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There are seven types of boobs, so keep that in mind before you settle down.

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As BuzzFeed uncovered, lingerie company Third Love created a dictionary of seven different kinds of breasts to help women while bra shopping. For women, this will probably come as a blessing, because it can be hard to find a good-fitting bra in the normal A-B-C-D cup sizes. For heterosexual men, it will probably seem like a checklist. Pigs! (But also, everyone likes boobs, so no judgment?)

Warning: illustrated nipples ahead.

Apparently, there are tear drop boobs, which are rounded but slightly less full at the top, like Princess Di's boobs earrings:

There's also slender breasts, which are thin and with nipples pointing downward:

There's bell shaped boobs, which are slimmer at the top and fuller at the bottom:

There's rounded boobs, previously seen on various Kardashians:

Speaking of the Kardashians, the East West boob type sounds like it could be the name of Kim's next child, but really it just means that the nipples are pointing in opposite directions:

The side set boob type means there's a gap between the breasts:

And the asymmetric breast type is exactly what it sounds like:

Those are all the boobs. Though yours probably looks like any number of these depending on what part of your menstrual cycle you're in, #AmIRightLadies? 


17 times people thought their food looked like dongs.

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Do you have a dirty mind? Are you hungry? If you answered yes to one or both of these questions, you've come to the right place. Here are 17 times people caught their food looking unintentionally erotic.

1. This carrot has a ding-dong.

This carrot was really great in Boogie Nights.

2. Does your pear shaped hubby have a pear shaped chubby?

And you thought cucumbers were the most erotic thing in the produce section.

3. It's not easy being cheesy when you're a Cheeto Wiener.

This makes it even more embarrassing to have Cheeto fingers.

4. This pork sword is actually made of pork.

This really puts the ding dong in the ham a lam a ding dong. 

5. This popsicle pecker is why the ice cream man has to stay 50 feet away from a school.

This is what it looks like when a clown gets an STD.

6. These pepper pee-pees may be spicy, but they're not hot.

Not sure if this is from a produce catalog, or a medical textbook. 

7. This wang-shaped baguette will butter your buns.

This is why it's so hard to give up carbs.

8. This tomato has a tallywhacker.

Tomat- OH!

9. This is the only kind of dick-tater this country needs.

Gives new meaning to the term "hot potato." 

10. Anyone hungry for a schlong sandwich?

When you catch your boyfriend cheating on you, but your still hungry.

11. Starburst might want to rethink their slogan, Unexplainably Juicy™ after this.

This Starburst shaft is why you should never take candy from strangers.

12. The donut dong is as happy to see you, as you are it. 

Ribbed for her pleasure.

13. This bacon baby-maker will stop your heart in more ways than one.

This is why they say bacon is better than sex. 

14. These chicken finger phalluses might be enough to turn you into a vegetarian. 

Makes it's own dipping sauce.

15. This baby carrot looks like a baby willy.

Nature's version of the micro-penis.

16. The best part of waking up is a coffee cock in your cup. 

This latte needs a Viagra prescription ASAP.

17. This string cheese trouser-snake might make you lactose intolerant. 

This must be where the term "cheese dick" originated.

In the words of Austin Powers, "Does that make you horny, baby?"

12 Ways 2016 is actually 1996 all over again.

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1996 was a simpler time. There was no Facebook, no texting, and the only Kardashian anyone knew about was the dude who helped O.J. walk free. Twenty years have passed, but as a wise man (Justin Timberlake) once said, "What comes around goes around." Here are 12 ways 2016 is exactly like 1996. (As if!)

1. The X Files is on TV.

The X Files was a popular show in 1996. In 2016, Mulder and Scully are back again.

Pretty sure no one reads "TV Guide" anymore though.

2. So is O.J. Simpson.

In 1996, O.J. Simpson was a free man. He gave an hour-long interview with BET titled O.J. Simpson: Beyond the Verdict.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQF6A0Bhi1g

In 2016, O.J. is locked up (for armed robbery), and back in the news with the FX TV show American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAyn1gDBc7s

3. Everyone's talking about the Clinton campaign.

In 1996, Clinton was running for president.

Standing by her man.

In 2016, Clinton is running for President.

Standing on her own.

4. Everyone wants to see the Spice Girls in concert.

In 1996, the Spice Girls exploded onto the music scene.

They made you wanna zig-a-zig-ah, whatever that means.

In 2016, the group is rumored to be reuniting for a tour.

Old Spice.

5. People protested the Oscars.

In 1996, Jesse Jackson led a protest of the Oscars for a lack of diversity.

Back then, you had to write your tweets down on paper.

In 2016, Will and Jada started a boycott of the awards show.

Both were so pissed The Oscars snubbed Scientologists this year.

6. Leonardo DiCaprio dates blondes in their 20s.

In 1996, they were his own age.

King of the world.

In 2016 they're not even close.

He keeps gettin' older, they stay the same age.

7. Plaid is in.

This was high fashion back in the day.

People talked on the phone back then, ew.

And this graced the runways in 2016.

Sad faces are so hot right now.

8. There are rap beefs.

In 1996, Biggie and Tupac had a feud that ended with murder.

Sure, they look tough, but how many retweets did they get?

In 2016, Wiz Khalifa and Kanye West had a feud that ended with the hashtag #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch.

Can someone please take away Kanye's wifi?
https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/694620226743238656

9. Everyone is weirded out by Donald Trump.

In 1996, he posed with his daughter on a statue of two parrots boning.

https://twitter.com/MarshallJulius/status/694466583205429248

In 2016, he assured the world he does not have small hands (or, by extension, weiner) by saying, "'If they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee."

https://twitter.com/Ziweeee/status/705579219552698370?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

10. Independence Day is in theaters.

Independence Day was released in 1996 and it's coming back again in 2016, because people have officially run out of ideas.

Welcome to Earf (again.)

11. Full Houses.

America said goodbye to Full House 20 years ago.

You got it dude.

In 2016, Netflix said hello to Fuller House. (Without Michelle, how rude.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXuGLswn2l0

12. You've got a crush on Justin Timberlake.

You first fell in love with the baby-faced (and ramen noodle-haired) cutie back when he danced with 'NSYNC. All these years later, your heart pounds just as hard when you see him dance with Jimmy Fallon.

Never saying "Bye Bye Bye" to this crush.

The news anchors in the 'Zootopia' movie change depending on what country you're in.

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Depending on what country you live in when you watch Zootopia, the news anchors of Zootropolis (the movie's setting) will be totally different than what people around the world see and hear. Lots of movies cut scenes or tweak dialogue to "regionalize" their films to make them more appealing to different countries, but Zootopia went a step further to make the different versions potential collector's items.

https://twitter.com/RyshatsCorner/status/706315676219146240

North America and much of Europe will see a moose (voiced by veteran Canadian broadcaster Peter Mansbridge), China has a giant panda, Australia and New Zealand have a koala (despite there being no koalas in New Zealand), Japan will have a tanuki (which have a wonderfully bizarre folklore history), Brazil will have a jaguar, and the United Kingdom will have a corgi.

https://twitter.com/RyshatsCorner/status/706628340023558144

The UK version of the movie won't come out until March 25, so sadly, we'll all have to wait to see what the corgi anchor looks like.

Related: Disney tried to market its new kids movie 'Zootopia' to furries. Really.

11 celebrities who got caught Photoshopping their selfies.

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Being a celebrity seems glamorous, considering that you get to be rich and beautiful and get millions of Instagram likes on your selfies. But it’s actually a lot of hard work, because fame requires that someone vigorously edit all your casual snapshots before you can put them online. Even then, no one is fooled. There are countless trolls on the Internet who have devoted their lives to look for the tiniest trace of Photoshop in celebrity selfies. Here are the most egregious cases they've ever discovered.


1. Kim Kardashian.

Hourglass figure, hourglass house.

2. Lindsay Lohan.

Damn girl, you're so fine you can bend space and time.

3. Beyoncé.

So fierce she can walk on wavy stairs.

4. Lady Gaga.

You burn more calories if you exercise on warped floors.

5. Tara Reid.

Somebody ate part of Tara Reid.

6. Peaches Geldof.

Maybe it's just really hot outside.

7. Phaedra Parks.

You heard it first from the Real Housewives star: blurry is in.

8. Miranda Kerr.

Beauty standards are so messed up that Kerr had to be edited to look even thinner. Neat, society is doomed!

9. Aubrey O'Day.

If you can tear your eyes away from the Danity Kane singer's butt, you'll see a positively Seussian deck chair.

10. Gordon Ramsay and Kris Jenner.

He posted the one on the left. She posted the one on the right. She paid for those premium filters.

11. John Mayer.

Maybe he's kidding with this? John Mayer is a "funny guy," right?

Workplace

Taylor Swift's presumed old MySpace page was as cute and dumb as yours was.

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It will come as a surprise to no one that pop star Taylor Swift was a somewhat normal teenage girl, and her MySpace page proves it. Screenshots of her account on the now-ancient social media site show lots of her comments, most of which are inside jokes and notes to friends, just like yours probably were, if you could remember back that far.

Awww, baby's first (supposedly) MySpace profile picture!

[Quick aside: these screencaps of her alleged comments were made a few years ago, so they can't be completely verified.]

She talks about her prom.

PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!! And as soon as I get my laptop back, I'll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you'll like. Because a certain girl might see it.

lovelovelove

-T-

AWWWW brittany i miss you so much. And yes, I can verify that you do know every word to that song. I love you for it. :-) . Prom was incredible, and thankyou so much for everything you've done in the past to make me feel welcomed into that whole group. You have always been so nice to me. Thankyou for everything. You may not have noticed but it really meant a lot to me.

She hated bad pictures of herself like any other normal human.

THAT PICTURE OF ME UP AT THE TOP IS GROSS.

THAT IS SICK TAKE IT DOWN.

It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGLY.

I want it off NOW.

but i loove you

Not yet old enough to drive in 2005.

My darling. 18 days til I get my license and I think we're going to have to go out in the hummer and shoot people we hate with a paintball gun out the passenger side window.

Abigail. and I have been planning this for a while.

You should totally come.

We hear you have good aim.

lovelovelove

-T-

Just your regular silly movie quote, like this one from Sahara.

uhhh..

"I shot some guy with a flare gun"-sahara

best line ever.

Taylor, "drunk as hell n crunk." Oh, young lady, no!

well thats no fun that you cant go to the beach…

we had a blast drinkin with yall. got drunk as hell n crunk…so we gotta do it again sometime.

-T-

A lot of her comments mention her best friend, Kelsey Morris. Awwww.

I am obsessed with you.

if you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmmmnn morris.

haha. end of story.

Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over..

I'm still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.

lovelovelove

-T-

You know you've been away too long when your best friend doesn't have any trace of you on her myspace anymore. Kelsey. I missss you.

I'm going over to ally's house tonight and if you're not there I'm going to walk over to your house and abduct you.

lovelovelove

-T-

One important thing she wanted you to know in 2006: Taylor did not want a boyfriend.

My name is Taylor. I am not clingy. I do not want a boyfriend.

I do not show signs of wanting a boyfriend.

I do not make hints leading on to the fact that I may want a boyfriend.

So how, tell me, on EARTH is it possible for someone confuse this issue and IGNORE me because:

they don't want a girlfriend.

(%(*..)%((IOJENTI..OWI$..)WO

-T-

Oh, Taylor, how much things change in 10 years.

Construction workers on a break demolish wall in character as Kool-Aid Man.

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This week's viral sketch, with over 600,000 views on LiveLeak, comes to you not from the cast of Saturday Night Live but a crew of construction workers screwing around on the job. In their sketch, which obviously had to be done in one really fun take, one of the guys does what anyone who's ever had the task/pleasure of demolishing a wall dreams of doing—busting directly through it like the Kool-Aid Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R6-BJNHAvc

Interestingly enough, this sketch comes just one week after an an investigation by Channel 7 Eyewitness News caught several New York City construction workers drinking fairly heavily during their lunch breaks, which is explicitly forbidden and not nearly as funny. 


Rihanna wore her handbag as a necklace, which no one else will be able to do without looking dumb.

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At Sunday night's Los Angeles Lakers game, Rihanna—pop star, style icon, and now fashion designer—blew the fashion world's collective minds by wearing her Dior "Diorama" handbag like a necklace. On RiRi it seems obvious and sensible, even if on anyone else it might look like a neck-based fanny pack.

https://twitter.com/Publicist_no1/status/707125035975249920

She didn't totally invent this idea, but she took it a step forward. Models for Proenza Schouler's Fall 2016 show on February 17 (as well as Prada's Fall 2016 show on February 25) wore their bags around their necks. This isn't exactly the same way that Rihanna wore hers, but similar basic idea.

Don't look so sad, you can take that mess off in just a few minutes!

Leave it to RiRi to be the first person to pull something cool from the runway and make it into a real trend. Also, you know, shoulders get tired.

Taylor Swift, the Internet's benevolent hero, donated $10,000 to help an autistic boy get his service dog.

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Five-year-old Jacob Hill needed donations to help his family afford his service dog. Luckily, the Internet has a service called GoFundMe, and it also has a service called Taylor Swift.

Jacob has autism and when his mother found a service dog program that would potentially help improve his social interactions and expand both his verbal and nonverbal communication, they knew they had to apply. Jacob qualified for the service dog program at Autism Service Dogs of America. The only problem was, the organization can't train a pup until it is completely paid for—and a service dog can cost upwards of $20,000. His nana, Susan Garcia, decided to create a GoFundMe page to obtain donations for Jacob so he can get his canine companion. 

Not only did his family set up the online fundraiser for donations, but Jacob's older sister and cousin used their savvy Internet skills to raise awareness for Jacob's cause. In January, they posted a sweet video of themselves singing their rendition of Taylor Swift’s ”Blank Space.” 

https://youtu.be/9l9SgpclGs0

Taylor, being the superstar donor that she is, discovered the video and donated $10,000 to Jacob.

Along with the donation, the Swifts also included a heartwarming message:

The donation was swifter than Taylor.

Thanks to Taylor and her momma as well as 59 total donors, Jacob surpassed his $10,000 goal and may soon have the service dog he and his family longed for.

The family wrote of their appreciation on the GoFundMe page:

Thank you so much to everyone that donated towards Jacob's autism service dog. We are still in shock that Taylor Swift donated $10,000! Our hearts are filled with joy and gratitude. This dog will change Jacob's life and we couldn't be more thankful.

Between snagging Grammy awards, Netflix-and-chilling with her beau, and performing teenage heartbreak music for die-hard Swifties, Taylor is a champ at handling her world-class priorities. Sorry Kanye, you’re not one of them.

Check out the GoFundMe page to see the latest updates on Jacob's fundraiser, here.

A promise of snacks led to a surprise appearance from J.K. Rowling at a Scottish book club.

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J.K. Rowling made a surprise apparition to a Scottish book club on Saturday. The group is called Saturday Slaughters, and they discuss crime fiction at Orkney Library, on a small remote island. Yes, that's correct, Orkney is a small island chain off the northeastern coast of Scotland, so it's not easy to hop on a plane and just go there (unless you're a wildly rich author).

Rowling decided to make the trek after learning the group was discussing the book The Cuckoo’s Calling, which Rowling wrote under the pen name Robert Galbraith:

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/705706832438960130

Here she is posing with an Orkney Library favorite:

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/706176731011538944

Librarian Stewart Bain described how they were—of course—stunned that Twitter's most prolific sub-tweeter showed up, and how everyone had a fantastic time:

It really was quite unbelievable. We had heard a rumor earlier that she had arrived in Orkney and then all of a sudden she was there. We gave her a tour of the library and then she came and sat in on the book group. Everyone was really quite gobsmacked.

After Rowling had expressed interest in attending the book club, the final enticement for her to show up was her favorite snack:

https://twitter.com/OrkneyLibrary/status/706036380128956416

She even brought them a sorting hat as a gift:

https://twitter.com/OrkneyLibrary/status/706152382997069828

Saturday Slaughters will never be the same. Don't be surprised if libraries across the United Kingdom start religiously serving lemon cake in hopes of a surprise visit. 

Kim Kardashian fires back at lame-o celebrities who dare criticize her nude selfie.

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Kim Kardashian is seen naked just as much as clothed, and one particular selfie set Twitter ablaze Monday night because there wasn't a presidential debate to distract us instead.

Famous insult comedian Bette Midler made a joke that particularly pissed Kim off:

https://twitter.com/BetteMidler/status/706914093567873024

Kim swooped it with a comeback:

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707077609964699648

And then took on the Divine Miss M directly:

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707079977204723714https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707080520937570304https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707081206173532161

It's just like the time Romney begged Trump for his endorsement, and then made that epic speech trying stop him!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/705362027901009921

Piers Morgan commented with some peak condescension (it's worth noting that the $53 million Kim K mentioned is the same amount of personal debt husband Kanye West claimed in a recent Twitter rant):

https://twitter.com/piersmorgan/status/706923295598370818

And she shot back with her best comeback yet:

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707079233810472960

Star of SNL South Korea, Chloë Grace Moretz, added her voice to the choir:

https://twitter.com/ChloeGMoretz/status/706986603810394112https://twitter.com/ChloeGMoretz/status/706987946633637888

To which The Kween said:

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707082941386461185

Oh sh*t.

Moretz than tried to clarify her comment:

https://twitter.com/ChloeGMoretz/status/707011823686393856https://twitter.com/ChloeGMoretz/status/707011849158402049

Kim stuck to her guns and released a new nude, which is the most impressive ad for her bikini waxer yet:

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707089027657150470

She'll keep sipping on that tea:

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707084467135852544

Don't mess with Kardashian West. 

Creepy dad goes behind the back of '26-year-old virgin' daughter to post personal ad in Christian magazine.

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In the employment opportunities section of Christian Today, a dad put out an ad seeking a "Son-In-Law." And to make matters even creepier, the eligible bachelorette didn't know about it until she was tipped off in the comments section of her blog.

Rachel Stewart is described by her father as a "godly, gorgeous, athletic, educated, careered, humorous, travelled, bilingual, 26-year-old virgin," which sounds a bit unholy coming from dad.

Jesus loves her and so will you.

Stewart wrote in a blog post, which has since been deleted, "At least it's appropriate they placed it in the Employment Opportunities section because putting up with this father-in-law's shenanigans is a full time job, without any paid vacation." 

Though there is no paid vacation, the relationship will likely come with benefits (after signing the contract of holy matrimony, of course). 

One commenter joked, "How many shekels would I have to give your father to have your hand? Or does he prefer land? Or livestock?" 

Stewart, while rightfully annoyed by the ad, came to her father's defense, challenging one commenter to "view this from the perspective of a loving father with pure intentions to find the best for his daughter. This has nothing to do with money and everything to do with encouraging singles to seek first the kingdom of God."

While Mr. Stewart does have the best intentions, here's hoping he never finds out about Craigslist. 

Drunk woman learns inspiring lesson from a homeless man, fortunately remembers it.

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Being stranded at the train station after a few too many drinks usually teaches people that they need to get their lives together, but one London woman recently learned a far more positive lesson when it happened to her. In a Facebook post, Nicole Sedgebeer shared her encounter with a homeless man named Mark who looked after her when she missed the last train home in a bad area.

https://www.facebook.com/nicole.sedgebeer/posts/10153302857006160

I hope this story makes people look twice when they see a homeless person. Last night I missed my last train home and when I finally got to Euston to wait till the morning, the station was locked. Just as I was about to burst into drunken tears I met my homeless friend Mark. He said he would take me to a cafe that was open as it was too dangerous to walk by myself. He left me after a coffee and a chat and explained that he had to go get his sleeping bag but he would be back at 5 to walk me back to the station. (Me being a typical bitch didn't believe he would come back) It got past 5 and he was a no show. As I got round the corner my homeless friend Mark was running down the street towards me. Not only did he turn up but he had to get a bus to come get me. This man who I probably would of avoided eye contact with if he asked for spare change, completely changed such a negative event into the most eye opening event in my life. Mark you are one special man, I will never look down on a homeless person again. This was also his first ever selfie!

Mark's inaugural selfie.

In a comment below the post, Sedgebeer added that she asked Mark why he felt inclined to help her.

When I asked him why he did it he said 'He said it was a fathers duty to get another mans daughter home safe'

On top of being a good-hearted individual, Mark also kind of sort of looks like Pedro Pascal, or Oberyn Martell, of Game of Thrones.

They may share looks and nobility, but here's to hoping Mark's fate is infinitely better than Oberyn's.

UPDATE: Nicole has set up this crowd-funding page and is trying to raise £1,000 ($1422) to help Mark. Please check it out and consider donating!

Samantha Bee shoots the breeze with experts who train students to take down school shooters.

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On Monday night's Full Frontal, Samantha Bee took a look at the mass shooting drills several states are requiring students to go through because the threat of someone opening fire on a group of kids is unfortunately the norm in our country. But, with a sharp pencil and a willingness to run towards a rifle-wielding maniac to stab their eyes out, high schoolers may be their own best protection against school shootings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxgEeTScnTw

Welcome to the new normal!


Article 34

Pregnant fitness model Chontel Duncan posts her workout routine and it all makes sense now.

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Chontel Duncan is a pregnant fitness model who has better abs in her third trimester than anyone—even those not gestating a fetus. 

Last week, a photo of Duncan comparing baby bumps with a friend, who's only four weeks ahead in her pregnancy, went viral for representing how different women carry their babies differently.

The kids are friends already.

People on the internet were confused and mesmerized by the photo, so Duncan started posting videos of her workouts to show how she keeps in such good shape even when she has this obvious excuse not to. While a lot of the look has to do with the shape she was in before the pregnancy, she's been keeping her workouts up in the months since conception.

Here she is boxing in what should be the next Rocky reboot:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCpZVC8Jb9y/?taken-by=chontelduncan&hl=en

She writes:

Tonight's workout was on point, even though sooooo much is now modified for me, I am SUPER grateful for my pre pregnancy health condition that has allowed my body to absolutely smash this pregnancy & provided me with the ability to keep moving now almost at 37 weeks.

Here she is doing weights instead of gaining weight:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCoQMyLpbyE/?taken-by=chontelduncan&hl=en

Here's some slow motion action:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCcMZasJbx1/?taken-by=chontelduncan&hl=en

And a pilates selfie at six months:

https://www.instagram.com/p/_nQhGWpb6g/?taken-by=chontelduncan&hl=en

And this circuit with a dope soundtrack at 24 weeks:

https://www.instagram.com/p/_G4w5gJby3/?taken-by=chontelduncan&hl=en

Soon, she'll have a new workout buddy to come to the gym with her.

Amy Schumer calls out 'Bachelor' host for criticizing a contestant for being 'complicated.'

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After Monday night's special "Women Tell All" episode of The Bachelor, comedian Amy Schumer took to Twitter to point out to the show's host, Chris Harrison, that "complicated" doesn't mean "bad."

The episode featured a one-on-one conversation between Harrison and a former contestant (and actual war veteran) Jubilee Sharpe. She had referred to herself as complicated a few times during the season, mainly because Sharpe feels she's guarded and because her past involved her whole family dying.

https://twitter.com/JubileeSharpe1/status/706535843008286720

At one point, Harrison told Jubilee, "I know you can't control how complicated you are." And that's when Schumer decided to show her support for Sharpe and share her thoughts on the matter.

https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707033032809701378https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707035091369910273https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707035332752097280https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707036129472679936

Chris Harrison responded to Schumer on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/chrisbharrison/status/707078319460585474https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707078618896322560https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707080648507396096https://twitter.com/chrisbharrison/status/707081765341376513https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/707087299767627776https://twitter.com/chrisbharrison/status/707089292556808192

Just a little banter, and all's well that ends well. Between Schumer and Harrison, that is. As for the rest of season of The Bachelor, that remains to be seen. It's complicated.

Britney Spears posts Instagram of herself dancing in a bikini on the beach. Is it 1998 again?

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Britney Spears, haver of excellent abs, is living her best life right now (Ed. note: There's no way to know that for sure), and she shared some of the fun with her fans in the form of a dancing bikini video posted to Instagram on Friday. In it, she runs around in an orange bathing suit on a beautiful beach while Mark Ronson's "Feel Right" plays in the background. She captioned the looping vid, "Happy Friday!" 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCi2ZyjG8OP/

Later that day, she posted what appears to be a Britney-in-a-bikini-less photo of the same scenery.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCjCnAtm8JL/?taken-by=britneyspears

It's not the first time the pop star has writhed in a bikini on Instagram, and it likely isn't the last. Whether it is the most important remains to be seen.

Related:

Grenache Restaurant has succinct message for customers who disrespected their autistic employee: GTFO.

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Sometimes restaurants do unforgivable things to devoted customers, but there are also definitely times when customers flat out suck at being customers. One restaurant owner in the U.K. laid the smack-down on a few patrons who thought they could get away with being rude to one of his employees. Mike Jennings, who owns a restaurant called Grenache, posted a powerful message on Facebook to stand up for a 45-year-old waiter, Andy Foster, who has autism.

https://www.facebook.com/grenacherestaurant/photos/a.433683533363278.104215.102141586517476/1078876725510619/?type=3&theater

"Thoughts on an incident which occurred last night... Totally unacceptable," the owner captioned his photo. "Strongly worded but we need to get our point across. #equalopportunities."

According to the Facebook post, the customers asked Jennings, "What is wrong with him (Andy Foster)?” and "Why did you give him a job?"

The customers, who apparently suffer from a disease called being dicks, still inquired for another server even after Jennings told them that Foster had autism.

Foster told the Manchester Evening News that he knows he wasn't in the habit of giving customers terrible service, because he had just received a huge tip from another table. "I try not to take it personally because it has happened so many times in the past I have just got used to it," he said. "The customers said they didn't know I was autistic, but I shouldn't have to walk around with a T-shirt on explaining it."

At first, Jennings was hesitant to post the message on Facebook because he didn't want people to think that he or the restaurant staff were "being rude," but he said "we need to stand up for what we believe in! Our staff are our foundation and this is our way of standing up for them!"

In this case, it is totally okay for Jennings to follow the footsteps of this French café, who have found a somewhat extreme method to deal with rude customers.

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