Without The Colbert Report, right-wing blowhards will just have to keep parodying themselves.

April 10, 2014, 11:24 am

≫ Next: You're the only person I wouldn't freak out sharing a water bottle with.

≪ Previous: Our genitalia should get back in touch.

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You're the only person I wouldn't freak out sharing a water bottle with.

April 10, 2014, 12:04 pm

≫ Next: We should reconnect so you can see that I'm not fat anymore.

≪ Previous: Without The Colbert Report, right-wing blowhards will just have to keep parodying themselves.

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We should reconnect so you can see that I'm not fat anymore.

April 10, 2014, 12:41 pm

≫ Next: I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked.

≪ Previous: You're the only person I wouldn't freak out sharing a water bottle with.

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I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked.

April 10, 2014, 4:47 pm

≫ Next: The only thing that stands between me and a pay raise is ambition.

≪ Previous: We should reconnect so you can see that I'm not fat anymore.

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The only thing that stands between me and a pay raise is ambition.

April 11, 2014, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I love you enough to irritate hundreds of people by expressing it on Facebook.

≪ Previous: I don't like being told what to do unless I'm naked.

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I love you enough to irritate hundreds of people by expressing it on Facebook.

April 11, 2014, 6:49 am

≫ Next: Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.

≪ Previous: The only thing that stands between me and a pay raise is ambition.

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Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.

April 11, 2014, 8:01 am

≫ Next: I hope they never make a hall of fame for whatever music you listen to.

≪ Previous: I love you enough to irritate hundreds of people by expressing it on Facebook.

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I hope they never make a hall of fame for whatever music you listen to.

April 11, 2014, 9:16 am

≫ Next: I finally finished planning my wedding and now I just need someone to date.

≪ Previous: Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.

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I finally finished planning my wedding and now I just need someone to date.

April 12, 2014, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

≪ Previous: I hope they never make a hall of fame for whatever music you listen to.

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I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

April 13, 2014, 5:01 am

≫ Next: The only experience needed for my job is the ability to withstand doing something you don't like to do for the rest of your life.

≪ Previous: I finally finished planning my wedding and now I just need someone to date.

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The only experience needed for my job is the ability to withstand doing something you don't like to do for the rest of your life.

April 14, 2014, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I'm extremely religious when it gets me out of work early on a Monday.

≪ Previous: I may not have found the right person yet but I'm having a pretty good time with the wrong ones.

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I'm extremely religious when it gets me out of work early on a Monday.

April 14, 2014, 7:04 am

≫ Next: I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

≪ Previous: The only experience needed for my job is the ability to withstand doing something you don't like to do for the rest of your life.

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I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

April 14, 2014, 7:57 am

≫ Next: Happy Passover to someone I wish would stop trying to pronounce "Pesach."

≪ Previous: I'm extremely religious when it gets me out of work early on a Monday.

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Happy Passover to someone I wish would stop trying to pronounce "Pesach."

April 14, 2014, 8:17 am

≫ Next: I wish Moses would show up at my office and lead us into the desert.

≪ Previous: I can phone it in on Monday at a Friday level.

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I wish Moses would show up at my office and lead us into the desert.

April 14, 2014, 8:43 am

≫ Next: I enjoyed watching Joffrey die as much as Joffrey enjoyed watching people die.

≪ Previous: Happy Passover to someone I wish would stop trying to pronounce "Pesach."

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I enjoyed watching Joffrey die as much as Joffrey enjoyed watching people die.

April 14, 2014, 9:51 am

≫ Next: Don Draper is even better than you are at pretending to have a real job.

≪ Previous: I wish Moses would show up at my office and lead us into the desert.

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Don Draper is even better than you are at pretending to have a real job.

April 14, 2014, 10:08 am

≫ Next: I'd rather die at a Game of Thrones wedding than spend money to go to one more this year.

≪ Previous: I enjoyed watching Joffrey die as much as Joffrey enjoyed watching people die.

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I'd rather die at a Game of Thrones wedding than spend money to go to one more this year.

April 14, 2014, 10:27 am

≫ Next: Let's celebrate the Jews escaping from someone who was even worse than King Joffrey.

≪ Previous: Don Draper is even better than you are at pretending to have a real job.

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Let's celebrate the Jews escaping from someone who was even worse than King Joffrey.

April 14, 2014, 10:39 am

≫ Next: If you see me running, call the police.

≪ Previous: I'd rather die at a Game of Thrones wedding than spend money to go to one more this year.

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If you see me running, call the police.

April 14, 2014, 5:30 pm

≫ Next: May IRS auditors pass over your questionable tax return this Passover.

≪ Previous: Let's celebrate the Jews escaping from someone who was even worse than King Joffrey.

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