jumpsuit onstage.

Ms. Lopez, who refuses to learn her lesson about tight clothing.

Jennifer Lopez is famous for two things: her big butt, and the fact that it's also round. Of course, she's also a legendary singer, actress, and dancer, but those accomplishments are often overshadowed (literally) by her mighty rump.

So it's no surprise that her wardrobe is subject to the occasional trunk junk-related malfunction. That's what happened during her show at Planet Hollywood over the weekend. Looking gorgeous in a form-fitting spangled jumpsuit, she had just finished her last song and was taking a bow when the bending motion became too much for the material to take. Backstage footage captured the moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJn4GIEa7iQ

Although the sound wasn't caught on the microphone, that must have been an ear-splitting rip. It's hard to feel too bad for J. Lo—she and her butt will still come out of this smelling like roses. But it's those pants that are the real victim. What piece of clothing, no matter how elastic, could be expected to endure that sort of abuse? In the future, hopefully she'll stick to fabric-friendly clothing like muumuus and togas when she's performing. For the pants' sake.

4. Jon Hamm, because his Golden Globe has a typo.

Handsome Golden Globe winner Jon Hamm. That poor bastard.

For a name that's two syllables long, "Jon Hamm" is surprisingly tricky to spell. The double M alone would confuse even Stephen Hawking (if he were dumb). But an organization like the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (the body behind the Golden Globes) should really be able to figure this stuff out, which is why the story Hamm told to Vanity Fair's Krista Smith at this year's Sundance Film Festival was so disappointing.

Hamm told Smith that his first Golden Globe, which he received in 2008 for playing Don Draper in Mad Men, actually says "John Hamm" on it. And due to the writers' strike that year, Hamm didn't notice the mix-up until his statue came in the mail, when it was too late to change it.

Come on, Hollywood Foreign Press Association! You nail the double M, but get tripped up on "Jon"? Rookie mistake. You're just lucky you didn't pull that with Jon Stewart, or people would be accusing you of anti-Semitism. Then the Oscars wouldn't be the only award show with a race problem this year.

3. Paramount employees who were forced to poop in their cars.

Little-known fact: the mountain in the Paramount logo is actually a giant pile of poop.

Speaking of Hollywood being ashamed of itself, this one is a doozy. TMZ reports that Paramount Pictures is being slapped with a class-action lawsuit by four New York City-based production assistants (showbiz speak for "lowly servants").

The four P.A.s, who began working for the studio in 2010, claim that they were regularly required to work 60-100 hour workweeks without overtime pay. Their assignment during this time was as humiliating as it was dull: keeping pedestrians and vehicles out of film locations.

What's more, the P.A.s claim they were not allowed to leave their posts for even a minute to eat or use the bathroom, forcing them to relieve themselves into bottles and buckets in their cars. Which probably helped to keep bystanders away, but still sucks.

A typical P.A. trying desperately to hold it in.

These working conditions, and the lack of overtime pay, are especially egregious considering that these four car-poopers were working on blockbuster movies like TMNT, The Wolf of Wall Street, and Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon. That last title alone made Paramount more than a billion dollars. Maybe next time, some of that could go toward renting a Porta-Potty.

2. Andie MacDowell, because she was taken to task for complaining on Twitter.

She's aging gracefully. Tweeting, not so much.

Celebrities are just like us. They get pissed off at corporations and gripe about it on social media. The difference is that they're under a lot more scrutiny, so they have to be careful with their words. Even if they have a good point, they can easily look like whiny rich babies.

That's what happened to actress Andie MacDowell, co-star of the 1996 classic Michael and probably other movies, on Friday. After paying for a first class ticket on American Airlines, she was sent back to "tourist class" because of her dog, even though she had cleared it with the airline and paid extra ahead of time. She tweeted a photo at the company in what appeared to be a sincere request for assistance.

https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/690669813924950016

The haters smelled blood immediately, and swarmed on MacDowell piranha-style.

https://twitter.com/OnePlyWiper/status/690696333728985088https://twitter.com/jamest35209/status/690759355227082756

Ouch. Although it is a rich person problem to be demoted to tourist class like some disgusting tourist, MacDowell's tweet wasn't obnoxious. And she had a legitimate complaint—she had paid for herself and her dog to sit in first class, using her millions of dollars of wisely-invested Michael money. Nevertheless, the chorus of shamers quickly forced her to eat crow.

https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/691278110537465856

That heart makes everything better. Now the only outrage is the fact that there was never a Michael 2. Get on it, Hollywood!

1. Museum employees on trial for trashing King Tut's mask.

The mask King Tut was buried in and hopefully wore to parties.

The people of Egypt have enough trouble these days, between that country's political turmoil and frequent threats of violence. Which makes it all the sadder that a new plague is bedeviling them: bumbling, Three Stooges-esque museum curators.

Eight employees of the Egyptian Museum in Cairo are being taken to court over an incident in which they damaged one of Egypt's priceless national treasures: the golden burial mask of the boy king, Pharaoh Tutankhamun. Conservators claim that during routine maintenance of the mask's showcase in late 2014, employees accidentally broke off King Tut's trademark long, pointy beard.

Panicking, the klutzy curators glued the beard back on with epoxy, realized the next morning what a hack job they had done, scraped off the epoxy, and tried to fix it again. This process left the more than 3,000-year-old artifact irreparably scratched, and museum officials fuming.

Now it's as worthless as the gold it's made of.

To make things worse, the people responsible were also museum officials, including Mahmoud el-Halwagy, who was the museum's director at the time. He and seven others are being prosecuted for their involvement, even though they still deny that the mask was ever broken at all. But that's ridiculous—even the world's dumbest Egyptologist could see that mask is janked up.

Only time will tell if prosecutors will sentence the eight offenders before King Tut's curse causes their penises to fall off.

Adults in Minneapolis are having non-sexual cuddle parties, and not just because it's so very cold out.

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Some Minneapolis folks are finding a lot of comfort in monthly "cuddle parties"—non-sexual meet-ups facilitated by registered nurse Candessa Hadsall. The cuddle sessions, held in her living room on piles of bedding, are meant to help participants, who don't always know each other, explore boundaries and improve communication. 

The first rule of Cuddle Club is that Cuddle Club costs 20 dollars. The most important rule is you must ask permission for each touch, and you don't have to cuddle with anyone if you don't want to. Other rules stress that the word "no" is a complete sentence, and advise that if a cuddlee is uncertain of whether or not he/she is open to a particular touch, it's best to just go with "no." No word on whether or not Dutch ovens are acceptable. 

Hadsall, a registered nurse who has worked with sexual assault victims and chemical dependency patients, believes that cuddle parties enable participants to become comfortable expressing what they do and don't want from another person. 

Stout is a massage therapist looking to get a little back of what he gives out.

Science corroborates the belief in the the healing power of human touch. Cuddling releases oxytocin, a hormone made in the brain that reduces stress and can lower a person's blood pressure. 

Two people cudding = spooning, so 7-8 people cuddling = silverware drawer.

Cuddle Club seems like a more medical take on a professional cuddling industry that's made headlines a few times in the past. While Cuddle Parties may not be for everyone, they do seem like an excellent way to stay warm on those freezing cold Minneapolis nights

A restaurant banned kids under five, and parents worldwide are furious.

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A popular restaurant in Rome, La Fraschetta del Pesce, is turning away kids under five, and parents are not happy about it. “We were left speechless, without words,” one man who was turned away from the restaurant with his two-year-old son reportedly wrote on TripAdvisor. “It is unbelievable and not even legal." The restaurant has gone as far as to put a sign on the door, with big "NO" signs over a crying baby, a stroller, and a car seat:

https://twitter.com/JosephineMcK/status/689734025007730688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

In English, the sign reads: "Due to some unpleasant incidents caused by a lack of manners, children under 5 are not allowed in this restaurant."

According to The Telegraph, the restaurant owner thinks he has good reason for not allowing young kids. "They run slalom among the tables," he said. "They throw olive oil on the floor. They upturn the water. They send the salt cellar flying across the room. They try to dismantle the furniture. They shout, they cry and above all, they hate fish.” It is a seafood restaurant, so that part checks out. One group not interviewed by The Telegraph? Happy, mature adults enjoying a peaceful meal in a nice restaurant. 

A quick look at La Fraschetta's Facebook page, however, reveals the controversy raging in the comments section of the restaurant's latest post (which was in August, but that's not very important to everyone who just came to fight), and also how far Facebook's translation too has to go before it's really useful:

Many commenters pointed out that the policy seemed to violate several Roman statutes about providing access to public spaces and businesses, so book your Rome vacation now if you're really determined to enjoy a quiet dinner.

Related: Diner owner sparks online war by refusing to apologize for yelling at crying toddler to shut up.

Actress Andie MacDowell learns not to use Twitter to complain about flying coach.

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Andie MacDowell experienced a personal hell last Friday much worse than beingstuck in the same day for eternity or having to go to four separate weddings: flying coach. She complained to American Airlines on Twitter that she had been bumped to the "tourist class" when she paid for a first class ticket:

https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/690669813924950016?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

But the tourist class wasn't too happy about this complaint.

https://twitter.com/alreadytakeni/status/690674762993917952https://twitter.com/jamest35209/status/690759355227082756https://twitter.com/OnePlyWiper/status/690696333728985088https://twitter.com/OCtexan/status/691438868327825409

MacDowell, though, said she was just angry about the principle of the thing—and because the airline treated her poorly.

https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/691277360763633668https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/691353321001472001https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/691279166717718528

(Yes, you're seen as privileged, movie star Andie MacDowell.)

https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/691439524589731841

Also, she thinks "Tourist Class" sounds great:

https://twitter.com/AndieMacDowell3/status/691655109865009152

Yes, Andie MacDowell never once forgot the purpose of her trip. 


10 Kidz Bop lyric changes that are actually way creepier than the originals.

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Kidz Bop is the beloved franchise that features kids (and/or kidz) covering popular songs for, mostly, young kids/kidz to dance to at bar mitzvahs. So for the sake of the children, the grownups behind Kidz Bop clean up the lyrics to remove the sexual references and other adult subjects. By becoming vaguer, though, Kidz Bop songs sometimes become scary—and sometimes even more sexual.

Innuendo is so out.

1. Sean Kingston - "Fire Burning"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGPohCDvNS8

Original: "My pocket started tickling/The way she dropped it low that thang/Got me wanna spend my money on her, her."

Kidz Bop: "My hips started wiggling the way she danced around that girl/Made me want to dance with her all night, night."

Why it's creepy: Wiggling. WIGGLING? Danced around that girl. IT'S EVEN MORE SEXUAL THAN BEFORE.

2. Drake - "Hotline Bling"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXL1L9WmwLA

Original: "You used to call me on my cell phone/late night when you need my love."​

Kidz Bop: "You used to call me on my cell phone/anytime you need to talk."

Why it's creepy: That's some Overly Attached Girlfriend sh*t. 

3. Katy Perry - "Hot n Cold"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tAy06uSyXU

Original: "Someone call the doctor/Got a case of a love bi-polar."

Kidz Bop: "Someone call the doctor/Got a case of a love disorder."

Why it's creepy: Strangely enough, "love disorder" sounds scarier and more clinical than the name of a real, existing mental health issue.

4. Walk the Moon - "Shut Up and Dance"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QV6d-Cjfc5M

Original: "We were victims of the night/The chemical, physical, Kryptonite."

Kidz Bop: "We were victims of the night/The mystical, quizzical Kryptonite."

Why it's creepy: Adding a mystical, supernatural element sounds dangerous.

5. Ellie Goulding - "Love Me Like You Do"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6syEJ-lR4yI

Original: "Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've got to find."

Kidz Bop:"Every inch of your mind is the holy grail I've got to find."

Why it's creepy: This one gives off some real zombie vibes.

6. Taylor Swift - "Blank Space"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ33zltpDOs

Original: "Grab your passport and my hand/I can make the bad guys good for a weekend​."

Kidz Bop: "Grab your backpack and my hand/I can make the bad dates good for a weekend."

Why it's creepy: "Grab your backpack" just reminds you that these are kids/KIDZ singing about complicated romantic entanglements.

7. Lady Gaga - "Born This Way"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHcIEHrq_ps

Original:"No matter gay, straight or bi/Lesbian, transgendered life/I'm on the right track, baby/I was born to survive."

Kidz Bop:​[verse completely cut from song]

Why it's creepy: Um, it negates what the song is about. The Gaga estate is probably PISSED.

8. Meghan Trainor - "All About That Bass"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTIr7_GK8CI

Original:"Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size/She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night."

Kidz Bop:"My mama she told me don't worry about your size/She said don't let it keep you alone in your room at night."

Why it's creepy: Anyone who recently saw Room will know why this is alarming.

9. Icona Pop - "I Love It"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOWTJkdNYUU

Original: "You're from the 70s, but I'm a 90s b*tch."

Kidz Bop:"You're from the 70s, but I'm a Kidz Bop kid."

Why it's creepy: Considering the video has them singing this lyric in the forest, it elevates Kidz Bop to cult status.

10. Jason Derulo - "Want to Want Me"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwwjVLxIQ8M

Original: "I got your body on my mind/I want it back."

Kidz Bop: "I got your smell on my mind/I want it back."

Why it's creepy: These kids are way too young for Olfactophilia (the fetish that involves being aroused by odors).

Article 12

This guy trying to ask out his dog's trainer will make you scream, 'Just. Stop. Texting. Her!'

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This text conversation shared by Imgur user polarbearpuppy is the reason why you, humanity, can't have nice things. Fellas, if a woman gives you her number in a professional context, do not text her after midnight to ask her out. Then, when she inevitably says no, don't keep trying. Don't bring the dog into it. This whole thing is really a testament to DON'T. Warning—you might cringe your skin off by the end of this:

"Sadie says sweet dreams" is the new "put the lotion in the basket."

Rapper B.o.B. thinks the Earth is flat, decides to tweet about it. Neil deGrasse Tyson responds.

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One may never be able to listen to B.o.B.'s hit collaboration with Rivers Cuomo, 'Magic,' the same way after learning that the Georgia-born hip hop artist legitimately thinks that the world is flat and there's a conspiracy to cover it up. He may actually think he has the magic with him as well, and that everything he touches turns to gold. In any case, he tweeted a lot of stupid stuff on Sunday night.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691411463051804676?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691415749353558016?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

B.o.B.'s "edgy" attitude was not swayed by someone who responded with footage of the Felix Baumgartner jump from space, in which the curvature of the Earth is clearly visible.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691431876007821312?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691432090131247104

And here is the "jet fuel can't melt steel beams" of the Felix-Baumgartner-debunker movement:

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691420927939117056?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Sadly, this is not an isolated incident of Internet idiocy: so-called 'Flat Earth Truthers' are a thing online, and include such illustrious supporters as one-time reality star and sometimes-Hitler-praiser Tila Tequila.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691422284205178880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691616885088002050?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

The movement has picked up steam in the past decade, because the Internet provides a safe haven for stupid the way a damp, dark basement provides a haven for mold.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691426907984760832?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Here's one that debunks itself, not that that matters to anyone who's this far gone. If the planet was actually flat, stars in a timelapse photo would still rotate if the disc was spinning. (But if you have a disc, why even spin it? Seems like a pain in the butt for the giant turtles the disc is resting on). But they would rotate directly overhead like a big vinyl player. Instead, we see stars spinning around an off-center point that's different depending on where you are. That's because the Earth spins on an axis. The center of the rotation is always above the North or South poles, depending on which hemisphere you're standing in.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691415260134158336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

But if the Earth is a disc, and all these gullible humans are flying around on planes, surely someone has gotten too close to the edge. How could this be a secret?

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691420354699354113

At this point, B.o.B. (real name Bobby Ray Simmons, Jr.) just started tweeting out screenshots from other Flat Earthers' theories:

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691632786139136000

Yeah, OK, no. If you stood on a tall structure on a Flat Earth, you'd see the whole goddamn thingBecause it would be flat. Maybe the horizon would get blurry at some point from the atmosphere (which would be concentrated in the middle of the disc near the center of gravity, not evenly distributed, or it would fly off into space as the disc rotates… ugh), but… ugh.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691631549968748545?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Actually… you literally can't see the base of the mountain in that picture. You… arrggghhhh. 

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691630923851436033?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Fortunately, this one was stupid enough to attract the attention of the Internet's Greatest Spoilsport, Professor Neil deGrasse Tyson. Please, please Prof. Tyson, take over:

https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/691647814338629632

In fact, Prof. Tyson responded to a few tweets (today, after last night's tweet storm) in an effort to keep more Internet dwellers from falling off the edge of reality. He was remarkably polite about it, considering.

https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/691650342363209729https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/691652747674980355https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/691655467978919936

By the end, however, B.o.B. was not content to keep his misconceptions grounded on Earth. He decided to close with a grab-bag of the web's favorite dumbs:

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/691636965448507392?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/690591103234375680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/673671090997039109?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/673670576381165568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/bobatl/status/673670296470028288

Still, he is aware of how Twitter works.

https://twitter.com/bobatl/status/690712038851538944

For the record, the circumference of the Earth was first figured out 2200+ years ago by Eratosthenes in ancient Alexandria, Egypt. Eratosthenes measured the angle of the shadow from pillars at noon in cities several hundred miles apart (they were 5000 stadia apart, but the measurement of the 'stadia' unit has been lost to time).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNqNnUJVcVs

You can still perform this experiment today, or you can write a note to Scott Kelly, who has a lot of free time while undertaking the longest space flight ever on the International Space Station.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6JIE8e2LhQ

He likes taking pictures; he'd probably be happy to point his (curved) lens out his (lying) window for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_W280R_Jt8

Single people are sharing how they look on Tinder vs. how they look while swiping.

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On Thursday, Someecards asked its contributors to share photos of themselves as they appear in their online dating profiles, side-by-side with how they look when they're actually scrolling through other folks' pictures, looking for love. In profiles, people are vivacious, hot and fun. When they're staring at their phones and wondering if they'll ever meet someone they can stand, they're the opposite. The results were hilarious, and the hashtag #OnTinderAtTinder really took off. Now, of course, everyone has an opinion about it:

https://twitter.com/l3ahpar/status/691012640919912448

You can, of course, see the honesty of these posts as "proof" of lying women, but it might be more accurate to say everyone has two sides to them: a sexy and fun side that's up for whatever, and a sleepy side that's bummed out by Internet dating. Here are some more of our favorite examples of people keeping it real online for once. Date them:

1.

https://twitter.com/amarahowe/status/691680749662162945

2.

https://twitter.com/Captain_Ikarus/status/691593063672717312

3.

https://twitter.com/kris_g1986/status/691293435001729029

4.

https://twitter.com/JanellPR/status/691285783727112197

5.

https://twitter.com/Aratesxc/status/691228550909841409

6.

https://twitter.com/kellyz_bubble/status/691216520773509120

7.

https://twitter.com/alutkin/status/689531549612646401

8.

https://twitter.com/Toughguy1/status/691165698425487360

9.

https://twitter.com/DeeBlissful/status/691147504134393856

10.

https://twitter.com/ahmedsiddiqi17/status/691028599307157508

11.

https://twitter.com/ShawnMHiron/status/691028825627451392

13.

https://twitter.com/ImmyBird/status/691006862926462978

14.

https://twitter.com/prisonpete/status/690701511903571969

15.

https://twitter.com/FloridaGators/status/690633385639804930

16.

https://twitter.com/TVMcGee/status/690572544357879809

17.

https://twitter.com/GoldBlut/status/690273530131451904

18.

https://twitter.com/LaurenGrigor/status/690260093539999744

Join in on the #OnTinderAtTinder fun! Also, check out our previous post from the beginning of the trend.

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