Rae Votta is a writer over at The Daily Dot, who recently discovered a treasure trove of messages from her mother. Rae's mom, Nancy, has been tweeting messages intended for her daughter for years. Evidently, she either thought they were texts or direct messages. 

"My mom doesn't know it, but she’s the queen of subtweets. She’s a whole subtweet feed just for me. My mom is my own personal troll," Votta wrote, "I discovered an amazing run of tweets dating back to 2014 until now. So trying to work backwards and decipher what my mom was subtweeting me about is now my new life’s work."

The result is a magnificent insight into what other moms text their daughters. Basically, the same things your mom texts you. 

If you don't have the best relationship with your mom, see if she has a Twitter and has been actually saying "I love you" for years. 

When prompted with the question, "What secret do you know that could destroy someone?" people on Reddit delivered with stories that are really great to read—if you never want to trust another person again. 

So if you've got a big secret you hope no one ever finds out, you may want to double check someone hasn't shared it on Reddit already. Users are apparently quite comfortable spilling deep, dark secrets that aren't theirs to tell. But since human relationships are necessary in this thing called life, here are 17 of the lighter secrets people shared, and hopefully they won't ruin your faith in humanity.

1. A certain kink runs in the family for SelfProclaimedBadAss.

I don't know if anyone would be destroyed... Found my Grandparents on a swinger site my wife and I occasionally get hook-ups on...

We've seen them a handful of times since no awkward-ness... I predict 0 chance of them not seeing our profile...

Nobody else in my family knows, and there's a good chance they would be weirded out if nothing else... 

2. Sp00ky_meme_'s acquaintance is just a "bit" out there.

Dude I know robbed a liqour store, got away with it, overall he's an alright guy albeit a bit eccentric.

3. Parents of high schoolers, don't tell your kids about 2Dfruity's friend.

My friend never actually graduated from high school. He photoshopped a diploma and took a photo of himself in a cap and gown with some random adults. No one really bothers checking credentials for high school.

4. J3w had a very cool boss.

I interned with a local political body (ie city council, not gonna be specific) for a few years, became a staffer, got to know a few of the pols really well. One of them climbed the party ladder very well and is now a Congress-person.

This person is cool as shit and I think they're a damn good rep for their district, but they have very radical political beliefs that they only really talk about in private...

...when they be getting HIGH AS MOTHERFUCKIN BOB MARLEY.

5. Narangatang411 should not joke about this.

That she's Becky with the good hair.

6. Callme_Ev's high school buys really expensive training shorts. 

My HS football coach has a mulch fundraiser for the team every year. We raise about $50,000 annually. I talked with one of the football parents who is in charge of the money, and they said they only received about $10,000 and when they asked where the rest of the money was, the coach said he was using it on equipment. The only new "equipment" players got was two t shirts and training shorts. 

This explains how he could afford brand new cars for his daughters on a teacher's salary.

7. Seansquanch's friend was into cougars, apparently.

My buddy made out with another buddies mom at a bonfire while the husband was out of town. This was a year after high school.

8. DatPiff916 might want to start gathering alibis.

My white co-worker has been cheating on her white husband with a black guy. She tells her husband that she sometimes comes to the office on weekends to get work done, she has been going to the other guys house. One time her and her husband came by the office to drop off an extra table from their house for an event, I was in the office as I often work weekends. The husband kind of gave me a funny look as she asked what was I doing there because "she never see's me here when she comes in on weekends".

She is now pregnant, overheard her talking telling someone that the baby isn't her husbands.

She is nervous.

I'm the only black guy in the office.

I'm nervous.

9. This story will give you lots of faith in doctors.

10. But VrolokDastan, does Courtney like him back?

Many years ago a friend of mine told me he liked Courtney. Whatever you guys do, don't tell Courtney.

11. Throwawayacct0123's brother discovered his love for animals at a young age.

I once caught my younger brother fucking our sister's life size stuffed tiger. He now works for PETA.

12. Keenedge422's story works out for everyone in the end. Maybe.

Acquaintance intentionally screwed with his wife's birth control to get her pregnant, because he figured the kid would keep her busy while he's sleeping around. Turns out he genuinely loves being a dad and said the kid is the best thing that has ever happened to him.

His wife was sleeping around when he did it and there's a 50% chance the kid isn't his.

13. Suits is grounded in reality, according to ZaxonsBlade.

The other is that my cousin is practicing law at his fathers firm. He was sent to college for years out of state, his father paid the tuition and all living expenses the entire time. He never graduated or even sat for the Bar. He even has a fake degree on his wall.

14. NOTtrentRICHARDSON's friend Justin was truthful about how much money he spent.

Justin didn't lose $500 at the blackjack table in Vegas. He spent it on a prostitute.

15. Everybody go and fix your YouTube settings after reading linkthelove's post.

16. At least everybody got some in ronerychiver's story.

17. ​annoying_spartan's secret can never be revealed.

Grandma buys premade cookie dough.

DAMNING. That could destroy Grandma's reputation.

If one thing is apparent, it is that parents love to tell other parents how to parent. From mommy bloggers to random Facebook friends, it would seem that everyone knows how to raise your kid better than you do, but sometimes things are more controversial than what brand of organic carrots sticks you should be feeding your children. Mallory Torres, a mother of three from Corpus Christi, Texas came under fire when she uploaded this photo her seven-year-old daughter Mackenzie riding on the back of her boyfriend's motorcycle. 

It is a little unnerving to see those little pink sneakers and that child's backpack on the back of a bike, but as long as a child is over five and wearing a helmet, he or she is legally allowed to be on the back of a motorcycle in Texas. If this video is any indication, Mackenzie seems pretty at ease about it, too. 

But not everyone agreed with Torres's decision to put her kid on the back of the bike. When Torres's boyfriend, John Hays, put the picture up on a local Facebook page, it started garnering a lot of hate.

Then, Mallory Torres uploaded this passionate rebuttal in response to the haters to defend her choices.

Some of you may have seen this picture on Facebook, and some of you may have even seen this in person. It was posted in a motorcycle group by a fellow motorist. This is my 7 year old daughter riding home from school on a motorcycle. Yes. She's 7, and she's on a motorcycle. "Why?" Some of you may ask... Because I love my daughter. That's right... I LOVE MY DAUGHTER and she loves to ride, so I allow her to ride on the back of a motorcycle in full gear with my boyfriend who has 20+ years of experience. This was not her first time, she has had experience. I followed closely behind on her first ride, and i as a mother, felt that she did great and that she could handle it again. She also wants a bike of her own which is why we AS PARENTS feel the need to give her as much passenger riding experience as possible before she is allowed to ride on her own. 
"But it's dangerous". -yes... but so is allowing your children to participate in sports. 
"But she can get hurt". -yes, but how many times has your child gotten a bruise, scrape, or hell even a broken bone from a sport? Want to know how many MY daughter has had? Zero. That's right. NOT ONE SCRAPE, BUMP OR BRUISE from riding. 
"But there are idiots on the road that you can't control" -absolutely right. But that doesn't prevent you from driving on the road with your children as passengers does it? Didn't think so. And i can guarantee you have looked down at the radio or phone a time or two, but cyclists know how cautious they have to be of idiot drivers (like the ones looking down at their phone) and do not allow any distractions while riding.

We've been called "bad parents" for allowing her to ride. Bad parents??? Hahahaha. NO. Our children are fed, they are happy, they are healthy, they are up to date on all of their shots and healthcare visits, they are punished when they misbehave and they are praised when they do good. They are EARLY every day to school, they do well in school, we are both stay at home parents that run a home based business together which means that WE raise or children. Not sitters or daycare. Everything we do we do for THEM. As parents, we also encourage our children to do the things that they enjoy, which just so happens that one of them loves to ride. We do not leave our kids at home alone for some random stranger to find them wandering the streets. We do not leave them locked inside of hot cars. We do not abuse our kids (physically, verbally or emotionally), we do not leave them in the care of strangers and RARELY even leave them in the care of a babysitter for a few hours. WE ARE GREAT PARENTS. If you want to keep your child in a bubble, by all means go for it. If you wouldn't allow your child on the back of a motorcycle, then don't, that's your choice as a parent and I support you. But do not call us bad parents because we don't lock our kids in their bedroom with iPads and cell phones. Don't call us bad parents for allowing our children to experience LIVING. Don't call us bad parents for enjoying putting a smile on our kids face every now and then with a motorcycle ride home after school. I WILL continue to allow my daughter to ride if she wants to. I WILL continue to be the best parent I can be. I WILL continue to keep my kids happy and pray that they are safe whether it be at school, at home, at a friend's house, on the basketball court, or on a motorcycle. I'll tell you what i WON'T do though. I won't keep my child from riding just because a handful of close minded, ignorant people think they are the definition of a "perfect parent".
THERE IS NO POINT IN BEING ALIVE IF YOU AREN'T LIVING!!!❤ #isupportmychildonabike 

Many parents uploaded pictures of their young motorcycling offspring to show solidarity with Torres, Hays and Mackenzie. 

Watch out haters, it looks like there are enough pint-sized riders to form a miniature biker gang. 

This year, the Invictus Games—an athletic event for wounded service people that Prince Harry launched in 2014—are coming to Florida. That's in the U.S., where President Obama and First Lady Michelle reign supreme. To let the prince know she's not threatened by the British monarch stepping on her turf, the First Lady sent Harry a message over social media.  

Slick, right?

Harry responded on Twitter quite quickly. 

Oh, Prince Harry topped that, with the help of his grandmother.

Damn. This feud's greater than that war that happened a couple centuries ago. But allegiances are even more blurred for those on American soil this time, because: Prince Harry's face, and the Queen's attitude.

Cher took a shot at Trump on Twitter on Thursday, and ended her criticism by saying that Trump's sons killed her friend. The constantly all-caps Cher has previously established that she enjoys throwing shade at Trump on Twitter. This time around, she decided to take a shot at the size of his manhood. But this was a rather bold and mysterious way to end the tweet:

Naturally people were curious about that last line, "Ps.HIS SON KILLED MY FRIEND." It's a pretty big bomb to drop as a postscript. So, what on earth did Cher mean? It turns out that the image of Trump with a lion reminded Cher of the death of her friends on the African Savanna.

Apparently, Eric and Donald Trump, Jr. are avid fans of big game hunting, and Cher is an outspoken animal rights activist. She clarified which of her friends the Trumps killed: 

It would be really impressive if Cher was actually close personal friends with leopards, elephants and waterbucks. It's unclear how often she travels to Sub-Saharan Africa, or how often big game animals travel to her home in Malibu. Eric had this to say in response:

No, that's not Eric, but it's always worth noting that Eric looks an awful lot like the character Francis from Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Neither Trump nor his sons actually replied to Cher's comments. There has also been no official response from any of Cher's other animal friends.

After Filipina TV host and model Bianca Gonzalez-Intal posted a picture of her 6-month-old daughter Lucia to Instagram, the haters came out of the cyber-woodwork to hate on the baby's dark skin. In many Asian countries, including the Philippines, lighter skin is seen as more preferable, and sales skin-lightening procedures and creams have skyrocketed in recent years. Yeah, not even infants are safe from the scorn of comment sections, as BuzzFeed's report proves. Here's the picture in question.

A commenter immediately chimed in with nothing nice to say.

Bianca responded with grace.

But then another very misguided commenter acted as though Bianca and Lucia were victims of their pigment.

Bianca struck back again with another graceful retort to the dunces barraging her photo with hateful comments.

She then put the kibosh on all talk of dark skin being a negative trait in a throwback photo from her adolescence, which was a period where Bianca felt insecure about her skin color.

Here's the full message.

Ten-year-old-me to bullies calling me ‘negra’ be like​ [two fingers pointing up emojis] .. [two crying of joy emojis] Fast-forward to me in my thirties, and haters still bully me ‘negra’.

I was insecure when I was young until I discovered my talents and built real friendships and realized skin color doesn’t matter.
The past few days have been so eye-opening, to find out that so many people are still bullied for being dark. It’s 2016! Do you still believe that lighter skin is ‘more beautiful’ than darker skin?

We’re Pinoy, we can be dark-skinned, be proud of it!

To any young Pinoy reading this, don’t pressure yourself to lighten your skin because you don’t need it, your color is beautiful.

To parents, siblings, best friends, special someones of anyone being bullied for being dark, reassure them that their color is beautiful and they need not be fairer to be appreciated. Whether you’re born with dark or fair skin, embrace your color and be proud of it.

Your value as a human is not in the color of your skin. It’s in who you surround yourself with and how you share your talents.

Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and comments, it’s wonderful that there are so many #proudmorena{s]!!!!

Because of Gonzalez-Intal, #proudmorena has begun trending online.

Below you can see Bianca and Lucia laughing, presumably at the haters.

Inside Amy Schumer is always fun when it gets a little political (see last year's excellent Friday Night Lightsrape sketch), and last night featured one of her most pointed sketches yet. It's about just how easy it is to buy a gun (you can even get one if you're blind or on the no-fly list!). It's also really funny.

Gun control appears to be an issue Schumer really cares about—after two people were shot in a movie theater showing her film Trainwreck, she held a press conference with her cousin, Sen. Chuck Schumer, asking for gun control. This sketch was apparently even fact-checked by the nonprofit Everytown for Gun Safety, whose Chief Strategy Officer was interviewed by Ms. Schumer on last night's episode.

And to think her trolls say she just makes sex jokes.

Author Meghann Foye thinks women without kids should get paid leave just like moms do. She even wrote a book a called Meternityabout a woman who fakes a pregnancy to get some me-time.

On Thursday, she explained her point of view to the New York Post: "I came to believe in the value of a 'meternity' leave—which is, to me, a sabbatical-like break that allows women, and to a lesser degree, men, to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs."

The article continued:

While both men and women would benefit from a "meternity" leave after a decade or so in the workforce, the concept is one that would be especially advantageous for women. Burnout syndrome is well-documented in both sexes, but recent research suggests that women may experience it at greater rates; researchers postulate that it’s because women (moms and non-moms alike) feel overloaded by the roles they have to take on at work and at home.

And guess what? Surprise! A lot of moms do not agree, and they (as well as men and women without kids) took to social media to let Foye know that.

Most people didn't see maternity leave as the "me time" Foye seemed to think it was.

Some people found the idea so ridiculous they wondered if Foye was joking.

One person even wrote an entire annotated rebuttal to Foye, pointing out that while parenthood may not actually be the "hardest" job in the world, it does have the longest hours.

Judging from the reviews on her book, Meghann Foye might need to take another 'meternity' leave to do some self-reflection on whether writing is the career for her. Or she could just have a kid, and enjoy all the free time that gives new moms to focus on themselves. Lol.

On April 22, a baby boy was born with a bizarre name worthy of a celebrity child, but he is no spawn of two out-of-touch A-listers. The baby is instead the child of a woman who went into labor mid-air on a Jetstar Asia flight from Singapore to Myanmar. In homage to the airline and crew members who aided in the baby's birth—especially the head of the flight crew, Mr. Saw Ler Htu—the mom gave the baby a rather unusual name.

Saw Jet Star. As in, "I just saw a jet star," or "I just saw Saw Jet Star."

It's lucky the baby wasn't born over New Zealand, where baby names like Empress and Chief were rejected last year. If those didn't get approval, there's no way New Zealand would be cool with Saw Jet Star.

In addition to the momentary fame baby Saw has gained as a result of taking his first breaths of recycled air on a three-hour flight, the baby was gifted with about $742 in supplies. That surely covers the cost of a return flight ticket for little Saw.

Do you remember this Slytherin fellow, Gregory Goyle? You know, one of Draco Malfoy’s two burly henchmen who lived to terrorize and bully Hogwarts students—especially Harry Potter and his best mates. Well, in case someone slipped some forgetfulness potion in your drink, here’s a very young version of Goyle in the Harry Potter movies.

According to Cosmopolitan, 28-year-old Josh Herdman (Goyle) has placed his acting career on hold to pursue a sport bloodier than Quidditch: Mixed Martial Arts (MMA).

Oh, and he looks totally badass too.

Herdman apparently has a lot of boxers and rugby players in his family history, so it's not exactly shocking to his relatives that he's now a cage fighter, according to the BBC. In fact, he's already won his first match, against Polish fighter Janusz Walachowski.

Don't count him out of a return to the screen, though. With regards to his acting career, Herdman told Addictedotr.com that he hasn't "fallen out of love with it, I still have an agent and still go for auditions."

Not only is Herdman knocking out dudes in the octagon, but he's a proud parent too. On Twitter, you can find him sharing lovely photos of his son, Morgan.

Just as a side note, Josh, "Death Eater" Herdman would be a great nickname to take to the cage. Definitely better than Goyle.

Unsurprisingly Kylie Jenner's face will be gracing the cover of the June issue of Glamour, but what is making waves is her interview with the magazine, in which the youngest member of the Kardashian/Jenner clan proclaims herself a feminist. Even more shocking, she kind of nailed her answer, saying: "I do consider myself a feminist. I'm a young woman, for one thing, and I don't depend on a man or anybody else. I make my own money and start my own businesses, and I feel like I'm an inspiration for a lot of young girls who want to stand on their own."

Aw, well, that's nice. Kylie probably is an inspiration to some young girls. As she points out, "Ever since I started earning my own money, I've paid for everything: all my cars, houses, clothes, everything. I like to know exactly what's going on and I'm actually quite careful with what I spend. We all are as a family." She even bought her own $250,000 birthday present that Tyga pretended was from him.

She pays for her own stuff, just like a lot of other 18-year-olds—you know, all their cars, their multiple houses, the houses they buy just to store their clothes, that one house where they keep their makeup, and the special house they go to relax when they just need a break from all their other houses.

But being rich doesn't make one not a feminist, it just makes one completely out of touch with the reality of the majority of the rest of the world. There's no law against being a feminist, a businessperson and an inspiration all while being kind of clueless. Yet.

With young women like Kylie Jenner leading the way, feminism is sure to continue making strides while wearing $6,000 Cartier bracelets that feminism feels were a "careful" purchase.

After returning to Live! with Kelly and Michael and ending the "long national nightmare" known as her reported fit over Michael Strahan getting a job on GMA, Kelly Ripa is fitting as much subtle shade into her last shows with Michael Strahan as possible. On Thursday's show, Ripa somehow made a connection between an armadillo and contract negotiations.

"I wanna take him into contract negotiations with me" doesn't exactly sound like a phrase that comes out of nowhere. Almost like she was just waiting to say something awkward and tangentially related to Strahan's new career move.

Then Kelly Ripa and her muscular arms were back at it again on Friday, when Ripa decided to ask Strahan about a topic he's much more familiar than with her: divorce. Strahan, according to UPROXX, has gotten divorced two times. Whereas Kelly Ripa is still super in love with her (hot) husband of 20 years. 

Strahan knew what that was all about. "For christ's sake, Kelly, get over the fact that morning TV loves me and I'm peace-ing out for a new gig that perhaps signals the end of your show."

That's what this face says, right?

Or not. Maybe it's nothing more than a Michael Strahan face.

In case you missed it Because you need to re-watch it, here's Kelly Ripa subtly ripping into ABC upon returning to Live!.

Was anybody just staring at her great arms for five minutes?

Can you name President Obama's current White House Press Secretary? Can you name President Bartlet's Press Secretary? The answers to those questions are, respectively "No clue, lemme Wikipedia that. OK, Josh Earnest," and "C. J. Cregg."

While The West Wing is no more, Allison Janney continues to rule. As such, she was graciously willing to revive her famous character for a press briefing on Friday. Her brief will remind you of better days, when White House officials were under fire for sleeping with prostitutes. Well, that probably still happens, but no one's under fire for it.

If you stuck around long enough to watch, you'll know C.J. Cregg had an ulterior motive for returning to the podium: to raise awareness about opioid abuse, which ties in nicely with Janney's current show, Mom.

If you're not familiar with Cregg's rendition of "The Jackal" that she referenced, enjoy this bonus video:

Let's not forget this classic C. J. Cregg moment, either:

Janney/Cregg: A hero to tall, ambitious women everywhere.

They say that comedy is all in the timing, and these comic geniuses took their sweet, sweet time. Whether using the virtue of patience to execute the perfect Twitter joke, or creating a long sketch with a crazy-ass twist, these punchlines are definitely worth the wait.

1. The masterful sleeping joke.

Perhaps the purest, most exceptional execution of the long con, Marcus LePage's seven-year nap was worth the wait. He then added a third tweet, setting the world up for a laugh another seven years from now:

2. Dr. Frank-N-Furter's Twitter rendition of "Sweet Transvestite."

Thrills me, fills me, fulfills me.

3. Ezra Koenig's tweet that inspired a Beyoncé song.

Koenig got a writing credit on "Lemonade" after this tweet became the basis of the song "Hold Up." He bumped it years later to post the next lyric.

4. Key & Peele's Continental Breakfast

Key and Peele's sketches are brilliant throughout, but they are true masters of the twist ending. Come for the jokes, stay for The Shining.

5. The never-ending Twitter chain.

This long chain was the gift that kept on giving for a whole year. People on Twitter just perpetuated a great chain of links, with vague reactions, tagging friends so they'd join in.

And the bit went on and on. BBC journalists worked to find its point of origin, discovering that it was a now-deleted tweet belonging to journalist Charles C. W. Cooke.

6. The Counting Crows slow burn.

@CountingCrows_ is an account that simply just counts crows, and has been doing so for years. Starting in 2012, the crow counter has sometimes been forced to start over because of various interruptions in crow counting.

At press time—after four years—the tally is at 72 crows.

7. Norm MacDonald's moth joke.

This infamous joke is a masterful slow burn, and Conan O'Brien's interjections highlighted just how slow it was. The punchline is the very peak of the "so bad it's good" genre of humor.

8. Anthony Jeselnik on Grandma's Bible.

A masterful one-liner comic, Jeselnik ventured into longer tales in his most recent special Thoughts and Prayers. In his closer, he tells the story about his graduation gift from his grandma, and coming upon hard times. The kicker could be from the Book of Revelation.

Redditor ontheAstralPlane posted a selfie that's pretty boring until you look deeply into her eyes. "I broke my eyes by sitting next to a window," she titled the picture. Her eyes aren't exactly broken in the sense that they're still there and working fine. There is, however, something wonky happening in the pupils.

"I was sitting at a coffeeshop for an hour with my right side to a sunny window but took the picture when I got home, after seeing what happened to my pupils," she wrote. Time had elapsed from when she was first exposed to sunlight on one side, and her eyes hadn't dilated—cue the PANIC.

obrienwspt1's fancy education informed this woman that she might be a goner.

Neurosurgery resident here...

Please go to the hospital immediately. As others stated this could be nothing, however, it could also be a sign of pending rupture of an aneurysm. Sure there are many other possibilities, but that is the most concerning and needs to be ruled out.

AnimusOscura knows fancy acronyms that make it sound like this could be a thing.

EMT here and I agree with the neuroscience doc. Unequal pupils are also a sign of major brain trauma that we specifically check for. We use a little penlight to check for PEARL (Pupils Equal And Reactive to Light).

If this is unusual (as in you don't have anything known that could cause this such as drugs, injuries, a past operation on your eye, etc.) please get yourself checked out ASAP.

Are you checking your pupil size? If they've been different size for a long period of time, you might not be dying, according to mzyos. Well, you are dying. We all are. But not because of your eyes.

Uh, scary much?

obrienwspt1 refuted the theory that you may be thinking: can't one pupil dilate at a time?

The general mood of the thread was "You're dying. Am I dying? Is this person I know dying?"

At the end of the day, everyone like KittenSwagger was well-intentioned and worried for ontheAstralPlane.

Did you die?

Its been 10 mins since you last posted. We are concerned.

ontheAstralPlane has since posted to say she is alive (yay!) and is going to a doctor ASAP.

Apparently being overly concerned about strangers is something Redditors like to do, as butters106 explained.

I listened to you guys once about having the same thing as the poster. 5 grand later and everything comes back normal.

Shit, is the Internet not a trustworthy place?

Just when you thought the search for "Becky with the good hair" was over, one of them stepped up to write about giving rapper Jay Z a 3-minute blowjob in the backseat of a car. This revelation came in the form of a flowery post for the ladyblog xoJane, and takes place several years before he started dating Beyoncé. So let's dig in, shall we?

After opening up with a Zora Neale Hurston quote, writer Karrine Steffans Short talks about how, in 2000, she met Jay Z on a music video shoot and hooked up with him in his Maybach:

I was a 21-year-old California transplant who’d been tossed into my first music video after a fateful meeting with director Hype Williams. A single mother raising my son on my own, I jumped at the chance to make $2,500 a day to dance around and look pretty next to the artist — Jay Z. He was a long-time friend of my cousin, Chuck, and after a call from him, Jay knew to keep me close, making sure I got loads of camera time. This was the beginning of my stint as a video girl, and one day Jay and I stole away for some time alone toward the end of the day.

Chauffeured away from the set, down the winding road, and closer to the shoreline, Jay and I feasted on our attraction to one another — rabidly and quickly. After just a few minutes, I lifted my head from his lap, wiped my lips, and knew we’d made a mistake. Over the next few years, I would see Jay again, as I became close with his then business partner Damon Dash. We never mentioned our Malibu melee and acted as if it never happened. My cousin Chuck would be livid. 

At this point, she points out that Beyoncé and Jay Z were not even dating at this time:

This was pre-Yoncé, of course, but the fact is that a Becky is a Becky, and I was the Becky for many men, and they were all my salvation and my destitution. They were my reason and my rationale, my life and my death, and eventually, my fame and my infamy.

She later talks about being the other woman in Method Man's marriage. Finally, she concludes:

I am Becky with the good hair. I am Beyoncé. I am the keeper of secrets, the betrayer of women, the confessor of my sins, the owner of my secrets, lies and salvations. I have traded in my Scarlet A for a Scarlet Bey.

Because we are all Becky with the good hair. Every last one of us.

Sure.