A group of women put on historic underwear for the Irish Facts YouTube channel, and overall, they weren't too impressed with the fashion or the function.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjh08PzW_Zc
First they tried a "stay," which is another name for a corset worn in the 16th century, with a long hoop skirt attached, designed to give fuller shape to dresses.
"My tits aren't happy. Definitely boob prison."
Next they tried a "bustle," which was worn in the 19th century to hold up a woman's skirt behind her, giving it an extra-poofy shape.
"It is actually like an accordion attached to a bum."
They tried a model of the first bra, made by Mary Phelps in 1914 as a more comfortable alternative to the corset. It was maybe a little too comfortable.
"There's NO support in it whatsoever."
Then they wore a latex "waist trainer"—a modern version of the corset popularized most recently by the Kardashians.
"I do feel like I've been unwillingly put into a condom. "
The women commented that the styles went from restrictive, to more loose-fitting, and now, back to restrictive again. So, THANKS FASHION!
John Legend dropped by Jimmy Kimmel Live on Monday to add lyrics to the Downton Abbey theme song. The PBS series recently ended after six seasons, so Legend honored it by adding hilarious lyrics to the instrumental theme. The show featured characters that were very rich, British, and white, which made them an easy target for Legend. His sweet voice should have been part of the show's song this whole time:
In the season premiere of I Am Cait, Caitlyn Jenner, a self-described Ted Cruz fan, slammed Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton while also defending the GOP, a political party not known for touting progressive views on the LGBTQ community. The comments were made in response to her friends' excitement for the Democratic debate they were planning to attend.
We need both sides and if we’re unfortunate enough get Hillary as our next president, we need her on our side. Although she won’t be. She couldn’t care less about women. She cares about herself.
Oof. Sick burn, although Hillary's heard far worse (just watch any Republican debate). When asked which GOP candidate would be the most supportive of transgendered people, Jenner replied, "all of them."
Republicans and conservatives are not these horrible people who are trying oppress people. They’re just not talking about [trans issues]. For the Republicans it’s not a big issue. The economy’s the big issue. They’re just worried about 18 trillion dollars of debt.
Take a good look outside today and remember the world as it was before the advent of the personal butter sprayer from Biem. The device itself seems nice enough—made of stainless steel with a smudge-proof silicone grip, the device heats up a butter you insert yourself and sprays it onto, well, whatever you want. But it implies a new era of food insanity, because once you get this ability, you will want to spray it on everything. Because you can.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SytgpJzY3Uw
The Biem butter-sprayer was funded by a Kickstarter, because some people apparently want to watch the world fail to burn off all these calories. Speaking about why the world needed this now, founder Doug Foreman wrote,
Thanks to recent studies, butter is making its way back into peoples lives. In fact: Butter consumption in the U.S. has hit a 40-year high. Unfortunately, the way butter is served hasn’t changed in decades…so we thought: what if we could re-imagine the way people store and use butter?
Yes, the problem with American cuisine was the crucial bottleneck keeping butter from being applied quickly enough. They even use the brand name as a verb. You don't spray the butter onto your food—you Biem it.
"You can even use the Biem with coconut oil...if that's what you like." Damn, Biem, for a hot butter spray, you're cold.
You can Biem pans for cooking, chickens for roasting, eggs, toasts, popcorns, steaks, donuts, potatoes, your lovers, muffins, bagels, kale salad, more butter, soups, a spot on your hand that you lick, pizza, pretzels, pre-peeled oranges that cause online outrage cycles, Brie cheese, Diet Coke, protein bars, your juice cleanse, Jolly Ranchers—once you acquire the power to spray butter, it's hard to limit yourself to things that normally have butter on them.
Enjoy these last few days before the world is covered in a thin sheen of delicious sprayed butter.
Good news, American Harry Potter fans: J.K. Rowling finally wrote brand-new stories for you, and it's something that doesn't require you to know what a "prefect" is (it's like a British hall monitor, but more powerful)! And the new stories will be released on her Pottermore website beginning today, March 8.
https://twitter.com/EW/status/706841972913233920
Rowling is publishing a complete history of magic in North America from the 14th century onwards all week on Pottermore, in anticipation of the Potter prequel movie Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them, set in upstate New York and New York City.Study up on it before the Ilvermorny AP exams.
"Consider this my apology for Pottermore sorting you into Hufflepuff."
(If it seems weird to you that everyone still really cares about a book series that wrapped up nearly 9 years ago...well, tough, because Millennials control the world now, grandpa!)
Prior to today, Rowling had revealed that Americans attend Ilvermorny, a wizarding school somewhere near the New York/Quebec border, and that in America, Muggles are called "No-Majs," which makes sense because, like most American slang, it's inferior to its British counterpart. She also revealed what other schools around the world are called.
Now, she has revealed the history of Native American wizards and witches up through European colonization of the Americas in the 17th century.
The big news is that European wizards and witches knew about America way before Muggles did, thanks to magical transportation methods, along with premonitions (apparently, give or take an occasional Death Eater, wizards are way less dickish than Muggles and don't feel the need to start a genocide every time they come across a new patch of land).
There were lots of similarities between European and American witches and wizards—magical people occurred at about the same low rate—as well as lots of differences. There is the legend of skin walkers:
The legend of the Native American ‘skin walker’ – an evil witch or wizard that can transform into an animal at will – has its basis in fact. A legend grew up around the Native American Animagi, that they had sacrificed close family members to gain their powers of transformation. In fact, the majority of Animagi assumed animal forms to escape persecution or to hunt for the tribe. Such derogatory rumours often originated with No-Maj medicine men, who were sometimes faking magical powers themselves, and fearful of exposure.
Animagi are wizards who can turn into animals, like Sirius Black and Professor McGonagall. But if you're reading this, you probably know that.
American wizards also did not use a wand, which is, apparently, a European invention:
The Native American wizarding community was particularly gifted in animal and plant magic, its potions in particular being of a sophistication beyond much that was known in Europe. The most glaring difference between magic practised by Native Americans and the wizards of Europe was the absence of a wand.
The magic wand originated in Europe. Wands channel magic so as to make its effects both more precise and more powerful, although it is generally held to be a mark of the very greatest witches and wizards that they have also been able to produce wandless magic of a very high quality. As the Native American Animagi and potion-makers demonstrated, wandless magic can attain great complexity, but Charms and Transfiguration are very difficult without one.
Later this week, Rowling will talk about the Salem witch trials and the "Magical Congress of the United States of America." Count on many sites, including this one, to report on it like this stuff is real. It's exciting!
In the largest slice-to-head size disparity since Pizza Rat, this little girl at a Philadelphia Flyers game recently scarfed down a monster slice of pizza so fiercely that it distracted the game's commentators. The NHL has released a video of the incident, and the commentators' incredulity is 100% genuine.
Unfortunately, these guys had a game to commentate, otherwise they clearly would've continued marveling at the slice's quality and the girl's speed of consumption until every last bite of that thing was gone. The Flyers ended up winning 6-0, but after this, who cares? If she ever eats another one of those bad boys, professional announcers need to be on standby to provide more bite-by-bite commentary.
Bette Midler has fired back at Kim Kardashian after the reality show star made the regrettable mistake of insulting someone who can quite convincingly be called the most talented person of all time. Bette Midler has four Golden Globes, three Grammys, three Emmys, one Tony, and two Academy Award nominations. Kim Kardashian has her own emoji app. This is the most lopsided Twitter feud since your racist cousin tweeted "wheres ur birth certificate" at Barack Obama.
Here is the funny joke that Midler made that garnered the ire of Mrs. Kanye West:
Bernie Sanders' campaign wanted to commemorate the the 51st anniversary of the Selma march with a photo and caption on Twitter. Instead of tweeting a photo from the actual demonstration in 1965, however, someone from the Bernie squad posted a photo from the 2014 film, Selma.
Color TV did exist in the 1960s, but actor David Oyelowo didn't.
The tweet was removed from Bernie’s account “26 minutes after it was posted," Politico reported. However, two related tweets remain active on the Democratic presidential candidate's account:
Aww, look at that happy 70s family! Dad and son are both wearing stripes, and the family's cat is nestled underneath mom's arm...oh, hold up, sorry, that's not actually a pet—it's Mrs. DiCaprio's armpit hair. No big deal, it was the 70s, after all. Plus, to this day, a great many women have no interest in shaving their armpit hair. Hey, neither do men.
But "no big deal" doesn't actually exist in the world of the Internet. Here are just some of the roughly 7,500 comments the picture has received, approximately 99 percent of which are about—yep, you guessed it—the extremely important and relevant topic of Mrs. DiCaprio's armpits. (Warning: The NSFW language of total morons lies ahead.)
Sheep shearing themselves, man. Not way back in the prehistoric 70s, though!"If you don't shave your pits, you probably can't use soap either." Logic!Kaylee, men are allowed to do whatever they want. Make sense now?"If you don't remove hair that grows naturally, you're not a woman." Um, wait.Guess what, still okay today, too!This guy knows what's up with women, and also how stupid spelling is.A voice of reason.Well, you are looking at pictures wrong then.
The important question here is: should Mrs. DiCaprio go back in time and shave her pits, knowing how important her son is to to world now?
March 8th is International Women's Day, the one day out of the 365 in a year to celebrate females and their many accomplishments.
Blast Beyoncé's "Run the World (Girls)" from your speakers, because while it is true that girls run the world year round, it is officially on the calendar on a seemingly arbitrary day in March.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmMU_iwe6U
Here are the 24 best tweets about International Women's Day, one for each hour given to women by the patriarchy.
A New York Times article on Monday reported that Trump's ceaseless rhetoric antagonizing Mexican immigrants (and Latinos in general, and Muslims, and etc.) might haunt him at the polls, as legal residents seek to naturalize so they can vote against him.
Over all, naturalization applications increased by 11 percent in the 2015 fiscal year over the year before, and jumped 14 percent during the six months ending in January, according to federal figures. The pace is picking up by the week, advocates say, and they estimate applications could approach one million in 2016, about 200,000 more than the average in recent years.
It's a fantastic irony that the tweet below, sent by Donald Trump in 2013 and mocked for the uneducated claim that illegal immigrants—who cannot vote—would vote for GOP opponents, has become a self-fulfilling prophecy (except with legal immigrants).
Again: the people who are now applying for citizenship are legal immigrants who simply had not yet gone through the second bureaucratic step of naturalization. Many political strategists long thought that Latino immigrants—many of whom come from Catholic backgrounds with a strong emphasis on family—would be a toss-up between Democrats and Republicans. Trump may be ending that hope.
While promising to build a wall and name-calling immigrants as "rapists" who are "bringing drugs" and "bringing crime" doesn't usually fall under the category of "immigration reform," Trump's special brand of immigration policy is doing just what he said it would. Driving immigrants to the polls. Except they're not "illegals," of course.
"Among [the] 8.8 million legal residents eligible to naturalize, about 2.7 million are Mexicans," writes the New York Times. Deputy director of the National Partnership for New Americans, Tara Raghuveer, told the paper, "People who are eligible are really feeling the urgency to get out there. They are worried by the prospect that someone who is running for president has said hateful things."
On Monday, some coworkers near Tolar, Texas captured a tornado on video. In addition to documenting one of nature's most powerful nightmares, they also provided some occasionally hilarious (and very Texan) narration of the tornado ripping through. Thankfully, the tornado wasn't as devastating as it could have been; there were reports of injuries and property damage, but thankfully no fatalities.
You hear that buzzing? That's the Internet, still buzzing over the naked selfie Kim Kardashian posted to Twitter on Monday. Oh, how that buzzing deafens!
In the time since she uploaded the image, the controversies have just piled on top of one another. First, she was called out for posting an old picture instead of showing off her post-baby bod. Then, celebrities like Chloe Grace Moretz and Bette Midler took shots at her, so she hit back with a Twitter rant worthy of her husband. Then, Bette Midler responded, and the Internet truly broke.
Now, another beloved celebrity from the past has weighed in with his own unique take. Danny Tamberelli, well-known to 90s kids for his role as Little Pete in The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Of course, he's not little anymore—Tamberelli is 34, just slightly younger than Kim Kardashian. So there's nothing inappropriate about him showing a little skin too. That's exactly what he did, channeling Kim for an unforgettable selfie he posted to his own Instagram account.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BCp--chN9fN/
The caption reads:
When you like don't have a job LOL! Monday's got me like@kimkardashian #sorrynotsorry#whoworeitbetter #careerkiller
Little Pete's still got it. And for the record, he definitely wore it better. Tamberelli then took to Twitter to explain his artwork:
Take that, Kim! Not only has he taken an even more erotic selfie than yours, he's called you out and declared his support for #TeamBette. This feud is becoming a war.
The presidential election is still nine months away, but it has already brought America both a lot of comedy and tragedy. Some of the jokes are already starting to feel old in this long slog to Inauguration Day, but the fine folks at Funny or Die got a fresh take: showing the election from the Finn's eye view. Finland's eighth-finest (fake) news team reported on the Super Tuesday results and how Mr. Business Wig is leading the Cowboy Elephants and the wife of former President Saxophone leads among the Hippie Donkeys.
In the early 2000s, when Jennifer Lopez was one of the most famous women in the world (and sparked the first modern celebrity portmanteau, Bennifer), fellow singer/actress Mariah Carey was asked the question "What do you think of Jennifer Lopez?" Carey's response became a legendary meme:
TMZ asked her about the moment this week. Her response? "I still don't know her."
On February 4, a self-described "arachnophobic" family in Sydney, Australia got a big bonus inside the package when they brought home a bag of salad greens they'd purchased at Woolworths, only to find the bag had already been claimed by another shopper—a large Huntsman spider.
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, Woolworths responded to Perry: "We're very concerned about this Zoe, and take incidents like this very seriously. Please let us know your phone number and state...so that we can follow this up with you ASAP. Thanks." YOU'RE WELCOME, WOOLWORTHS, GLAD TO HELP. Of course, this is hardly the first incident Woolworths has had:
The Huntsman spider (which is mostly harmless, but certainly huge) was still alive, crawling around in the bag of Italian Style Salad greens. Perhaps it was trying to get a taste of a country it would probably never get to see. Perry's video has now been viewed on Facebook more than 7 million times. And as for the "arachnophobic" part... does the Perry family realize where they live?
