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Article 178


12 reasons to use the new Trump supporter dating app.

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It’s tough to find someone to love when you love Trump. Sad! To help build a wall to separate the "crooked" blue state singles from the great, very eligible—the most eligible—bachelors and bachelorettes, lifelong Republican David Goss founded TrumpSingles.com, a dating site exclusively for Trump supporters to connect.

Surprisingly, you can't specify your ideal age-difference for an authentically Trump-like relationship.

If you want a mate for any one of the following reasons, TrumpSingles is the site you've been looking for:

1.You want to judge racists on their looks, not their racism.

2. You want to bring someone to Thanksgiving who's even more racist than your uncle.

3. You're really into Confederate role play.

The David Dukes of Hazzard.

4. You're rebelling against your gay parents.

5. You want to meet someone who isn't afraid to say "radial Islam" within 30 seconds of meeting them.

6. You want to meet someone who doesn't think KKK stands for Kim, Kourtney and Khloé.

The KKK aren't vain, they cover their faces.

7. You don't want to honeymoon in Mexico anyway.

8. You're a just Chris Christie-type looking to love a living Cheeto.

9. You found out that JebSingles.com doesn't exist.

pet moose jeb bush jeb gentle
Just want to be caressed like that moose.

10. You're a conservative Republican looking to meet someone who shares your political worldview. And you hate affordable and easily accessible reproductive healthcare.

11. You want a fun nickname for your genitals.

12. It's not really any worse than Tinder tbh.

omg, STD rn.

Chrissy Teigen tries to hold onto her milk during an amusement park ride.

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Model, new mom, and all-around hilarious person Chrissy Teigen has yet to get a handle on the physics of her mammoth new breastfeeding boobs. On Sunday, she posted an Instagram of herself, her boobs, and her husband John Legend on an amusement park ride (looks like Splash Mountain). There was no problem with keeping her hands inside the car at all times; Teigen got a firm grasp on her milk jugs, which probably tried to bounce around a little more than she expected. Her caption for the photo is just "MY MILK." Her face pretty much says the rest.

MY MILK

A photo posted by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Hopefully she didn't spill too much milk on the way down. Of course, even if she did, she can always make more.

Blake Lively announces she and Ryan Reynolds are 'officially breeders' who plan to keep having kids.

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On Monday, the always lovely Blake Lively was a guest on Today, promoting her new movie The Shallows. (Oh my god, look out, SHARK!) She and host Savannah Guthrie got to talking about kids, and Lively, who is currently pregnant, revealed that she and her husband, Ryan "Deadpool" Reynolds, are not planning to stop at two kids. She told Guthrie, "I'm one of five kids; my husband's one of four. We're officially breeders. You can go on our website and we will give you some of our children."

This sounds like a great plan to make some extra cash—not that they need it. The one drawback is that it's highly illegal, although maybe the regulations are more lax when the transaction is done online.

16 horrific yard sale items that'll make you grateful your own neighbors are pretty normal.

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The next time you see a sign like this...

Hopefully he was a douche because he bought a lot of really cool stuff they didn't need.

...make sure to stop, because you never know what terrible things you can find out about your neighbors just by digging through their trash sellable items. Below are 16 things that humans never should put in yard sales, but totally did.

1. This totally legal and non-dangerous medical treasure chest.

This is a great find for any junkie who trusts everything is correctly labeled.

2. This phone that may or may not contain boobs.

Life is like a phone at a yard sale: you never know what you're gonna get.

3. These accurately described boxes.

What do we want? Boxes with numerous holes drilled in 'em! When do we want them? Probably never!

4. This completely suspicious box of free stuff.

Great for the aspiring meth lab cook in your life!

5. All the lubes these people decided they could part with.

Never show up to a yard orgy empty-handed.

6. This dog costume that is definitely worth a second look.

It's not about the size of the tail, its about the wag in the dog.

7. This couch free to a good asshole.

Good odds there is a man playing video games on the ground inside that house.

8. These pews that were definitely not stolen from a church.

Pew! Pew! Pew!

9. These terrifying looking Dutch dolls (and also those used dildos).

Let's call the red one the "devil's tongue."

10. This... uh... just this.

Pretty sure this didn't become legal again.

11. This gem found in a box of books.

You're never too young to learn to "f-ap."

12. This box that is perfect for holding all of your dead bodies.*

*Dead bodies sold separately.

13. This doll that was probably being sold by Rachel Dolezal.

Oh god it's awful make it stop.

14. These darts depicting the least-studied dinosaur from the your-ass-ic period.

To be fair, you should see the tips.

15. These evil creatures that were probably separated from a much larger collection.

Don't slow down, just keep moving don't make eye contact oh god they've got you.

16. And finally, these glasses. Give them as a gift to your wife to find out if she really loves you.

Warning: may cause divorce.

Article 173

11 dudes explain what makes them send women pictures of their penis.

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To the uninitiated, sending a dick pic seems like a real dick move, a staggering desecration of a phone's purity. But despite a lot of women writing how creepy these spontaneous phallic works of art are, many dudes continue to send their nudes. On Reddit, some perpetrators finally explained why.

A simulation of the deed in question.

1. For Stringer71, the pic is an end in itself, rather than about getting laid. It also resulted in jail time.

A few years ago, I was all wrapped up in depression and porn addiction. I didn't really want to have sex with someone so much as jerk off and send dick pics, so that's what I did. I snapchatted pretty much every female contact I had from an "anonymous" account. Some gals several times a day. A few of them ended up getting together, doing some detective work, and calling the police. I was charged with 3 counts of Privacy in Communications and 3 counts of indecent exposure, had to spend 3 days in jail, pay a hefty fine, lost my job, lost my apartment, had to move back in with my mom for a year, and alienated myself from a lot of friends. First time I've ever been in trouble with the law; I complied with everything and admitted it all straight away - the cops had to stop me so they could actually read me my rights. The prosecutor wanted to hit me with everything she could; over $10,000 in fines; up to 3 years in jail; registering as a sex offender.I'm left with one count of Indecent Exposure on my record for the rest of my life, barring a pardon from the Governor which will probably never happen.

It's the worst I have ever felt, and it still holds sway over me, today. I've never fully bounced back, but goddamn it I'm trying. When the judge handed down the sentencing, he looked me in the eye and said, "There's going to be a lot of people trying to get the same jobs you'll apply for, but they haven't done the things you've done. Good luck finding work." Pissed me off so much, and drives me to be better so I can send him a letter and thank him.

It's been , I've started my own video production business, have worked for FoxNews, Fox Sports, Food Channel, and Travel Channel. I've done special effects makeup on Eric Roberts. I've held high level production jobs on movies with Wilford Brimley and Margot Kidder (Lois Muthafuckin' Lane, y'all!). I'm getting better and stronger with every step, because fuck that judge and fuck my past self.

2. Tempacct16 gets right to it, and straight-up says it's a kink.

Probably late but I'll chime in as someone who does this from time to time. I would describe it as a kink, really. There's a certain reaction I'm looking for from the recipient and it just makes me feel good. I'm rarely looking for sex to be the end result of it--i think I just enjoy the reaction and it makes me feel like someone's impressed with me and has a sexual desire for me. I generally send it to girls that I've hooked up with previously and try to "make them miss me," I suppose. Not sure if it sounds pathetic but whatever. It looked like this thread was missing actual testimony so there you go.

3. AsAGayJewishDemocrat uses his worm as bait.

I can't speak for straight men, but I'm a gay guy and will occasionally do this. To be honest, I realize it's a turn off to many - but to some it is a quick and easy way to gauge interest.

My dad taught me to cast a wide net instead of focusing on my favorite fish.

4. It's an art form for I_Enjoy_Cashews.

Well, if I do that, it won't be "just a dick". I'll go on Snapchat and doodle on it--make it look like an elephant, tree, banana, etc... then randomly send it to my SO for a laugh.

5. itsreallyscary"gets off on reactions," and is Internet-famous for it.

I did this.

I have a big dong and I get off on the reactions. It made me feel good about myself, and I always felt like having a big dong sucks if nobody knows about it, it doesn't work to your advantage. But really I was just kinda horny and I wanted someone to find me attractive.

It turned into being a dick guy on Omegle, and hoping to catch a girl watching.

Then I discovered Chaturbate, and now I have like a huge following and pretty much any time I log on I can guarantee at least three or four cam girls watching me and getting off at the same time. It's pretty great. Shallow, unfulfilling, and cheap, but god it feels good. I get all kinds of attention and constant reactions and I TOTALLY get off on it.

It made me really confident in myself. I started working out and got in really good shape and now I have like a whole following that 'worships' my dong.

It's really strange, but I imagine this is what most guys who do this are after.

6. It's a dangerous thrill for rz-req.

I've sent my dick to some girls I knew for a short time and was lucky to receive positive responses; the thrill to do it got the better of me. I'm fortunate to be really happy about my dingeldong. I wouldn't do it completely random though.

7. Dude787 is a statistician about it.

Shotgun method.

Time efficiency; less likely to get a yes but takes less time on average per yes in theory (Well, not necessarily but that's the hope)

8. Seven_inch (nice username, bro) chocks it up to animal instincts.

I was on one of the smaller gone wild subreddits, and I got really turned on so much that it felt like my animal instincts kicked in and I didn't know what I was really doing. During the picture taking and sending process it was all my subconscious working.

I mean, I didn't think this while doing it but only after masturbating. You all know the feel after you masturbate you think more rationally? Yeah it's like that.

So to the other comments talking about "1 in 100" chance statistics. Well no for me that wasn't true. There's no way my stupid animal subconscious was thinking about statistics while sending a dick pic. I was just caught up in the moment, and she was a redditor anyway and I have no idea where she lives.

She did say thanks for the pic though, and seemed to appreciate it. Despite this I've never sent an unsolicited dick pic ever again

9. AnimalCrust just wants to be "seen."

I recently quit doing this, after about a year of sending them to 2-3 girls that i've hooked up with. It started when one girl on Tinder asked for my snapchat and was subtly asking for a dick pic, so I did it.

Then it got extremely addicting for some reason, so I kept doing it until she really got sick of me sending them and eventually stopped talking to me. But at that point it had become a fetish. So then I started talking to another girl on Tinder, and just talked dirty over text for a month. Then she got horny and asked to see my dick so I sent it, but like the other girl, i kept sending them just out of the blue afterwards, and she eventually got really disgusted. We did actually meet in between all of this and made out, but that was the only time.

I think what urges me to do it the most is pride in my body/dick. I have about 8 inches and I was working out every other day, so my body is/was in its prime. It was also somewhat of an artistic challenge trying to get the perfect pic of my body. Basically the same thing as the guys who post in /r/ladybonersgw

Another KEY ingredient here is edging. Sometimes I would wake up and start edging, and the horniness gets so bad that I just reach for my phone and had such a compelling urge to show a girl how horny I was. With snapchat, just the fact that you can see that your pic was marked as "seen" was good enough for me.

The entire time I knew it was a really sad thing to do and would ALWAYS regret it afterwards, but when you're incredibly horny and you can reach out to a girl with just a few taps of your phone, it was really hard to resist.

Oh and another aspect is obviously lack of sex in general. The first girl I started with I had sex with once, but it was long distance, so it never would have worked out but I still had sexual desires for her. I could have went out to bars more and tried my luck the normal way but I also had a lack of confidence and was just kind of lazy about it, and didnt want a relationship

So yeah, its a really complicated answer because its a combination of a lot of things. Feel free to AMA, this is an alt account anyways

10. csbysam uses it as a last resort.

If I am talking with a girl I'm not specifically trying to be just friends with and our conversation is either plateauing or staying platonic I'll shoot her a dick pic as a last resort sort of thing. Either it becomes sexual or she doesn't want to do anything with me. Either way I know where I stand and don't waste my time.

11. the_lost_cheeto just wants tit for tat/tit for dick.

Well, I do it for many reasons. One reason is because, if I like how she looks and I'm desperate enough. It is to try and get a nude. Fails most of the time, but when it happens it is amazing. Another reason is just because I am part voyeur. I walk around my house naked hoping someone will look in. I don't do it to scare people. I won't do much more than that. Even when people catch me or whatever I still walk around like normal. Also, I will jerk off where I might be seen. The feeling of being caught is awesome. The final reason is if they contact me first and I am going to town I show her what I am doing. If she is up for it I will play around. If she is not up for it, it save me time beating around the bush trying to get what I want at the time.

Kesha's boobs rebel against the confines of her bikini.

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Whilst getting some R & R (Does anyone say that anymore?) in Palm Springs with her boyfriend Brad Ashenfelter, Kesha shared a few pictures of herself in a teeny tiny, non-polka-dotted bikini.

much love to @lhorizonpalmsprings for always resetting my chakras ❤️

A photo posted by Kesha (@iiswhoiis) on

She's looking good. Receiving widespread support from the internet and recording new music looks good on her.

Kesha's other bikini Instagram suggested she could've done a better job of strapping herself down.

well. hmm. that don't fit huh

A photo posted by Kesha (@iiswhoiis) on

String bikinis require a delicate hand to successfully maneuver them over boobs. Sometimes, it's best to simply give up and embrace an imperfect fit, as Kesha did. Ashenfelter surely could've lent his girlfriend a hand, but he likely didn't mind.

It's not like Kesha was sharing anything new with him or the world.


Someone added even more violence to a very violent part of a violent episode of 'Game of Thrones.'

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Spoiler alert for Game of Thrones season 6, episode 9, "Battle of the Bastards." Duh.

Ramsay's death was always going to be a savage moment on "Game of Thrones." But before the most evil man in Westeros got torn apart face-first by his own pack of starving death dogs, the man's facial structure had an appointment with Dr. Jon Snow, face puncher MD.

An enterprising, heroic YouTuber named Ozzy Man Reviews decided Ramsay's appointment with Dr. Snow wasn't indulgent enough, so he added even more hitting.

And what a hittable face it is.

The scene feels more like an 80s action-thriller than an episode of Game of Thrones now, and that's for the best. Some comedy is appropriate, considering what horrors await the now-victorious protagonists of the series. George R.R. Martin does not want you—or them—to feel joy.

Baby who hates cranberries keeps going back for more. His face says it all.

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This toddler has a love-hate relationship with cranberries. He either loves to hate them, or he hates to love them. Whichever one it is, something keeps him going back for more. And one thing is for certain: if someone asks him to eat any type of food he doesn't like in the future, he's proved he can muscle his way through it.

At the very least, this baby won't get a UTI.

Ariel Winter and her underboob had a graduation party.

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In celebration of her graduation from high school and complete removal from jailbait territory, Ariel Winter had a graduation party that involved lots of themed decorations. And 18-year-old Winter brought her own decorations to the party that her sister threw for her.

Couldn't be more grateful to @shanelle_gray & @davidbarrygray for throwing me the most amazing graduation party ever last night...the amount of love and support they've shown me for the past four years has been life changing. My sister is my absolute best friend and my everything...❤️ Thank you so much. I couldn't be luckier or more grateful. I was in awe last night and I still am that you guys love me that much to do all of that for me...I never would be where I am today without you two...you guys saved me and taught me to be the person I am today. Dad...I love you!!! Thank you for always being there to support and love me as well and always put a smile on my face no matter what :). I'm so grateful for the bond we now share. Alenah the song you put together with Shanelle and recorded for me was one of the most special gifts I've ever received. I'm still tearing up thinking about it. Thank you for that and for your beautiful, special performance. Also a big thank you so much to Geraldine for putting it all together and to @contemporarycatering @robpauerful for the most amazing food! A special thank you as well to Sharon who is probably the biggest reason I was able to get through high school and accepted into college...you pushed me to always do my best and encouraged me...not to mention you were always there for my 1am freak outs about late projects :) Anddddd thank you SO MUCH to all of my amazing family members and friends that flew in to celebrate with us- you guys are the absolute best. Thank you also to the ones who didn't have to fly in...so much love was felt all around last night. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!! Class of 2016...❤️ #uclabound

A photo posted by Ariel Winter (@arielwinter) on

Honestly, this may be the best Winter's boobs have ever looked.

Her party dress was as light in both color and coverage as the dress she wore to her actual graduation.

Hello UCLA, 4s up 😌 #graduation

A photo posted by Ariel Winter (@arielwinter) on

Winter appears to have been quite busy celebrating the end of high school, having posted a picture from another grad party on the 'gram.

Hey b, it's me... 😘

A photo posted by Ariel Winter (@arielwinter) on

She looks a bit like a boobalicious Anne Hathaway in this photo.

Winter is heading off to UCLA in the fall, where she will surely take advantage of her talent at looking really good in dresses.

The Duggar you always forget is officially dating an athlete you've never heard of.

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Guess which Duggar child is now courting! Here's a hint: She has long brown hair, a "J" name, and really loves God. If you miraculously guessed Jinger Duggar, you are correct.

Jinger is in a courtship 💙 so happy for her! #19kids #JingerDuggar

A photo posted by Jessa Seewald(Duggar) (@theseewalds3) on

Jinger has announced that she and soccer player Jeremy Vuolo are officially courting. What is courting, you may ask? Pretty much dating without any of the fun stuff, like sex and kissing and going on dates unsupervised. They announced their courtship on the family's website and shared the news with People.

Jinger met her new beau through her older sister and brother-in-law, Jessa and Ben Seewald. After being introduced, Jinger and Jeremy went on a mission trip, and it was there that Jinger said she "really saw his heart and really admired his character." Unlike casual dating, being in a courtship with a Duggar pretty much means that the marriage is a done deal, so standby for wedding bells. And look, Jinger even picked a mate with a "J" name to match her and her 18 other siblings. How sweet!

There must be a Jeremy somewhere in there already, no?

Vuolo graduated from Syracuse University and played for Major League Soccer club the New York Red Bulls before stepping away from the game to study ministry (Jim Bob probably approves so hard). He then signed with the San Antonio Scorpions in 2013. But Duggar is a reality show star, so.

Congrats! You will probably make many cute J-named babies together.

Article 166

Man donating sperm out of public restrooms, Ari Nagel, isn't the hero people thought. Surprise!

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Well, there's no way anyone could have seen this one coming. On June 12, The New York Post ran a piece about Ari Nagel, a 40-year-old altruistic professor who ran started his own free sperm donation service out of various city men's rooms. According to The Post, his seed was a great option for lesbians or single women who want to have a kid, without the hassle and exorbitant cost of visiting a sperm bank. He told The Post that his jizz was already responsible for making 22 babies with 18 different women. He sounds great, right? A total saint.

But hold up a second—it turns out Nagel is not so wonderful after all. As it happens (you'll never see this coming), he has a wife and three kids whom he neglected to tell about his charitable operation. She found out the same way as everyone else—the cover of The New York Post. Surprise!

According to The Post's source, Nagel's wife, Roxanne, who he's been married to for 10 years, is "devastated" and "had no idea this was happening."

Nagel, however, contends that his wife did know what was going on, she just wasn't pleased about it. He told The Post that their relationship is "complicated," and that "she didn’t support [his being a one-man sperm bank]. She always wanted me to be a regular, traditional spouse." He admits that his wife is "livid," and "she’s been yelling at me a lot," but he claims that their relationship hasn't been romantic in years. But maybe that's news to her, too.

Horrible Nazi Tila Tequila is back at it again and threatening Sarah Silverman on Twitter.

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Racist, Nazi, and washed-up reality TV show star Tila Tequila is back at her old tricks and saying some obscenely offensive stuff on her Twitter account. She disappeared off social media for a while after her racist rant against Jennifer Lopez pissed enough people off, but now she is back and basically has learned nothing. Ready for this, you guys? It's a real doozy.

The whole weird tirade started with her retweeting everything from comedian Sarah Silverman's account over several days. Although people generally retweet each other to promote one another, Tila made it very clear she was in no way supporting Silverman after tweeting this.

Then she decided to get very specific and call out Sarah for her religion, saying that her people killed Jesus.

And then shit got crazy.

Then more anti-Semitic rants. Remember, this is all coming from a woman who once dressed up like and defended Hitler, so we probably shouldn't be surprised.

Pause for a theory about Madonna being immortal?

And back to the racism. Oh, and mentioning that she had died and was brought back to life (something she talks about often on her Twitter account).

Sarah Silverman caught wind that she was being berated by a has-been reality show star and sent out a classy tweet to Tila, although she totally could have roasted her.

And Tila responded like...Tila.

Wow. That seemed like a direct threat to Silverman by a woman who claims to be Jesus Christ. I doubt Sarah is too worried.

When a woman named Dayana Rodriguez tried to defend Sarah, Tila upped her racist rant to include Mexicans as well.

And spoke about the purge in a way that only a disgusting Nazi could.

Is this crazy online persona a desperate way to cling on to what little fame she has left, or a look into the mind of a very disturbed individual? Honestly, probably both.


Article 163

Drake is just chilling on the edge of the ocean in the world's dopest robe.

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Drake posted a few Instagram photos from the Dominican Republic this week, or at least he implied they're from the Dominican Republic because he used the Dominican flag emoji. The trip was obviously baller, surely purchased with money from his lucrative career as an actor in DeGrassi: The Next Generation. Or maybe, y'know, that little rap hobby he has.

Drizzy got dizzy pondering infinity in an infinity pool:

Papi Shampoo 🇩🇴

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

And tended to a headache after pondering infinity:

☀️

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

But the photos kicked up to a new baller level when he brooded in a Versace robe:

🇩🇴

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

It looks like Drake and his robe had a fantastic vacation. Hopefully he has recovered from all that sun and pondering the infinite horizon of the ocean.

25-year-old man trying to lose his virginity instead ends up with massive surplus of vomit.

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Redditor bradred101 is a 25-year-old virgin which is NBD, except for he would no longer like to be a virgin. In an effort to take a dip in the female sex, bradred101 took a course of action that sounded fool-proof: get drunk at a bar. Unfortunately, the Fates decided that bradred101's weekend outing would not end with sex, but with a disastrous story he shared on Reddit's TIFU forum. On the plus side, there is a quasi-happy ending for bradred101.

This happened this past Friday night/ Saturday morning.

I always been shy and depressed so talking with people is hard for me. Even harder to talk with women. Plus I don't think of myself as very attractive and thing women wouldn't be interested in my anyways.

I am 25 and a virgin. I never kissed a girl or even held a girls hand before. So I figured I do what everyone seems to do in the movies and go to a bar and see what happens. I don't drink but I have read it can make you less shy and more out going. What could possible go wrong?

So many things.

Its Friday evening and I decided to go downtown and find a nice bar with lots of people. Got there around 6 pm and sat down at those stools at the counter. The lady behind the counter asked me what I wanted and since I don't drink I had no idea and just told her this is my first time.

She starts listing off bunch of stuff like beers, cocktails, shots and bunch of other stuff I really can't remember. I figured I would try a little of everything and see what I like.

As you can perhaps guess, this is where bradred101's story takes a rough turn.

I started off with a Molsen Canadian. One of the few beers I actually do know. Tasted horrible, they all tasted horrible. But I kept drinking one after the other and just having random beers and shots and cocktails. After the 3rd one I felt a little sick and threw up in the bathroom. Felt much better after puking.

Its about 1 am, not sure how many drinks I have had. I probably puked about 4 times and still have not chatted with anyone except the lady behind the counter who was the one asking me what I wanted to drink. I trip and my glasses get knocked off as I was making my way to the door. A woman picks them hands puts them on my face and asks me if I was all right. Told her I was fine and just had to much to drink.

We both head outside and start walking and she asks me where I was headed. Told her I was going the skytrain to go home. She grabs my arm and pulls me towards her and wraps her arm in mine and said the skytrain is closed this late and why don't I just stay the night at her place.

It's a great success, until things get started.

We get to her place and as soon as we walk into her apartment she starts kissing me and I am standing there like an idiot. I never kissed before so didn't really know how to. She happened to guess what I never done this before so she said she would teach me. At this point I am getting excited and nervous at the same time that somehow I will fuck it all up. After some kissing she takes my pants off and I am already hard. She teases me with her tongue then proceeds to give me a blowjob. I take off her shirt and she goes back to blowing me as I tried to take off her bra. Words can't describe the feeling or my emotions as it was finally happening. But it didn't last long as I had just managed to take her bra off that I felt something run down my penis. I didn't realize what it was until the smell hit me. She had puked on me while giving me a blowjob. The smell and the sight of her puking soon took over me and I also vomited all over her head.

I pulled up my vomit covered pants and ran to the bathroom and quickly got into the shower. Started to wash myself and my clothes the best I could. She having taken off all her clothes came into the shower with me and apologized repeatedly as I did the same.

I got out quickly, grabbed my stuff and left as she was still in the shower. Its about 3 am maybe and since no trains were running I walked around in the cold, rainy night.

Once I finally got home I quickly took another shower for god knows how long. Luckily it was a Saturday and my family was still asleep. Went to my room and passed out.

Upon waking, bradred101 had the pleasure of his very first hangover.

He did not enjoy the experience, nor the onslaught of messages from his new friend.

I wake up to my phone ringing but I couldn't move my body. I just laid there on the bed with my eyes closed and a massive headache. My whole body was in pain. I eventually fell back asleep and just woke up few hours ago. I took another shower and when I got to back to my room I noticed I had about 4 calls from her and dozen or so text messages. I don't remember giving her my phone number so not sure how she got it. The texts all were basically her apologizing and wanting to make it up to me. I have yet to respond and don't really know what to say.

TL;DR: Lonely virgin. Got drunk. Met a girl. Things got wet, really wet.

Redditors were full of encouraging words for bradred101 and strongly supported the idea that he and his mysterious lady hang out again.

impulsivecactus thought this is bradred101's chance.

Dude, this is exactly a relationship in the making. Hang out with her again, act like a normal human being and suggest you guys do something like see a movie or go ice skating. Don't drink. Make the night about getting to know each other. Apologize as she will also do so. Let he know that it was your first time, don't be ashamed. Everyone has a different story.

Yojenkz also thought dude should act on this.

Dude... as gross as it was she's put the ball in your court. Don't expect anything out of the gate, but definitely give your a game as much as you can. Chat her up, hang out a bit and see where things go.

shakinMyShake thought bradred101 should apologize for puking on her after she puked on him after he puked a few times at the bar.

dude, that's how marriage stories go, call her and understand her, there are like millions of puke stories while giving BJs. I'd advise you to grow some balls if you want to lose your virginity, the girl seems pretty cool. Pretty stupid thing to bail on her like that though, she must be feeling like shit. Understand her POV for a moment, no wonder you have never kissed a girl, and she was so understanding...

EDIT: You also puked on her head, which is way worse than puking on your dick so you should apologise more. Also, CALL HER, do NOT text her.

bradred101 finally updated his desperate audience with good news.

UPDATE: I texted her and asked if she was busy to talk. She said she wasn't busy so I called her and explained and apologized. I asked her out and she said she gets off at work at 2 so maybe we can get a coffee or something after that. I am just happy she understood me as I felt like I was mumbling and not talking normally. We carried the conversation threw text since I had difficulty talking.

I shall also try to answer some of the questions that I have read.

After the short call we exchanged some texts. I asked her how she had my number since I don't remember giving it to her. Apparently I gave it to her back in grade 11 we sat beside each other and also had to do a project together in biology. Then another project in grade 12 and finally a class together in University. I remember the high school portion but not the University one.

She bumped into me as we were both leaving and thus my glasses fell. She had recognized me though I didn't recognize her.

We talked and even had some food before we headed to her place though I don't remember any of this.

Yes I slept for nearly 30 hours. I had a headache and my body felt weird. Plus all the emotions. Some people eat to deal with stress, I sleep.

I am half Indian and half English. Came here from the UK and no I don't have the accent as I grew up here. My skin is brown.

Her making it up to me was about her puking and because she thought she had broken my glasses. Even though she had put them on face.

Bradred101 shared about more about his past, then signed off:

Anyways I must get going now. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Have a nice day =)

Even the most dire puke-on-puke stories can end up happily, as long as you hold out hope and aren't afraid to reach out to that person you barfed on.

9 high school overachievers share the reasons why they burned out early.

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An interesting Reddit thread asking"former straight-A and ambitious high school students" to explain why they're stuck in "mediocre" careers is great evidence that success in school isn't always the most important indicator of success in life.

Told ya, mom!

The following anecdotes are from the kids who made you jealous in school, but definitely wouldn't make you feel terrible at the 15-year reunion. Read, learn, and make sure your kids spend high school slacking off.

1. EWW3 explains the difficulty of adjusting to less rigorous rules in life.

One huge difference is that in school there were clearly defined rules for achieving the "A" grade. Life after school doesn't really have that measurement of grades and timeframes. Some of us straight-A students are (to be honest) just really good rule followers. We often suck at setting our own life goals and agendas. If someone told us a guaranteed way to be the top __________ in our field, many of us could do it, but so many careers are a mix of self-generated direction, luck, and knowing the right people--a person can follow all the prescribed best practices and still end up with a "mediocre career."

I might not make a million bucks, but I'm still happy with my career.

2. Kanst reiterates the above point, and seems to think it applies more to all those nerds who took calculus.

"Some of us straight-A students are (to be honest) just really good rule followers. We often suck at setting our own life goals and agendas."

I had never considered this, but for me it rings really true.

English class for me was never about writing the best essay, it was about figuring out what the checklist of things the teacher wanted to read was. I always excelled at math because there was a rigorous set of rules you could use to figure everything out.

Now in work they expect me to determine my own path when I would much rather be hand fed assignments to do.

Easier than deciding on your own schedule.

3. HeadCoach just stopped trying, simple as that. Is he a gym teacher now?

I just got tired of trying. Sometimes its important to appreciate the happiness in the little things and let your body rest. Started that 5 years ago and still haven't stopped resting.

4. Shoo-fly-pie changed priorities, is now the type of person who makes you the most intricate birthday cards covered in glitter.

I realized that being very good at an easy, mediocre job is less stressful than struggling along in a super-smart field. My main career goal is simply to continue earning enough to live on without having work encroach too much on the aspects of life that I care about, i.e. my relationships and hobbies.

The over-the-top kind of friend who gives you a panic attack for your birthday.

5. BearcatInTheBurbs thinks everyone needs a good mentor when you run out of teachers to suck up to.

I had no mentor or positive adult influence to guide my career decisions early on. Instead I took the "safe" route and now 10 yrs later I'm in the same field making 1/2 what i could. I was too afraid of taking a chance. If I had known I had options and that moving away from my home state would almost guarantee career success I would have done it in a heartbeat. I just didn't know what I should be doing to determine the right job for my talents. By the time I figured it out I was a homeowner, married and locked in to my career path. Starting a different career now would mean starting over at the bottom and I cannot afford it and am not willing to go back to my Ramen noodle days.

6. Turns out you should never start a career in IT, according to NotAlwaysAppropriate.

Perfect GPA (4.0) undergrad and grad school from a top university. IT field. After 10 years at my job with glowing reviews and two promotions, the work went away, along with most of everyone's jobs in the department. I struggled to get hired after months of searching (I had 10-year old skills). I ended up taking an entry level job in my field with shit pay, but at least it's a stable union job. I guess burn out maybe? After working so hard for so long, I'm just done. Professionally and personally I've sort of given up. I do good work at my job, but I don't kill myself, and I stopped dating. The effort to reward ratio is too fucked up to serve as an incentive for either.

If you did this all day, you'd burn out too.

7. Social skills were never factored into the grade, as lemonade_is_grrreat rather sadly attests.

I don't have the social skills required to survive in the business world, and realizing this sent me into a crippling depression.

8. Dunceski explains that if school comes easy to you, that's actually bad for your work ethic.

I was always one of those people who put in minimal effort and got high grades. As an adult, when things don't come as easy, I tend to just say, "Fuck it." It also made me lazy. While my career isn't where I'd like it to be, I honestly feel like my job is similar to my experience in high school. I put in minimal effort, but people still view me as some sort of leader and go to person. When in actuality I really don't give a shit.

9. And Leighlabelle blames her 20s for a minor detour on her way to a lifetime of overachievement.

I was a straight A student and participated in a gifted program. I have an anxiety disorder. There are other factors. I spent my late teens/early twenties traveling. I dated an awful awful human being for three years and threw away my ambitions during that time. After that I self medicated with alcohol. I absolutely had to quit drinking.

I didn't go to college/university until I was 25. I had no idea I'd like science so much. I was taking classes with absolutely no declaration of a major or direction. I really thought I was going to major in English Ed. I decided on nursing and found I was too anxious to work with patients and doctors. I was devastated after dropping out and gave up on myself for a year.

Now I'm actively pursuing a medical sciences degree. However, I'm in my early thirties and wish I would have done this sooner. I'm an assistant manager at a restaurant for the time being. The GM has been awesome about my school schedule. I manage a super group of teenage guys five nights a week. Life isn't bad, but I wish I would have made some better decisions in my twenties.

This fake audition for 'America's Got Talent' was so good that people thought it was real.

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This satirical 'vaping' audition video for America's Got Talentcombines two very stupid and very topical things—vaping skills and reality television—to make the perfect mockery of culture in 2016. The video stars a man who says his name is Jake Clarke, and he wants to impress the judges on America's Got Talent by showing them how good he vapes. He vapes real good.

Once Clarke blows smoke all over a dead bird, it should be pretty obvious that this video is just very dry satire, but remember, the internet generally doesn't have a sense of humor and likes to yell about nothing.

Yeah, people really fell for it. Hard. It had to come down to someone gently explaining that this is very much a joke.

Still, it is understandable why people would confuse this with a real audition. Look at the stuff that some people bring to the table on this show.

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