In the latest "don't look at me (but look at me)" Kardashian moment, Khloé Kardashian asks you to watch, just don't comment.

She posted this to Facebook after Kim snapped out video of Kanye West and Taylor Swift's phone conversation (which may have broken the law, but we digress).

It's not clear that's what Khloé is referring to with this post, but it seems likely.

Let's break this down, shall we? Khloé doesn't bully:

And please, don't comment about her family, because only she can do this about other people:

But it's important to not forget:

So thank you, and blessings!

But:

Got it Khloe, thanks!! xoxo

Instagram usually ties to avoid getting involved with anything but nipples, but recent evidence suggests they may be protecting Taylor Swift's feelings. By now, you've heard the news story that finally shook the American people out of their apathy this week. No, not the Republican National Convention; the Taylor Swift-Kimye feud. Armed with footage of Kanye and Taylor had actually discussed his song "Famous" prior to release, Kim Kardashian went public with proof that sweet Swift was actually a sneaky snake.

Inspired by Kim Kardashian's snake person tweet, people were poisoning all of Taylor's old photos with the snake emoji.

But the snake infestation reportedly has Instagram headquarters boarding the censor-ship.

If you attempt to emoji-bomb Tay Tay's pictures, Instagram will intervene.

People are pissed, calling Instagram out for playing favorites and protecting Swift from cyberbullies when they clearly don't offer this service for other celebrities, let alone regular humans.

Apparently, Instagram's policy is to step in when a user reports that they are victim of hate speech and death threats. Instagram then creates a special filter for that user if it deems they qualify. Granted, no one wants to get snake emojis, but to be clear, Instagram is doing this on their end.

Remember last week, when the biggest thing she had to worry about were Hiddleswift truthers? Those were simpler times.

Australians waking up on Monday, July 18 who chose to start their work week with the bright orange backdrops of The Today Showfound themselves watching a decidedly dark segment, addressing the question, "Do more migrants increase the risk of terror attacks?"

"Television presenter" and former host of Australia's Dancing with the StarsSonia Kruger responded with a line of rhetoric usually associated with a certain American businessman.

Because apparently Australians aren't yet numb to this kind of talk, Kruger actually felt compelled to acknowledge the social media backlash to her opinion. Unfortunately, she made it so much worse.

Australia has a Race Discrimination Commissioner, Tim Soutphommasane, and he decided to tell people to speak out about the kind of speech you hear from people like Kruger.

Social media didn't need the prodding, though. #AsAMother had already started rolling, as people appropriated her rationale for discrimination as a vehicle for highlighting hypocrisy.

Others just used it to make jokes. Some of them were even good jokes, if you can believe it.

Asking someone to marry you is a huge and often nerve-wracking decision. Most great proposal stories end in the person on the receiving end saying "yes," but what happens when the person says "no?" This AskReddit wanted people who had been turned down when they proposed to their significant others to share their stories. Though many of the relationships ended up not working out afterwards, surprisingly, a lot of them did. Here are 13 proposals that didn't go exactly as planned.

1. NWBoomer didn't end up getting engaged, but at least he got a sweet new sleeping bag out of the deal.

Young, stupid and probably horny just out of college, I bought an engagement set and sprung it on my college girlfriend. Did not get the response I was expecting; she freaked, called me "irrational" and left.

Problem two: the department store where I bought the ring would not refund my money. I finally was able to negotiate a store credit; I exchanged the engagement set for a down sleeping bag. Frankly it was the better deal.

2. There's a lesson to be learned in thebutchone's story: know your audience. At least it turned out okay.

Accidentally got a no. Proposed in a restaurant to my current wife, the whole ring in the cupcake and everything. I go on one knee, and propose, completely not taking into account how bad her social anxiety can be, I just figured her books have these types of things, maybe she'd like it. She panicked, said no, and ran out.

3. In my opinion, "So do you still want to get married or what?" is far more romantic (and more hilarious) than "Will you marry me?" And hey, it worked for faxinator.

My girl asked me to marry her, and I said "no". She wasn't surprised or shocked, but I felt I wasn't ready. She just said "that's okay" and we went on dating. About a month later I asked her to marry me (super romantic -- we were at the mall eating pizza and while she had a slice in her mouth I said: "So do you still want to get married or what?") and she said "yes".

Been married 27 years.

5. Another unconventional way to phrase the question, courtesy of hargendash's parents.

My parents always told me they got engaged when mum was pregnant with my younger sister and she turned to him to say "so do you wanna fucking get married or what?".

It's a mystery that a fairytale romance like that didn't work.

4. This is just about the worst vacation ever. I'm sorry, ABurntC00kie.

5 years together

first night of a cruise, she said no

we try to enjoy the cruise anyway

week later she tells me she's cheating on me

10/10 would not recommend

6. At least Ileum has come to see the error in his ways. Don't ruin other people's proposals, guys. Not cool.

In hindsight I should have expected it since I was shit faced drunk, had never met her before and the ring was stolen (don't ask about the ring)

Edit: sorry if this is against the serious rule but it did happen

Edit 2: okay since people are asking haha, I'm an asshole in this story. Basically I ran into this guy from highschool at a party few years later. He was talking about how he found the girl of his dreams and was going to propose to her but was waiting for the perfect time. He was carrying the ring in his jacket pocket so if the perfect moment came up (I donno, maybe some sort of walking in the park at night scenario?). I didn't particularly like him and after a few drinks I got the brilliant idea that I should propose to her first! (Because that's how it works right? first come first serve). So I grabbed the ring from his jacket he had left slung over the couch and proposed to her....

7. Maybe not the best reason to ask someone to marry you, but TropicalGusher nailed the location.

We were at McDonalds drive thru and it was taking forever, so I proposed.

8. Davenport23 got some not-so-inspiring feedback from his future fiancé's mom.

When I decided to ask, I was confident that she would say yes. But first I asked her mum for permission to marry her. Response was along the lines of:

"Oh geez, that's out of the blue. I'm not really sure if she will say yes. But you can ask her. She is a grown woman and can decide for herself, but I don't really know what she will say! But you have my permission, I just don't know that she'll say yes!"

As you can imagine that was a really inspiring motivational speech.

Next day I popped the question. Never been so nervous in my life. Wedding is next year.

9. There's something kind of adorable about this. Keep trying, Scramblerino. I think you'll get a "yes" one of these days.

Ask my current girlfriend to marry me almost everytime I am drunk. She always say's no.

10. TBH, Mafiya_chlenom_K is probably way better off without this ring snob.

I was in the military at the time (living on ramen so I could save money) .. spent every penny I had on an engagement ring. She thought the diamond was Cubic Zirconia (aka: a cheap imitation of a diamond) and her response to me was "Do I look like a girl who wears glass?". I said "fuck you" and haven't said a word to her since.

I didn't expect her response, but I should have. In hindsight, I was in my early 20s and extremely dumb.

Before people start talking about how cheap grown diamonds are (like the youngsters on reddit typically do when I mention this story) .. artificial diamonds became available to the public around 2005 or 2006 (and still took time for the price to be worth it). This event happened in late 2003 or early 2004, so no, spending less on an artificial diamond wasn't an option.

Edit: The bold (it was "that"). Expanding "CZ" to be the full words plus link and "aka".

11. Maybe you should've had rings in both hands, davesoverhere.

Told this before. My wife managed to ruin several surprises I tried to have for her., including my proposal. So, on haloween, in a bar with frownds, I held out two fists and said "trick or treat."

True to form, she managed to pick the hand with the Milky Way. "Oh, thank you honey," she said. After about a minute, she got curious and wondered what was in the other hand, and opened it.

Technically, I never actually asked her to marry me.

12. Maybe the first proposal didn't get a "yes, " but something tells me HaroldSax and his girlfriend are going to be just fine.

Current girlfriend, actually. About a year ago I asked her to marry me and she gave me an incredibly painful but calculated, level-headed response. I took her out to a beautiful place where you can look at most of the Inland Empire and if there are clouds it looks like some shit from a Disney movie.

Anyway, after asking, and her saying no (very gently), I remember her exact words: "I love the shit out of you, but we are both just absolutely not ready." We talked about it extensively and while I was hurt initially, she's more than shown since then that she's committed to me. We've built a better relationship since then, not that it was bad, and we could do it right now (and have talked about it) but at this point, I'm definitely not as ready as I thought I was. Table's kind of turned, actually.

There is a new trend on YouTube, and it consists of people layering their bodies in makeup and nail polish documenting it. Why? Because the internet is running out of stupid shit to make.

It all started when YouTuber Simply Nailogical put 100 layers of nail polish on her nails. Following suit, YouTubers have since made videos like "100 Layers of Liquid Lipstick" and "100 Layers of Mascara." All that brings us to this video, made by Swedish YouTuber Jeely. In it, she sponges 100 layers of foundation on her face for five hours straight (edited down to five minutes), just for us viewers. Check it out.

Well her skin certainly ended up looking flawless. Like, an oil-painting-that-still-hasn't-dried flawless. Let's see how her skin looks in a few days when it takes revenge from being suffocated by breaking out in 100 layers of pimples.

It's not a secret that men love to openly stare at women's boobs and butts, however women are usually (not always) a bit more subtle about checking guys out. But women definitely do like to ogle hunky guys, make no mistake about it. Women on reddit were asked on this AskReddit thread to share the first thing they check out when they spot a new guy. Here's what they said.

1. Don't worry, lexiethesasquatch. We're all a little bit creepy deep down inside.

Your forearms, especially if you're carrying something like a heavy box but don't just flex randomly like those guys on Instagram. That is such a turn off for me.

I also like your backs for some reason which is kind of perfect anyway because then you can't see me checking you out, especially on the beach when guys are topless.

I feel like a creep now. Thank you.

2. chicklet2011's very specific response shows that she's a girl who knows what she wants. I respect that.

Traps, shoulder width, biceps, forearms, facial hair/jawline, height, and butt. I also consider body fat distribution. I don't mind a guy who is on the high end of average, but I prefer even distribution, not all in the gut/breast.

Oh. Also chest hair :-)

Edit: teeth. Also doesn't have to be perfect, most combinations of missing/off-white/crooked are permissible if you pick 2 of the 3.

3. peacebum pulled a Tina Belcher with this one, but I can't blame her. Everyone loves a nice man butt.

Posture, shoulders, forearms, eyes, hair, smile.

...Butt.

Forearms seem to be one of the most common thing female Reddit users check out on guys. They're so popular, in fact, that r/forearmporn is a thing that exists.

4. Thank you to Topo_Chica for coining the phrase, "douche uniform."

Style. Because you can be a proper hottie but if you're wearing a douche uniform there's no need for me to keep looking.

5. taypayway has absolutely no shame in checking guys out, nor should she.

Thiiiiighs and butts. Catch me staring, I don't care

6. Kush_Lash_Kush_Lash focuses on the more important things.

Checking account

7. poo_smudge wants hands that have something to say.

Neck and hands. If i can picture my self kissing his neck then i'm attracted to him. And i like hands that say "ive done some manual work" with clean and cut nails that say "i know how to clean up after work"

8. sarahcarrasco is just searching for her L.L. Bean boyfriend. Aren't we all?

Does he have a beard? If not, does he have the ability to adequately grow one?

9. Maybe SchrubSchrubSchrub isn't the target demographic for this thread, but I'm glad she's here.

His girlfriend's ass.

i'm gay

Even better than the girls' answers on this thread were the male reactions:

A. AdseyV has finally learned the power of the mighty forearm.

Well shit, im off to work on my forearms.

B. ShowMeYourTiddles might need to rethink his workout routine.

Not a single vote for legs. Message received: Always skip leg day.

C. Don't worry, ShavedArm, we're still checking out your personality. (Right after we check out your butt.)

Does no one check out my personality...?

Because its pretty good...

TL; DR girls love forearms, butts, and large bank accounts. Guys, take note.

GQ recently asked some famous people to share thoughts and stories about Matt Damon for a profile piece about the star of the upcoming Jason Bourne. There were spectacular contributions from Martin Scorsese, Bill Simmons, Sarah Silverman, and Damon himself. But the best was from his Bourne costar Julia Stiles, who described what happened when they met the late Prince:

After The Bourne Ultimatum came out, there was a premiere in London. Prince actually came to it, then got tickets for the cast to come see him [perform]. We were summoned into a room to meet him [after the show]. Matt said, “So you live in Minnesota? I hear you live in Minnesota.”

Damon then provided Prince's response to the question. Prince said:

I live inside my own heart, Matt Damon.

Damn. Despite the embarrassment of asking such a silly question, it must've been fantastic to hear Prince give such a Prince-like reply.

When Playboy model Dani Mathers snapped a naked woman in her gym's locker room, it prompted outrage from, well, basically everyone—but some people are responding to it on a more personal level, including mom Christine Blackmon. She posted her own censored nude photo to Facebook in response on July 16. Her photo and the open letter to Mathers that accompanied it have since gone viral with over 24,000 likes and 2,800 shares.

The post reads:

Dear Dani Mathers,

By now, most of my friends have seen that you posted a picture of a naked woman showering at your gym with the caption "If I can't unsee this then you can't either".

About a month ago, I was changing to work out, I slipped my scrubs off without taking my shoes off, and as I stood there in shoes, undies and a headband, I caught my husband taking my picture so I posed playfully due to the obvious absurdity of it all. Later, I saw the picture and begged him to delete it, I hated it, all I saw was lumps and bumps. He simply smiled and softly said "I think it's beautiful". So I let him keep it.

Here's the deal- you may have been a Playboy model but not all of us work out to be "hot", some of us work out simply to honor the bodies we were given. That's all that woman was trying to do and you violated her. Shame on you. I bet I could get 100s of women to post their beautiful bodies and regardless of size, shape or color, they will ALL be more beautiful than the ugliness you showed in that post.

So, ‪#‎DaniMathers‬, I'd like to introduce you to my 5'10", 194lb lumpy, bumpy glory.

‪#‎UnSeeTHIS‬
‪#‎AllBodiesAreBeautiful‬

Hopefully more people see Blackmon's viral photo than Mathers' abhorrent one.

If you've ever thought about multi-tasking by jerking off while eating a Filet-o-Fish, you better get on it, because McDonald's has promised to block porn from people using their WiFi.

"McDonald's is committed to providing a safe environment for our customers," said a McDonald's representative this week. "We had not heard from our customers that this was an issue, but we saw an opportunity that is consistent with our goal of providing an enjoyable experience for families."

So basically, NO ONE complained about someone rubbing themselves while pounding a 10-piece chicken McNuggets (despite it being a a reasonable way to recycle the grease), but they decided to impose a WiFi filter anyway.

And Starbucks has said they are going to start filtering as well, as soon as they can figure out how to keep people from accessing porn without accidentally filtering out more suitable content (like celebrity beefs).

"This is a huge victory," said Donna Rice Hughes, president of anti-porn group Enough is Enough. "We're proud of Starbucks and McDonalds for stepping up to the plate. Internet pornography is a public health crisis. Parents need to know which family restaurants are safe from online threats."

Or, you could just keep an eye on your kids while they consume toxic amounts of salt and grease at McDonald's. You want these restaurants to babysit kids AND adults? After all, so far there have been NO COMPLAINTS of anyone watching porn at McDonald's, but there have probably been countless complaints from adults trying to eat a late-afternoon McGriddle while getting annoyed by children on the loose.

Game of Throneswas such a smash hit, HBO thinks you'll wait a couple months longer than you're used to for the new season.

Damn it. They're right.

Pushing back the start of season seven until summer 2017 instead of the typical April return, the president of HBO programming blames winter. The show's winter, not the real world's.

"Now that winter has arrived on Game of Thrones," said Casey Bloys, "executive producers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss felt that the storylines of the next season would be better served by starting production a little later than usual, when the weather is changing."

Benioff and Weiss also chimed in about the delay, on a podcast. "We’re starting a bit later because at the end of this season, ‘Winter is here’ — and that means that sunny weather doesn’t really serve our purposes any more," they told UFC Unfiltered, which must have been doing some sort of episode on a hypothetical matchup between the Clegane brothers. "So we kind of pushed everything down the line, so we could get some grim grey weather even in the sunnier places that we shoot."

So you'll have to wait until next summer for winter. Oh, and the season will only have seven episodes instead of the usual ten.

(Editor's note: If you're reading this, you should have seen GoT season six already. But still, spoilers.)​Now here's the good news: winter is here. Jon Snow's parents have been revealed. Dany is finally going to Westeros. This season's going to be worth the wait.

Over the weekend, actress Thandie Newton posted a very sweet photo, with an equally strong message about breastfeeding, on Instagram. In the photo she is breastfeeding her two-year-old son Booker at a music festival. And in the caption, she defends her right to do so against internet trolls who keep telling moms to cover up (srsly, STFU already).

"Perfect happiness @latitudefest," she wrote. "This is what my body is made for. And the rest is my choice. #Freedom."

The 43-year-old Crash actress, who also has two teenage daughters with husband Ol Parker, is the latest celebrity to take a stand against this particular strand of internet "mommy-shaming."

Chrissy Teigen took mom-empowerment (mompowerment?) to new heights a few months ago when she posted a Snapchat in which she is completely topless while breastfeeding her new baby, Luna Simone. Many members of the public have joined the movement as well, including some brave dads.

¡Viva la boob-o-lución!

Cleveland-based journalist Doug Guth is currently covering the Republic National Convention and all the weirdness that goes along with it. He happened to come across artist Sandy Buffie, who had brought her one-of-a-kind dryer lint Donald Trump statue, with the hope of selling it to some patriotic weirdo for charity. But once you see this thing, you might want it for yourself.

It's actually a perfect likeness. The lint manages to capture the texture of Trump's hair like no other medium ever has. (Maybe that's what his rug is made of). His mottled orange skin is well-represented, and she's even duplicated his signature smirk. Not only is this sculpture a fantastic representation of Trump, it would also probably make a better president, like most inanimate objects. At least it never opens its mouth.

Okay, so here's probably the worst thing for your breasts to look like: the pincer hands of a crab. Well, after getting a bad boob job—one that eventually had to be removed due an infection—that's exactly what this woman thought her breasts resembled. As in, "My name is Emily and I feel that my breasts look like crab claws." So yes, as far as horrific plastic surgery "before" stories from the TV show Botched ​go, this one is particularly memorable.

They are apparently hard and rippling underneath, which would be great if these were abs. Hmm. The episode airs on Tuesday, and hopefully doesn't end with the doctors pulling an actual crab out of Emily's chest, Alien-style.

All over the world, people love playing Pokémon Go. But in its short life, the game has already acquired a sinister reputation among pretty much everybody who isn't addicted to it. Between accidents, unfortunately-placed Pokéstops, and Bieber, there's plenty of bad press for this seemingly innocent game about trapping animals in tiny balls and forcing them to fight for sport. And the complaints don't stop there. Here are five people who have had just about enough of the Pokémon Go craze.

1. The guy who put this sign up in his yard.

2. This German kid who got a little too frustrated.

He'll never catch 'em all with that attitude.

3. This person who was misled by the internet.

4. This guy whose house became a Pokémon gym.

Boon Sheridan found that his home, a historic converted 19th century church, was designated by the Pokémon Go app as a gym. Immediately, nerds started hanging around his property at all hours so they could claim it. The problem is, he had already claimed it. Legally. It's his house.

He did, however, ultimately befriend his home's new "owner."

They're roommates now.

5. People who were robbed while Pokémon hunting.

Police in O'Fallon Missouri put out this notice about armed robbers who were specifically targeting Pokéstops to find victims.

As if hiding at a Pokéstop weren't bad enough, these crooks were deploying lures (which attract Pokémon to the stop) as a way of making sure they'd have easy pickings. And nerds wandering around looking at their phone at night are the easiest pickings any criminal has ever found.

It's safe to assume those victims are done playing Pokémon Go—if not from disgust and fear, then because their phones were stolen.

Slack: it's the hottest new app your boss is making you use. It lets everyone in the office talk and increase productivity. More importantly, it allows you to demonstrate your wit, charm, and ability to come right up to the edge of an HR violation by summoning random gifs during professional conversations. Here are 12 features of Slack that will make you seem like the most important person in the company without actually contributing more.

1. Make your own custom emojis and associate them with success.

Associate your face with good work by storing it as an emoji that literally means "good work."

First, go to http://[yourdomain].slack.com/customize/emoji

Next, choose a name for your new emoji. This will be what people type to generate it, or what they see when their mouse hovers over it. Make sure it's something that means quality, like "quality" or "good" or "good quality." Finally, create a cutout image of your face (like I did) and upload it to Slack before saving your new emoji. Congratulations, you are now the literal embodiment of quality at your company!

Comment on good ideas with your face until no one is able to think a positive thought without also seeing your mug smiling back at them. Now sit back and wait for a promotion because when your boss thinks "who is doing good quality work?" they will picture you even if this is the only thing you did all year.

2. Impress the over-35 crowd by summoning "memes" that prove you're indispensable for your ability to speak the demon language of the youths.

Its name is memebot, and it's a bot that posts memes. Old memes, that have been abandoned, but need a good home full of loving people who don't get them. There are probably newer and better memebots, but let's be honest: this is probably the most your company can handle.

To get membot, go to http://www.memetizer.com/ and click on the "add to Slack" button in the middle of all the memes. Great, now you have old memes.

It won't actually help you, but it will help management feel like they're on the bleeding edge of the internet as that same internet slowly puts them out of business.

3. "Accidentally" generate stock quotes in #Everybody.

The Stocktwits app for Slack fetches current stock prices when you type in /Stocktwits and then a symbol. Normally (you will loudly claim), you have it programmed to only show you these responses, but "for some reason" now everyone can see that you're checking the price of Berkshire Hathaway Class A stocks as well as some up-and-coming cannabis companies (because you're forward-thinking).

Just go to http://stocktwits.com/slack and click the button. Congrats, now you're a savvy capitalist.

Looks like your boss better give you a raise before you decide to make day trading your full time job, and also your manager wants to know if you play golf and if you have any hot tips.

If you can actually afford Berkshire Hathaway stock, though, what are you doing at this job?

4. Filter your notifications.

Do you really need to hear everything your coworkers say to you? No. Like when you're napping in a company-wide meeting, you can make sure only key words drag you back to attention. Words like your name, or phrases like "where are you?" "are you awake?" or "how's that project coming?"

You can also turn on a Do Not Disturb feature for when you need to do some "deep thinking" about "long term strategy" in a quiet, thoughtful location like a nearby cinema. Add highlight words or change your notification settings under "preferences" in the upper-left corner of Slack.

People will also be impressed if you turn on "Do Not Disturb" and then respond to them, making it clear that they are, in fact, disturbing you. They will feel embarrassed that they asked and grateful that someone whose time is as valuable as yours deigned to respond.

5. Giphy everything. Never think in full sentences again.

Giphy is a website and also an app you can install in Slack that generates gifs on demand. Giphy should also already be pre-loaded into Slack, so there's no setup required.

Simply type in "/giphy" and then any word and a related gif will pop up. There is no understating how much this helps with zoning out at work. You could be blind drunk and successfully talk to your CEO using just gifs. For example, when told your attendance is unsatisfactory, you can write "/giphy sorry."

When told sorry isn't enough, you can write "/giphy team player."

Then, to prove you're really serious, try "/giphy will improve."

Then you can talk about how Tim Allen is underrated and everyone will forget that you're drunk and have typos in all your non-gif responses.

6. Conduct useless, time-absorbing polls!

There are two ways to do this. One (the boring way) is to integrate a poll app into Slack like "Simple Poll," which you can find here. The more fun way is to force everyone to respond to a slack comment with different emojis. Why do this? You don't rise to management by doing great work; you rise to management by doing great talk about the work the company is doing.

So go ahead and spend half your day "sounding people out," "getting the lay of the land," and "making sure everyone's on the same page," even if you're actually just "seeing what people want for lunch."

7. You can edit comments! Specifically, comments you really shouldn't have made!

Professional success is partly the positive contributions you make to work and conversations, but also partly your ability to keep people from seeing the stupider things that leave your head. Thankfully, Slack lets you edit comments you thought were in private channels but accidentally went to #everybody. You can find this by clicking the "..." button that pops up when you hover over a comment.

Did you write "lol David complains about a stinky fridge but he won't even wear deodorant to work" in response to the office manager's post? No, you didn't. You wrote "lol let's get lunch soon and discuss new marketing strategies." It may not make sense, but you know anyone who reads that boring sentence will try to forget it as soon as possible.

Plus, now that you changed your statement, you can simply insist that your HR person is imagining things until they doubt their own sanity and check into a mental institution, a practice known as "Slacklighting."

8. The /remind function can help you remember when to comment on a channel so people assume you're still at work.

Are you 20 seconds away from an unplanned cubicle nap? Use Slack's built-in "remind" feature as an alarm clock that will sound to your office neighbors like someone just doing a lot of work. If you type in "/remind me in two hours to complain about how swamped I am," you'll get a notification in two hours reminding you to complain about how swamped you are. Now, here's the rub: one little notification won't rouse you from a nap. BUT, if you type that in over and over, you'll get a notification every 5 seconds or so, depending how long it takes you to type that message.

9. Someecards!

Nothing says "I'm a hip member of the digital age" like a randomly-generated Someecard loosely related to the word of your choice! Add Someecards to your company's Slack right now, and then just type "/someecards" and any word to generate a somewhat-appropriate card.

10. Make a channel just for your tweets.

Tracking twitter feeds in a Slack channel is supposed to be for "keeping track of the competition," but it can also be for "keeping track of how awesome you are." After all, it's kind of a waste for you to tweet all day if everyone else at work can't see it.

Slack has a whole page set up just to guide you through adding a Twitter feed to Slack, but remember to give your tweet bot a badass name like "MegaTweets" and maybe change its image to another picture of your face for good measure.

11. Integrate Skype so that no one will message you because they know you'll suddenly appear like the disembodied head of Oz and no one wants to talk face-to-face in 2016.

Seriously, avoiding face-to-face conversation is why Slack exists. Add Skype and never talk to anyone again.

12. Avoid ever being fired by responding to "come to my office" with /shrug. You don't have to add anything, just type "/shrug".

Sarah Palin isn't at the Republican convention this week. And it looks like it might be because Palin, one of Donald Trump's biggest supporters, is busy tending to her son's battery charges.

Blogger Charles Johnson noticed the inconvenient timing of the trial and the convention while perusing Alaska's court record database.

Track Palin was arrested in January 2016 for drunkenly attacking his girlfriend. According to police reports, after beating her, he taunted her by putting an AR-15 to his head and threatening to kill himself, reportedly asking "Do you think I'm a pussy?"

But if you ask Donald Trump, Palin isn't attending because"it’s a little bit difficult because of where she is. We love Sarah. Little bit difficult because of, you know, it’s a long ways away.”

Yeah Donald, because Alaska is basically a third world country, zero commercial airlines go there, and it's actually filled with Eskimos.