Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

17 GIFs to calm you the hell down.

$
0
0

If you have a pulse, you probably have an anxiety problem. Whether it's your job, your family, or your commute, life is full of stressful situations. Deep breathing, alcohol, and screaming obscenities into a pillow can help, but if those fail you today, try looking at these stunning nature scenes and restore your self to a peaceful center. 

1. Look at this majestic waterfall. 

Now imagine pushing your coworker off of it.

2. Imagine yourself drifting off into a relaxing slumber.

There's nothing a good 16-20 hours of sleep can't fix.

3. Hear the pitter patter of the gentle raindrops. 

Now imagine stealing someone's umbrella and not GAF.

4. Let the sun shine in.

On second thought, close your drapes and go back to bed.

5. Imagine yourself flying high above the clouds.

Bet you could really hock a loogie on someone from up here.

6. Go with the flow.

And if the flow takes you to McDonalds three times in one day, that's the flow's problem, not yours.

7. Find the stillness within you.

It's probably located somewhere near the spleen.

8. Listen to the sounds of a babbling brook.

Unless it's saying "kill, kill, kill."

9. Smell the aroma of hot coffee.

Now picture yourself scalding the face of the person who cut you off in traffic.

10. Lose yourself in the crackling fire.

Now imagine all of your ex boyfriend's dumb possessions burning up in there.

11. Let your worries dissolve.

Much like the steam on a heated pool, or the pee in a chlorinated pool. 

12. Feel the sun on your skin.

And the sand in your crack.

13. You could always try a cup of hot tea. 

Or just pour whiskey into a tea cup to hide your drinking problem from your boss.

14. Visualize catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Now imagine those snowflakes are pizza rolls.

15. Let all of your problems drift out to sea. 

Like the body of a drifter you accidentally​ hit with your car.

Did these gifs calm you down? 


This terrible photoshop job may be Trump's alternative to finding a person of color willing to wear his t-shirt.

$
0
0

Donald Trump's campaign just got busted for almost definitely photoshopping the skin of a white model on his website to look darker.

https://twitter.com/ericming5/status/705417645936545794?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

On Thursday, Eric Ming, the digital director for Donna Edwards' Senate campaign, tweeted the side-by-side images above. As Jezebel reports, the left image is from Trump's online shop, while the right image is from a custom print store called jcgapparel.

Even worse than digitally changing someone's skin color, the Photoshop job itself is atrocious. Humans usually have things like shadows and highlights on their skin, which show up in pictures to keep them from looking like someone just covered them everywhere uniformly with a bucket of paint.

As Trump has bragged, he has "a great relationship with the blacks" (you know, "the blacks.") Maybe someone should let "the blacks" know that, though, so he can find someone willing to wear one of his shirts?

The Trump campaign didn't respond to Jezebel's request for comment, but they did change the model's skin color again—she's lighter now, but still darker than she was initially. And at least she appears to have dimensions. It's still TERRIBLE photoshopping, though—just look at her neck, where her skin appears to be overlapping the shirt. What Trump should worry about is having a great relationship with his graphic editors.

This is how the T-shirt is currently advertised on Trump's website.

This must be Trump's way of letting America know he's got a great relationship with the artificially tinted people, too.

Animal shelter owner Danielle Eden rescued 250 dogs because she didn't want them to suffer.

$
0
0

In January, Danielle Eden from King City, Canada, was on a mission to rescue dogs in her native country, Israel. During her trip, shevisited an animal shelter, and was heartbroken by how rundown it was. She wrote on Facebook that she saw six dogs in each cage who battled each other for pieces of bread while rats scurried around. 

More than 250 dogs were packed into a facility built for 70.

Instead of rescuing only a few, Danielle pulled a total boss move. She bought the entire shelter and immediately placed 250 shelter dogs under her care. Of the 250 stray dogs, she flew 25—who were the most healthy—back to her and her husband Rob Scheinberg's DogTales animal shelter in Canada. 

 

We would like to take a moment to fill everyone in on an enormous project that we have taken on here at Dog Tales. The...

Posted by Dog Tales Rescue and Sanctuary on Friday, February 26, 2016

Danielle and Rob continue to save dogs around the world. Woman's Daysays the couple brings between 10 to 20 stray dogs with them on their trips—these dogs are either very old or have serious health problems and can't be left behind.

Here's Danielle and Rob with one of the dogs they saved in Israel.

Over the past two months, the couple rescued 90 more pups from the defunct shelter in Israel, and the canines were given to loving Israeli families. As for the dogs still living in the shelter, Danielle wrote: "We have assembled a team in Israel to clean up the shelter and make the dogs more comfortable until we have the space to bring them here."

Danielle and Rob opened Dog Tales—their animal shelter in Canada—in 2014 after rescuing four stray dogs in Israel. According to BuzzFeed: "The facility is located on 50 acres and features walking trails, large fenced-in paddocks, and therapy pools for the dogs. The dogs are also walked eight times a day." If you want to help the couple save dogs, adopt one, or ask Danielle how you can buy your own shelter, visit their website and reach out to them here.

This story is yet another reason to consider moving to Canada, even if you don't fear a Trump presidency.

Article 30

Dolce & Gabbana named a pair of shoes the 'Slave Sandal,' as if the design wasn't ugly enough.

$
0
0

Fancy designer Dolce & Gabbana has everyone hating on them again for a terribly named and very expensive pair of sandals. Up until recently, rich people could shell out $2,395.00 for their very own pair of Dolce & Gabbana "Slave Sandals." Yup, the label named a pair of shoes Slave Sandals for inclusion in its 2016 collection, HuffPo reported.

The brand and online retailers have since given the offending shoes new names such as "Decorative Flat Sandal." But the ugliness (not to mention high price) remains.

No, a glue gun-happy toddler didn't design this.

The brand's website says the sandal—which is only available for pre-order right now, so don't get too excited—"features "Sicilian Cartwheel" appliques such as multicolored pompoms, mirrors, gold passementerie, crystals and metal filigree elements." Essentially, if a Michael's barfed on a shoe, it would result in these sandals.

Nobody can understand why Dolce & Gabbana initially chose to name this shoe the Slave Sandal, because it was obviously such a stupid decision. Maybe they wanted to distract from the design?

https://twitter.com/FlackInTheCity/status/705440888055578624https://twitter.com/shantegumede/status/705631749464682497https://twitter.com/paigeareta/status/705582924662329344https://twitter.com/chuckbazzgettv/status/705675018294976512
"Are the pom-poms too big?" "No, not at all." "Is the name too racist?" "No, not at all."

The sandals would, horribly, compliment the slave shirt from Wasted Heroes

Justin Timberlake's birthday message for Jessica Biel is so sweet, you'll continue to desire him.

$
0
0

As if Jessica Biel's "huz" Justin Timberlake wasn't already the cutest spouse a woman could want, on Thursday he posted an Instagram wishing her a "happy bae-day."

https://www.instagram.com/p/BChHxvcydtN/?taken-by=justintimberlake&hl=en

The full caption on the Instagram of him knocking her a little kiss on the cheek reads:

Happy BAE-DAY, baby!! I can't put into words what you mean to me... You are the GREATEST Mommy and Wife a man could ever ask for. I love you to the MOON AND BACK!!! --Your Huz

What a sweet couple. They also have a child together, which explains why he calls her the "GREATEST Mommy" in his caption—it might seem a tad worrisome without that context.

These are the best countries to work in if you're a woman. The US isn't great.

$
0
0

The Economistis heralding International Women's Day 2016 (March 8) the only way they know how: a disheartening infographic about the status of women in the workforce around the world. The 'glass-ceiling index' "aims to reveal where women have the best chances of equal treatment at work," combining factors such as "higher education, labour-force participation, pay, child-care costs, maternity rights, business-school applications and representation in senior jobs." Where does the U.S. stack up, you ask reluctantly because you have a bad feeling about what the answer is? Below average.

The graph also shows that American exceptionalism is relative.

According The Economist, Nordic nations "whose commitment to sexual equality goes back a long way" are pretty much the happening place for working women to be.

In these countries, women are present in the labour force at similar rates to men. Finland has the largest share of women who have gone through higher education compared with men (49% of women have a tertiary degree, and 35% of men). Norway’s gender wage-gap (6.3%) is less than half the OECD average (15.5%).

Women have 44% of seats on listed-company boards in Iceland; strong representation in Scandinavian boardrooms is common thanks to quotas. Norway and Iceland also have voluntary political-party quotas, as does Sweden where 44% of parliamentary seats are occupied by women, one of the highest rates in the world.

While those handsome Nords are slam dunking the whole gender equality thing, America is air balling it into the crowd where it hits a female popcorn seller in the face which causes her to get fired for spilling popcorn all over the basketball team's male owner. Here's a breakdown of U.S. numbers.

Not great!

On the bright side, a 2010 report from U.S. Department of Labor projected that women will account for 51% of the labor force by 2018.

Unfortunately for the women of Japan, Turkey, and South Korea, they fared worst in The Economist's graph, which found that those countries have disproportionately male workforces. And just when you thought it couldn't get bleaker, Japanese women also have to worry about robotic dinosaurs taking their jobs. Looks like women will have to grow scales and circuit boards to compete in the job market.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd3MjmUgNoY

Article 26


Miley Cyrus officially goes too far, jams someone else's retainer in her mouth.

$
0
0

Miley Cyrus, whose Instagram is like if a kaleidoscope got drunk, shared what at first appears to be a tame picture to her followers. She's sporting some orthodontic gear, which would be cool and all except for the fact that the retainer in her mouth is not her own.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCg1Fs1QzDT/?taken-by=mileycyrus

"When you wear your bffs retainer lol​," she captioned the picture. She may or may not be referring to Katy Weaver.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCgIltuybG4/?taken-by=katyweaver

First off, it has to be painful for Cyrus to put in the retainer, even partially. Secondly, ewewew. Think of all the years of someone else's saliva that's touched that retainer and has now made contact with Cyrus's mouth. 

It's even weirder than the stuff Cyrus typically posts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCZYRwHwzEY/?taken-by=mileycyrushttps://www.instagram.com/p/BBjAYdawzLE/https://www.instagram.com/p/BCA6SqyQzNc/?taken-by=mileycyrushttps://www.instagram.com/p/BBOAcbVwzO6/

 Her Instagram is so mystifying. 

Priyanka Chopra destroys Jimmy Fallon in a wing-eating contest, but the real winner is clearly Atomic Wings.

$
0
0

Actress Priyanka Chopra appeared on The Tonight show With Jimmy Fallon on Thursday night. First, she eloquently talked to Fallon about her role in Baywatch and Quantico. Then, she destroyed the host at a chicken wing-eating contest. 

https://youtu.be/BkyhFJ6QADU

“Destroyed” is an understatement for the Miss World and Miss India star, who's also apparently a natural champ in competitive eating. “I couldn’t even do one,” Fallon confessed after his defeat. “I got a big, a big chunky one. My first wing was a big wing — I couldn’t.” 

The wings were provided by New York's Atomic Wings, who must have paid a true fortune for the spot and the mention from both Chopra and Fallon.

Article 23

The top 40 tweets of the week according to someone who spends entirely too much time on Twitter.

$
0
0

It was a long week. There was even a Leap Day. But hey, spring is almost here! The Oscars on Monday already seem like ancient history. Super Tuesday voting reinforced the seeming inevitability of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. In response, Bernie Sanders endorsed Phish and was endorsed by Phish in return. Trump's rivals spent all week trashing him, even getting failed candidate Mitt Romney to speak against him, but for all the good it did they might as well have praised Phish instead. Tweets about these developments, plus jokes about pirates, dogs playing poker, how to pronounce lasagna, and more, in the top 40 tweets of the week!

1.

https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/705009551901380609

2.

https://twitter.com/MooseAllain/status/704963550154981376

3.

https://twitter.com/iamchrisscott/status/703358175374925824

4.

https://twitter.com/rachelmillman/status/704881011197399041

5.

https://twitter.com/Buncahn/status/703392200479150080

6.

https://twitter.com/jonlovett/status/703288263956541440

7.

https://twitter.com/curlycomedy/status/703256754835103745

8.

https://twitter.com/merrittkopas/status/703379184048087041

9.

https://twitter.com/nedroid/status/704661909472030721

10.

https://twitter.com/desusnice/status/703258177928880128

11.

https://twitter.com/ByYourLogic/status/704850460893704193

12.

https://twitter.com/davedittell/status/703297688763117570

13.

https://twitter.com/mountain_goats/status/704084137590673408

14.

https://twitter.com/marcmaron/status/704008700847980545

15.

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/704132692208709632

16.

https://twitter.com/ericsmithrocks/status/704841254174117888

17.

https://twitter.com/TimFederle/status/704724530841960448

18.

https://twitter.com/afbradstone/status/704679417587572736

19.

https://twitter.com/GuyEndoreKaiser/status/703281316792414208

20.

https://twitter.com/chrisdelia/status/704961076253761536

21.

https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/704916191459078145

22.

https://twitter.com/MrGeorgeWallace/status/705190577688543232

23.

https://twitter.com/BadAstronomer/status/705129542201974785

24.

https://twitter.com/vornietom/status/705209272674549760

25.

https://twitter.com/imskytrash/status/705233908879618053

26.

https://twitter.com/behindyourback/status/705126790134636544

27.

https://twitter.com/EndhooS/status/705393616420782080

28.

https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/705373730768359424

29.

https://twitter.com/DanMentos/status/705652984521207808

30.

https://twitter.com/rad_milk/status/705436316440244225

31.

https://twitter.com/TriciaLockwood/status/705652296185581570

32.

https://twitter.com/leyawn/status/705519996680671232

33.

https://twitter.com/LOLGOP/status/705532753480175621

34.

https://twitter.com/mynameisntdave/status/702938184896880642

35.

https://twitter.com/allstn/status/705208066082512896

36.

https://twitter.com/cowbellerina/status/701318208322609152

37.

https://twitter.com/ikebarinholtz/status/705411466283786241

38.

https://twitter.com/Steven_Hyden/status/705407613534474240

39.

https://twitter.com/SJKSalisbury/status/705641675159269376

40.

https://twitter.com/ashleymayer/status/705581386183217154

 

Cops take to Facebook to inform citizens they are not fooled by cardboard license plates.

$
0
0

This past Wednesday, a New York woman named Amanda Schweickert created a ridiculously dreadful cardboard license plate in an apparent attempt to fool the authorities. It did not work, because it looked like this: 

Question: what could make this cardboard license plate less convincing?
Answer: the back of this cardboard license plate.

The sheriff who pulled her over presumably noticed the fake plate immediately, also noting that she didn’t have a front license plate at all. Even worse for the lady, she was driving with a suspended license and no insurance. Not even cardboard versions.

According to NY Daily News, “The Sardinia resident was charged with one felony count of possession of a forged instrument, a misdemeanor count of driving with a suspended license and three other traffic infractions.”

Said the Sheriff's Office: "In case you are wondering, homemade cardboard license plates are NOT legal.​"

https://www.facebook.com/179604762134642/photos/pcb.952667258161718/952667134828397/?type=3&theater

Ms. Schweickert is currently being held at Erie County Holding Center and will need to pay $400 bail for release. But the sheriff’s department may have done her a favor when they posted her kindergarten-level license plate art project on their Facebook page. One commenter was so delighted, he even offered to pay her bail:

"I think I'd like to pay her bail!" stated the comment. "Why you ask? Why not I say? It made me laugh and whats $400 for a good belly laugh anyway!" 

But the award for best comment goes to another Facebook user, who wrote: “I am going to make you a Vermont plate out of maple syrup and bacon."

That's perfect. Because cardboard's a felony, but nothing created with bacon could ever be considered a crime. 

Guy proposes in photo booth where he first kissed his girlfriend, might be from a rom-com.

$
0
0

On Elliot Amos and Ronak Darafshian's first date four years ago, they had their first kiss in a photo booth. Because he's that in love, Amos carried the photos around in his wallet for years. With such a romantic heart, 24-year-old Amos went all-out-cute for his proposal to his 26-year-old girlfriend.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153818977259884&set=pb.503699883.-2207520000.1457109894.&type=3&theater

On Valentine's Day, Amos took Darafshian to the bowling alley where the infamous photo booth still stood, "which was funny," Darafshian said, "because we hadn't been bowling since we went there on our first date." After the first picture, Amos whipped out an engagement ring to settle his fate.

https://twitter.com/ITVWales/status/705343364095451136

At first it was all too emotional for Darafshian. "I cried for a long time and then Elliot said 'Well are you going to answer me?' And I said 'Yes of course.'" The couple plans on marrying next summer. They're going to have a photo booth at their wedding, obviously.

As to the original pictures, Amos said he "will keep those pictures forever next to my heart." His vows are going to be the most poetic thing ever.

Article 19


'The People v. O.J. Simpson' is so popular, the LAPD is investigating the case again.

$
0
0

The People v. O.J. Simpson miniseries has so far been a critical and commercial success, and now new evidence is being investigated, perhaps so there can be a second season. 

First reported by TMZ, but confirmed by the Los Angeles Times so it's officially legit, the LAPD is currently testing a knife that was found on O.J. Simpson's Brentwood property. A construction worker discovered it and turned it over to a nearby cop, who apparently brought it home and kept it for years. That cop retired from the LAPD this year and finally told a friend in the Homicide Division about it.

Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark as you.

TMZ reports, "Our sources say the knife is currently being tested for hair and fingerprints. It will be moved to the Serology Unit next week, where it will be tested for DNA and other biological evidence," to see if it can be linked to the brutal 1994 double homicide. 

The LAPD held a press conference confirming that this knife was indeed found, and explaining that the cop held onto it because he thought the case was closed. It wasn't.

https://twitter.com/BBCBreaking/status/705806073970622464

In 1995, the prosecution never produced the murder weapon. The defense claimed to have done so with a famous "mystery envelope," but later forensic evidence found that it was in pristine condition with no indications of usage. 

This folding buck knife just might prove what the Court of Public Opinion has ruled for decades, and since O.J. was officially found not guilty—in that unofficial court it's an open case. But regardless of the forensic findings, The Juice couldn't be prosecuted again because in the real legal system that's called double jeopardy.

Thanks to double jeopardy, O.J. is probably doing the same shrug.

Also, who knows? Maybe the LAPD planted it like they could have done with the gloves.  

This mother, daughter, and grandma claim they're mistaken for sisters. Oh dear.

$
0
0

A mother, daughter, and grandmother have taken to the British media to say that everyone tells them they look like sisters. It's probably ridiculous to say this on the day after one Republican talked about his penis while another ate his own booger on live TV, but: humankind, can we please stop this trend and have some f*cking dignity?

https://twitter.com/TheSun/status/704977550813089792

Now, yes, obviously, 65-year-old Gwen Slade, 44-year-old Jemima Slade, and 16-year-old Lily Slade do not look like sisters, despite the fact that they apparently all wear the same dress size. Not in the slightest:

https://twitter.com/StueyMacD/status/704994913465798657

And, as previously reported, Donna and Mya Galt, a mother and daughter pair, do not pass as sisters either:

https://twitter.com/itvthismorning/status/699283813159956480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/dvneia/status/699304623677399040?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

The only mother and daughter to passably look like sisters are, in fact, the OGs of this trend:

https://twitter.com/kaylan_17/status/692827112873594885?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

It's hard to talk about this without seeming anti-feminist, and there certainly is nothing wrong with mothers dressing in youthful clothes ("mutton dressed as lamb," as they say in the UK). But please, please, just accept one thing, mothers of the world: when someone tells you that you and your daughter look like sisters, that person is being polite

House of lies.

Bernie Sanders thanked a mom for breastfeeding at his rally. Not everyone is as happy with her.

$
0
0

If you want to breastfeed your child at a Bernie Sanders rally, he won't mind. In fact, he might actually commend you on fulfilling your motherly duties, as he commended Margaret Ellen Bradford at a recent rally in Ohio. The Cleveland mother had taken her six-month-old daughter, Harper, to the event and nursed her when the infant exhibited signs of being hungry. Bradford found out a photographer had taken a picture of her and Harper after it had already gone viral.

So I was sent photos of me breastfeeding Harper at Bernie Sanders' rally... Making the most attractive face ever.

Posted by Margaret Ellen Bradford on Monday, February 29, 2016

In a Facebook post addressed to Ellen DeGeneres (who Bradford hopes will help her obtain a photo of Harper with Bernie Sanders and his wife Jane O'Meara Sanders), Bradford explains her interaction with the candidate:

This past week my daughter and I got to attend a U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders' rally. While there, she got hungry like babies do, and unbeknownst to me at the time a reporter took this photo of us. After the rally, Bernie and Jane O'Meara Sanders both thanked me for doing what mothers do and taking care of my daughter when she needed her mom, even if that meant nursing in public!

Bradford's comment under the same post revealed that the surge of support also came with a lot of hate mail:

I can't tell you all how much this support means. I've been trying to stay positive but honestly I've cried 3 times already from some of the hateful messages I've received, telling me my daughter should be taken or that I'm just an uneducated lowlife hick. I was starting to lose it and considering taking the picture sown. To know I have so much support keeps me going.

She continued in a post on her own page:

The hate mail I'm getting right now- you'd think I personally went up and shook my boobs in these people's husband's faces or my hatchetman tattoo jumped off my chest and punched them in the nose.

Posted by Margaret Ellen Bradford on Thursday, March 3, 2016

Unfortunately, mothers receiving flack for breastfeeding in public isn't anything new (*cough* Trump *cough*), but Bernie himself caught wind of the viral photo and took to Twitter to reiterate his support for mothers:

Bradford is taking the high road and twisting the situation into a way that best helps her candidate of choice via the new and phonetically satisfying #BoobsforBernie.

So my boobs went viral today but it's okay because it was for Bernie Sanders. That being said, #boobsforBernie should be a thing. Fellow breastfeeders, I'm looking at you.

Posted by Margaret Ellen Bradford on Monday, February 29, 2016

Bernie may have a lot of boobs sliding into his DMs today, and he deserves every one of them.

Guy gets in huge text fight defending why he 'stole' his girlfriend before realizing it's a wrong number.

$
0
0

Imgur user itskindofapunnystory received a text from an unknown number that at first made no sense, then did make sense, then didn't make sense at all. It started with a text saying itskindofapunnystory "stole" his girlfriend from another guy, which was an accusation that itskindofapunnystory did not take lightly.

Itskindofapunnystory only realized there was a grave miscommunication between him and this other number when names came up. "At first I thought it might be real because it sounded like something my girlfriends ex would say but then a guy named Todd was mentioned. I do not know any Todds," he wrote on Imgur. Upon finally understanding the error, itskindofapunnystory of Michigan made liberal use of excellent memes.

With names like Chad, Brock, RJ, and Todd, that crew sounds a super threatening 90s boy band.

The scene at Bar Louie that evening.
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images