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Science has kindly invented weed tampons for period pain. Thanks, science!

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A new pain-relief product for women plagued by period pain will soon be available in the U.S.—"weed tampons." Okay, they're not actual tampons, they're "cannabis-based vaginal suppositories" (tampon-shaped but without the absorbent quality of tampons), but "weed tampons" sounds wonderful, so let's stick with that. 

This may look like a box of weed mints, but don't eat the contents.

FORIA, the California-based company famous for their "weed lube" (a THC-enhanced lubricant for women), says their new product will relieve pain by relaxing the muscles around the uterus, cervix, and ovaries. They claim that users will get the benefit of the pain-and cramp-relief that cannibis provides without the attendant stony effect. So the medicine is designed to get your vagina high, but not your brain.

But not all medical practitioners are on board with that idea. Gynecologist Jen Gunter warns against using these suppositories (weed tampons!), due to the lack of medical testing and the limited scientific research backing up Foria's claims that you won't accidentally Pineapple Express yourself. She writes

The company says its product won't get you high because "the medicine is administered as a vaginal suppository." This makes no sense. Medications are absorbed from the vagina into the bloodstream and then from the bloodstream they go to the uterus and the brain and everywhere else that blood goes. This requires only a rudimentary knowledge of physiology. Medication doesn't crawl up the vagina to the uterus and then just hang out avoiding circulation.

She also points out that the dosage of the suppositories (ahem, "weed tampons") is noticeably higher than what's recommended for oral ingestion:

Technically there is more than enough THC in Foria Relief vaginal suppositories to get you very high and even send you to the emergency department, although as vaginal absorption of THC is totally unstudied who really knows? Also, you are taking their word that this is the actual dose. The product might also contain not much of anything. Why they decided to go with such a high dose is unknown as much lower doses can produce analgesia (pain relief), unless of course it's not about the cramps after all. If Foria Relief really does contain 60 mg of THC and absorption is between 15 and 60 minutes it's hard to believe the goal isn't to leave you paralyzed on the bed thinking menstrual cramps aren't so bad after all.

Each suppository ("weed tampon") supposedly contains 60mg of THC and 10mg of CBD (but, like Gunter points out, you can't really know), and a four-pack of them will retail for $44 (that part is fact). And hey, if things get bad enough, you can always just try eating one (just kidding, definitely don't do that). ​


There's something NSFW hidden in this beautiful sunset, but only true pervs can spot it.

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Sunsets are majestic works of art by an unseen hand, and so are dirty drawings that you find on the side of a bathroom stall. Somehow, this photo of a sunset over North Yorkshire in England captures both aesthetics, but it might take you a few moments to see it:

https://twitter.com/CeriOakes/status/694451235227897856?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

In case you need a hint:

https://twitter.com/trev0272/status/694451507463372800https://twitter.com/CeriOakes/status/694451644638060544

Here it is, for the lesser pervs among us:

There's even a little tiny meatus at the top.

Ceri Oakes is going to have a lot to talk about with her future mother-in-law.

Article 43

George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, and Jimmy Kimmel made the ultimate doctor drama.

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TV today is all about 90s nostalgia, complete with reboots of Full House, The X Files,and even the O.J. Simpson trial. Kimmel tried to hop on the trend by organizing an E.R. reunion, but with little notice, only George Clooney showed up. Another TV doctor was available, however, and Hugh Laurie's Dr. Gregory House, M.D. came in to remind Clooney of the most important thing they learned in TV Doctor Medical School: "The Rapper's Delight." It's just what the doctor ordered.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_z3rN84Vmk

Article 41

A dad shared a picture of a terrifying thing that can easily happen to a baby's toe.

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As if there weren't enough horrifying things that could go wrong with tiny, helpless babies with their soft heads and rubbery necks, a Kansas dad recently posted a picture on Facebook of his infant daughter's toe that will make you want to cover your eyes (and your baby's toes).

Hair tourniquet syndrome a.k.a. "no no no no NO NO no NO!"

According to BuzzFeed News, Scott Walker (no, not Wisconsin's Scott Walker) was out to lunch with his family when Molly, his five-month-old daughter with wife Jessica, became "very upset" and wouldn't settle down, no matter what they tried. The Walkers had an instinctive feeling that something wasn't right—Molly suffers from colic and acid reflux, so fussiness isn't unusual, but something definitely seemed "off" in this case. Jessica took off Molly's socks to cool her down, and she noticed her daughter's toe was red and inflamed. A piece of hair had become wrapped so tightly around it that it was actually cutting into the baby's skin. 

Molly is happy and healthy and thankfully still has 10 fingers and 10 toes. 

Apparently new parents have to be really careful of an easy to miss but potentially dangerous condition called "toe-tourniquet syndrome" or a "hair tourniquet." It's when a piece of hair gets wrapped around a baby's finger or toe and cuts off the blood flow to the digit, which can have serious consequences if it's not addressed immediately. 

Hair tourniquet on another baby foot.

According to Dr. Julie L. Gallombardo, a clinical instructor in the Department of Pediatrics at New York University Langone Medical Center, this common condition can sometimes be the culprit behind an inconsolable baby. It can lead to infections or result in emergency surgery, and can happen on fingers, toes, and even genitals (oooouuuuuuuccccchhhh).

Whew, Molly's little foot as all good now.

Molly's mom removed the hair using tweezers and a magnifying glass, and Molly's toe healed up just fine. But Walker shared his story and the picture on Facebook as a caution to other parents who may not be aware that this can happen, and his Facebook post has since been shared over 18,000 times. Baby toes are adorable for snacking on, but keep all hair away from them and check them at all times. And maybe shave your head, just as a precaution. Yikes. 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10207180102852312&set=a.1401819136903.51773.1575087476&type=3&theater

Donald Trump nominated for Nobel Peace Prize. So was a man he once implied he would execute.

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Thousands of people hold the power to nominate candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize—last year 273 people made the list. According to Kristian Berg Harpviken, the head of the Peace Research Institute in Oslo, an unnamed U.S. nominator put the name of one Donald Trump forward for this year's prestigious award.

The rationale? A "vigorous peace through strength ideology, used as a threat weapon of deterrence against radical Islam, Isis, nuclear Iran and Communist China," according to a nomination letter cited by Harpviken. Trump did not, however, appear on Harpviken's list of candidates who have any chance of winning the award.

Not likely to win, but at least he won't lose to Ted Cruz.

One candidate Harpviken does think is a serious candidate is a man Trump once implied he would execute: Edward Snowden. In 2013, the Donald appeared on Fox & Friends to say, "This guy is a bad guy. You know there is still a thing called execution," and that spies "in the old days used to be executed."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4DjrBC4K-Q

Harpviken mentioned, "2016 may finally be Edward Snowden's year … His leaks are now having a positive effect." Other Nobel candidates include Colombian peace negotiators and Greek islanders who provided assistance to Syrian refugees.

Article 38


A young woman quit her sorority. Her message about why she left is spreading quickly.

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Alex Purdy is a graduating senior public relations major at Syracuse University, and on Thursday she uploaded a video to YouTube that sparked a real controversy at her school. When Purdy first arrived at Syracuse, she was excited to rush a sorority. Purdy had played basketball all through high school and wanted to find that sense of camaraderie, support and friendship in her college experience. Sororities seemed to promise all of those things, but her actual time in one was very different from advertised.

Purdy opens her video by saying she isn't putting sororities on blast out of spite. She thinks the bare bones for something empowering and awesome are there, but a lot needs to change. She never names her sorority, though she does give a number of disheartening details about why she left:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0qIs8RAENs

Purdy says she was most shocked by the lack of compassion sisters had for each other. She saw leaders telling younger girls to dress sluttier at parties to impress frat boys, putting weight loss supplements in the "littles" baskets and badmouthing FUPAs. If you don't know what that means, Purdy illustrates:

But she's not just telling tales. Purdy wants to start a dialogue with the hashtag #SororityRevamp. Her message has already started to go viral, and the responses online are surprisingly supportive for YouTube comments:

good for you alex. well said and extremely gutsy to publish this video. let this be your first lesson in what it's like to deal with nasty women in the work place, unfortunately more common than you would think. stay tough, cuz these gals in your old sorority will shun you for the rest of your years at syracuse. good luck, an su grad. -Julie M.B.V 

Hi Alex, former fraternity active and current alumni adviser, would like to say I absolutely loved this video, and I hope as well that your experience is an outlier and not the norm. You're brave for sharing your thoughts, and I'm sure you'll receive many ill comments from those that didn't bother to watch through the end to understand the soul of your message. I went to a small state school in New York and the Greeks were in all shapes and sizes, but we were unified in that we did all we could to empower one another. It should be like that everywhere. -Old Joe

She told The Daily Orange that though there's been some backlash to her video, a lot of people are reaching out to her to say they felt similarly. She says:

I’ve always been taught to stand up for what I believe in despite the consequences. So once I saw some of the hurt that was going on and spoke with other people who’ve had similar experiences, I just felt like I should do it because they might not, and I don’t know how many other people are going through it.

It's hard to imagine how sororities will change when the culture around them is so engrained, and girls like Alex Purdy are being driven out. Also, when they have access to production quality like this for recruitment vids:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5DztKJGVjw

Purdy's video is a good start though. 

Someone calculated how much wizard money is worth in 'Harry Potter.' Harry really was rich.

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A muggle with a lot of time on their hands calculated how much the wizard money from Harry Potter is worth in actual dollars. The line between reality and the Harry Potter world continues to blur, as fans keep getting to experience the books in real life. Someone already calculated the tuition price for Hogwarts. A lucky few fans enjoyed Christmas dinner in the Great Hall, and now you can ask the sorting hat which house you belong to.

The approximate exchange rate for wizard money was determined by Redditor aubieismyhomie, who tallied all the purchases from the books, then compared and converted the items you can buy in the real world (candy, bus fare, etc.). Once that was established, they could then estimate how much all the famous transactions were actually worth.

Mad stacks of galleons.

In wizard money, there are galleons, sickles, and knuts. Here's the breakdown for those denominations:

17 sickles = 1 galleon

29 knuts = 1 sickle

(493 knuts = 1 galleon)

And with a little financial magic, here's the exchange rate in dollars:

Galleon = $25

Sickles = $1.50

Knuts = $.05

Based on these rates, a butterbeer from the Hog's Head or a hot chocolate on the Knight Bus would cost about $3. Harry bought about $18 of candy on the Hogwarts Express in his first year, and an advanced textbook at Hogwarts costs about $175. (Even wizardry students get ripped off by the textbook industry.)

These exchange rates mean that when Harry gave Fred and George money (from Triwizard Tournament winnings) to start their joke shop, it came in at a whopping $25,000. And before Dobby the house elf was freed with a clever ruse, he made only $25 a week.

It also means that J.K Rowling's net worth is 40,000,000 galleons, and people reading articles and looking at social media in the office costs employers roughly 1,120,000,000 galleons every year.

Article 35

This bored dog had himself an apartment-trashing party.

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Setting up a camera in your home is a great way to see what your pets get up to when you're not there. In the case of this woman's dog, it was pretty evident what he was up to while she was out, from the destroyed remains of her belongings left strewn around her apartment. Still, watching him do it is pretty damn cute. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E23G0O7CdHQ

When asked for a comment, the dog said that he felt his owner had a lot of delicious, chewy possessions that she wasn't taking advantage of, and he figured he might as well give them a try. He pointed out that she was reading her books all wrong, using her eyes and not her mouth. 

Check out the :54 mark, where the dog pauses for a moment to stare meaningfully into the camera with his doleful doggy eyes, wondering how much longer he must wait for his human to come home so that he can show her how productive he's been all day. She's going to be so proud of him!

Then he gets right back to it, "Placemat? She doesn't need this. Yoga mat? She probably doesn't want this anymore." He did ignore the huge unopened bag of dog food, though, so maybe they can share that for dinner. What a good boy.

Women are having 'saddle surgery' to make bike riding more pleasant for their vaginas.

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Any woman who has ever ridden a bike for more than ten minutes knows that cycling can be uncomfortable AF. A growing number of ladies are not satisfied with how the bike seat treats their vag, and are turning to vaginal surgery to be able ride in comfort. Angelica Kavouni, a surgeon in England, spoke to the Daily Mail about the rise in "saddle surgery."

Angelica Kavouni, saddle surgeon.

She claims to see as many as nine women a week interested in having some labial tissue snipped off to reduce chafing. The procedure takes an hour to perform and is done under general or local anaesthetic. It takes about two weeks for the bleeding and swelling to calm down, then another two to four weeks before a labiaplasty patient can jump on the saddle again.

The price of not hobbling around after a spin class or casual bike ride is between $4300-$5800.

'My vagina is so comfortable.'

A labiaplasty patient described to Marie Claire UK how she was unable to bike for more than 10 minutes without pain. She tried wrapping her seat in a towel or stacking up sanitary pads to cushion the blow. As it turns out, walking around with 3 pads was awkward and didn't do much. The woman said, "I've never been insecure about my body for aesthetic reasons, but physically, it felt like it was really holding me back."

She finally opted for surgery with Dr. Kavouni. Post-surgery, she "feel[s] more confident." Now that she has no excuse, she can go on as many long, boring bike rides as she wants.

Activist judge demands people stop wearing pajama bottoms to his courtroom.

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Your mom, your teacher, your judge—they all want the best for you. They all want you to succeed. They all want you to wear appropriate attire when you defend yourself in court.

Local and national news sources alike started sharing the following image after Judge Craig Long of a Columbia County, Pennsylvania district court said too many people were rolling out of bed without bothering to change before they appeared before him. The photo's racked up a thousand shares and a typically contentious debate in the comments section over whether justice should be blind or somewhat fashion conscious.

Still waiting for an explanation of "cat fund fees."

"We have a growing problem of people not dressing appropriately for court. I just put it out there as a reminder of the code of conduct that should be followed when appearing in court," Judge Long told WNEP.

The PSA certainly riled Facebook's usually unflappable commenters, one of which said, "I think the judge should be focused on more serious issues" and another who put it more poetically: "Most people can't even afford nice clothes. Douche bag judge."

The judge did clarify that his sign only applies to those making an actual courtroom appearance. If you're just checking in to pay a fine or pick up a document—go ahead and do that stuff nude, who cares?

"It's not a law. It's not a rule or something we can enforce. It's just there as a reminder," he said.

But anyone who's seen Making a Murderer knows you should use whatever advantage possible in the American legal system. Even if that means—god forbid—changing into pants.

Grumpy old people are battling the kids for control of the hilarious #MillennialBillOfRights hashtag.

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Millennials: they take lots of selfies, don't they? And they sure do love Netflix. Also, they're inheriting a terrible world that past generations have ruined from cruelty, greed, and the systemized dehumanization of anyone who isn't a white, able-bodied, cisgendered, straight male with the emotional range of a Vin Diesel performance. 

Now, which of these two takes on Millennials do you think was overwhelmingly preferred by Twitter jokesters in the trending hashtag #MillennialBillOfRights?

Here are the best ones, since all the people making jokes about "participation trophies" show the kind of lazy, unoriginal, unfunny sarcasm you'd expect from f*cking Generation X.* 

1.

https://twitter.com/calsquared/status/694868664378642432

2.

https://twitter.com/sissyknits/status/694870166618906624

3.

https://twitter.com/neontaster/status/694893394137513984

4. 

https://twitter.com/Pohleetakal/status/694906089968701443

4. 

https://twitter.com/ImNotMormon/status/694909040988545025

5. 

https://twitter.com/shannon_ealy/status/694907394132959232

6. 

https://twitter.com/SeanMcElwee/status/694914899932270593

7. 

https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast/status/694914386360672256

8.

https://twitter.com/mcbc/status/694916735821045764

9.

https://twitter.com/HavanaGreen1/status/694887869643636736

10.

https://twitter.com/vrunt/status/694916623908626432

*Mad about this? Relax. Generations aren't real.


'Fully aroused' daddy longlegs preserved in amber for 99 million years.

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A fossilized daddy longlegs was found on a tree in Burma sporting an extra long leg. This well-endowed Halitherses grimaldii was apparently engulfed in tree resin when he was about to get his freak on and became fossilized with an erection, only to be discovered in this private moment 99 million years later.

https://www.facebook.com/natgeo/posts/10153389733178951

National Geographic reports on the specifics of the daddy longlegs's prolonged amorous state:

After a months-long puberty, the male harvestman Halitherses grimaldii had finally blossomed into full manhood, sporting a penis that grew to nearly half of his body length when erect.

We know about this H. grimaldii's particular package because, as announced last Thursday in The Science of Nature, he died fully aroused, his tree-side tryst interrupted by oozing resin that entombed his body in what's now a lump of amber.

He died doing what he loved.

Daddy longlegs or not, you should call your doctor if your erection lasts longer than 94 million years. 

People are complaining Reese's Hearts don't look like hearts, but come on, it's still Reese's.

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Let's face it, the only relationship that's guaranteed to last forever is the one between peanut butter and chocolate. They're delicious alone, but when you smoosh them together and shove them in your mouth by the handful, you can finally understand what true love is. Last Christmas, there were lots of gripes on social media that Reese's trees were non-traditional and dumpy looking. But Reese's took it in stride and started their #AllTreesAreBeautiful campaign.

https://twitter.com/ReesesPBCups/status/672492207727857664

Now it's Valentine's Day, and the trolls are back again to complain about Reese's Hearts, looking like blob trees. Delicious, delicious blob trees.

https://twitter.com/britastrophe_/status/687391746313949184https://twitter.com/oyen1703/status/575652860265803776https://twitter.com/socarolinesays/status/694235380007202816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Other people are complaining because they're looking at it upside down.

https://twitter.com/billgreider/status/687374309833179138https://twitter.com/Seis_seis/status/689276711427543045

But what does a heart really look like anyway?

https://twitter.com/TheMissyBaker/status/694914393746903041

In response to their critics, Reese's tweeted, "Our hearts may beat to their own rhythm, but they still have that perfect taste."

https://twitter.com/ReesesPBCups/status/694905852310892545

As long as they don't start making Reese's Hearts look like this, than who gives a rip?

Worst. Valentine. Ever.

Robert Durst pleads guilty to gun charges, will face possible murder trial. (And maybe a 'Jinx' sequel?)

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Robert Durst, the alleged murderer who famously muttered into a hot mic that he was definitely a murderer, has pled guilty to illegal firearm charges, landing him an 85-month federal prison sentence and allowing authorities to transfer him to Los Angeles to await trial for the murder of his friend, writer Susan Berman. Maybe now Durst will finally face justice for one of the murders he allegedly probably almost definitely committed. Having a trial in Los Angeles, conveniently, will also bring him back to Hollywood so HBO can (fingers crossed) make a sequel to "The Jinx." One can hope, anyway. 

When we last saw Robert Durst, he was being arrested at a Marriott hotel in New Orleans (where he was staying under an alias) by the FBI, who believed he was about to flee the country. During that arrest, a gun was found, and since Durst is a convicted felon, owning a gun is illegal. Durst's high-priced attorneys, who have gotten him off the hook for much bigger things, of course, were vastly overconfident that they could get these charges thrown out by arguing the search was unconstitutional. Federal judge Helen G. Berrigan, however, sided with prosecution. The cocky defense lawyers had apparently even neglected to fill out paperwork for a plea agreement that would have reduced his sentence from 85 months to 29. Now the battle will begin to see whether the new evidence (and the infamous bathroom confession) uncovered in "The Jinx" is admissible in court. 

When we last saw Durst before his arrest, he was peeing on some candy in a Texas CVS. When we last saw him before that, he was muttering "killed them all, of course" into a hot mic on "The Jinx." Not too many positive headlines about this guy.

This photobombing horse has kicked off a feud over who should be raking in the hay.

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David Bellis and his three-year-old son, Jacob, took a photo near their home in Prestatyn, located in north Wales. As you can see below, a smiling horse got in on it. The horse's name is Betty and she belongs to a local woman named Nicola Mitchell, but the Bellis' were on a public footpath when they snapped the pic. They decided to submit it to Thomson Holidays' Made me Smile competition, and unexpectedly won a voucher for a £2,000 holiday.

The Culprits.

That's when the trouble started. Mitchell thinks that her family deserves some of that sweet vacay action and told The Guardian that she was pissed with Bellis for taking advantage of Betty's sunny nature:

I was really annoyed to hear he had won a £2,000 holiday and had used a picture of our horse without our permission. He should have asked for our consent. There should be some token gesture as it is our horse that has really won them the holiday...

I didn’t even know that this competition was on. If I had known about it we would have entered and could have won as Betty is always sticking out her tongue.

Sure.

Unfortunately for her point of view, Mitchell hasn't a leg to stand on legally. Photos taken in public are automatically copyrighted to the people taking them. At best, Mitchell is just kicking off a feud that will dog a small town in Wales for generations to come. People are mocking Mitchell mercilessly online:

https://twitter.com/chloehamilton/status/694489587813584896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/jondonnisonbbc/status/694455372342427656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

And David Bellis has slid from bafflement to anger:

I don’t understand why Nicola is so annoyed. I was on a public path that everyone uses to go to the local school and everyone sees the horse there.

At first they thought I was winning £2,000 cash and said I should give them half, but it’s a holiday so they are not getting a penny. I’m not giving them the holiday either. They would have to come on the holiday with me – and that isn’t happening unless we’re both in a saddle together on the horse.

Katelyne Mitchell, Nicola's daughter, has come to the defense of her family on Facebook, and seems to feel her mom was misquoted in The Guardian. She was annoyed, yes, but they're happy for David and Jacob and congratulated them on their prize:

There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth.

Scientists have discovered what causes Resting B*tch Face and don't you dare say PMS.

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Resting Bitch Face (also known as Bitchy Resting Face) was a "thing" long before there was a name for it. The number one symptom is an almost always unintentional look of annoyance or disdain on the victim's face when not talking or even emoting. Sufferers are often unaware of their plight, unsure what causes them to come across as unpleasant or annoyed before they've even opened their mouths. And while there's still no known treatment, researchers have finally started to understand the causes behind RBF.

Anna Kendrick, looking yep, a little bitchy.
https://twitter.com/AnnaKendrick47/status/492719954106404864

According to the Washington Post, behavioral scientists Jason Rogers and Abbe Macbeth of the Netherlands-based Noldus Information Technology attempted to determine why some faces come across as completely expressionless, while others seem judgmental or derisive. They conducted a study of thousands of faces using a tool called FaceReader, designed to identify specific facial expressions. Facereader maps 500 points on the human face and then assigns the faces an expression based on the human emotions happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, anger, disgust, contempt, and “neutral.”

Scientists started by inputting "neutral" faces into the reader, and then entered some of the most severe cases of RBF in history (including Queen Elizabeth and Kanye West) to determine why these faces, while their owners make no attempt to emote, seem so, well, bitchy. Of course, besides those two, the syndrome has its own (uneager) poster kids—Kristen Stewart and Victoria Beckham have famously serious cases of it, and even America's most petite sweetheart (petiteheart?) Anna Kendrick has openly admitted to suffering from the syndrome.

The neutral faces registered 97 percent neutrality, with FaceReader detecting just three percent of emotion, but the bitchy faces registered only 94 percent neutral, with the increase in perceived emotion coming from the illusion of "contempt." 

Kristen Stewart has bravely suffered from RBF publicly for years. 

Macbeth told the Washington Post that "contempt" was characterized by the lips being pulled back or raised ever so slightly on one side, creating the impression of a sneer, along with an almost imperceptible squinting of the eyes. 

But the most fascinating thing that Rogers and Macbeth found was that while women are often thought to the be main sufferers of RBF (Kanye aside), the phenomenon is actually not gender-specific. Since FaceReader is a scientific tool without personal bias, it detected RBF in male and female faces in equal measure. Why, then, are women so overwhelmingly accused of it, while afflicted men are able to fly under the radar? Macbeth explains: "[Smiling is] something that's expected from women far more than it’s expected from men, and there’s a lot of anecdotal articles and scientific literature on that. So RBF isn’t necessarily something that occurs more in women, but we’re more attuned to notice it in women because women have more pressure on them to be happy and smiley and to get along with others.” 

So go ahead and tell those bitchy men all around you that they'd look so much prettier if they'd just smile! Or don't. Who cares, really. 

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