Let's get together so we can not get together for a while.

March 12, 2014, 8:55 am

≫ Next: I got a full eight hours of sleep this week.

≪ Previous: Spring break in your 30s is an hour at work creepily staring at Facebook photos of people on spring break in their 20s.

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I got a full eight hours of sleep this week.

March 12, 2014, 9:26 am

≫ Next: 17 Painfully Accurate Hashtags for Couples

≪ Previous: Let's get together so we can not get together for a while.

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17 Painfully Accurate Hashtags for Couples

March 12, 2014, 10:24 am

≫ Next: I promise to be there for you when you hate a show everyone else loves.

≪ Previous: I got a full eight hours of sleep this week.

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I promise to be there for you when you hate a show everyone else loves.

March 12, 2014, 10:25 am

≫ Next: Just another friendly reminder that I'm not obsessing about you.

≪ Previous: 17 Painfully Accurate Hashtags for Couples

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Just another friendly reminder that I'm not obsessing about you.

March 12, 2014, 1:39 pm

≫ Next: I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

≪ Previous: I promise to be there for you when you hate a show everyone else loves.

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I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

March 12, 2014, 5:01 pm

≫ Next: You always manage to put a fake smile on my face.

≪ Previous: Just another friendly reminder that I'm not obsessing about you.

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You always manage to put a fake smile on my face.

March 13, 2014, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I'm uncomfortable even in my comfort zone.

≪ Previous: I want to put you on a pedestal and not just so I can look up your skirt.

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I'm uncomfortable even in my comfort zone.

March 13, 2014, 8:14 am

≫ Next: I wish I could outsource my exercise.

≪ Previous: You always manage to put a fake smile on my face.

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I wish I could outsource my exercise.

March 13, 2014, 9:20 am

≫ Next: Sorry the closest you'll get to a wet t-shirt contest this March is watching old sweaty guys undress in the gym locker room.

≪ Previous: I'm uncomfortable even in my comfort zone.

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Sorry the closest you'll get to a wet t-shirt contest this March is watching old sweaty guys undress in the gym locker room.

March 13, 2014, 9:44 am

≫ Next: I hope your birthday falling on Throwback Thursday gives you the illusion of being younger.

≪ Previous: I wish I could outsource my exercise.

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I hope your birthday falling on Throwback Thursday gives you the illusion of being younger.

March 13, 2014, 10:02 am

≫ Next: 26 Facebook Life Events That Should Totally Exist

≪ Previous: Sorry the closest you'll get to a wet t-shirt contest this March is watching old sweaty guys undress in the gym locker room.

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26 Facebook Life Events That Should Totally Exist

March 13, 2014, 10:45 am

≫ Next: I'm almost as terrified of getting pregnant as I am of being too old to get pregnant.

≪ Previous: I hope your birthday falling on Throwback Thursday gives you the illusion of being younger.

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I'm almost as terrified of getting pregnant as I am of being too old to get pregnant.

March 13, 2014, 10:56 am

≫ Next: This St. Patrick's Day, I hope you see a little mischievous half-man who isn't Justin Bieber.

≪ Previous: 26 Facebook Life Events That Should Totally Exist

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This St. Patrick's Day, I hope you see a little mischievous half-man who isn't Justin Bieber.

March 13, 2014, 11:28 am

≫ Next: Just a heads up that by the end of St. Patrick's Day I'll be speaking like John Travolta.

≪ Previous: I'm almost as terrified of getting pregnant as I am of being too old to get pregnant.

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Just a heads up that by the end of St. Patrick's Day I'll be speaking like John Travolta.

March 13, 2014, 11:45 am

≫ Next: 7 Signs You'll Want To Put Up In Your Office But Can't

≪ Previous: This St. Patrick's Day, I hope you see a little mischievous half-man who isn't Justin Bieber.

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7 Signs You'll Want To Put Up In Your Office But Can't

March 13, 2014, 11:50 am

≫ Next: The only thing I exercise is my right to be out of shape.

≪ Previous: Just a heads up that by the end of St. Patrick's Day I'll be speaking like John Travolta.

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The only thing I exercise is my right to be out of shape.

March 13, 2014, 11:55 am

≫ Next: Happy birthday to someone who hopefully sees this before it gets buried in their Facebook feed.

≪ Previous: 7 Signs You'll Want To Put Up In Your Office But Can't

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Happy birthday to someone who hopefully sees this before it gets buried in their Facebook feed.

March 13, 2014, 12:50 pm

≫ Next: I hope I die doing what I love, looking down at my phone while walking into traffic.

≪ Previous: The only thing I exercise is my right to be out of shape.

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I hope I die doing what I love, looking down at my phone while walking into traffic.

March 13, 2014, 1:36 pm

≫ Next: May you vomit less on St. Patrick's Day than Oscar Pistorius at his murder trial.

≪ Previous: Happy birthday to someone who hopefully sees this before it gets buried in their Facebook feed.

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May you vomit less on St. Patrick's Day than Oscar Pistorius at his murder trial.

March 13, 2014, 1:45 pm

≫ Next: I complete me.

≪ Previous: I hope I die doing what I love, looking down at my phone while walking into traffic.

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